Remember

The goals I have for this new year are mostly personal, spiritual and emotional. Yes, I do have quite a bit I would like to achieve physically - my first 100 ultra - but ultimately I wish to make these goals part of a spiritual agenda. An advancement of spirit if you will. The key to this is simple remembrance - to remember spirit first in all things. The great thing about remembrance is that it allows room for forgetting. We're not saints (not yet) and we will make mistakes, we will be unkind and thoughtless - we will forget the advancement of spirit. Until we remember. And then we begin again. Starting with ourselves - we will remember and we will be kind to ourselves and forgive ourselves and once more offer the best if who we are to others - knowing that they too often forget and that they too will remember and offer (again) their best to us. This is grace. And for you...may 2013 be filled with spirit and grace.

Peace,
Eric

2012

It's the end of the year. Many of the goals I laid out for 2012 have come to pass - I've run and raced more and set PR's from 5k to 50 miles. My training went well over all with a higher weekly volume than ever - I topped 2000 miles for the year by far. My writing was consistent if not always inspired. I wrote daily in the blog and poetry again became a regular feature.
I was, however, unable to make the improvements in business and in pursuing a livelihood in nutrition (plant-based diet) and hope (again) to make this more of a priority for 2013. Funny how some goals slip by while others are so easy to pursue.
I had hoped to heal my relationship with my wife and I guess in many ways we did - we became closer, sharing races and dinner and enjoying each others company on a level we have missed for some time now. Ultimately I failed though and the year ended in divorce. From here, honestly, I don't know where to go - healing I guess but I really don't know how. Maybe I will in 2012.

I'll save my upcoming goals for another blog.
I hope you have all picked out worthy goals for yourselves as well!

Peace,
Eric

Two Sides











 



From my lips...

The night is torn by the
whisper of your name.

Two sides of infinity.

Distance.

And my longing to be
near you.

 

 

~

 

 



 

We pray - not for answers - but for our voice to

carry onwards and farther and perhaps a

moment found listened to by

something larger than

ourselves.



 

 

 

`

Running/Therapy

Running is therapy. More so than virtually any other form of exercise that I can think of - there are plenty (lifting, martial arts) that help alleviate tension and aggression - but for working through issues mentally or letting the conscious mind go blank and the subconscious take over - running seems to top all for me. The longer the better. When the run is over I may be no closer to a solution to a given problem - but I am calmer, more focused and definitely relaxed. All of which will put me in a better place for problem solving. I hope this new year finds you all trouble free - but if needed - go for a run.


Peace,
Eric

As The Earth

Rain,
And I stand…willing
Myself as the
Earth –
Grateful in receiving.

 

 

 

 

 

~

in the passing of all things we are the witness

constant to it all.

 

 

 

Rain falls and the earth receives - humble, accepting and grateful in the

gift that aids seasons and the bloom of life. We are of the earth and

we too bloom in the faith of gifts both seen and unseen.

Heaven rains in a constant

presence.

May we be grateful in our

reception.

 

 

 

 

 

 

`


Divorce

Divorce is terrible. It's been terrible for me - yet I know for many that it is the only option in a sad or unhealthy situation. My wife and I had lots of options yet somehow never took them. I will always regret that and I will always wonder why. We both could be difficult to live with but it always seemed easy to overlook. She was/is my best friend and having the marriage pact of our relationship end rips a hole within the very fabric of my being. It seems incomprehensible to me. I knew the day was coming, the day of our divorce and right up to the very moment of it ending I still believed she would take my hand and that we walk out together - knowing we were happier, better, being together than apart. I don't know how to heal from this. I'm told I will. Maybe so. And again maybe I won't. Maybe some wounds don't heal, aren't supposed to heal, a physic scar visible only to the heart. I don't know. It seems there is much I don't know. I do know - divorce is terrible.


Peace,
Eric

Swept Aside



 





And then at once I am
The wind,
Having swept aside
Illusion’s form –
And joined my spirit to the
Breeze.

 

~

 

There is nothing that we are

apart from. The illusion of distance, time and

space keep us bound to ideas yet

reality rest beyond the concept of

thought and

self.

 

There is a world unseen turning

soft against us.

 

Urging us to join....





`

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone.
Historically it seems that the birth of Jesus did not actually fall on the 25th of December. And of late there has been a politically correct movement to wish "Happy Holidays" in replacement if Merry Christmas out of respect for non-Christians. This is understandable - not everyone celebrates Christmas and other traditions have holidays that fall in the same time frame. I like wishing people merry Christmas though - Christians and non-Christians alike. Regardless of tradition this is a holy time of year - days lengthen on from the Solstice, beneath the noise and hustle of celebration a true quiet can be felt, things are ending and becoming, from fall to winter with spring not far behind. It's a magical time. Jesus was Christ and he was One with His Father. He was born into this world with the message that we too contain Christ with and yes we are One with our Father as well. This message was for everyone. Today - I can be reborn in the innocence and holiness of Christ. I can see the Christ within you being born again in spirit and love. I can and will remember our original unity under God the Father, the Mother, the Alpha and Omega. Today - and everyday - Merry Christmas.

Peace,
Eric

Freedom Waits

A troubling week. A week of personal loss. Lessons in forgiveness and patience and I'm failing most the times. I keep trying though and it's much like meditation - the mind strays and we bring it back to the breath or mantra. It strays again and still more - yet each time we gently return it and continue on. It's never a failure as reptition builds strength and over time the mind becomes focused and we are able to move beyond its confines. The same holds true with forgiveness - in time we become able to move past the limiting confines of resentment, anger and hurt. That's when we are set free. There is a vast space of new becoming waiting for us. Take each lesson as it comes. Freedom waits.


Peace,
Eric

Training Year in Review

So this year has seen a big increase in my mileage volume - 60+ miles is pretty routine and I will often hit 80+ for race preparation. Barefoot style shoes were still my standby shoe along with some zero drop racers like New Balance Minimus and their 110 trail shoes (which got me through several ultras this year and are still going strong) 2011 saw the addition of more focused speed work- mostly done on the track - and this helped me set PR's from 5k to 50 miles this year. Tempo work was steady as well. Late in the year I also made a return to some low heart rate training - mainly to prep for a spring 100. Of all the things added for 2011 it's the heart rate training that may not be the keeper. After a few more weeks I will weigh the cost/benefit of it and report back.
Lifting wise I dropped a large portion of my kettlebell (sport) focused training to return to some heavier work with deadlift and presses in a low volume workout style several days a week. This has helped me gain some strength back and improved my running as well. My once weekly kettlebell focused workout (Long Cycle) seems to be improving too from the strength focus. This routine will be a keeper coming into the new year.
Diet - I'm a vegan. This year and next. I don't see this changing. However I did relax on the raw and fruitarian mindset this year - although this too will return in the new year. I eat out more and allowed myself a bit of "fast food" vegan style and even some more desert type stuff. Pretty sure that won't be sticking around for 2013 - at least not quite to the extent that I have presently allowed it.
So that's the years training in review (if anyone is interested)

Thanks for visiting,
Eric

Returning to Peace

Today I had a rare emotional outburst, pure anger released on another, truly a frightening moment. As the Buddha said we are not punished for our anger but by our anger and this was clearly demonstrated to me today. I was emotionally spent and physically drained. And immedietly sorry. There is no semse in compounding the issue by getting mad (or staying mad) at myself. To find (or refind) peace - be peaceful. If we wish for forgiveness - forgive. As always I return to the Prayer of ST. Francis -



Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.


