Resisting Thoughts

it doesn't come from resisting thoughts, but through celebrating their appearance, that we're able to entertain a thought at all, and of all the infinite possibilities to cross our minds, this particular one has caught our attention in the moment of its passing. The key is lightness, just an easy note of our attention for however long it last, or whatever stream is calls for us to follow - thoughts are the energy of consciousness, an aspect of the mind, and creative in their flow. We are the silent capacity that allows thoughts their presence, an underlying stillness for their passage. 

we are silence, listening.

and that's meditation, simply listening, whatever catches our attention is worthy of note and instantly gone in the moment of our notice. There is nothing to hold on to here, ever, we are a constant meditation of listening, patient by virtue of our silent nature. Thoughts appear, they entertain us with stories of their cause, and disappear completely on their own. 

peace doesn't come from resisting thoughts, in truth it doesn't arrive at all - peace is an illusion of the mind, it's just another thought that gives measure to our reactions. The thought of peace is deceptive in its allure, enticing our pursuit, and all the while just a phantom of existence, fleeting, another thought in passing. 

peace is a concept. 

and yet,

our reality is of capacity, presence in service to all that disturbs or give please, seamless by embrace, and everything belong here, no thought excluded, and nothing is resisted. This is reality itself, and in truth nothing can be resisted, not really, what appears is present for however long its stay, an aspect of the moment no matter our opinion. Of course we often find ourselves resisting certain situations, unpleasant conditions, thoughts we find painful to consider. We take action to change things, seeking better outcomes than what's present. We're human, we think, believe, act. It's what we do.

and yet,

we're capacity for all of that to happen, allowing by our very nature.

nothing has to change, but it will. 

thoughts pass, with or without our notice.

and this, is the reality of meditation. 

~

Peace, Eric 

 

Without An Edge

Without an edge:

of a self-creating universe, from a singularity, dense with the energy of all existence, and exploding in such a way that its own space and time are provided for expansion. The universe doesn't expand by occupying an emptiness already present, but creates itself through continuous motion, and always without an edge of its own, a true becoming of an infinite proportion.

and here we are too, without true edge of our own, endlessly becoming and expanding, every bit the universe, belonging as that singularity from point of origin, and now continued through the reach of its expansion. There is nothing but universe, one thing in infinite expression of itself, and there is no measure taken that doesn't include us within the immensity of its appraisal. 

not even emptiness existed before the absolute nothingness of the singularity, only potentiality, desire without first cause, and from this came the universe in immense expansion, an explosion of its own instantaneous fulfillment -  soundless, until a vacuum was created for vibrations to be heard, without reach, and yet providing room for its own enlargement. 

we belong as this self-creating universe, without an edge, infinite by design. This isn't the secret of a new age promise, but simply a description of what we are, our potentiality built in through the very fabric of our existence, a true promise of our own self-creation. Without an edge, no boundaries to define us, we are effortless in our expansion, the universe continued and expressed so perfectly as to what we are right now, this exact moment with everything changing and yet without need for anything to ever change at all, just this, always just this, just this...

we provide all that's needed for our expansion, with nothing missing from our own potentiality, and it's with this we place our faith, not of a promise that we manifest a better world, but that we are already, right now, the manifestation of our own fulfillment, continuing on from initial singularity to this moment, and all without our effort, spontaneous by design. 

a self-creating universe. 

~

Peace, Eric 

 

An Entirely Different Sort

An entirely different sort: 

this is capacity of an entirely different sort, not defined by any borders, seamless between objects and the emptiness of its hold, and allowing by its nature. In its truest sense, pure, it's simply our existence, what we are without the pretense of being merely physical, believing ourselves entirely of form - and it's our trade of appearance, our solidness, for spaciousness and back again, constant to the point of being indistinguishable. 

to say capacity is to be inclusive to all it seems to hold as well, that this isn't an emptiness separate from its fulfillment, but one thing really, formless, until lending itself to the appearance of the world, an allowing void of pure potentiality, creative, no more so, creativity itself. This is our description, one too of an entirely different sort, and true in every sense of being real. 

we are the creativity void, capacity, and the beauty of display.

to see this, is to join ourselves in reality, we become playful through the mystery of the void, how things appear, seamlessly so, existing at once as emptiness and form without dispute of prominence, simply being, being, being, even when absent from the view. Nothing is seen as ever being really lost, only returned to the source of its appearance, remaining true by nature, and even now being rearranged, re-imagined in the light of new form, another appearance from and as the void. It's our secret of creativity, trusting ourselves as the source of every beautiful line ever drawn or brushed against canvas, the wisdom of every written or spoken word, and more still, as the universe itself and all its varied display of mystery, grace, and wonder. 

we are true artist, all.

 capacity of an entirely different sort.

~

Peace, Eric 

Single Body

Single body: 

all aspects of a single body, and only thought to be apart in anyway, separate in belief alone. That we are the earth and atmosphere is without deny, being elements, minerals, all somehow given human form. As well we are designed to draw air, a literal breath of sky brought through and released in vital function to not only ourselves but to nourish plant life through our exhale of carbon dioxide. In this way we are interdependent with forest, plants, and grassland, and all belonging to a greater body still. 

from first existence as life we were of the ocean, singled celled to more complex life forms evolving through the water's depth, a womb of continuous development until a final reach for land. Even now we carry the ocean through our veins, blood being mostly water, plasma with salt and ions in similar to measure to the sea. The ocean is our life blood still, connected as a single body, an influence of climate, rain, and air to the continuation of our existence. 

earth is indeed our body, yet more, and further still...

we are the universe as well.

with an ocean through our veins we are tugged by moon's gravity, our smaller tides in ebb and flow to its call, a single body shared between us. At our most subtle level we are particles of starlight, a continuation of the Big Bang brought to our own individual, unique conclusion. At no point are these particles ours alone though, we are a shared existence, our own molecules are made of atoms that have shaped the dawn of time, belonging to the original release of light from the exploding singularity that gave cause for the universe to expand. 

