Working With The Breath

Working with the breath: 

I've been working with the breath lately, pranayama, the yogic concept of breathing purposefully to better utilize the precious life force that animates our lives. It's a beautiful and meaningful practice for me, three tines a day, just a brief period each, devoted solely to the breath, mindful of its flow and energy, and used in a specific way to bring the results I desire. The method I was taught and mainly practice deal is specific for health, my teaching leaving most of the esoteric principles behind in order to focus on a more mainstream approach to help people improve the quality of their lives. 

it's how I teach as well, my wish being to help and heal, to bring a tool that everyone possess to a clients awareness. These are easy practices that produce profound results, quickly so in many cases, easing stress and addressing many immediate health concerns. For me, yoga is mainly working with the breath and teaching meditation, tools of awakening, and yet having an impact on daily living, practical in the benefits they offer. From this ground floor of practice, prana, life essence, begins to flow and flourish, our lives are changed in ways beyond our health, more focused now, we're open to the energy of life. 

working with the breath, even just these few minutes...and prana flows. 

it seems the esoteric is built into the system.

breathwork and meditation can be taken up for the many proven health benefits they provide, they're invaluable tools for many, free to practice, and require no tools other than what our minds and bodies naturally and already provide. But what we'll soon find, especially working with the breath, is that in essence it truly is a divine flow of energy, our life force, connecting us with something that, to me, can only be likened to the soul. The breath is so intimate, a soft brush constant against the lips, often barely even notice, and yet it's essential to our lives. That's why I call it divine, because it's so freely, abundantly given, air always available to be drawn and transformed to the elements of life. Our breath is natural, gifted to us as an easy function, and also offered as a mindful action, connecting us to the essence of what we truly are, energy, motion, the lightness of our being. 

yes, the esoteric is built into the system. 

working with the breath...

we're soon revealed. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Beauty and Value

Beauty and value: 

it's a meaningful world, full of beauty and value, and this is so only because these are measures of our own assessment, qualities that exists intrinsically though every fiber of being. We recognize aspects of ourselves as they're reflected back to us, finding meaning and being witness to our own deep beauty displayed around us. This is our connection to the universe, our function really, that we are to bring these qualities to light and illuminate the world through our awareness.

and the proof is that these qualities are inherent to our existence, features, and that we are beautiful and have priceless value simply because we're alive. Do these qualities exist apart from us? That's the philosophical question, and the truth, as I see it, is that nothing is truly separate from us, that something possess beauty and value because we share ourselves through deep channels of awareness. There's a common thread here, existence, the flow life itself, and if certain qualities appear to us -  then they are shared with all the world. 

in this we we fulfill our role, just being aware, alive, and able to appreciate our surroundings. It's a meaningful world because beauty and value exists within us and we are not separate from whatever's held in our awareness. We bring these qualities to light, evoking them from the shared landscape of existence, aiding the universe in it's continued evolution. That's our role here, as artist, everyone of us, working through a creative medium of deep awareness. We create a world of beauty and value...

simply by being aware. 

and appreciating our existence. 

~

Peace, Eric 

How We Appear

How we appear: 

how we appear - and I don't mean in the eyes of others, nor by our own self-judgement, but that our appearance is an ever changing state of cells composed of elements made of atoms that have existed since first moments after the universe was created. How we appear is a miracle, by all rights matter itself shouldn't have survived the quick expansion of the universe, only energy in its purest form, and yet somehow a small amount of matter survived, a particle filled world exists, everything exactly and precisely in a way that allows for our appearance. 

mainly though...we appear as energy.

our main source of mass is energy, those ancient particles being far too tiny to hold any sort of form completely on their own and that our appearance comes from a dance of sub atomic particles, between quakes and gluons, two elementary particles that offer contrast in their interaction, creating a field of energy that becomes the basis for our bodies.

we are literally a field of energy...

being danced into existence. 

and that's how we appear. 

of course my science here is weak, barely touching upon the intricacies of existence, and truthfully any further explanation is far beyond my ability to explain. I only have a surface understanding of physics, even less of biology and chemistry, all important aspect to know in order to detail our appearance in the world. But what I have available to me is awareness, a laboratory of self-examination, and that I can inquire into the nature of my existence, meditating deeply into a stillness that holds some very important answers. How I appear is indeed a miracle, my own examination leads me towards an emptiness that exists as a field of pure potentiality - this is where that dance of energy takes place, everything appearing right here, however briefly, and yet the energy itself remains. Somehow, there is awareness, and I won't speculate on its essential nature, if its quality is inherent to particles themselves or if it too is danced into existence. I simply don't know, and any answer would only be in defiance to the ineffable mystery that's displayed. Honestly, there's really no need for me to know anything beyond this...

how we appear, our existence, and the fact that we're aware, 

it's a miracle indeed.

~

Peace, Eric 

Of Every Inspiration

Of every inspiration: 

I don't mind waiting for words, not any longer, although at one point it was a source of anxiety for me, facing an empty page without a ready theme, the fear of sitting before the keyboards without a sure sense of inspiration - wanting so badly to write, anything, and yet no words seem freely given, feeling labored and forced to reach the page. Now, I'll simply sit in silence, not exactly waiting, it feels too rich to be described that way, so full of promise and potentiality, that right here, this quiet, spacious moment, is the very source of every inspiration. 

and it's been here all along. 

as words arrive, I write, in their absence I enjoy the silence. 

this puts an end to any anxiety, no more fear of writer's block - as if anything could stop a words arrival, or block the ever present flow of inspiration. Creativity is always here, it's at work right now forming thoughts and causing our bodies to respond. The universe itself is being created at this exact moment, expanding in continuation from its original source, bringing time and space to the needs of its existence. At one point, there was absolutely nothing, simply a void, a primordial promise of every inspiration. This is where I write from, where an artist's will create their work, and even the most mundane task is part of something larger, a process of the universal mind continuing in its evolution. 

right here is the source of every inspiration. 

and that means everything I do is part of this process, writing is absolutely the same as not writing in this sense, of equal value, both serving in some worthy, creative way. To sit in silence, ready for words yet willing to be patience, accepting exactly what the moment offers...

being at the source of every inspiration. 

this is where I write from. 