O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

 

 

 

 

And once more - begin again.

 

 

Peace,

Eric

Right Here

Albert Einstein famously said - "we can't solve problems using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." A Buddhist might say that we can't fix a problem with the same mind that created it. It takes a paradigm shift. When I hear people suggest that they way to solve the violent crime issue is with more guns - I become confused. We need a new mind, a new way of thinking. For now, for right now, lets take gun ownership off the discussion table. Putting anyone on the defensive is aggressive thinking that adds to the problem. We need a new mind. Let's think differently. How do we create peace? When we're looking for peaceful solutions we will be thinking peace. A different way of thinking. It's a start. And everything starts right here. Right here - with you.

Peace,
Eric

 

 

 

PS

I wish to add to clear up any confusion that this in no way implies lack of action or is a path for the meek. Ahisma (No Harm) is a bold path of action that demands the personal courage of a Martin Luther King or Gandhi. Nothing takes more personal courage than a willingness to confront our own demands, preferences and demons - and then relinquish them to a higher source and cause.



Holding Only You

 

 

 

You are no farther than
a thought away-
And yet I fill this distance
with a thousand words.

So I let go.


Allowing words to drop unspoken.


The distance narrows.


I fall to a silence
holding only
you.

 

 

~

 

Pray in silence...and faith

becomes our spoken

word.

 



~



Herman Melville wrote that silence is the only voice of God and our interior silence - that sacred pause between thought and word - we find our true temple. There is no need to search for this temple - simply wait for gathered thoughts to pass as clouds. And then behold the brilliant radiance of our mind.



Peace,

Eric







Guns

Gun ownership seems to be a sensitive subject - people feel a great need to defend their gun ownership. I guess I won't question any one's right to keep arms-  heck I own several guns myself, tow left over from my old hunting days and belonged to my dad. I will, however, question the need for certain weapons such as assault rifles and concealed handguns. I think we all should. Why would someone desire such a think knowing the intent behind the weapon? I don't know the answer. I don't have the desire. With no judgement....maybe it's something we should explore?

Peace,
Eric

Constellations

 

 

Within...pressed long

against bone and

flesh -

constellations dreaming of

the sky.

 

 

 

~

We are of the stars - birthed from the heavens and

continued as flesh. Yet deep within and not

forgotten - we are more.

And in our dreams....still we soar to

heaven.

 

 

Peace,

Eric





Last Race of The Year - Race Review Rudolph Run 4 Miler and Relay 2012

Today was the last race of the year (pretty sure) and marks tow years of monthly racing for me - I guess it has become a bit of a streak and I'll see if I can keep it for another year. Some races have been short and some long and all have been fun. Today was short - and fun! Phil Lange and Bullseye Running have consistently been putting out fine races for a few years now and each event carries there signature brand of detailed organization with a family style event feel. Each race is unique and a challenge in its own way. Today was the Rudolph Run 4 Miler and 2 Person Relay - a trail run held in Rockburn Park. Rockburn is a hidden beauty by the way - surrounding baseball and soccer fields are miles of scenic trails through surprisingly deep woods. The beginning of the races there all have a cross country style start before hitting the trails which adds to the fun and gives the runner a bit of a head of steam before dodging rocks and roots and jumping fallen trees. Two 2 mile loops and then a pavilion full of hot soup, donuts and fruit.
I ran a little better than expected after yesterdays 22 miler. I kept my heart rate between 80 and 85% of my targeted max - about tempo run range and ran strong without pushing too hard. Just enough to remind me it was a race and a time of 31:30 (something) A fun way to end the year and keep me hopeful for the next! A big thanks to Phil and the Lange family for this event and for all of their hard work through the year - you guys have been a big part of my racing life and I appreciate it! See you for the Mid Maryland 50k in February!

Thanks for reading,
Eric

Right Now





                                                    

Now is the time - the miles increase and hours stretch through the day. The real training for the C&O 100 begins now. And it's all in the mind. Spending the extra hours on the trail or road, being mindful of the little details that will allow me to recover and be back out there again tomorrow - more miles and longer hours - this is what will make or break me somewhere between mile 1 and 100. What we do now - right now - counts. And it always has.

Peace,
Eric

A Prayer

No Man Is An Island

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

John Donne

 

 

~

Beautiful words from John Donne and words that have always struck me deeply - conveying so well the truth of our connection from soul to soul and body to body. Indeed we are each part of the whole that is the making of everything. Years ago during the rots that occurred after the O.J Simpson trial spiritual leader Eknath Easwaren urged his students to refrain from feeding into and off of the media storm that followed. It wasn't a wish to not be involved - for as John Donne vividly points out we have no choice but to be involved - we are connected to the whole. No, what Easwaren wished for was for less attention to the story and more attention to the individual, to the victims and as in the case with the recent Connecticut  shooting of children we are all victims for their horror and pain and anguish are surely our own - we suffer for their suffering and our hearts extend to theirs. I won't comment on the story - no social commentary - I will only join in prayer for and to all those touched by this tragedy. We are each diminished by this loss and share in the pain of all those touched by this senseless act of violence. May we send love, send peace and above all our prayers for those in need of comfort.

 

God Bless,

Eric



Thin Spots

“In the Still of Life”

From the round of my shoulder
worked the artist,
as trickles of sweat mingled with chalk,
pasting dark irises on white.
There emerged burnt siennas that burnished the ambers…
arching the canvased planes.
The arm that posted me
swayed with the fatigue of a sensual spine.
I am an emotional and dancing ache,
that begs, in the promenade of rose’d blush,
for deliverance.

Paula Barr Carrigan

 

 

`

 

Beautiful words. This poem was written by someone who inspires me a great deal and embodies the very soul of this blog - Paula runs with spirit, she creates with spirit and she lives with spirit. A talented poet, artist, craftsman, musician, mountaineer and runner - and most importantly someone who extends her self beyond limits and encourages others to take this step as well. I'm proud to call her a friend.

We have discussed the theme of creation together and how it ties into and within the things we love- I remember reading about "thin spots" in Celtic lore. Thin spots are places where the the separation of heaven and earth are so thinly veiled that the kiss of holiness and the material world create a powerful atmosphere for the miraculous and sacred. Reading poems such as Paula's lead me to believe that perhaps we create our own Thin Spots - that through our efforts, hushed of ego, we too have rubbed thin between worlds and brushed near to heaven. Words like Paula's make me think yes, indeed we have.

 

Peace,

Eric

 



Quiet Hours

In quiet hours...I am the
words.

And the page waits to
receive me.

Grateful to be filled.

 

 

`

There comes a certain state - the world narrows, and narrows, and still more until at

once it disappears and the sharpness of creation is all that exist and the

confines of the hands and mind become a Genesis all their own.

 

 

 

 



Training The Mind

I love the feedback a heart rate monitor provides and the instant ego check I get when my brain is urging for speed over common sense. We can think of meditation as providing a bit of this same feedback. Unfortunately this feedback may be a bit easier to ignore than the flashing numbers on our wrist or the shrill beeping of we use an alarm. It's the same feedback though - a recognition that the ego has now taken charge of the drivers seat and we must wrest it back to regain control. In running we slow down and that's often the case with our thoughts as well - a simple awareness that we are thinking yet behind the thought is infinite peace - the Buddhist "Clear Sky/Clear Mind" concept. Watching the breath is the "slowing of the legs" in the mental process - not controlling - but simply watching. Be aware of the in-breath, the pause, and then the out-breath. And again. Soon our mind slows, we find that "clear sky". Even if it's only a glimpse.
Often that's just enough.