our reality is of endless structure, release of form, and emptiness for life in rearrangement. It's all a single body, creative by its own design. We believe ourselves to be much smaller than we truly are, as well we are lost within our own self-importance, confused by our seeming separation from the world. The truth is that we can find place where our bodies leave off and the universe begins. Our reach is immediate to the stars, intimate to its touch of air against our fingers. We are of a single body, aspects of the whole shared in benefit for the creative continuation of its expression. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Intrinsic Value

intrinsic in its value, and without any requirement of space for its expansion - the universe continues gaining in its reach, ongoing still from that moment a singularity of compressed space and gravity, infinite in it's mass, exploded in its great desire to be more. The universe began with a bang and even now is in its effects, cooling from its initial heat, planets formed, life in primordial essence soon began. 

from this,

and here we are.

now.

true in our expansion.

this is our own intrinsic value too, built into the very fabric of our existence, we are the universe in its gain, a continuation of its reach. Again, science shows that there is no requirement of space for the universe to expand, indeed, there was nothing found outside the immediate existence of its original singularity, not even emptiness, as space itself was still unborn, just nothing in its most absolute sense of being alone. 

from one.

and it continues, everything is of this one essence, energy, our own intrinsic value is of the universe itself, from the origins of that infinite compression of space-time, mass, desire to expand. We are the universe, the big bang in continuation of its reach, without goal, nor endpoint planned, ongoing. As well we don't require space for our expansion, our essence is spaciousness itself, self-creating in its gain. By nature we are a process of expansion, serving both as capacity, emptiness, as well as fulfillment of desire, a life of creative beauty and display. 

and all with effort.

it's simply what we are, our intrinsic value,

always.

~

Peace, Eric 

 

Of Nothingness

Of Nothingness:

of nothingness and now expansion, that once a singularity existed containing the potential for universal design, having all of space-time, and mass within ins hold. Physicist describe this as a gravitational singularity of infinite density and that quantum fluctuations gave cause for its rapid expansion, an explosion and what we know as the Big Bang. This is our origin story, how the universe came to be. Of course there are theories of what, if anything, existed just before this singularity, as it seems that even without the existence of space-time, that every beginning has a moment just before,

 mostly, when we think of nothingness, it isn't absolute. We imagine some sort of emptiness, a void that simply has no objects in its hold. It's hard for us to conceive of space not yet existing, a nothingness so absolute that we have no concept to compare, and it's from this that even emptiness emerges. 

and what's amazing, is that right now we are living through this expansion, the Big bang still continued on, and that we are part of its display, pieces belonging to a cosmic rush without an end result in mind. This is an expansion that doesn't have an edge, it doesn't reach a border and then carry on, but it's simply a continuation of itself, fulfilling its own design through the infinite reach of its motion. 

it's not that we merely belong to this, but that it's exactly what we are, right now and always, mystery and energy, of nothingness and now expansion. Physics is really the description of what we are, astronomy the observation of our own infinite reach. Our origin isn't left behind, we carry the absolute with us even now, nothingness being home as well as our true potential. This is the story not of becoming, but of transformation, that we are of nothingness and now expanding, a continuous change only of identity, creation without borders...

self-fulfilling motion. 

of nothingness, and now expansion. 

~

Peace, Eric 

From Here

from here, wherever this might be, and whatever label given to the void - this is an emptiness that seems to travel well, always available to notice, accessible by it's very nature. Pointing to it directly and I disappear in a trade of form for the seamless embrace which holds the world, my presence immediately, and more truly seen, as capacity, infinite by design. What starts as inquiry, simply pointing towards the source from where the view unfolds, an honest seeking to see what's there, and reality is instantly exposed by the innocence of looking, my prominence removed and grace revealed within the same moment - I am nothing, headless, and yet so much more than I ever could imagine.

at once...

emptiness,

and all that it becomes.

yet everything remains ordinary, that I've always lived in wonder and have simply, easily, awakened to this present awe.  From here, everything belongs, whatever's seen is seamless to the view, sounds emerge from their silent hold, gifted to my ears. Thoughts, every sensation, appear through the energy of their motion, fleeting, insubstantial, leaving nothing in their wake but room for next appearance. Yes, I've always been headless, spacious, allowing, and all somehow without notice. Awakening to this, it's only a matter of attention, a slight turning of the view back towards its source, or listening to the first note of a morning songbird, how seamlessly and pure the sound comes to the ears, and just as soon slips back to a silent pause, giving room for another note to play. 

from here, no description is necessary, words appear, poetry, and yet nothing is ever true in telling - it's all another gift, imagination, and not meant to capture anything more than the moment of its inspiration. My words only serve my own notice, that somehow they appear, thought-forms, without any meaning until gathered to the page. It's all magic really, nothing, emptiness, and that every detail of the world, galaxies, the universe through its further reach - simply appear, and my own appearance too. 

From here, it's seen that I belong to this, somehow, and without explanation. 

I am.

~

Peace, Eric 

Only To This Present Moment

Only to this present moment:

and only to this present moment, and with this, whatever's happening now, our thoughts, sensations, all shifting and entirely new with every notice - this is the experience that matters, and more so, it's the only possible one we may have. Nothing takes place outside this moment. Experiences themselves will never be collected, as even memories are present in occurrence, not even a trace of past events survive beyond their given moment, everything happens now. 

but this isn't an urge for mindfulness, to give notice to stay present to the details of the moment, although it's often a worthy practice and serves as anchor to whatever's happening right now. This is just a call to consolidate energy to this single point, to experience this moment for its value, even with distractions and thoughts that seem to pull us to another place and time - to just know that all this can only happen now, never in another moment, only, always now. 

that's enough for us to know, there's no need to chase further wisdom, if there's more to be gained it will be revealed only to this present moment. With this, every experience is our awakening, we are enlightened by the touch of sun against skin, by first sip and bitter taste of morning coffee, through a lingering scent that calls our memory back through time. Nothing takes us outside this moment, not truly so, and even as our thoughts might seem to wander, we remain completely here, at home, resting in the experience and energy of wandering thoughts, mindful of where we really are. 

only to this present moment...

it's that simple.

