A Self Appears

A self appears: 

a self appears - not in any sense false, nor separate from myself. It's an appearance, as natural, organic, as every other thought that comes to me. Yet, by virtue of its persistent presence, the added weight of belief and years, it seems to gain a firm and lasting purpose. I believe myself to be something other than I am - a self appears, and I forget my own persistent presence. 

what I am is more lasting than a self.

this isn't a mystical plea for a presence greater than the world, it's not a claim of immortality of soul - it's about spaciousness, being open, sky-like to what appears to me. It's about finding myself aware and resting in every possibility. It's in this openness, this capacity, that a self appears, and through this I see that it's no more lasting than any other appearance. Every moment brings a new self to my awareness, added to by experience, a new belief, or another story told. It lingers, and passes too, like everything else, and as it reappears I see it has no true substance, no quality that really gains traction through its spacious hold. 

a self appears - and belongs for whatever length of stay. It's that simple, there's no ego that rules my world, no self that will last beyond this moment. What reappears is a new relation to each experience, a sense of being an observer to our own participation with life. It's a ghost within my presence. So there's nothing to chase away, it all belongs, it's  all an appearance. 

nothing more. 

~

Peace, 

Eric