Peace,
Eric

Deepak And Meditation

I have always enjoyed the work of Deepak Chopra and his Primordial Sound Meditation (PSM) has been a big part of my life for close to 15 years now. It's a very simple, effective means of meditation and instruction is reasonably priced. One of the reasons Deepak left the Transcendental Meditation movement was he felt that it was priced out of reach of most people. The two methods are very similar and I believe equally effective. In his beautifully titles book - The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire - Deepak offers a Siddhi (spiritual powers of enlightenment) that is a great complement along side of any meditation program but perhaps even more so with PSM where we are literally meditating and vibrating with the sound of the universe at the very moment of our birth. Exciting concept. I definitely recommend both PSM and the book - all of Deepak's books for that matter. Enjoy!

Eric

Slow Down (Yes, Even More)

I'll stick to the topic of slowing down for just a little bit longer - today though I'm thinking of the spiritual and emotional benefits of slowing down outside of running. We live in busy times and that constant rush of activity leaves little room for a calm mind. Meher Baba summed it up perfectly - " A mind that is fast is sick. A mind that is slow is sound. A mind that is still is Divine." Meditation slows the mind down - we become aware of the space between thoughts and gradually allow our attention to dwell for longer and longer moments in these "gaps of Divinity".
Today - slow down.
Just for a moment....and touch
Divinity.


Peace,
Eric

Slow Down

One of the great things of low heart rate training is being able to relax, set ego aside (it will be firmly set aside on the very first run) and actually experience the physical, mental and spiritual aspects of running that are so often missed in the quest for more and faster. Running becomes a joy again instead of simply a challenge to past performances. Of course the side benefit is eventual faster times. Or even flipped around - if the main reason someone chooses to focus on purely the physical they will soon find the added benefits that go along with a slower pace. It's a win/win.

Peace,
Eric

Low Heart Rate Training Revisited

My first year of serious ultra running (well...running as a sport in general) I was fortunate enough to have someone help me with base building by introducing me to Low Heart Rate Training (LHRT) and it definitely helped prepare me for my first 50 mile event. Unfortunately I took the advice to a T and ignored some of the heavier work I had been doing (heavy kettlebell training) and lost some strength as well. This past year I have been gradually building back strength and my speed at it's best - but on a return visit to LHRT yesterday I was shocked to find that I couldn't keep my HR under 140. So maybe some base building again? It would be a good idea. Yet I'm not sure I want to take it to the extreme of a few years ago. Strength works stays. I have found a template that works well for me right now and don't wish to tamper with it. I also don't wish to lose speed even in the short term. This is what Triathlete Marc Allen calls his "patience phase" of training and it's understandable. I'm just not sure I'm willing to be that patient. It would be the difference of a 3.5 hour long run and a 5 hour run - or even more. I will be doing 30 mile training runs to prep for the 100 and even at my fastest that would be time consuming. So I'm assessing and re-assing my training. A recent purchase was John L. Parker's book on Heart Monitor Training and he as some different numbers to go by that may be more manageable and even has speed and tempo work as well. Basically it's a hard/easy philosophy to technically I could run a "hard" long run at a higher HR and pace if I make sure I follow it with my baseline LHR run. So that's what I'm thinking now and wanted to share. Thanks for reading!

Eric

The War Of Art

A recent blog post I read reminded me of the Book - The War Of Art, By Steven Pressfield -and what a positive impact it had upon my life. I first read this book in 2002 and the single thing that has stayed with me since is that writers, write - everyday. No excuses. I took this to heart and have missed two days in over 10 years. I recall leaping out of bed to write just a few lines on the rare occasion that I forgot to sit and write. I made an appointment with myself and took it seriously and applied it strictly. The words didn't have to be a masterpiece - or even that good. Words on a page became (and is) my mantra. For an amazingly productive period I wrote a poem a day for several years and was quite pleased with most of them. Five books of poetry sprung from this time. Personal issues seemed to interfere with the creative flow of poetry and writing a single poem, let alone a poem a day, became a struggle. Enter the blog - a perfect place to court the Muse, practice writing and fill a page with words - for better or worse. In the next week or so I will visit the sequel to The War Of Art - titled On Turning Pro and I hope to mine from that another 10 years of lasting inspiration.

Peace,
Eric

Standing In My Way

 

 

Between the observer and

observed -

is only me...standing in the

way.

 

~

If not for the ego - I would observe a tree, the sky, a rock - as an aspect of self that is different but not separate. An extension of self yet part of the whole. Of course the ego is a needed guide for navigating the material world. It's the identification of the ego as self that gets us into a bit of trouble. When things and people are viewed as entirely separate from ourselves we are apt to treat some as lesser, or more and all as so different that we can only relate in possible abstract terms. Quantum physics shows that their is no (real) place where a tree leaves off and the sky begins - there is only energy and patterns of energy. The same holds true for each of us as well. If I viewed you as an extension of myself, deserving of love and esteem in the same matter I wish for myself - would hurting you be even a remote possibility?

It's an interesting thought.

In the mean time I still very much block the view of how I wish to see the world.

But my vision is clearing.





Fueling For Vegan Ultra Runners

One of the big challenges for me on running the C&O 100 will be fueling correctly - meaning getting in enough calories to carry me through the miles without crashing. This of course is a challenge for everyone but it seems to offer a specific problem for vegans - what to eat? Aid Stations don't often stock the most vegan friendly food - nor for the most part even healthy choices. Most runners just want calories and that's understandable. I want calories that will fuel me, nourish me, aid in my recuperation even while I'm running, while the whole time staying true to my ethical standards. Fruit is the (almost) perfect standby but with the exception of a few are fairly low in calories and it just may not be feasible to consume so much while on the trail - not to mention that later in a race fructose becomes harder to tolerate for some on a stomach turning sour. On 50ks and 50 miles I have had great success with dates, bananas and the occasional Vega gel (date based, vegan) but even at this shorter distance I have experienced a stomach beginning to rebel from too much fruit. A longer race may be out of the question. We'll see as I plan to keep experimenting with the right combination - adding some fat and protein (almonds) to help absorb the sugar. I may try (well, retry) Hammer Perpetuem - which supposedly (not doubting just lack personal experience) would allow me to get by with less fuel. So Perpetuem, dates, and whatever fruit (and maybe the occasional pretzel - my weakness) is available at aid stations. I'm open for suggestions from all runners - not just the vegan kind.

Thanks!

Eric

Path With Heart (And Running an Ultra)

To the best of my ability I will make my 100 mile race and training a testament to the title of this blog. Training for the race won't be enough, finishing won't be enough either - the whole experience of the race - from training to the finish line will have to have heart. The best description of this path comes (again) from Carlos Castaneda -

The Path With A Heart

Anything is one of a million paths. Therefore you must always keep in mind that a path is only a path; if you feel you should not follow it, you must not stay with it under any conditions. To have such clarity you must lead a disciplined life. Only then will you know that any path is only a path, and there is not affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you to do. But your decision to keep on the path or to leave it must be free of fear or ambition.

I warn you. Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself, and yourself alone, one question. This question is one that only a very old person asks. My benefactor told me about it once when I was young, and my blood was too vigorous for me to understand it. Now I do understand it.

I will tell you what it is: Does this path have a heart?

All paths are the same, they lead nowhere. They are paths going through the bush, or into the bush. In my own life I could say I have traversed long, long paths, but I am not anywhere. My benefactor's question has meaning now. "Does this path have a heart?" One makes you strong; the other weakens you.