~

Peace, Eric 

Hard Problem

Hard problem:

it's a hard problem only to those who wish to explain it, seeking answers as to how consciousness emerges from matter, and why we have experiences of such depth, beauty, and meaning. It's a hard problem for scientist and philosophers to solve, a worthy quest for their community and I'm sure one with many possible benefits to offer the world. 

Yet, for me, not being a scientist, and with little interest in the philosophy of the mind, I have no problems of conspicuousness to solve, no issues of how or if the origin of experience arises from non-sentient matter or steeped into the very the very fabric of existence.  

it's simply miraculous either way.

there's life, and for my own sake, it arises spontaneously, raw experiences and then seemingly in the same instant thoughts appear in narration, giving an opinion to my world. None of this happens with any conscious effort, nothing is required of me but to continue in encounter. I am gifted with this life, and with its every sorrow and joy, beauty and its contrast, and all for the simple means of my experience. There's nothing for me to explain, even if I were capable of such language. I'm present, perhaps only for a moment, as an aspect of life, somehow found aware, and if a chemical process occurring within organic matter is the source of this miracle - it's cause for awe and celebration as well. 

it's that non-sentient matter, the dirt and minerals of my existence, somehow conspire in a secret alchemical language of their own, and through this my thoughts appear, but more subtle still that I know myself as aware, experiencing, gifted with sheer appreciation - I have no doubt that this is the very stuff of God, and in ever means a religious sense, that my worship is only worthy of each experience alone, this moment, now, and always now, so holy through its offer. 

scientist and most philosophers might demean the term God, and my use of religious language.They are free in their interpretation. These are careful words for me, not a hard problem for here at all - it's a reinterpretation of their meaning, reverting to their original sense of mystery. I am aware, conscious of experience, and none of it explained. Science too, is just a language, making sense and adding meaning to the world. I'm grateful for its many gifts. But my own hard problem is solved beyond a single doubt - there's life, and for my own sake it arises spontaneously, full of ease and grace, asking only for the least effort of my appreciation. 

and with this, I give the world my joy. 

~

Peace, Eric 

My Forest Koan

My forest koan:

an answer to my forest koan - that no tree ever falls without my presence near, somehow joined across land and shared sky, connected by unseen, deeper, roots. If a tree falls, there is only the sound of my own descent, my own crash to earth, all vibrations carried through stillness, reaching for ears, and yet there's just the listening, pure, undisturbed, and it's this that reveals my true connection to the world. 

nothing occurs without my participation. 

or perhaps a better answer to my forest koan, is that it's not my participation, but more truly, only participating, that right now the world hums with singular belonging, everything simply aspects of the whole.There is no real forest, no tree that can be found absent from earth, sky, and more subtle still from my own breath. Not one thing is ever separate from another, entwined by senses, we only see aspects of our own arrangement of particles, shifting to new designs, we hear our own falling, sounding as a tree, crashing to the ground of one existence. 

it's all one thing, unique, appearing as distinct, yet always just one thing. 

the classic koan is, if a tree falls in a forest and there is no one there to hear it, does it make a sound? And my answer to this is - that I don't know, there is no forest without me, no tree falling on its own. There's only the sound of participating, of air lending itself to the vibrations of the fall, particles in a wave, and through all this, somehow too I belong. There's just the falling, and only thoughts of forest, of tree, and even of a witness, but nothing is present but the listening, pure and undisturbed. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Whole Forest

Whole forest:

the whole forest is more complex than the appearance of trees on a designated reach of land, there's no true borders to its biodiversity, no claim of acreage to the flight of birds that dwell there, insects that burrow beneath its surface, and touch of ocean carried by the rain. The whole forest is life, and extends all the way to our every breath taken, blessed and cleansed by the vital function of the trees, and in our own role of biodiversity -we exhale their favor in return, contributing to their well being through expelled carbon dioxide, a bit of essence shared.

we are forest too. 

no matter where we are.

there's no sense in viewing ourselves separate from the world, nor to divide it all in parts, a series of ecological systems that's somehow not a cooperation of the whole. We know better, truly and deeply so, we know our reality is one deeply entwined to soil, nourished through roots, and branched to sky. We breathe this connection, belonging completely to the influence of its span, interdependent to the point of being a single living entity. 

a whole forest, an ecology of simply being.

so at what point do we not hold ourselves a sacred grove? We are forest too, made of earth minerals, nourished by air, roots unseen but just as real. This is our ecosystem, earth to its depth, sky touched all the way to stars. There is no place not seen as true home, nowhere we don't belong. To see this, truly, deeply so, is to restore our place of honor, being whole forest again, a return as sacred grove. 

endless in our reach.