~

Peace, Eric 

For Listening

For listening: 

mornings are for listening, soft sounds arriving easily to the ears, a long pause of silence that feels so holy in its embrace that I am instantly lost within its hold. This is the morning of pre-dawn, hours until first light, sacred time. My mind is naturally quieter then, more prone to slip effortlessly between thoughts and spend a timeless length there, emerging with subtle insights and inspiration. 

mornings are for listening.

and that's how I approach my writing as well, just moments after meditation, mantra still a faint impression echoing in my mind, vibrating soundless waves of pure creation. This is what I listen to, my own primordial point where these vibrations become thoughts and then forming to a quiet whisper of words. That's my very best writing, so little of my own action required, inspiration given so freely to my receptive mind, everything taking place in these quiet, holy hours.

it's a time meant for listening. 

and that's how writing happens, or at least the lyrical prose that holds my attention - these are words that are heard, deeply so, not my own creation, and yet I'm not separate from the source of their creation. It's a seamless process of inspiration and I have no real idea how it all occurs. I'm just happy to find that I belong here, and luckier still to be part of this magic, that I stumbled to these hours and gave myself the time to simple sit, doing nothing but the sacred art of listening. 

that's what these hours are meant for. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Our True Posture

Our true posture:

of asana, our true posture -that it's found here, and only through the body. That's the real work of yoga, grounding us to the present moment experience, being rooted to spirit exactly where and as we are. It's not about transformation, we never become something that isn't already in existence, each asana sinks us deeper into reality, giving the experience of being fully engaged as the body, entwined with soul, and with every cell rejoicing in this moment of being alive. 

that's our true posture.

it's who we are. 

that's the real essence of yoga, of the asanas, not just mere exercise, but to root us deeply in the experience of having a body, that's it's our home and in no way removed from the larger body of earth and air. Our true posture is simply the body, and if we explore this, settling into its reality, we come to know ourselves as a much greater experience than ever imagined before. Every asana has this potential, offering us an avenue of exploring this reality, following breath our to it's  furthest expansion as it disappears to thinnest air, feeling the earth extend beneath us as a single reach of sacred ground - and no point are we removed from any of this, it's the valid experience of our reality of a larger body. 

our true posture. 

my own practice is just a few asanas each session, intuitively chosen within the moment, but purposely so, allowing the native wisdom of my body to dictate the movement that it needs. There is deep listening here, my larger body of earth and air expressing their desire. What I listen to is motion all the way to the point of pause, stillness, and again motion, hearing the seamless trade between the two until it fades to the single note of its existence. 

one thing. 

that's the art of yoga, the reality of our true posture...

we're seamless. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Any Great Consequence

Any great consequence: 

what I want to do is relax and approach the page without concern for words, allowing inspiration to find me on its own. I am not a writer of any great consequence, this isn't said with with any sense of self-humility, I'm not being humble, my words are primarily for myself alone, and sharing is part of the art, how it becomes something of consequence and value. But the practice itself is simply part of my morning routine, seamlessly flowing from my meditation cushion to desk with only a break for my single cup of coffee, a ritual that prepares me for my writing. 

arriving to the page, no anxiety, relaxed, words will find me here, they always do, and until than I'm willing to sit, coffee at hand, world embraced in in the soft hush of early morning. I love this time of the day, it's holy, truly so, meant for prayer and writing, invoking the sacred presence of these hours to fill me and through this my hands will type whatever words wish to be written. 

it's that simple, easy, and it's why I suffer no anxiety or writers block, placing little value to my role here, being of less consequence as a writer and more importance as a listening presence, willing to be patient and enjoy the silence before the arrival of a single word. What I find is that it's all a process, every bit of it, and to hold myself as any great consequence above the other rituals, and more importantly, the silence of the morning - would create an imbalance of design, with everything being is perfect as it is, intricate in place as well as their belonging. I find myself happy where I am...

without any great consequence,

but belonging just the same. 

valued. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Place to Start

Place to start: 

it started as wanting to help people physically, to be more fit, stronger and more flexible, lose some weight if that was an issue, my own passion for fitness became my means of living. I enjoyed it for many years and helped everyone from competitive athletes to ordinary just looking to stay active people reach their fitness goals. It never quite felt like a career though, although I was happy and it was fulfilling to see people enjoying a higher quality of life, physically at least, and often emotionally as well. Yet I always wished that I could offer something more, a deeper healing, reaching a true sense of peace and joy beyond the mere physical. Of course it's all connected and often times the body is the place to start, sometime it's the only place - as being pain free and happy in our bodies is no small achievement. 

what I didn't realize was how this was really a metaphor for my own journey, that I was moving beyond the familiarity of using my own body to reach a sense of fulfillment, and by extension helping others to do the same. It was time to shift priorities, still holding the body as sacred, but now turning inwards, exploring means of deeper expressions than the physical alone. Meditation has been essential to my journey, decades long commitment equal to anything else I hold as dear. It's what I wanted to offer others, believing that it might be an even better place to start, or at least along side of any other training or activity, body and soul being explored and healed together. I began to think of this as a more unique form of yoga, with every form of motion being a true asana. 

and more subtle now, I find the place to start is with the breath, prana, such a soft form of energy to be explored. This is the point of all connections, from spirit inspired to form, everything created from here, the unmanifest coming to existence as the world. The breath is the place to start, truly so it seems, and from here we address all other concerns. 

it all connects from breathing...

and everything starts from here. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Our Seat

Our seat: 

asana is the third limb of yoga, in Sanskrit it simply means taking our seat, and the Yoga Sutra's describe this as establishing a steady and comfortable position for meditation. The practice of asanas, Hatha yoga, is typically the yoga we're most familiar with, it's what we think of whenever yoga is mention, it's classes we attend, and the common image in our minds. Yet the only actual instructions offered in Patanjali's Yoga Sutra's is to make every asana steady and comfortable, that's it, the ancient text that literally defines yoga tells us precious little of the practice of its most popular limb. 

or so it seems. 

taking our seat is more than just a physical expression, it's establishing ourselves in stillness while being amidst in motion, balancing, adjusting to the winds that life blows in our direction. Our stance is our asana - physically it's how we move our bodies, flexible and with ease, emotionally it's the freedom we allow our every expression, that grief is just as freely known as joy, every emotion is valid in its appearance. We take our seat through the positions that we hold in life, our generosity and care, a willingness to serve others and act with true compassion. Spiritually our seat is simply awareness, being established as capacity for the appearance of the world, seamless, and that there is no practice to attain this - it's what we are in our innermost experience. 

again we are urged to make our seat steady and comfortable, asanas should be an expression of balance, trusting ourselves through the grace and poise of every moment, natural, and being at ease with the possibility of a fall. Our asanas make us fearless, unafraid of what only seems a failure, but really just an opportunity to reestablish ourselves in any moment, through whatever life offers, once more gaining the balance of our true essential pose. That's the real practice of asanas, taking our seat throughout every moment of our lives, balancing with steadiness and comfort even through the difficult times, falling, failing, and smiling with the joy of being alive and gifted with this practice. 

taking our seat as life.