The trouble is nobody asks the question: and when a person finally realizes that they have taken a path without heart, the path is ready to kill them. At that point very few people stop to deliberate and leave the path.

A path without a heart is never enjoyable. You have to work hard even to take it. On the other hand, a path with heart is easy; it does not make you work at liking it.

For my part there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length.

And there I travel looking, looking, breathlessly.

 

 

~

Running with Spirit means choosing the path with heart - and following it through completion - that may mean 100 miles and yet again it could be 70, or 40 or even 10.

My intent is to run with heart, with spirit - for however far that takes me.

 

Peace,

Eric

Resentment and Space

Resent often fills up so much space within our hearts that there is no room left for the beautiful things we wish for to expand. In recent years there has been much talk of the Law Of Attraction and truly what we think about we can attract in our lives - however if there is no room to accept the good we wish for we will not be able to keep it. Forgiveness creates the inward space we need for the things we wish for by clearing out stale resentments and grievances. It's been said that nature abhors a void and this is true for our inner world as well. Once clear of resentments our life becomes a rush of beauty as it pours into our world. It's magic. Try it.

C&O Canal 100 Mile Endurance Run

I'm in - the C&O Canal 100 Mile Endurance Run - my first 100. Training actually started awhile back - I had my site set on this race since before Stone Mill 50 and wanted to continue training straight through. The focus will change however - it's concrete - a set date and a goal. That's when everything changes-  when a loose idea becomes fixed as an actual intent and the worlds focus come together to cooperate and lend aid. I'm excited - as much for the training and this focus as the race itself. Thanks to all who read for being part of this journey as well.

Peace,
Eric

Every Need Fulfilled

In the absence of

desire -

only you...and all my

needs fulfilled.

 

 

 

Tantric scriptures tell us that desire for material possessions and people are fine yet misplaced as our true search is for the Divine. We are never satisfied for long with mere playthings as long as our soul seeks a reconnection with itself. Our ultimate reality calls and that's the nature of all desire - to search for this hidden self. There's a clever Hindu story that tells of God hiding an aspect of Himself on earth in the one place we would be sure to search last - ourselves. The search for God within is desire - finding Him is the absence of all desire. Our every need is met.

 

Peace,

Eric



Petty Tyrants and Great Teachers

Our greatest teachers are the ones who are least aware of what they're teaching - the ones who call into play the greatest patience, the most kindness and compassion and grandest acts of courtesy and empathy. Carlos Castaneda would calls these teachers our "petty tyrants" and laud their importance in our lives. Of course we mistake our petty tyrants for enemies and try to defeat them with tactics unfit for the destruction of our real enemy - our own self importance. Here's a favorite quote for The Fire Within (Castaneda) -

"Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it--what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellow men. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.
Every effort should be made to eradicate self-importance from the lives of warriors. Without self-importance we are invulnerable."
Our greatest weapons in this fight are simply recognition, awareness, and humor. If we're offended - we've recognized the symptom. Awareness brings light into the situation and humor dissolves the offense into the clear light of our recognition. Castaneda likens this awareness as being a stalker - to cast our awareness wide and deep and look for this signs of prideful offense. A Course in Miracles would simply urge us to smile at the demands of the ego - the tiny voice that "forgot to laugh".  Castaneda recognized the difficulty of this task and likens it to the call of the warrior. I prefer a more gentle approach as a war fought within is never won - it's in the surrender of self importance and ego that spirit comes to pass as our true identity. However Castaneda casts a powerful metaphor that serves many well and underscores the importance and difficulties of this endeavor.
With even a little progress (in a lifetime pursuit) we will find ourselves offended less and giving more. And a smile always near.

Peace,
Eric

Priorities

So my upcoming focus will be on deepening my meditation, lengthening my runs and sorting through my life - discarding what no longer serves and adding people and things that nourish and bring joy. Tall order? Sure - yet I have all the time in the world. With proper priorities material concerns - while still pressing - will fall into a natural rhythm. Peace is a priority. Joy and sharing joy are priorities. Kindness, compassion and forgiveness are all priorities. Everything else is a bonus that flows abundantly into a life that expects infinite possibilities and wishes fulfilled.

Peace,
Eric

Growth

It helps you grow. Everything - the good, the bad, friction and the smooth ride. Yet only when approached with gratitude for all and keen awareness. Otherwise we are at the mercy of life's waves - there is only madness top the ebb and flow and the magic of the moon is lost from view. Pay attention to patterns, coincidences and random encounters - they all hold deeper meaning and are the key to lifting ourselves to new heights.

Peace,
Eric

In The Wake Of Thanksgiving

In the introduction on her new book (The Law Of Divine Compensation) author Marianne Williamson shares a report from economist Jeffrey Sachs stating that one-sevenths of the annual military defense budget (one hundred billion dollars) could eradicate deep world hunger within ten years. Two things immediately jumped out at me - eradicate - the complete elimination of a global catastrophe in a decade. The second was what a slim figure one-sevenths actually is. With a simple paradigm shift deep world hunger could be on be on the path of global elimination in a moment - a single moment. Many may claim that we cannot possibly shift our priorities (even by one-seventh) away from home defense in a dangerous world where many seek to do us harm. I won't make the argument other-wise. It's not for me to debate an issue that clearly has merit on both sides. I have seen facts and statistics that show we can indeed spare such a figure without a compromise in security and I have heard counter arguments. The debate goes on and people - children - continue to die. I will make this one statement though and leave it for each to workout on their own - imagine the esteem and gratitude heaped upon a nation that eradicates deep world hunger and the suffering that ensues. Yes, we may still have enemies that wish us harm - yet maybe many, many more that sing our praise. With gratitude comes one less enemy.


For what we can do please visit
http://www.results.org/

Peace,
Eric

On Losing A Friend

So a friend has written me out of her life, just a moments notice and not a word said in advance. I could rationalize and tell myself that I am better off without someone like that in my life and like all rationalization there may be some truth behind such thought. But the bottom line is that it always hurts to lose someone and to lose someone because they feel there is a flaw in my personality hurts all the worse. Truth is there are many flaws in my personality and in everyone as well - that's life and that's people. We come to love one another through our flaws. They're gifts. Viewed through different eyes what seems as a flaw can reflect back to us a deeper truth - if we're willing to see ourselves reflected back from another eyes. Not many are. So news that someone may hold a negative opinion of me is not hurtful - but that they would sacrifice our friendship over it does indeed hurt. My heart is always open for a friend and does not slam shut by their behavior (at least not for long - once I'm over myself the door remains open) The best I can do is say I love you. And I do.

Peace,
Eric

Out Running Ego

The question remains on whether we can out run our ego or not - can we use the vehicle of the body to advance the goal of the spirit. According to Kabbalah that is the only true goal of the soul to bring the Infinite to the finite. Kabbalah holds that the world of this reality is only 1% of ultimate reality and that Infinite world of true reality uses us as a vessel to transport truth between worlds. Running can take us to the edge of these two worlds yet without care we can find ourselves striding more into the 1% world of ego and (seemingly) leaving spirit far behind. My goal with the 100 mile race is to out run ego, training to the point where only the body remains in motion and the mind returns to original stillness. Miles alone won't do this - but mindful miles will. So every stride my prayer will be that every step will fall with spirit.