~

Peace, Eric 

True Generosity

True generosity:

it's true generosity, life, and through all it offers there is only the giving of just one thing, that everything received is designed for the benefit of our continuation as aspects of its reach. What we are is the result of this endless display of giving, a perfect harmony of breath to air, heartbeat in rhythm to vital functions of the body, the very atmosphere that surrounds us is an embrace of infinite care. It all has the self-interest of singular well-being, and we are matched to this, equal in the true generosity of our nature. As life, we are in cooperation with the whole affair, an aspect too in vital function to the larger body of the world. 

through this we are generous to a fault, a pure design of harmonious giving, and it's all to the point of being seamless, that each breath is immediately returned to air, nourishing life in its further expression of plants and trees, and to this we benefit by the very next breath taken. What a beautiful display of intimacy, belonging to such a perfect order of kindness and care, this true generosity of simply being alive. We are blessed beyond any means of measure.

and all this without conscious effort of our own, our essential nature in free rein of generosity, no attention drawn to its display. We are built for kindness, energy in essence, an attraction of particles drawn together through unimaginable emptiness, so vast that the odds of our existence are without compare. Yet here we are, a somehow possibility of life, and we are meant to be continuous in our giving. To consider this generosity is to be in contact with reality, remembering ourselves as essence, kindness to the very core of our existence. 

it's simply what we are.

~

Peace, Eric 

My Preference

My preference:

to have my preference, an opinion on any matter found at hand - this all I'm ever, truly allowed, as life itself is without care for my circumstance or pleasure. Yet this is far from somber news, that the universe is indifferent to me demands frees me to accept any present situation even as I offer my complaint or wish for things to be other than they are right now. This acceptance isn't passive, but an active role in clearly viewing each moment as it occurs, finding myself here, without escape from whatever's now unfolding, a participant with life at play. 

my past mistake, so it seems at least, was believing in my own control of life, that I was separate from events with some clear, singular course of purpose. When life took turns of benefit, I praised myself for good fortune and wise choices, and just as easily questioned my wisdom, my intelligence, berated myself for every failure, if my desire wasn't met. Life was a tumultuous ride of inconsistencies, events far beyond control were given merit to my worth. It's how many of us navigate through life, with too much belief that we are master of a certain destiny, manifesting through force of will for things to be just right, and left wondering at our loss when life fails to turn that way. 

here's the thing, life's always in charge.

also,

we're never found apart from life, not separate from events, but full, active participants of its motion. This is true power, real, belonging to a force far greater than the imagined scope of will. Each moment is my acceptance, and by this I mean that I am embraced completely by the flow of life, a sacred, holy inclusion of all I am, from pettiness to grand gestures, my every thought and act belong so intimately to the whole, dear to the point that only this moment ever truly exists, just this, here, belonging, belonging...

always. 

of course I have my preference for life to be a certain way, choices made and actions taken - I have hope that life will flow to my design, matching dreams and plans. But I know it's full of unexpected turns, moments of sorrow, decisions I'll regret, true and deep suffering will occur. Life will offer me everything it holds and that's the price paid for my inclusion. There is no choice available here, not in this belonging, only my preference, and even this is seen more clearly now. What's really happening, every moment, truly, is a surrender - life carries on, flowing, and I am carried too within its power. With this...even my preference is dissolved. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Accepting Loss

Accepting loss: 

accepting loss - and with this, I am grateful for presence, that I am able to acknowledge this spacious nature that holds the world so dear, intimately, and at once is willing to surrender it all within the very same instant. To accept loss is to recognize life through the fluid reach of its appearance, everything being a shifting expression that isn't meant to last beyond the moment it's observed. With this insight it's seen that loss is constant, happening now, and now, and infinitely onward. I have already lost everything perceived mine, slipped on to emptiness, and yet it seems my world is full again, somehow life in balance through this presence, somehow perfect too...

yes, perfect, although it's a difficult word to use now, feeling keen the loss of my father, life seems hardly perfect. But it is so, and even through my sorrow I can't deny that this was simply our time of letting go, life in conclusion of this appearance and the embrace of new expressions. There is pain involved, grief, and I mourn this loss deeply. Yet, I also trust that through this process life is reborn, redistributed through it's very essence. 

continued.

and on it goes, life, rising in appearance, shifting, and once more returned to source - eternal in the sense of our recreation, becoming something other through a new arrangement of particles, atoms, molecules once more in unique expression. Accepting loss through the eyes of an artist, canvas once again empty, ready, willing itself to be filled by life in all its beauty. I accept the loss of my father, of losing so much through these hard, recent years. And I see too this rearrangement, how this moment now holds the energy of loss to its advantage, a void seamlessly filled through its very own essence. My sorrow is part of this too, belonging to loss, a free expression of the whole. It's presence that handles every detail, balancing, opening to a brand new view that even now is ready to be let go. 

and on it goes...

~

Peace, Eric 

How It Happens

How it happens: 

here's how it happens for me, thoughts surrender to my notice with no effort given to their departure, nor is there a wish to deny their return. Everything happens in its own grace of letting go and I am included fully in this process too. It's a relaxed, easy meditation, and now continues on its own without my tending to its care, natural, an ease of presence and simply being alive, breathing. 

nothing special, really.

and yet, there have been times when battles have been raged within my mind, thoughts in contradiction to my own preservation and best interest. I've come through the fires of self torment, believing myself of little worth, and not belong to the world. It's not that these thoughts, feelings, have completely disappeared, but that now, somehow, they gain no purchase in my mind, their grip no longer certain in their hold. They're faint visitors now, nothing more. 

there are still dark moods, depression, and presently a heavy grief with the loss of my father - and all of this occurs within an overall lightness of being, a seamless process of allowing these things to happen without need of interference, not pushing heaviness away for lightness to appear, but accepting the moment exactly as it is for now. I don't know how gravity works, how it happens, only that it's a present universal law that works without my notice, a force that pulls all weight towards the center of the earth. Somehow, with grace perhaps, I've come to my own gravitation pull, the mass of a lifetime worth of self battle falling to center, presence, my own allowing, open, nature. 

completely on it's own.

this is how it happens, I have no idea why, I'm only thankful that it does, that it's a universal gift, a shared gravity for all. Just knowing that it's present, always, spacious and aware, this seems to bring a certain sense of ease, lightness, a surrender to its pull. I don't need to know how gravity works for weight to be surrendered - I just let go, trusting...