~

Peace, Eric 

Flow of Words

Flow of words: 

usually it's just after meditation, the sun still hours away from morning, everything settled, quiet, and a faint idea will then whisper through my mind, subtle, barely even noticed - but I know what I will write of now, a themes been given to me, inspiration has arrived with a hint of these first few words. From this point on it's simply a matter of trusting intuition, knowing that there's a pathway from this beginning to a satisfying conclusion and that an easy flow of words will take me there. 

it never seems to fail. 

that's mainly how I write, an hours worth of work at best, an easy flow of words, or I simply wait in silence, listening to absolutely nothing until a sound arrives, noting the gentle parting of silence as it allows the earliest songs of morning, a single bird note given to the air, a distant car in travel, but silence always quickly returns at this hour - and with it I often find the flow of words renewed. 

it's an easy process, thoroughly enjoyable, although it hasn't always been this way. There used to be a struggle, fairly often as I remember, as everything I wrote had to be deeply profound, meaningful, and with spiritual significance. Or so I then believed. I've relaxed quite a bit now, with writing simply being an extension of my meditation time, from silence and vibration of mantra to the use words of words across my still quiet mind. Nothing meaningful has to be written, not this morning at least, and what I hope for is to leave just a few words that evoke...something...perhaps maybe a lingering sense of morning hours, mostly silent, peaceful, and the easy flow of words given to its description. 

most mornings, that's enough for me. 

~

Peace, Eric 

All I See is Brahman

All I see is Brahman: 

all I see is Brahman, reality, and it's taking place all around me, more so, it's my very own existence, exactly and only what I truly am right now. I use this term because I love it, beautifully described as the cosmic principle, it's that which never changes and causes everything to change, the single binding agent that holds every particle together, forming atoms and molecules and on to the very cells of our bodies. We are Brahman, nothing else is possible. 

and for me, this is as much science as spiritual, when the energetic structure of universe is described through quantum terms of vibrations, the pulsation of strings causing the existence and attractions of particles, my mind turns towards the ineffable, mystery, Brahman. I see the word more as descriptive, not an explanation, but as a useful reminder to leave concepts behind and just experience the moment itself, reality as it is, and without need of any deeper understanding other than what is offered right now. I experience Brahman, and by that I mean reality, all of it, every quantum principle, the chemical reaction that gives rise to thoughts and the biology of my body that allows for their expression. These all come together, bound by the singularity of Brahman, for this very moment of my existence. 

call it what you will. 

it's really, only, the experience of life. 

through meditation, inquiry, even the briefest stillness of my mind, I relax, resting in the easiness of simply being what I truly am. It's beyond concepts and description, it's a reality that carries over to the rest of my day, providing insights and further inspiration. Brahman is a story, every story really, told through the reality of appearance as well as the capacity of our surroundings. 

when I look, wherever I glance...

all I see is Brahman.

~

Peace, Eric

Real Power

Real power: 

it's the last niyama, Isvara Pranidhana, and it urges our surrender, asking us to recognize that we belong fully to something larger than ourselves alone, allowing the deep intimacy of reality to take over the true function of our lives. That's a lot to ask for, placing our trust in mystery, giving away the only sense of real power that we seem to have - and all for the sake of yoga? Most of us balk at this idea, I certainly did, especially as I dove into yoga with a passion to discover for myself what real power I might have, not to be controlled by any concept of a god, but to be liberated from all concepts once and for all. Yet what I've discovered since is the real power of surrender, that only by giving everything away, all of my beliefs and concepts of  power, do I gain any measure of liberation, the true freedom of knowing I control absolutely nothing at all...

that I'm already surrendered. 

and have no power of my own. 

of course this flies in the face of all we're ever taught to believe in, even the Judeo-Christian sense of God is one that grants us free-will and the ability to control our lives. From early on we're indoctrinated with the belief that we're in charge of every aspect of life, from health to career, marriage and children, all of it, gaining praise and taking fault for every success and failures. 

there's no place for surrender here. 

and that's why Isvara Pranidhana is the last of the niyamas, waiting until there's a glimpse of larger power, a force of life that we're intimately involved in. That's what we surrender to, and in truth it's nothing other than ourselves revealed in real form - reality. 

we surrender to reality. 

this isn't an action that we take on, it's nothing that we do - it's more of an acceptance of what already is, a relaxed sigh that our quest to control every aspect of our lives is truly over, smiling, if not outright laughing at the the notion that we once believed we had real power. Isvara Pranidhana waits until we're ready, working with the previous suggestions of the yamas and niyamas yoga ethics, loosening the mental grip of our illusion of control. We catch a glimpse of true power through them all, a hint of our surrender, and then we finally reach the point of seeing...

there is nothing to control, no one with any true sense of control - there's just life, reality, happening completely on its own, and we're intimately involved with its flow, our real power is of belonging, and this is all that we surrender to...

only what we already and always are. 

life.

~

Peace, Eric 

What I do

What I do: 

what I do is write, easy enough, simple really, and most especially as I have no idea as the what the very next word might be, or when inspiration will appear, even creativity itself is a mystery. My role is to write what arrives to me, arranging words on a screen until they please me in their structure and flow. None of the hard stuff is my doing, all of it's a gift, literally handed to my mind, every thought and word somehow finds its way to me. 

I try not to take any of this for granted. 

what I do is court this mystery, invoking inspiration to appear through rituals of meditation, a single cup of coffee, waking early in the morning to better hear the distinct sound of its arrival. My role is to be perfectly clear, or as close as I'm able, as I want words to find me as empty as any page, being a willing capacity to hold the meaning that they offer. That's all any writer does, each unique in their way, courting mystery to arrive and speak in a voice that they recognize as their own. 

and of course it's so often taken for granted. 

an artist is so intimate with mystery that it's easy to lay claim to what's been created, believing that it all appears completely from the mind, that we somehow willed each word to the page, guiding it here through some creative process special to them alone. It's easy to believe, easier still for the ego to claim itself as the author here, responsible for the magic of these words. And that's it really, magic, that words appear from the grace of inspiration, perhaps the process is a chemical reaction of the brain, neurons firing, thoughts gaining a subtle energetic form - but how all of this lends itself to poetry, a single line drawn, or a brushstroke laid on canvas, that's the mystery of it all...

that's grace. 

I wish to take done of this for granted. 

and that's the ritual for me, recognizing what a gift this is, each word, my time committed to writing, the urge to wake so early, sitting patiently for inspiration to appear, making my space inviting, holy, so that words will wish to find me here. What I do is wait, filling time with rituals until there's nothing else to do but surrender myself to the process of receiving, that I am now ready for the grace of inspiration, having promised that I'll take done of this for granted. 

but of course I sometimes do. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Looming

Looming: 

some mornings used to start with what seemed a looming emptiness, having no ideas or themes to work with, just a wait for inspiration to whisper some sort of a beginning and then to fill the page with words. This used to be a cause of some slight anxiety, a writer's dread of not being able to fulfill a morning's worth of work. But no longer now, I see emptiness differently, more promising, and I'm willing to wait for inspiration's whisper, or even accept what few words might be given and call it finished for the day.  My writing is a practice, the same as meditation really, not meant to be perfected, only creative work that's crafted through the presence of silence...it seems that emptiness is filled with promise. 

and inspiration is always present.