Peace,
Eric

Quick Post

Shaky Internet service today - it's up now and hopefully will stay up but want to post a short blog to keep my streak going. Unfortunately I have nothing prepared to write about so I'll wing it.  safe topic is always running and the topic most on my mind is a 100 mile race - THE 100 mile race - which I'll find out if I make it in on December 1st. My training has started already as it seems best to procede as if I'm in - no sense losing training time. This will be the big even of the year - along with CAT and hopefully finally putting everything together for a fast marathon. It promises to be an exciting year and it's always great to have a new adventure to prepare for.
Thanks for reading!

Eric

A Return to Thanksgiving

As a kid I used to love Thanksgiving for reasons I would have been unable to articulate back then. Looking back I can see that it was the simplicity of the holiday, the gathering of family and sharing of a meal together. We would travel from Maryland to western Pennsylvania to stay with my grandmother, riding through the mountains and forested land became part of a wonderful tradition that made me at once feel connected to my family and the land we traveled through as well. Thanksgiving seemed to be a very intimate holiday, a holiday in its own right and not a kick-off for Christmas, although yes it was the gateway for holiday seasons. But there was no madness about it, no sudden media urge to shop and spend. It was a different time - yet we are not different people. We still crave simplicity and intimacy. We have lost our ability to connect with this longing though and now is the time to reclaim it. Spend time with friends and family today, tell someone how grateful you are to know them, stay home and urge others to as well - shopping will still be there tomorrow - and the day after. Make a vow to keep the holiday season what it should be and used to be and could be again - it's a holy day and spirit can be felt deeply on these days. Allow it in. Resist the urge to shop and spend in excess - maybe ask each family member to exchange one gift, one that takes real thought and a depth of knowledge for the person you're shopping for. The quality of a present is truly the love in which it was exchanged. Quantity will never buy love although it seems to purchase a cheapened attention span. Those gifts aren't worth the price of holiness - nothing is. My holiday vow is a return to simplicity and a prayer for grace. It starts today.

Peace,
Eric

Thankful

I am thankful to be vegan - this year and every year. I am grateful that no animal was harmed in order for me to celebrate this holiday. I see long lines at a local turkey farm and I'm saddened by this loss of life and the indifferent faces of the people emerging carrying a lifeless caress which will soon be their meal. I hope that they are grateful - not just for the food and for their family - but for the life that was lost, the life that was taken after brutal treatment so that they could enjoy. I hope so...but somehow doubt that the thought has even crossed their mind. Be grateful. Be mindful.

Peace,
Eric

What We're Looking For



Beyond our names of

recognition -

something deeper calls...and we answer

with a silent language of our

own.

~
I think this is why we run ultras, climb mountains and seek the wilderness - the ineffable calls to us and it's silent voice is veiled by crowds and cell phones and traffic and chatter. Herman Melville wrote that silence is the only voice of God and Psalms 46:10 urges us to "Be still and know that I am God". We seek stillness and silence to gain back our inner voice that is far beyond the world of noise, we are looking for the edge of our worldly existence where we leave off and become this spirit of our true being. Sages and Yogis have long sought out wild places and now as endurance athletes we claim this territory as well. We are out running our to gain a true Self and identity of Spirit. Our bodies are vehicles to the Infinite and as the Persian poet Rumi said -

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I'll meet you there.

 

Eric

Holy Waters

We move beyond the simple
pleasures of our bodies.

Yes...the thickness of desire
still hangs humid in the
air.

We taste it on the words we
speak.

And the weight of fingers pressed
warm across the flesh...thrills
to a deepness past the
bone.

This will never change.

Yet we have opened doors that
lead to higher worlds.

We have glimpsed the
ocean.

And now nothing else
will do -

But to swim in holy
waters.

 

 

 

 

 

 

`

 

A Little Help From Mother Teresa

Here is a poem attributed to Mother Teresa - it was found written on a wall in the orphanage she ran in Calcutta. The original source of the poem is Kent M. Keith - both are powerful messages and words to live by yet Mother Teresa's (slightly) different version brings a surrendering to God for all the possibly outcomes that invokes a very true sense of peace. Here's the poem:

Mother Teresa's Anyway Poem

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
 

~
Yes, these are powerful words but they are also difficult words to bring to play - you see we have all been on both sides of these issues. We have built and and we have destroyed, we have knocked people down and helped others up - in other words we have been human. The question then ultimately comes down to our ability to forgive and accept ourselves, to recognize our faults and love ourselves thoroughly through them and because of them yet not succumb to the apathy of our lesser selves. We are all truly better then we know and capable to a depth of compassion and love that may seem to belong only to realm of saints and avatars. Yet Jesus cursed the fig tree and still forgave from the cross, the Buddhist saint  Milarepa was a thief and murderer who then rose to a level of compassion and caring that he was sought out from his remote Tibetan cave for council and wisdom, while Saul was struck blind from his horse to atone for the slaughter of thousands he gained new life as Paul and was to sainthood. I think our own personal sins are much milder, and if not, there is still the seed of kindness and compassion that must only be cultivated. It's possible. Remember the final analysis - it always between us and God and in this surrender we are able to rule our inner world.

Peace,
Eric

Stone Mill 50M 2012 -Race Review

The third annual Stone Mill 50M is in the books and you couldn't have asked for a better racing day - a cool start and an afternoon in the mid 50's was made to order for a long day on the beautiful Seneca Creek Greenway Trail. Rolling hills, deep woods (lots of deer sightings) streams, the C&O Canal and a little bit of road running to stretch the legs - the course really does have something to offer everyone and is just technical enough to keep even the sharpest trail runner on their toes. This is my second year running and there will definitely be many more.
Last years course was a little long at around 54.5 but this year was right on the money - I believe must people came in just over 50. Since I took the scenic route several times (I got off track) I cam in again around 54.5 - maybe I just missed last year and wanted to repeat? Or maybe I just need to keep my head up and pay better attention. Extra miles never hurt and the detours really were scenic but it did keep my off my goal of sub 11. My official race time was 11:29:29 but somehow I ran without a chip - I don't know how or what happened other then I think I totally lunched and forgot to out in on - so it was a few minutes before my time was recorded and a few of us missed the start by 3 minutes so my "real" unofficial time was 11:22 (According to my Garmin) Regardless it was a happy PR for me and my legs told me and keep telling me that I can do better - so I'll keep trying.
Once again I under ate and hydrated - although hydration was a bit better the last few races. The fix for this is to practice, practice, practice on my long runs - at least when race day is approaching. Vega Gels and Endurance Bars, dates and a few pretzels were about all I had. It was just enough - but needs to be better. Something I'll work on.
As usual the volunteers were wonderful - I say this about most ultras and many races - I think running brings out the best in people. Yet my dealings with Stone Mill and Seneca Creek 50k have surpassed my expectations. The volunteers were not just there to help - they were there to serve, cheer, encourage, show concern, kindness and compassion. Again exceeding already high expectations. Thanks guys - each and everyone one of you!
Yet what brightened my day the most and confirmed my faith in the all that is great about ultras and people in general was seeing the long, long hours of commitment displayed by Doug Sullivan and Harvey Sugar and their crew-  from well before sun-up to (very) well past sundown it seemed their enthusiasm and work ethic never waned. And to top it off they kept the finishing line up until the very last runner rolled through - even past the official cut-off time - showing concern and patience well beyond the call of race director but what we should expect from runners honoring their fellow runners. And that right there is what makes this race so special. Thank you guys.


Eric

Brief Note Before Bed

A brief update befire bed - my first objective was achieved: I ran happy. And I did PR. But I didn't go sub 11. I think I could and should have but took a few wrong turns that added on the miles. Next year. As for this year - I PRd in every distance from 5k to 50 miles and I'm happy about that. Lets see if this trend continues!