~

Peace, Eric 

Entangled To Another

Entangled to another:

there's only life, energy, one thing in various appearance - and for me, this is the essence of non-duality, it's science really, life isn't divided into portions. I exist now as particles that just as easily could have been a leaf branched from a fig tree, or the very tip of an insects antenna, and perhaps one day this may prove to be my fortune. Any particle that has ever been entangled to another belongs now as my potential. I am atoms all the way down to particles and further still I come down to nothing, emptiness existing as pure capacity for the universe to be. 

the essence of non-duality, is life, entangled.

what could be said, is that I don't exist independently on my own, that my every aspect could be broken down to infinite points that share existence with something other. It's an endless process, the universe in structure and the space for its appearance, seamless, one thing in essence. 

non-dual.

this is a thread to follow, an inquiry that takes me from a solid, separate self to smaller points that are entirely dependent on the whole, nothing truly existing apart from another. Arriving to emptiness, seeing myself in original formless nature, this same thread now reconstructs it all, following it back to the present reality of form and function. Nothing's changed, but of course everything is different, my view of the world is altered, no longer able to see a single thing apart from me. 

everything belongs, entangled to another, endlessly, seamless.

does this need to be validated in anyway, proven to guru or authority on such matters? No, it's to be lived, explored, cherished as a changing point of reality. The entire entirety of existence is mine without a single thing to prove, only to be my own perfect example of living, of being only, exactly, whatever it is that I truly am through each occurring instant. 

there is a thread of entanglement between us, and this is what I follow. 

~

Peace, Eric 

A Dolphin's Fingers

A dolphin's fingers:

perhaps our measure is wrong - and with this I am reminded of a dolphin's fingers, and more there is other remaining physical evidence of their land based history. Inside of a dolphin's flipper reside five distinct finger bones, as well there are several other features, remnants of their time on land, that are very similar to our own. Over 4 billion years ago early life emerged from the sea, simple singled celled microbes cultivated conditions for a plant based world and were later followed by more complex forms that continued to evolve on land. It's how we came to be. At some point, one of these creatures, earliest of dolphins, sniffed the air with a last intent of staying on land and returned to life within the sea. 

Of course this is simplified evolution, vastly so, but the point is intelligence, not an individual measure of how smart another life form is, not a comparison, nor contrast, to our own evolution of intelligent design - just intelligence itself, life in such harmony and wonder that a single celled creature could ignite the world in green and shades of flowers, and that the earliest dolphins followed from the sea to roam the land. Yet evolution, life, took another turn and some creatures returned to the ocean to evolve, adapting to conditions in such harmonious extent that they are now seamless from their world. 

this intelligence can't be measured through individual portions, compared from our particular point of study and declared to be lesser than our own. It's all intelligence, life in creative design be it random or otherwise. I make no claim to know if there's a higher intent, and to do so seems to miss the greater mystery of life itself, a full array of living conditions that call for our own harmonious display. 

we too are seamless from our world. 

we're part of this intelligence, not an instrument of measure, but a full belonging, and in no way are we separate from its observation. Science is all self-study, from microbe to a dolphin's fingers, everything belongs by its own measure, a purpose of design, intent, and at no point are we excluded from this grace of intelligence and life. Our measure is wrong, it divides and misses the whole extent of our belonging - there's only life, energy, and some creative urge to find this all displayed through various means of space and form. 

Typing these words, I am reminded of a dolphin's fingers, now covered by fin and used to navigate its oceans home. My own fingers are instruments of navigation, aiding formless thoughts to words appearing on a page. Indeed, and without true measure, our world is full of wonder. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Voluntarily Vulnerable

Voluntarily vulnerable:

voluntarily vulnerable - and this is simply the recognition of the walls we've built between ourselves and the world, a one time protection believed to keep us safe from harm and now no longer serve their purpose. We surrender now to their fall, unafraid of where this leaves us, exposed only to our own fears, our every perceived weakness, and judgement of mistakes. These are all illusions, real in the sense of our belief, yet not of any substance, not worth the price of self constructed walls. 

this isn't a choice, being voluntarily vulnerable, not really, but a refusal to rebuild what's now already falling completely on its own. Life has brought us here, a continuous path of brokenness that leads always to a most vulnerable moment, the exact instant of falling walls and the realization that what appeared broken was really the freedom of own spaciousness peeking through these self constructed walls, glimpses of our real open nature. What's shown through brokenness is reality, that life always leaves us vulnerable to the harm of living, suffering loss, grief, and the countless things that make us fearful of their happening - and yet they all occurred, not a single wall served to keep us from harms way, life continued still, and with it too there was joy in balance to our loss, there was love immeasurable to any grief, and the courage to continue living while afraid. 

and seeing this, walls crumble on their own.

being voluntarily vulnerable is our surrender to their fall, abiding in the spaciousness now, and always present, our own openness that simply allows, allows, and continuously allows life in all its play and drama, unfolding as it will without any resentment to what follows. Walls are no longer needed, and perhaps they never were, it doesn't matter though, not really, it's this moment that truly counts, right now, and without a single wall existing. 

they were illusions all along. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Just As

Just as:

just as rain falls, belonging seamlessly to the emptiness of air, received by earth in the fullness of its welcome, and infinite drops in formation of a rainstorm - we too are an event, acting through individual cohesion, yet always falling through our own spacious nature, received as well in seamless fashion. Just as rain falls. 

rainfall, a single word for countless drops at once, descriptive of action, a noun in common usage - and with every drop essential to formation. I hear rainfall now, an autumn rain that wakes me well before dawn, urging me to listen. Each drop is a contribution of sound, a note against roof, window,earth, such a symphony playing at this moment, with everything indispensable to its creation, and listening, listening, there's silence too, and I hear it all, rainfall, so much within a single word. 

it occurs to me my own essential role, this listening, gently waked for my participation. 

there is so much to this belonging, rainfall, and just as countless drops are described by one word - I find myself now as rainfall too, infinite things at once and all falling through an emptiness that holds me so intimately near, that I wake to my own disappearance, knowing that I've always been infinite things at once dreaming of a single fall. 

just as rainfall.

seamless.

too.