what once seemed looming has now been transformed, or really, it's my own thoughts that have changed in this regard, emptiness itself has always been the same, with both anxiety and anticipation being equal in its hold. I have no idea what caused this transformation, maybe age and years of working through silence and finally surrendering an identity of a writer. It was never emptiness that loomed, but only my own sense of incompleteness transferred to the page. 

what's different now? 

it is hard to say, or at least to put accurately into words - and with this I again surrender my art to practice, to just do my best to offer some sort of description and leave the words behind to fill what was once an empty page, my morning's work completed. My best guess is that I simply grew tired of having to depend on thoughts and words to ease that morning dread, relying on inspiration to supply my self-worth as an artist, and that my best and only option was to just allow myself to be incomplete. The thing is, there's no true sense of self that will ever be completed, no finished product of an artist or work of art. It's all an ongoing process, beingness, emptiness in self creation with a willingness to begin again each morning. That's the dread that loomed before me, my own unfinished work was given a deadline and judged by its completion. And of course I'll always fail, I'm meant to fail, at least until that very moment of my surrender - emptiness is looming as my own realization, that's what's different now, seeing this, not being afraid to be broken, seemingly incomplete, simply allowing myself to be exactly as I am, however that might be in any given moment. 

this is where inspiration finds me, right here, every morning, incomplete in all but my willingness to be continued....and that's what looms before me. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Deeply Committed

Deeply committed: 

I take writing seriously, being deeply committed to my time of practice, working through time of inspiration as well as those rare moments when words struggle to appear. Writing is a priority to me, equally important as air, water, food. Emotionally, and spiritually, I thrive when engaged in this creative pursuit. It's my most important practice - 

and yet....

whatever topic or theme is of a concern, it's an interest, holding my curiosity or momentary fascination. I am not deeply committed to these words, nor convinced that I'm writing an absolute truth, nor anything of great importance. I want my practice to be flexible, reflecting a sense of openness, that I write about today can easily be contradicted by my words tomorrow. 

writing is a passion and a practice, and for me that means I'm deeply committed to whatever it is I'm expressing now, more truly that I'm trying out ideas, exploring how their theme fits my frame of mind as well as on the page. I am not so committed to beliefs and ideas, not in the same way I am with writing, or even my other long held practices of yoga and meditation. Almost everything I write about is an idea, and I am always ready for it's surrender, holding each one lightly, loosely in my mental grip. It's the writing itself that's important. 

of course I write about my interest, things that currently hold my fascination, or tug my curiosity, and some I have a deep passion for and become a consistent theme of mine. But none of them are to be taken seriously, at least not to the extent of believing them to be as important as the actual writing is to me. That's what I'm really sharing here, and I consider it a divine expression, literally a product of pure imagination, words somehow materialized from the thin air of my mind. Writing is a gift, and a skill to be developed, practiced, and then shared in the hope that in someway it might inspire others, not so much with the idea that's written - but that they too might have an urge to share their own divine expression, whatever it might be, words, a drawing, perhaps something totally unique and never before seen. That's my purpose here, the only real meaning to my words...

and deeply committed to this sharing. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Even Earlier

Even earlier: 

lately, I have to wake up even earlier than usual to catch a few soft moments of quiet before the day begins with noise. There's just enough time to meditate and prepare my coffee, maybe write just a word or two in the brief and precious silence of the morning. I live with someone who is attached to sound, television on first upon rising, loud, repeats of the same shows they've watched for years. It's a recent thing for him, waking up so early, and for a length of time I've had these hours left alone, undisturbed, taking for granted the stillness that blankets the house so softly. 

so I wake even earlier now, catching a head start on the quietness the morning offers. Yet I find that I still miss the silence of the predawn hours, the entire stretch of time from my waking to that first hint of light to touch the sky. Those are sacred hours, holy in every tradition, and not meant to be disturbed with unnecessary sound. I often find myself wondering why anyone would wish to disturb this time, it's such a profound energy that seems to be absorbed completely to the bone, urging both mind and body to be still, and further, deeper, the soul stirs from its long slumber, joyfully awakening in these quiet hours. I'm at a lost as to how anyone could miss this alchemical effect of silence, and I suspect that perhaps it isn't lost on anyone, not really, and this it  explains the quickness of turning on sound, distracting oneself from being confronted by the holiness of a silent morning. 

not everyone is ready for a quiet mind. 

it took me years to be ready for this as well, my morning meditation often put off until I had a proper start to my day, readying myself  with my own distractions. Silence does indeed confront you, overwhelming in its embrace, scary in that it feels like a possibility that it will erase us completely so, nothing left but the loneliness of our true presence. With just a hint of this at first, and I found myself curious, somehow growing less afraid of what might be found within the depth of silence Waking even earlier, well before any distraction had a chance to catch hold - and I gave myself entirely to these hours, my fear replaced with a growing sense of love, a suspicion that I belonged here, fully, and that this presence is my true and only home. 

it now seems that I hoard these hours, guarding their holiness, protecting the silence of my own soul and mind. But of course I don't really have to, these are my qualities, ours, and the morning is just our true reflection. Silence simply embraces every sound, nothing excluded, returning exactly to it's original peace, forever undisturbed. That's the secret that the morning offers - reality, the soft truth of our acceptance, a sure sense that everything belongs after all. 

nothing really has to be guarded...

yet still, 

I find myself waking even earlier than before. 

~

Peace, Eric 

At First Glance

At first glance: 

what I most love is the richness and complexities of the terms, how the meaning is never what it seems at first glance or even after a longer period of study, not completely so, it's as if the message is too subtle to be read and must be given a lifetime of contemplation, or perhaps more so, expressed through our commitment to fully live its every revelation. That's the mystery of the yamas and niyamas, not being merely a code of ethics or personal morals to base our lives around, no, there's something deeper here, a reasoning beyond mere rules of conduct - these are secrets of self-realization, concepts that continue to expand through consciousness until we truly understand exactly who we are. 

it's never what it seems at first glance. 

santosha is a Sanskrit word that means contentment, or satisfaction, that's the literal definition and it's pretty straightforward in what it's asking, accepting our present situation, being content with what we have and continuously striving to have more. Yet that's only at first glance, deeper, on a more subtle level, we're being asked to explore the nature of our needs, to discover the truth of what we wish for, and if our most cherished dreams will really make us happier once achieved. We're not told to abandon anything, to surrender our wishes for a better world - again, the yamas and niyamas are simply guidelines, suggestions, and that's the importance of giving them a deep study. 

they're never what they seem at first glance...

nor even after. 

these suggestions are meant to be lived, 

explored through the process of a lifetime.

santosha sees the complete picture, that being content means our dreams, and yes, their fulfillment, belong here, being part of the complexity of the whole. Nothing is really off limits, we're not restrained by these guidelines at all. We're only asked to explore things a bit more deeply, tracing our desires to their root cause and seeing of they're truly what we're wishing for. Santosha isn't mere contentment, it's not accepting things as they are without questioning. It's so much more dynamic, deeper, being content with how things appear, yet knowing that conditions are never what they seem at first glance, placing our faith in the motion of the world and it's ever changing, fluid nature. 