Peace,
Eric

Race Priorities

Tomorrow is the Stone Mill 50 Mile Endurance Run - my second year on the course and my third 50. It promises to be a beautiful day with temperatures in the low to mid 50s through the day. My hope for for a sub 11 hour finish -10 anything would be fine. I have the legs for it and we'll see if tomorrow is the day for it. Regardless I plan on running happy and if necessary - walk happy. When all you ask for is a beautiful day on the trails and friendly people to share it with -than it will be very hard to be disappointed. I have my goal. I also have my priorities.

Good luck to all who are running Stone Mill and JFK tomorrow!

Eric

Responibility, Forgiveness and Letting Go of Harmful People

Sometimes it seems it's best to let things go - things and people. In the end, it's the clinging to false ideals and expectations that cause our suffering. The Buddha would tells us that's it's grasping at illusions that causes our emotional distress and A Course In Miracles would agree telling us that only love is real and nothing unreal exist. That thought takes some pondering but when it hits home it's a powerful truth. And that's the real lesson of forgiveness - forgiving the unreal and forgiving ourselves for believing it as real. That's what gives us freedom. For many - forgiveness is a passive issue - a simple turning of the cheek to only to be struck again. True forgiveness is karma yoga in it's highest form, it's a living and active force and takes us out of harms way because we are no longer stuck in a reactive situation. We are responsive - or responsible (able to respond in a proactive manner) It's time now for me to forgive and allow harmful habits and relationships to fall away. It's time to be responsible - and let go.

Peace,
Eric

Vegan Racing

My third year of racing as a vegan is approaching - I'm feeling strong and racing more often at a higher level. Recovery seems to be the biggest accomplishment as a vegan, I recover quicker and that allows me to train harder and more often. The key is to be very mindful to what the body is telling us - the new strength and energy can easily lead some tweaks and aches from an eagerness to increase miles- so we need to back off accordingly. I still fall prey to substitute vegan meals more often than I would like - it's the same as relying on carryout or 'hamburger helper" for non-vegans. Again it's a case of being mindful - notice the difference these meals make in health and energy and change as needed. A little may be fine but when I little is consumed often it leads to trouble. This year I have Pr's in races from 5k to 50k and hopefully will add a 50 mile PR to the list this Saturday. Next year I'll test myself on a 100 mile course. I'm excited for what the future holds and I hope everyone takes the time to care for themselves and join in the adventure of their lives as well.

Peace,
Eric

The Nature Of A Touch

There is only this
touch.

It's how we see...

As our eyes reach in a slow caress of
light...reflected by the fullness
of our desire.

We hear...

With the gentle stroke of whispers
falling soft across the
ears.

We inhale the fragrance of the world in a
long embrace of pleasure.

We taste...

With a subtle understanding of all that
passes through the lips.

It's how we touch.

As if we are fingers of the
soul...and heaven waits
beneath the senses.

There is only this
touch...

And all we ever need to
do...is reach.

 

~

 

 

`

Listening With The River

 

 

 

To sit and listen with the
river...

As a breeze whispers secrets
through the grass.

And birds sing nothing to the air but
the carried flight of their
expansion.

The river moves in stillness.

While I sit in the quiet motion of
my thoughts -

Listening with the river.

 

~

 

 

 

~

nothing is solid, and everything flows to its

own accord.

our life too is as a river...with

nothing held beyond its

moment.

 

 

 

 

 

`

Resentment

I'm having some trouble with resent lately. Life has left me feeling a bit emotionally raw recently, with wounds closer to the surface and my usual degree of detachment seems to be absent. A Course In Miracles tells us that there are no justified resentments and this is true. We can't justify them due to the damage they cause - too all parties concerned. It's a matter of taking responsibility - yes, even if we feel that the other party truly is to blame. You see how we feel and respond is up to no one other than ourselves. Our emotional health is our ow responsibility - and yet we grant others so much power and control over our emotional state. And then we blame everyone but ourselves - until too we lay blame at our own feet and the becomes more fuel for the flame of resentment. In Jungian psychology  they talk often of the Shadow - our individule and collective consciousness projected outward. Unrecognized the shadow can be quite a destructive force - yet acknowledged it becomes our greatest alley in our quest for emotional freedom. All that we view of the world is an extension of our interpretation of what we see and the labels we call them - it's not necessary the truth - just our interpretation of what the truth is. This wisdom is found in modern psychology , Toltec thought, and Buddhist psychology other schools of inner thought. When we are able to distinguish that what we see, hear and tell ourselves (and others) may not be the ultimate truth we have created a bit of emotional space in which we can recognize the shadow at work - and in this space forgive and let go of resentment. It's not easy - inner work seldom is - but for joy and freedom - it's needed.

Peace,
Eric

Ego

The way to joy, to true happiness is through the ego - and I mean straight through. The ego is never content with now and is always searching for the next object to grasp, or thought to cherish. There is no contentment for something so driven. And as we are so closely identified with the ego (we are not the ego) we cannot ever be happy for longer then the next ego need. Buddhism and A Course In Miracles are both wonderful systems for identifying and moving past the ego - they are road maps for the mind and heart. Both are open to be explored.

Peace,
Eric

My Heart Sutra (In Three Parts)

 

Before a whispered
word -
Emptiness waits to know
your lips.
And only then come to
form.

`

 

 

Emptiness does not give
way to form -
Every object is for the caress of
space alone.
And in return nothingness wraps
itself to the curve of
everything.
We are defined by this embrace.

 

 

`

 

 

So we meet...realized in
form -
and surrendered at
once as
emptiness.
With no becoming we are free to
exist within one another.
With no where to leave off we mingle
intimate at fingertips -
Space meeting itself as form in a
play of pure delight.
And in this moment we
simply are -
Form,
Emptiness,
And something more
entirely our
own.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Second Agreement

A very powerful book that greatly influenced me several years back - The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz - is back on my daily reading. Reviewing key lessons from A Course in Miracles and relearning (and applying) the Four Agreements reminds me of where my priorities must lay - and that's inward. I seem to have fallen far from my point of contentment and it's been a struggle to get back - of course that itself may be part of the trouble. Self contentment shouldn't be a struggle - but it too often is - until it isn't (if that makes sense) You see after every struggle the is a letting go and a sense of ease and grace that settles on the soul. Yet first we struggle. I'm not sure f we have too or if that is one of the agreements we have made with ourselves. And that brings me back to the Four agreements - here they are:

 

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word.
2. Don't Take Anything Personally.
3. Don't Make Assumptions.
4. Always Do Your Best.

It's the second one I seem to be struggling with right now - allowing the thoughts and actions of others to affect me. We're not really free until we have a sense of detachment from the roller coaster of our emotions. Note I didn't say we were free of emotions - but that there is an interior spaciousness that allows us to maneuver freely without being gripped by the power of our emotions. So I need to spend some time with this agreement (we make with our self) and cultivate my own sense of spaciousness again. It's time.

Peace,
Eric

Entwined

         


                                                 

                                              
                                                
Entwined...and through
eternity,
a single strand of
met desire.











