Original Meaning

In original meaning:

to repent, truly so, and not with sorrow, nor regret - but in original meaning, turning back towards a different understanding of myself and of the world. This is to repent in innocence, literally to see myself without mar, unmarked by slights of my own infliction. 

my true self.

words lose their original meaning through time, becoming something other than their first intent. It's the same with life too. I carry the weight and scars of many years.My first innocence lost to beliefs that I was separate from the world, that life was meant to be a struggle to achieve a certain status. It's what I learned, and no one to blame, just a long line of inherited tradition. But it wasn't true and never questioned. I never really lost my sense of being, my original meaning. 

it was simply forgotten.

or perhaps better said - it was overlooked. My original meaning, and only real purpose, is to be, to just be, and not strive to be something other than a joyful part of life, aware, and grateful of existence. This joy is not untouched by sorrow, but belongs to life in full, with every aspect accepted as belonging. This includes my story too, all the weight and scars, the beliefs of something being wrong. It's just how life unfolded. 

and back to the word repent and original meaning - to repent is to surrender, to return to the truth of who I am, and life's first intent. It's to turn around and see my original self, empty of all but joyful existence. This is seeing myself as capacity for life to be expresses through me, as my own personal expression too. To repent is to allow myself to be, to simply, and only be, exactly who I am. 

it's my true meaning. 

~

Peace, Eric