To Suffer

To suffer:

it's about not wanting to suffer, coming to just a few basic things - the ease of breath, to have the needs of life met, and yes to have love and know a true connection. Philosophy takes a shift with these concerns, no longer the drive to find a certain truth, or reality exposed in a final find. 

sometimes a single, clear breath is enough. 

life is often found to be a struggle, and even as tragedy is dodged suffering seems to loom near. Loss is in inescapable. It's how life goes. I've spent years seeking to come to terms with this, to find a place where hurt didn't...hurt. It's often said that pain is unavoidable but suffering is an option, that once a level of equanimity is developed there comes a point of surrender to the cares of the world. I find that doubtful. Yes, meditation has brought a sense of ease and balance to my life. I'm able to flow with the rough aspects of life, quickly returning to a sense of calm. 

but right now I'm suffering.

and I find no need to add the weight of spiritual disapproval to this, that I should transcend and heal my mind if not my body. My suffering belongs to the moment, it's the pure pain of what's happening now without the hope of change. It's just what is. Of course even the wish to escape this pain belongs, hope and the belief to heal belong too. Whatever is present is true to the moment and most certainly belongs for the moment of its appearance. 

nothing is chased away.

to suffer is not an option - or if it is I haven't reach that level of charmed equanimity yet and doubt I ever will. But I do have some understanding of how things are, that what's present is what I have to deal with and I may bring any level of strength and grace to see me through. Or sometimes none at all. This isn't a matter of what I can do, my strength of body and will mean nothing. 

it's about not wanting to suffer - and right now I am, with little I can do. This is what the moment brings me, and it's simple really. Sometimes there's just suffering. 

that's all I seem to know. 

~

Peace, Eric