`

Practice For A Lifetime

Forgiveness is essential. I have touched on this topic many times and will again many times more. Forgiveness is a pratice - a practice for a lifetime - and that is why I return to it so often. Greivences and resentment will follow us through life. Always. The world is growing closer and friction is ound to be a common occurance. From traffic mishapce to work and social misunderstandings we will rub some people wrong and others will do similair. Forgiveness is the promise of peace of mind. Forgiving others, forgiving ourselves and forgiving circumstances and situations that are simply out of our controll - it's a constant, meditative expereince - it's the recognition that peace prevails beneath the surface of all things artificial and as the Course In Miracles tells us all that is not love is not real. So why get upset over an illusion? Forgiveness is the return to reality. It is also why the Course states that we can always choose love over any situation - the Course is telling us that we can return to reality, we can return home. But first we have to choose forgiveness - it's the only doorway available.

Peace,
Eric

Theory Of Racing Relativity (As Applied To Stone Mill)

Reflecting on my goals for next weeks Stone Mill 50 I realized that, yes, they have grown in specifics, the main factors remains the same - finish and finish happy. There's not much more to ask for on a long race and anything else is really a bonus. I have trained well, I'm beginning to taper and I'm running stronger than ever before. A fast time, a PR is not an unreasonable expectation and I will certainly strive for it - but not at the expense of a happy run. Of course happiness and 50 miles is relative. Happiness and any race where one pushes beyond perceived limits is relative. So my theory of racing relativity is to push hard, smile often, thank the volunteers and offer encouragement to others, walk when needed, eat, smile some more and have fun. I'll call that a successful day.

Peace,
Eric

Election

Congratulations to President Barrack Obama! Democrat or Republican he is the leader of our country and his success is our success. I hope that we can all pull together to make this happen and that we contact our elected officials and let them know that this is what we wish. There is room for conservative ideas within a liberal agenda and liberal compassion within a conservative framework. We are condition to believe in terms of black and white while reality itself has many shades of grey. If we can focus our energy on common problems then shared solutions will be the end result. In two years we will face another election and in four we will chose a new president - regardless of party - lets give our future leaders something to work with and a solid foundation left behind.

Peace,
Eric

Endurance And Strength

Endurance is king. Praised as one of the highest of qualities by Buddha, St. Paul and social leaders such as Gandhi and the Reverend Martin Luther King. The ability to endure is inspiring in the breadth of what can be achieved in its nurturing. I have always been drawn to stories of great endurance and eager to test my own abilities to endure. From early outings of hiking, running and climbing to the sport of kettlebell lifting and now ultra running physical endurance has been a way of life for me. And the lessons we learn through physical means can rightly be applied to the emotional, mental and spiritual. As for the physical - here's what I have learned:
To endure we must be strong.
Seems simple doesn't it?
No explanation needed?
Maybe.
Yet it seems that many if not most endurance athletes tend to skip the strength training aspect or short change if they do hit the gym. Often I see endurance athletes take the same mentality to their strength training and do endless reps with a very light weight. Here's the thing with repetitions - we get enough reps running. What we need is strength. Not powerlifting strength, not bodybuilding strength or physique - just simple strength to allow us to run and move strong and do what we do best - endure. I'm a big fan of Pavel Tsatsouline's work, especially Power To The People and Easy Strength (along with Dan John) it's a very simple, low volume approach to strength that won't break an athlete or leave them too sore to perform their activity or sport. I use this approach with deadlifts and overhead press and throw in some extra stuff for fun (kettlebell swings, snatches, pullups, curls) 15-20 minutes and I'm done and out the door for my run. Of course this is only one approach - legendary running coach Percy Cerrutty has a great training circuit that can be found on line as does modern Triathlon guru Phillip Maffatone. The key is simple, effective and low volume. Endurance will always be king. And the stronger we are - the greater we endure.

Goal

We're not far from New Years - one or more goals left for this year and it's time to move on to what 2013 offers. As always I hope to run farther and faster - I also hope to run deeper - deeper within myself into a state where running truly becomes an extension of spirit. It's possible - the Hopi Indians of the American southwest would run towards the Pacific ocean seeking a vision. The Marathon Monks of present day Japan run a marathon a day for a 100 consequative days before eventually double that mileage. In almost every culture there is a history of seeking enlightenment, visions and peace of mind through the simple act of running or distance hiking. Modern day pilgrims ahve used the Appalachain Trail as their quest and crusade for generations now. This year mine will be 100 miles along with shorter events as well. My goal this year is to transform my body into something it is not (not quite) yet - and that is a body with a sole purpose to cover great miles.
It should be a fun year!

Have a vision for this year and feel free to share it!

Eric

Election

It's almost over - the 2012 Presidential Campaign is almost over. I think by reading my post most can tell which side of the political bed I wake up on - so we won't discuss politics in a "us vs. them" context - at least not today and at least not this close to election day. Let me just say that whoever wins, whoever has the privilege and honor to lead and serve this country - may he lead and serve us all as one. It's time for unity not just in word but in deed and action. With each potential president there will be decisions made that we agree and disagree with - may these choices be made with clear eyes and an understanding heart and may we - as a nation - understand that these descions were not made lightly nor easily. May we get the Government we deserve and may we truly deserve the best.

Peace,
Eric

Promise

It only takes a few words written on a page, a scribbled note, or thoughts arranged in poetic form. The promise to myself - made over ten years ago - was to write. Everyday. Without fail. And I have - sometimes poems, essays or stories and sometimes it was just a few hurried words on a scrap of paper. Sometimes I found the words beautiful and inspiring but more often not so much - yet they all fulfilled the promise. You see it only takes one thing to make a writer - I'm doing it now.
Promise kept.

Peace,
Eric

Not That Dedicated

I am less dedicated than many would imagine - not that I am not dedicated - but people assume that running ultras, working out, being a vegan, writing, meditating, takes a great deal of focus and commitment. It does and it doesn't. At this point in my life all of these things are second nature and a part of my life I enjoy tremendously. They're (almost) always fun to do - not always easy - but always enjoyable to me. Of course there are times when I would rather listen to music or watch TV then to write, or sleep in instead of meditating or running - and that's were dedication comes in. But because I know I will feel better after doing what I love - it's easier to make that tough choice of getting out of bed. Find something you are passionate about and dedicate yourself to THAT. Everything will be easier.

Peace,
Eric

Ash

                                    
                                      

I have surrendered
to your fire,
And burnt -
I come alive as nothing more
than ash.
And scattered by some Holy breeze,
I now reach every
Part
of
You.








`

Meditation and Reduced Mileage

Reducing mileage this week and then tapering begins next week - not my favorite part of training. Reduced mileage often means increased stress as I lose part of my "safety valve" for stress management. Fortunately meditation more than helps in this regard and can be a runners best friend even in the none tapering times. Running is stressful on the body and no more so when mileage is high for race preparation - cortisol (stress hormone) is high and the immune system can be suppressed. Meditation has been clinically shown to reduce cortisol, boost the immune system and bring blood pressure under control. Combined with running it's the perfect recipe for health and well being. Try it - you really won't regret it!

Peace,
Eric

Dedication

Running takes dedication and at the same time a sense of abandon - a willingness to leave virtually everything behind and give ourselves to the singular sensation of motion. Of course these is a complicated and intimate communication of feedback going on between our minds and bodies. We don't want to dismiss the message of pain due to injury. We want to be an observer - to allow the feedback to flow unimpeded through our minds until there is a reason to respond. That's the trick to meditation - it's not to cease thinking altogether but to observe the thoughts flow through the mind without taking "ownership" of them. It's also a key point to peace of  mind - we simply don't have to believe everything we think just because we think it - let it go, let it go. Thoughts flow by and still we give ourselves to motion, to the ground and awareness to our surroundings without the need to "take issue" with whatever comes our way. A rock, a stick, a curb are all part of our run, all part of our awareness and we run with the faith that this magical flow of motion we are tapping into will handle each encounter with an innate wisdom bred countless miles inherited through the genes of those who ran before. We are born for this.
Dedication is getting out the door.
The rest is who we are.
Runners.