santosha covers it all, our dreams and striving for their fulfillment, our struggles to improve as well as accepting ourselves exactly as we are. What we're asked for is to be content with motion, change, and not base our happiness or sorrow on anything that isn't of our true nature. Santosha takes us to the root cause of our joy and suffering, and further still - to the purity and openness of our existence. Contentment is our true and real nature because everything belongs, nothing is out of order, misplaced, or beyond its time. There's only this moment of our perfect acceptance...

and it's never as it seems at first glance. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Yamas and Niyamas

Yamas and niyamas: 

both the yamas and the niyamas are seamless in their practice, flowing together in a way that they almost seem indistinguishable from each other in the value that they offer - it's the process itself that's really measured, how observing them brings an overall sense of peace to our lives, we become happier, developing a deeper view as to the meaning of the world. 

we see how our lives unfold with a bit more clarity now. 

yes, this is an entire practice, the yamas and niyamas offering ten guidelines, suggestions for us to follow, and each one is part of a seamless whole, again with each being equal in their value. But it does seem that sometimes we find ourselves with a preference, a certain practice might call to us above the others. Or perhaps over time we gain an interest in deepening an aspect of our practice, an intuitive sense on where we need to focus. For me, I've always been fascinated with ahimsa, having a quality of such deep peace that others are able to relax and be at ease simply by being nearby. It's a healing presence, cultivated by the practice of simply not wishing harm to anyone or anything, every life sacred, and being mindful even of our own inner conflicts and self critique, recognizing our true worth and value. In this way we see how our practice affects others, that truly we don't do this for ourselves alone, healing takes place within and then unfolds to touch the world. 

cultivating ahimsa, favoring it when needed...we heal. 

and right now, the fifth yama seems to especially call to me, aparigraha, non-possessiveness. There's so much freedom offered in the practice, a continuous letting go of all that appears even in the very moment that I accept its presence. There's magic here, being so free so, everything surrendered in the same precious moment that they're most cherished. The truth is that is already and always happening, and that the practice of aparigraha is just a reminder that this is so. That's the beauty of the yamas and niyamas, they ask nothing if us that isn't of our best interest, they're not habits but simply a mindful practice of observing the reality of each moment. In this way we flow with their availability, sensing how they seamlessly connect, cultivating one in what might seem a preference but deeply knowing that they all belong together. 

both the yamas and niyamas are seamless in their practice. 

~

Peace, Eric 

A Mere Suggestion

A mere suggestion: 

what yoga offers, through its deepest and most subtle teachings, is freedom, a true realization of our independence of spirit and mind - even the asanas and pranayama are designed to help the body be strong and free of illness and disease. This is the importance of seeing the full spectrum of yoga, everything it offers from the beginning ethical guidelines all the way to the final goal of deep meditation. It's a complete school of education on living our lives to the fullest capacity of being human. 

and all of it a mere suggestion. 

there are no demands made with yoga, no punishment, nor is there sin of any kind. Yoga is similar to Buddhism in this way, in fact the too are intimately related in thought and origin. Both offer a path of liberation, a practice, meant to free us from the needless suffering of our mistaken belief systems. They simply show us a way to move forward through a life that holds no small degree of hardship and sorrow, not promising us anything other the benefits of our effort. The practice is just a mere suggestion, asking us only to try a single step along a well tread, ancient path of wisdom and freedom. 

for me, the beauty of yoga is that it's based on mere suggestions, that if we follow the guidelines of its ethical teachings, just to the best we're able, we'll be happier, more fulfilled, and perhaps most importantly, we will aid other people through their sorrows. The asanas too simply suggest that if we move in a certain way, regularly, our bodies will be more supple, stronger, energetic and free of disease. This leads us to meditation, a suggestion that our minds can know a deeper sense of reality, relaxed, responsive to the shifting motion of the world. Meditation is offering us freedom from a distracted, thought-filled mind, one that clings to illusions even in the face of what reality shows. 

yoga is the mere suggestion of our freedom. 

and it offers us a way, a path. 

none of this is rigid, it's a lifestyle of consideration, observing choices, surrendering long cherished view points and being open to new ideas. Practice doesn't demand perfection, nor even adherence, only awareness and best effort in pivotal moments of our choices. The path of yoga is a mere suggestion, nothing more...

and life proceeds from here. 

~

Peace, Eric  

Niyamas

the second limb of yoga are the niyamas and they flow seamlessly from the yamas, the first limb that deal mainly with our social interactions. What we arrive to now is more personal in its nature, an inner observance of our own conduct and what many consider to be the core practice of our yoga. This is really about our inner relationship with our essential self, while the yamas focused in how we related to the world - and at a certain point we find how this all blends together, the intimacy of self and world. That's the true and pure spirit and practice of yoga, the realization of this union. 

again, like the yamas, there are five niyamas to our practice, and just as before these are guidelines, suggestions and to be undertaken with a certain grace and understanding. We are not meant to approach any of our practice with a rigid sense of adherence, that everything must be perfected in the shortest time possible, holding ourselves to an impossible standard. These are suggestions that meant only to lead us to a greater peace of mind, a true and lasting happiness and realization of joy, and to approach them with anything less than a gentle and easy enthusiasm simply leads us astray from our original intention. 

it's all meant to be approached with joy.

practiced with a sense of love. 

and with this we come to the five niyamas - 

Saucha: which is purity, cleanliness of body, mind, and spirit. 

Santosha: is to be content, practicing non-judgement with ourselves and our practice, as well as with others, it's just a gentle way of being, abiding in our true nature. 

Tapas: and here is perhaps my favorite, this is where we commit fully to our practice, having a burning enthusiasm for our approach to what we do, a passion for what we consider essential to our lives, such as art, meditation, or a physical expression such as asanas, or some other form of movement. We give ourselves full to the motion. 

Svadhyaya: self reflection, studying our inner world with great observation, bringing light to our own pure aware nature. This could also be the practice any sort of inquiry, simply turning inwards at any odd moment of the day to reflect directly upon whatever's happening now and residing in it's flow. 