~

Peace, Eric 

 

My Practice Is Curiosity

My practice is curiosity:

my practice is curiosity, it's less about belief than it is intuitions, that I am led to certain considerations of ideas and views, teachers, and these capture a moment of my attention. I'm curious about possibilities and entertain them not as truth, but as to what they offer - do they broaden my world in any way, appeal to my imagination? Nothing has to be true in any ultimate sense, and there is no reason (for me) to adopt a system of belief that limits, or insists for me to follow.

my only real practice is curiosity.

my beliefs on spiritual matters are few, and even these are given the flexibility to be wrong, more shown to be guidelines to help me navigate the world. This frees me of religion, any strict rules to follow that limit curiosity in anyway. The scientific view is that what's considered true is open to be proven wrong, that reality is always more than what's known right now. But even some scientist are limited in their view, captured by their own beliefs systems, dismissing possibilities that their intuition might show. The character Wiggs Danyboy, in Tom Robbins wonderful novel Jitterbug Perfume, declares that the universe does not have laws, it has habits, and habits can be broken. What we now know as laws, are really just interpretations and might one day be expanded. 

as Schrodinger showed us, curiosity did not kill the cat, but gave only possibilities, life and death existing at once, a feline heart sutra to consider. The laws of belief are surrendered in this thought experiment, intuition and imagination given free reign. Einstein traveled on a beam of light and arrived at a conclusion of relativity, but even this was expanded on in later quantum revelations. What if Einstein allowed his journey to continue? Is there any final destination for a curios mind, or just detours, thought curves that steer us to relative views to consider? 

the Buddhist thinker Nagarjuna urged this curiosity, his middle way is the flexible consideration of relevance, that one thing exists only in relation to the concept of another, each possessing an inherent emptiness on their own. This breaks us of the habit of taking anything as law, it frees us to be curios to every aspect of the world, ourselves included. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Perfect Design

Perfect design:

an oyster and its shell are not two separate things, the shell itself is an organic structure of intent, made from the very molecules of its existence. Oysters have a body part called a mantel that serves to create its shell, pulling minerals from the water to nourish this achievement. The shell isn't just a protective home, but an extension of its oyster-self, made in cooperation from its environment, just the right minerals found, particular molecules belonging to the mollusks to serve in this creative task. It's the perfect design, a singular expression of its oyster-self, and yet in no way removed from the waters of its creation. To see an oyster is to witness the genius of the ocean, nature in cooperation, a universe in perfect design without need of ultimate designer. 

life.

and we are not so different from an oyster, a product too of ultimate design, perfect in our own expression. We are an environment of infinite source, dependent on air cleansed by trees, oceans kept in order by our oyster friends and other life forms, and these favors are returned by breath and the functions of our bodies that allow for us to breathe. We are as oysters with a larger shell, creating our home with every inhalation and release, not protected from the world but belonging in full cooperation.  

we are perfect in design.

to realize this, no, more truly so, to remember this, is our return home, to reenter the garden of intent and relax as original nature. We don't have to strive to belong to the world, we're in no way separate from the environment which hold us even now. We're here, home, and essential to the structure of the world. The very particles of our existences will outlast our particular form and lend themselves to new designs, a continuation of infinite becoming, reorganizing, and becoming once again. 

we are endless in creation. 

our perfect design is only of this moment, fragile, self-created by breath and heartbeat as surely as an oyster's shell. Remembering this, grateful for such precise conditions for us to be alive, curious as to our connection with every aspect of creation - we find ourselves again within the garden, our true and only home, here, now. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Deeper Than Community

Deeper than Community:

is it possible for me to hold your sadness too, carrying the weight of both our sorrows, even for the briefest time? I don't know, especially now in doubt of my own strength, feeling so lost within an unimaginable grief, and wishing mostly to be alone. But we are part of something, all of us, deeper than community, a common life shared through individual expressions, yet always, most truly, belonging together as the whole. 

we are never really alone,

 and what I believe is that I'm never asked to carry another's sorrow, it's enough to be present to my own grief, tending to my wounds now, free of any expectations as to how this should appear and the length of time to grieve. This is what I give myself, this gift of being present to my needs, of allowing just this, whatever's brought to notice, to simply be here, and not rushed to be denied or even healed. Just allowed, acknowledged in its presence, nothing more. 

it's with this recognition that we discover something deeper than community, that healing is a single entity existing within a network of our together. It's ours. Tending to my own sorrows brings light to yours, acknowledging my burden lessens a common weight held between us both. We don't heal separately, deeper than community, it all takes place at once, my sadness yours, one grief, and whatever your sorrow is mine as well. 

with this we are never asked to hold another's sadness, to ease anyone's sorrow but our own - it's not possible for me to carry the weight of your grief, but I recognize its burden, and with this I know that it belongs to me as well, that we carry a single weight, collective, and that my true healing is in this recognition. It's not selfish to wish this time to be alone, focusing on wounds so long ignored, no, this is still something shared between us, quietly now, tender and intimate in a way that doesn't need anything but acknowledging this deeper community. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Anything May Arise

Anything may arise:

that anything may arise, and more so, that we exist as seamless capacity for whatever it is that will appear - this alone is our creative secret, our allowing space for possibilities to occur. Our gift is patience, even if we're forgetful of it's place, yet always our reality is one of potentiality, an emptiness of any single inherent quality for the means of everything else to be, and patiently we abide through every shifting stage and scenario that life provides. 