Ishvara pranidhana: our last niyama, surrendering to ourselves, recognizing our highest nature is tied to life itself and it's eternal flow. We could call this turning to God, or just as easily letting go of our personal control, ego, and accepting ourselves as connected to a higher power. I prefer to think of this as simply surrendering to life, allowing myself to relinquish the need of always being in control. 

and there are the five niyamas, guidelines, suggestions really for an easy way to live. What they offer us is an alternative from a more selfish approach to life, observances that place a focus on our inner-world experiences and less so on what the modern world emphasizes as important. These niyamas are meant to be approached quietly, a personal practice that leads to contentment, joy, and a deep appreciation for our lives. Like all yoga, it's a subtle practice, deepening over time, eventually finding ourselves seamlessly connected to the world. That our practice is indeed...

simply our connection. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Of Deep Consideration

Of deep consideration: 

it's a life of deep consideration, thoughtful in my care for others, mindful of my actions and how they might affect the world. Really, this is quite simple, it's not an overt measure of giving to the point that my own life is taken over by the task, but just the small thoughts of good will to those I interact with daily, courteous favors to my friends and neighbors, a smile to a stranger. This naturally begins to extend to some larger efforts, how my diet reflects my care for animals and the well-being of the planet, the politicians I choose to vote for and how they'll shape the policies that best respect my values. Small things mostly, choices that I never once notices at a past point of my life, and yet now they seem to cross my mind so often, truly caring for the sake of others.

a life of deep consideration. 

this seems to extend seamlessly and easily from my meditation cushion, even from my yoga practice, an increased mindfulness to the concern of people, animals, the planet, a growing wish to be of deeper service to the world. It's just something that has happened, happening really, my heart expands in this desire to somehow ease the suffering of others, even if only by a caring smile. 

these are all little things, small efforts and their true effects mostly go unmeasured. I'll never know if a stranger appreciates my offered smile, or if a neighbor notices some kind gesture. It doesn't really matter, living a life of deep consideration is its own reward, being an extension of my heart, a pathway for me to follow that eases my own sorrow and despair. To be of service, small ways, teaching meditation, listening to the concern of others, simply opening my heart to the suffering of the world - that's what calls me now, serving quietly, barely noticed even by my own observation. 

it's a life of consideration...not just my own, but ours, all of us entwined by a shared sense of belonging here, recognizing ourselves as a reflection of even the smallest creature found, that every life has the greatest of value. This isn't something that we do, it's not a practice really, but simply what we are, caring by our very nature, even if it's so often forgotten or brushed aside in our reach for what we think has a greater value. At some point though, and we never know exactly when, everything changes, and if we're fortunate, mindful, we begin to notice that we're called for a larger services...

even if it's just a quest life of deep consideration. 

~

Peace, Eric 

A Continuous Letting Go

A continuous letting go: 

the misconception is that surrender is something we do, that it's just another willful act but this time one of defeat or last resort. Yet the truth is the our entire life is a continuous letting go, nothing about us is ever constantly lasting, at least not in any meaningful way - and it's through this process we that we find ourselves evolving, becoming versions of versions of our essential point of being. 

life is always giving itself way.

a continuous letting go.

and in this way we are eternal.

by this I don't mean to imply that there is some single entity that continues onward through these changes, a lasting self that survives through endless cycles of surrender. It's the very absence of this rigid sense of self that allows to continue as life, its bare essence, flowing from this appearance to yet another beautiful appearance, a simple rearrangement of our form.

in other words...a continuous letting go. 

and also a becoming. 

it's truly one thing.

with this realization we can flow through life with perhaps a bit more ease, not grasping so tightly to that which is already changing, knowing that in any surrender we are just evolving to another version of our infinite possibilities of being. We are simply being rearranged. Mindful surrender is a form of art really, it's the medium of giving attention to the subtle motion of our lives, noting this continuous letting go and meeting it with courage and compassion. We're all artist in this way, gaining in skill as life goes on, indeed, that it's an endless practice. 

a continuous letting go.

~

Peace, Eric 

Yamas

Yamas: 

they're the yamas, ethical codes offered through the practice of yoga, and I love the fact that these are considered goals, suggestions really, for a more peaceful and practical way to live. There is no punishment for failure to adhere to these ethical rules, or at least not by the standards offered by many religions. The yamas are a personal choice of conduct, suggested for our benefit and the means to keep ourselves aligned with an inner sense of peace. Yoga is the path of their fulfillment, eight limbs of practice, every aspect of our lives covered these gentle suggestions. 

it's begins with our social order, how we conduct ourselves with others in the world, rightful living might be the best description for this practice. By using the term rightful it might seem to imply that there's a wrong way of living and that's not what's meant at all - only that through observance to these suggestions our lives, and the lives of others in our community, will be happier, more fulfilled, and conducting ourselves with a contented peace. We would have a more enlightened society. 

and it would happen simply by following these suggestions, starting first with our own peace of mind, our happiness and how we relate to others. The burden isn't on society to change, as yoga sees it, there is no society apart from individuals and it's up to each of us to find away to live together for the benefit of the whole, that a society depends entirely on our personal happiness and peace of mind. In this view, there's no burden here at all, we follow these suggestions for a better way to live. 

with suggestions, goals, there really is no failure, only a restart towards our personal fulfillment, simply re-establishing ourselves towards a greater happiness. That's important to keep in mind, these aren't commandments, they're offered through ages of trial and error, that through best effort to follow them we find ourselves and our community happier and more cohesive, everyone acting with a bit more care and concern for each other. If we act in opposite to these values, we suffer for our poor choices, our lives reflect their absence in glaring defects of greed, violence, and little concern for others or the greater environment at large. We lack compassion, true compassion of wishing the best for others. 

these are the yamas, again, only suggestions, goals for us to reach for and there's standard of perfection to reach for - we just live our lives as best we're able, keeping these ethical codes in mind: 

Ahisma - nonviolence

Satya - truthfulness

Asteya - not stealing

Brahmacharya - sexual maturity and respect 

Aparigraha - non- possessiveness, non attachment 

those are the main five, along with five more suggestions that fall into subcategories, important, and I'll mention them here in their English terms for our consideration: patience and forgiveness, fortitude, compassion, sincerity, mindfulness of diet. These last five become evident in the exploration and practice of the first five suggestion, they're layered, as one point unfold within our lives the others become apparent too, a path within a path within a path, and seamlessly so, each revealed as aspects of the others. There are subtle layers involved here, any one of these suggestion could be explored and show us that it contains the truth of what the others offer, each one is complete, holistic, and meant to lead us to a deeper contemplation of our lives. 

again, they're suggestions, only meant to guide. 

but my own life is testament to their guidance, I'm happier when I keep these goals in mind, more content, and my concern for others grows. 

with that in mind, I write this for my own sake as well as wish for others, 

may you each be happy and at peace. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Powerful indeed

Powerful indeed: 

it's true, the new age maxim that thoughts creates our reality is absolutely true, and yet not quite in the way that's so often been used to sell a book or program on the law of attraction, it's not a magical means of wish fulfillment and turning our dreams to reality. Not quite. Of course thoughts are powerful indeed and they certainly do shape the reality of our lives. Thoughts are the bedrock of our beliefs on which we act upon, how we view the world and respond to others. A single thought that is held for a length of time can divide us by race or where we come from, lending itself to a belief that others are different than us in dangerous ways and must be always treated as such. That's a powerful thought, near magic in the tragedies it's caused and the reality its created for so many. Of course it could just as easily be reversed, our thoughts could be examined and tested, we could engage in inquiry to find if these long held beliefs hinder or heal, divide or bring us closer as a people. Answering these questions could truly change the world. 

thoughts are powerful indeed. 

as the Buddha said, we are shaped by our thoughts, becoming what we think, and so with this reality is shaded by how we view the world. Yet the essence of the world remains unchanged, empty of any inherent meaning of its own, always existing free of our opinions. The reality we create through thoughts and our beliefs is only an illusion, it's simply how we view the world, and not exactly how things truly are. Reality itself is free of our illusions. 

thoughts are powerful indeed, and  yet reality remains unchanged by our opinions. 

and that's the magic, right there, the inherent emptiness of things, that we are literally defining our world as we go along and have the true power to create a place of joy and beauty. This is the value of inquiry and meditation, developing what the Buddha called the right view, to see and understand things as they really are, being free of our thought, unhindered by beliefs. 

thoughts are powerful indeed,

and yet reality remains unchanged.

empty of our opinions. 

free of all illusions. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Pranayama

Pranayama: 

regular breathwork, pranayama in Sanskrit and yogic terms, has been a great blessing to me through the years and never more so than now as I've worked throw some troubling times. Pranayama is a system of breathing techniques meant to harness what yogis believe to be is the universal energy of prana. It's an ancient yogic practice used to aid moving into asanas and to help prepare the mind for deeper meditation. These breathing techniques are so valuable and wide ranging in their use that they are categorized as the fourth limb of ashtanga yoga, considered vital to the more advance stages of realization. More recently modern science has become involved with the medical community realizing the healing power offered through the use of these ancient breathing techniques. They are definitely worth exploring for their many benefits ranging from stress reduction, lowering blood pressure, energizing the mind and body, bolstering the immune system, and a host of other means of healing. 

it's a daily tool for me and has been so for many years. 

prana is the vital force that permeates reality, it's believed to have originated from the sun and to be the energy that holds all of the elements together. More importantly, it's what distinguishes life from inanimate objects, it's the breath, the vitality of its motion that is the cause for us to be alive. Of course none of this need to be believed to gain the many benefits of pranayama, it's a healing system independent of these ancient beliefs and is available for anyone to try. 

again, for me, they've been a blessing. 

throughout my day I have several formal pranayama practices, just before my morning and afternoon meditation sessions, helping me to relax, deepening my practice. As well I take advantage of these tools as my day calls for, an immediate aid for stress reduction, to bolster energy and then later as a means to improve the quality of my sleep. The breath is always available for notice, never straying far from my attention, and just by the simple technique of following its path I am put immediately at ease. It's that powerful. There's no need to be as involved as I've described to take advantage of this practice, a few minutes of mindful breathing throughout the day will offer many benefits, or taking a breathing break and using a specif technique to address an issue is a powerful tool for healing. Most importantly, pranayama is ours to be used at anytime, our birthright, freely given to enhance the quality of our lives. 

it's a blessing, a healing, meant for us all. 

~

Peace, Eric 

It's That Simple

It's that simple: 

consciousness is a topic I return to often, contemplating it, writing on the subject, reading every article and book that comes my way. It's fascinating, and all the more so because it's being constantly demonstrated, expressed through every fiber of my existence. What truly I am, in essence, is consciousness. It's that simple. Yet there's an ongoing debate on this issue, the origin of consciousness, is it ours exclusively or does it permeate the universe itself - and science and philosophers trade their theories endlessly. I have a preference of belief and it seems that I am naturally inclined towards a more mystical view, it's what I want to believe is true and keep that thought in mind as I read the many books that offer varied ideas and opinions on the matter. I try and hold my preferences fairly lightly. 

as well, I have decades of a committed meditation practice, my own deep dive into subtle levels of the mind, exploring quieter realms and greater fields of stillness. This is science too, admittedly not objective, too personal in a way, although perhaps that's a strange way to describe it, as a sense of any personal self fades from my subjective view in deeper states of meditation. 

with this I believe that I've arrived at an answer to consciousness that truly satisfies me, and yes, it's that simple - it's all a mystery, everything, how consciousness appears, it's origin, and why it's expressed so personally, having gained this belief of such a lasting sense of self. My experience tells me absolutely nothing on these matters, meditation shows me what I am without labels that make it possible to describe or to match it with any scientific explanation. What I come to know and understand about myself isn't an answer to any question, mystical or scientific, in essence, I am consciousness, and I have no idea how it possibly arises - only that it's here, now, and that this is how I know my world. 

it's that simple. 

what I know is mystery, and by this I don't mean answers, that I have an explanation for consciousness, or anything at all really. It means I don't know, and more so, it doesn't matter to me, there's no need for an ultimate answer as to what I am right now, I'm living it, expressing it perfectly and miraculously with a complete sense of curiosity and ease. That's my only answer...I am...

and it really is that simple. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Simply Appearing

Simply appearing: 

writing is much like meditation for me, not in the way that the mind is calmed and settled by the mantra, or how the stillness of my mind is recognized beneath the seemingly ever present stream of thought. No, it's more about the mystery of it all, words simply appearing without my command, spontaneously, and just as ultimately there's found to be no actual thinker of the thoughts produced, only an aware presence here, a mere witness to their flow - writing is the same, with no author in charge of what words will show, or the inspiration for their theme. 

it's all thoughts and words simply appearing. 

and no one giving cause.

a mystery, really. 

so writing is not for my credit, there's little that I can claim as my own idea, and even the arrangement of words is a subtle inspiration, an impulse from some creative urge that suddenly appears. Again it's like meditation, I don't actually settle my mind through repetition of the mantra, it's always silent, spacious, and what happens is the recognition that this is so, my true nature is seen, and there's no one meditating, everything is simply appearing, thoughts, mantra, presence, they're all a subtle inspiration too. 

only mystery is found lasting.

this relieves me of any pressure with my writing, no creative block is possible, it's not my role to demand words to show, or even to wait for inspiration to appear. Everything happens on it's own, the spontaneous appearance of a writer, ready for words to flow, embracing the mystery of it all. What this really is, is trust, faith - thoughts, words, and even author....

simply appearing. 