this too is the art of meditation, the simplicity of sitting with the motion of the mind, thoughts arising, passing, and stillness found throughout it all. To sit long enough and again we find ourselves as capacity, empty of thought,  but not separate from their occurrence, witness to our own stream of subtle essence play through channels of our mind. 

anything may arise, and that's our promise, key to curiosity, life. 

to bring myself to the page, a first beginning, and there is always an emptiness of all save my creative urge to write. My wish isn't to fill the page, but to be fulfilled by its potential, anything may arise, and I am capacity for whatever comes to be expressed. With this I am matched to the page, equal in emptiness and content, seamlessly so, and without fear of creative indifference. Yes, anything may arise and something always does, life surprises me this way, still, and it's this that draws me to the page each morning, eager, curious, an embrace of possibilities still unknown. 

something will arise, life will happen,

and seamless...

we are capacity for it all. 

~

Peace, Eric 

 

Art Of Pausing

Art of pausing:

resisting the urge to add anything, to make my point known for the sake of inclusion, as if I could belong to the world any more than I already do. I believe in the art of pausing, a moment just before my own opinion, and it's the voice of listening, my true self resting in the tone of silence. With this comes my response, so different than any reaction, relaxed and at ease in what to say, write, and behave. It's an easier way of living, for me at least, and for right now. This arrived naturally through some grace of life and years, and every experience that taught me to respond from a more open perspective of just allowing things to simply be for their own sake, without the need of interference. 

this is the pause of discernment, of recognizing any need for my involvement, and a measure of any force applied to situations that call for more ease, patience, and kindness. This is a moment of true tenderness, allowing things to unfold in their own way and pace of life, as if watching a bud just before bloom, patient even in the eagerness of warmth and rain, waiting for the perfect, exact time to blossom. Nature knows the art of pausing, that action takes place even through the stillness of allowing life it's own course. 

it's not a practice though, not a way of mindfulness, but simply the way itself, Tao, the art of living and our natural response. Here's what I know harmony - that it exists in seamless hold to all of my misgivings, my every forceful actions taken, and allows for each seeming mistake without cause for interference, and yet at no time am I abandoned, never left alone to sort through the wake of any storm. I am always instantly restored, held so intimately in this belonging there's no room for anything more than life in its every tender expression. Harmony urges me to pause, it speaks of this belonging, and reminds me that life continues through this way, at ease with ever action. 

the way is perfect, nothing for me to add, and resisting the need to say more...

~

Peace, Eric 

Early Hours

Early hours:

these early hours are cherished, but not more than other moments of the day, just quietly so, as if they belong to only a few and we are joined in a collective hush between us, a reverence of this lingering silence as it slowly gives way to the business of the day.These are the moments that urge me to listen to more subtle sounds now, to hear the world wake yet still retain its silent hold, a reminder that this stillness remains true throughout the day and only seems to fade to greater sounds. Listening, I come to realize that these early hours are my own, more so within me than actual marks of time, available to any moment given pause and allowed to unfold without my rush of interference. 

these are all cherished hours.

it's this pause, sacred really, that gives notice to how seamless it all is, everything, and only seems more evident in the in early hours, how the hushed sounds and slow rise of light urges a more contemplative start to the day. What's noticed now is how everything exists at once, that dawn is not the retiring of night, nor the beginning of a new day, but a display of true becoming, one thing lending itself to the appearance of another, so at ease within its nature that it allows for scenery to change, a gain of prominence of some particular points, and yet never fearing for its own disappearance. 

so it is with all of life, seamless too, and available to observe. Indeed, these are all cherished hours, seasons, all moments of this demonstration. Yet I reserve these early hours for my notice, not at the expense of other times throughout the day, but simply for its ease, that night still retains its quiet hold within me now, light still hours from appearance, sensed, not quite ready to reveal itself beyond a tiny reach of essence. 

these early hours, seamless, reveal my very own nature, I am witness to my dawn as well as darkness settling, two points of my true expression. What's shown is that nothing is ever really hidden, that day becomes only through the slow revolution of the world, light itself is constant, and allows itself shadows to hide, night for resting shade, and perhaps dawn for just these early hours to be gifted, cherished in their arrival. This is what I wake for, quietly listening, touched by first light given to the day. It's the time I give most notice and carry it as a reminder through each moment after. 

every instant is a dawn of it's own,

worthy of this notice. 

~

Peace, Eric 

My Own Dark Woods

My own dark woods: 

lost in my own dark woods, Dante's journey of the soul found real and certain of a struggle, lost, and this place too is full of sin, every mark I've ever missed and now second guess my choices. Dark woods indeed, I wander. 

yet, I'm not ill equipped for this journey - I've journeyed these woods before and now find that perhaps I'm my own best light for navigation, and that very often to be lost is simply the only place to really find out where I am, comfortable in both dark woods and the light upon the edge. It's all true wilderness, mystery's landscape of soul, mind, and too be lost here is no surprise. 

to be found lost is a telling line, and with that my navigation turns more from journey to familiar wander, there's no seeking for an exist from these woods, no demand for friendlier terrain. I am found lost, here, with each step providing a map of my existence. Yes, these dark woods are full of sin, yet all of my own making and of the true meaning to miss their mark, and that as Dante finds through his journey that every sin is misdirected love. To be found lost, truly found now, is to guide this love back to its source, not to the distant edge of light, but here, and to see, finally see, that these sins of self are illusions all. To be found lost is to be at home in mystery, befriended by darkness, and free to wander the vast territory that life offers. 

these dark woods are full of love.

 through this I wander, still lost, but found too exactly where I am, no search for wilderness end, it's my own terrain that I'm exploring. There is light here, guiding, urging me to love every step now taken. These are my own dark woods, familiar in their mystery, home, and this wandering leads nowhere, no real place to go, always here, my own light within the woods, love. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Every Greatest Act