~

Peace, Eric 

A Yogi

A yogi; 

for me, it's all yoga, what I write about, teach, how I make my living, and my greatest passion to talk of, it's yoga in its truest fashion, and I consider myself a yogi. I once mentioned this to a friend who taught Hatha yoga, the physical postures that make up a branch of yoga, and was rebuked for my position. For her yoga was centered almost exclusively on asanas, the physical benefits, and the emotional and psychological benefits followed from there. This largely seems to be the westernized approach and perhaps it was by design, that the original Yogi's coming to the West believed that the physical aspect was best suited for our temperament of mind, and that once established, we would find our way to the higher teachings of yoga. My own first exposure was from a book with illustrated poses described, designed and marketed as a teach yourself method and the other branches were briefly described, but the bulk of the book was made of postures and the benefits that they offered. I was only a kid, and yet fully captivated, teaching myself asanas, working through the book, and practicing in a halting manner, weeks at a time followed by long stretches were I put the practice aside for a long list of other interest. 

yet yoga had a hold on me. 

and never let me go. 

so I consider myself a yogi, and jokingly tell people that I'm not the bendy kind, although I do practice a series of asanas on a regular and committed basis. What I do is teach meditation, pranayama, having studied these and practiced for decades, certified by my own respected teacher. This is the yoga of Patanjali, the ancient sutras designed to truly understand ourselves through the means of breath and meditation, that the ultimate aim of yoga is the realization of who we really are. 

to be a yogi is to be committed to this realization. 

in essence than, and indeed in practice, my everyday point is to show myself as a yogi, not in any overt way, but in a joyful approach through all I do, everything I write, my relationships, my passion for physical expression through various means of motion - the realization is that it's all yoga, every bit of it, a divine union of the universe channeled to the very moment of my performance. I'm a yogi by design, we all are, each of us being an instruments of a grand cosmic display of light and order. 

the traditional greeting and closure of every yoga class is namaste, a salutes and recognition of the divine light within us all. This is the essence of yoga, the realization of this light, always present, and the very essence of who we truly are and through everything we do - it's light, divine, a union of cosmic proportions gathered exactly where we are...

namaste. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Ready to Write

I'm ready to write, coffee at hand, first sip always too hot for anything other than a brief moment at my lips, but it's a ritual now, almost like a salute to the blank screen before me and the words that have yet to be written. Some mornings there's an agenda, a topic to write of that's been tugging at my mind, science lately, cosmology, and how it all ties together through a theme of consciousness, shared, ours. Originally this morning I had set out to write of the universe at first creation and how everything that was then is still available now, that the basic elements of the universe don't vanish over the course of time, but simply recede as the universe continues its expansion. 

it's a worthy theme to write of.

instead other words come to me, the opening phrase of this pieces arrives and urges me towards another direction, unknown just yet, and I'm willing to follow the urge to its completion. Whatever it might prove to be. That's the fun thing about writing, for me it's all mystery until the exact word arrives, the theme is almost always winding and never truly revealed until written. 

I'm ready to write, it's just after my morning meditation, almost an hour that lead towards an ever increasing stillness, crowded thoughts dispersed, spaciousness more prevalent as the mantra hums quieter, softer, until resting in an always present field of silence. I love writing about meditation, expressing what a continuous gift it's been to me, the role it's played in my creative evolution. It's a worthy theme to write of and I often do, a most favorite topic of mine. 

instead, thoughts of my first sip of coffee come to me, my morning ritual of the one cup I drink while writing, the enjoyment found in it's preparation with my mind still quiet from early meditation. So I write about that first sip, almost burning my lips if I'm not careful but eager for the bitter taste, a ritual now completed, and I'm ready for the empty page. 

ready to write...and these are the words that find me. I followed that first tug of inspiration and this is the theme that followed, a mystery revealed. Some other morning I'll write about the universe and the secrets that it holds, meditation will provide an urge for its expression as well. This morning though, with that first sip of coffee, I'm ready to write...

and these are the words that appear. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Paradox of Self -Improvement

Paradox of self-improvement: 

there's a paradox of self-improvement, a myth really, that our very essence can or even needs to be fixed, enhanced in someway - and the truth is, the paradox, as seen with any deep inquiry and investigation, the self believed in need of repair doesn't exist in anyway supposed. That's the key issue here, the appearance of a self and the weight of its reality. Neuroscience is now catching up with Buddhism and Advaita Vedanta, what every mystic has gathered through investigating the deep recesses of their minds - the self that we believe in is somewhat of an illusion, non-existence in a certain way, or at least in the manner that it's viewed. I think the best way to describe this is that there's an appearance of a self, a decision maker, the voice that adds narrative to life events, giving judgement, praise and critique, and all of that provides weight for the reality of self belief. And again the paradox here is that it's this voice, this appearance, that urges us for improvement. 

 a mere appearance insisting reality needs repair...that's the paradox of self-improvement. 

the Upanishads tells us that consciousness is the very nature of the self, inseparable from it, the Buddha wouldn't even use the term self to describe our reality, not finding a single entity existing apart from any aspect of the world he insisted that our idea of a lasting sense of self was indeed an illusion. The spiritual text A Course In Miracles likens the self as a mad idea that somehow gained a sense of large importance and has taken over our world. Neuroscience simply states that it's all a process, a complication of chemical and biological events that lend themselves to the voice of self-identification. Anyway we view this it seems clear that self doesn't exist as we believe. 

in which case - what's to be improved upon? 

yet the paradox with self-improvement is that it's valid in a way, misguided, yes, but there's a real urge to find a way that's better suited to experience the world. By this I don't mean an endless quest of working on our insecurities that's guided by the narrative in our heads, that's a misinterpretation of that inner urge that's simply asking us to relax, to know ourselves as already complete and whole, and simply enjoy the process of our ever changing world. If there's a wish to lose weight, improve our health, or just gain a new skill for the sake of our enjoyment - honor it as any quest, sacred in pursuit, but not as an improvement to a self that only exists as an illusion of the mind. There is no right or wrong here, it's only a matter of how we view the quest we're on - sacred, but relaxed and clear in our pursuit, or an endless drive to fix what seems broken and needing our repair. 

it's not a choice, not really...

just the paradox of self-improvement. 

and once seen, we relax, and enjoy the quest we're on. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Another Year

Another year: 

so another year has passed, quicker now it seems as I get older, they no longer drag slow in anticipation of upcoming life events, not that I have less to look forward to, but perhaps I'm more patient at this stage of my life. Or maybe events themselves, milestones, have little interest to me anymore. There's no point in a year end review, or to set and share any resolutions. The past year was full of life, sometimes tragic, quite often full of joyful surprise, and most days simply passed with quiet contentment. I expect the new year to be much the same. 

of course I do have goals, certain things I'd like to achieve and will devote a high degree of energy on them, working diligently, focused - and yet I'm concerned with outcome at this point in my life, more willing to surrender results and find fulfillment in my passion. Yes, another year has passed and it does seem that I've grown a bit wiser, no longer concerned with measuring success by any standard, not even my own really, the work itself, joyful effort, and then to have it all surrendered to the continued flow of life - this seems to bring me a greater satisfaction.  

and in this way I'll continue, with the past year already surrendered and this moment fresh with present possibilities, I offer no resolutions, no promises of dreams and their fulfillment. This new year will again be full of life, more things that I cherish will be lost to me, events may happen that break me with a deepest pain and sorrow, wonderful things will also occur, I'll be struck with awe over the simplest pleasures, and still most days will pass with the same quiet contentment of before. Through it all I will continue on, immersed in life's flow, accepting every moment that arrives to me, however it unfolds, with even my resistance finding a home here, everything allowed, and then immediately surrendered, no matter how long I may wish to hold to...

and another year will pass. 

~

Peace, Eric