Every greatest acts:

it seems to me that my every greatest acts have been of kindness, that my only true accomplishments are measured through some grace and tenderness given, care. Through those times I somehow set myself aside and merged to a point of holding only one, or perhaps, no one really, but just the presence of love, so deeply expressed there was no room for another. Rare occurrences indeed. Yet I've been blessed with such occasions, fortunate to give myself away to this presence, and simply love as the only best, and last option. To the very end - it's only course available. 

my every greatest acts, have been of love. 

intangible, but only in a certain way, there's a memory of touching my father's shoulder as he died late at night, it was a touch deep to marrow, cutting through our fears and panic so that we might touch as souls for a very last, or maybe first, moment. I feel this even now, more real than memory, a last touch that persists in its presence, cellular now, lasting.

for many years I was a caregiver for my mother, her decline through Alzheimer's gave every opportunity to kindness, reaching past confusion and continuous loss to offer her something that she could know as real, solid. My mother was a teacher, and in this way she continued, her final years teaching me of a deeper grace, showing me the means to love through every loss.

it was her final act of kindness.

so now, in this moment of my own loss, not just grief but without any sure path to move forward - I ask myself for kindness, returning my own favor and love through this uncertainty. It's just another act of love, one more greatest act of kindness, tenderness given to my own wounds now. The role of caregiver has given and taught me so much, and more so, it has revealed a hidden depth, the readiness of love to make its presence known, always eager to appear, available in such subtle ways that only later they're remembered. I am my own caregiver now, and wish to be just as kind, patient, asking for love without fear of my own rejection. My every greatest acts have been of kindness, my only true accomplishment are really without measure, and through it all was love. 

and this is all I have to offer. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Purpose Revealed

Purpose revealed: 

it's my purpose revealed -  and it's just this, whatever's occurring now, that I meant to do only and exactly what this instant calls for, and nothing more is ever asked of me until another moment comes to be. This is my true vision, not to see further to the future but more clearly the present moment that's been given. It's all mystery, with little revealed aside from now. With this, my purpose than...

is to simply be. 

it's a relief to finally come to this realization, to surrender my struggle for a certain sense of reason, as if belonging to some greater point than just this moment could ever bring me peace of mind. This doesn't deny any planning for tomorrow, nor imply that I am past the point of any worry - but that everything occurs now, both plan and concern take place only in the present moment. What is surrendered is the illusion of being driven towards anything that is forever beyond my grasp, letting go of any vague sense that there is more to be accomplished than I am given right now. My purpose is revealed to me by the very next word that's written, it's shown in the pause where words begin to gather, and then again as this writing is continued. It's never more than this, only something other, different - my next sip of coffee is equal in purpose as any following word, and only my judgement tells me otherwise. 

What I am meant to do, truly so, is the easy task of breath, drawing and releasing air, heart beating its intent, every function of cells performing on their own - my purpose is revealed as life, magnificent in expression, beautiful in its grace and form, and nothing more is ever asked of me than this, only this, just the exquisite loveliness of simply being. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Amor Fati

Amor fati, Nietzsche's words not just of acceptance, but of a deeper love for one's fate, a love of where we find ourselves now and every moment after, regardless of circumstance and setting. This may seem a difficult practice for us, perhaps an impossible task for many. Yet Nietzsche isn't asking anything of us that isn't already occurring, nothing that life itself hasn't already accomplished. Our fate is sealed this very moment, and too it's dynamic and changing all the time. It's where we find ourselves, here, with whatever's present, and our only role is simply...

to love ourselves now, 

and through every following moment.

amor fati.

this acceptance is an active affair, not passive in its recognition of what's present, but fully expecting our own participation in changing situations. Life flows with an allowing grace, constant, and with never once pausing to alter our involvement. Everything is immediately accepted, fate captured as a moment, and then continued on. We belong to this flow immersed, and all without consideration of our own readiness to receive whatever course it follows. That's our struggle, our forgetfulness of life and our inclusion, a somehow belief that what this moment holds is wrong and that we really don't belong here. 

we struggle with acceptance.

and to this we offer love -we're not asked for anything beyond tenderness, to not add our own harsh view to this struggle, we're asked for nothing more than to give ourselves to this acceptance even as we seek to change the circumstances of this moment. 

we're asked to simply be.

amor fati.

to love ourselves through whatever life may offer. 

our fate is always, only, 

love. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Original Void

Original void:

not from the original void - but that emptiness became the very substance of the universe and continues even now, a genesis in current view. This too is our own becoming, that the original void is always present and lends itself to form, one thing in continuous creation of itself through every moment. We are the Big Bang in process, not an end result but an event, a verb of constant self creation. 

happening now, now, and always now.

physics tells our story, evolution too, and religion provides a more poetic version of how we came to be. They're all metaphors, even the facts of science only tell us of descriptions, not ultimate truths at all, only what we presently hold as so. Science and religion both seem to miss our current truth, our real story, and that's this very moment, right now, and how we're not distant, separate events of theories and verses of creation, but an actual expression of self creation, life, science and myth happening in this instant.  We are without metaphor, occurring not as story, but as life.

original void is present, emptiness is seen right now as form, seamless. We are an elegant expression of this, an aspect of the continuous whole, and it's always self evident through our every sense - that listening is not separate from sounds heard, our view's not set apart from seer, and that air's felt undetectable in its touch against us, so absolute is its caress. 

we are swimming in reality,

and more so, it's just reality, no real swimmer present, only emptiness in the fullness of its expression, original cause of form, and still seamless in creation. It's this, always this, and everything's included, one reality through every version. The complete story of the universe is told right now, we are both storyteller and demonstration of this tale. 

original void...expressing...

~

Peace, Eric