Prayers

In the wake of Hurricane Sandy let me send prayers to all who were touched by this storm. There will be grace in the rebuilding as communities, neighbors and strangers come together to renew their homes and regain what was lost. It won't be easy and grief will be always near -yet this is where that grace is found - in the steps towards a brand new day.

God Bless,
Eric

Books

I've been thinking about the books I've read early in my life that have had a profound and lasting affect. I'm sure we all have read a few - or more then a few. Here are some of mine:
Huckleberry Finn - Leaving town life for high adventure on the Mississippi River. My mother gave me her copy, the one she received as a Christmas present from her parents in 1936. I still own and cherish this copy and the love for this book still lives in my heart thanks to my mother. As a matter of fact my love of books is due to both my parents and their early encouragement.
Which brings me to my next (3) books -
Betty Zane, Spirit Of The Border, The Last Of The Plainsmen (The Borders Series) - when my dad got tired of seeing me re-reading Huckleberry Finn for the who knows how many times he gave me a copy of his childhood favorite - Betty Zane. A true (for the most part) tale of early frontier adventure during the border war of the American Revolution. Zane Grey wrote three books in this series and they remain favorites. These first two (and more to follow) really fueled my early love for the outdoors and the adventure it offered. After Zane Grey I later moved on to reading (and re-reading) every Louis L'Amour paperback I could get my hands on to - sometimes reading two or three at a time. I still return to these books as "easy reading" pleasures for flights or anything that may involve a long wait. The adventures still ring true.
A note on Zane Grey - he seemed to be a family passion as I have books that belonged to my father as a child and great uncles on both sides of the family. All loved the outdoors.
I no longer remember the title but I read a biography of Dan Beard - founder of the American version of the Boy Scouts that really helped grow my love of camping. Along the same lines I read a biography of Samuel Colt (Sam Cold And His Gun?) that sparked an interest in science and experiments that got me in a little trouble - especially my homemade gunpowder testing. Adventure stories (Frontiersmen, Mountain Men, Cowboys, Indians) and biography of scientist all were part of my pre-teen reading. I lived for weekly trips to the library and then getting out to relive these adventures on my own.
In middle school I read Roots, Centennial, Rich Man Poor Man, The Holocaust and my first Stephen King Novel (Salem's Lot) and have re-read all in later years with equal enjoyment. It amazes the lasting impact a great story can have. That's just a few - I'll share more ad feel free to share your own list!

Eric

Objective

The goal is to write. The purpose is to express. The hope is to create. And that's the singular objective of this blog. To educate, inform, and entertain are all possible outcomes. They cannot be counted on though. All I can count on is that I will sit in front of my computer and I will face an empty screen. In 5 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour....there will be words there. I will be pleased. Not from what I wrote (although I may indeed like it) but that I have written. Everything else is a bonus.

Peace,
Eric

100 Miler Back In The Plans

The 100 mile ultra goal is back on. After the not getting into Umstead for the second year in a row it was hard to get excited about the possibility of a different 100. The closes I got was thinking about Laurel Highlands 70 - which runs like a 100. I still hope to run that in June but I new ultra, very close to home will off me my best shot of 100 this upcoming April. I'll take an easy 1-2 weeks after Stone Mill 50 (November 17th) and start gearing up for the 100. I'm excited (again!)
Stay tuned,

Eric

Simplicity

Simplicity. More and more it seems to me that this one word holds the key to a happier, more meaningful life. Simplicity in diet, exercise, lifestyle and needs - to want less and own little. There is much that we may desire but actual little that we truly need and perhaps a clear distinction between the two would cause a world of difference in not just how we live our lives but how long we live our lives. Author Dan Buettner discusses this in his book Blue Zones and it's a fascinating read. Of course simplicity doesn't necessary mean swearing off all luxuries of life. Or even most luxuries. It means paring down to the essentials and then living a life where meaning takes precedence over possessions. It means happiness, true happiness is our priority. Simplicity is the doorway to spirituality. Every major religion teaches though and none perhaps so eloquently and succinctly as the Tao Te Jing. The Tao itself is the way to simplicity. The Tao is simplicity.
So in our busy lives where the vast majority may not wish to give up their possessions and flee to the forest to live a life of austerity - is there a means to a simplified life?  I think so. I hope to find to find it.

Peace,
Eric

Endure

                                                

The Buddha praised endurance as a virtue. St. Paul told us that love endures all things. Since the dawn of time the ability to endure has brought us not only survival but civilization itself. Physical endurance provided food and safety - to hunt and gather food and flee our enemies. Emotional endurance allowed (and allows) us to love again after tragedy, to bounce back from loss and thrive once more. Endurance is king. And long may we endure.

Peace,
Eric

Hollowed Reed

And I am
As a hollowed reed
Swayed by life's most passionate
Winds - emptiness mourned
As solitary sound.


And yet I am
As a hollowed reed
Played holy by the whispered
Breath of God - a singular instrument
Within a symphony of sound.

I am
A
Hollowed
Reed.

 

 

~

In our truest self - there is no self but God. And only filled in temporary pleasures fleeting in their brush - we seek to leave this

world behind.

Until once more the self alone

exist

Love Endures All Things

Even as a child I loved the message from St. Paul's First Letter To The Corinthians. It spoke to me in a way that I am just now beginning to understand. Or perhaps I understood it more clearly as a child and its message was a whisper of truth that went beyond understanding. Sometimes children know things that we forget as adults. Sometimes love is one of those things. St Paul delivers no less then a divine formula for relationships - both spiritual and earthly. In the end they are equal and the same for without spirit there is no real love. St Paul makes that very clear. Here is his message -

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels,
but have not love,
I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers,
and understand all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains,
but have not love,
I am nothing. If I give away all I have,
and if I deliver my body to be burned,
but have not love,
I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind;
love is not jealous or boastful;
it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things. Love never ends;
as for prophecies, they will pass away;
as for tongues, they will cease;
as for knowledge, it will pass away. For our knowledge is imperfect and our prophecy is imperfect;
but when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away. When I was a child,
I spoke like a child,
I thought like a child,
I reasoned like a child;
when I became a man,
I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly,
but then face to face.
Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully,
even as I have been fully understood. So faith,
hope,
love
abide, these three;
but the greatest of these
is love.

~
Love endures all things. Beautiful and the one and only message of this whole blog. When we run with love - we endure.

Peace,
Eric

Faith In The Storm

Saint Francis urges in his famous prayer - "where there is hatred let me sow love". Wise words and I'm sure that if most of us witnessed an hateful act we would speak against it and condemn the action.We so often look outwards at the hateful acts shown by the media - war, crime, and abuse of all kinds - that we fail to see where hate is born - within. Within us all. Yesterday I was shocked to experience a flash of what I can only describe as pure hatred for someone, someone who I love and have had a relationship with. None the less in this one terrible moment I felt pure hatred for this person. My first experience of this and it was poison. The effects lingered and left me drained and angry with myself and the person. Of course we all posses the seeds of hate and of love - Buddhist say it is the seed that it most nurtured that becomes our nature. I can see what hatred would be nurtured - the ego urges justification for our resentments and forces us to look outward to the grievous harm that was dealt our way. It's powerful to feel wronged and to allow our anger to boil over into a rage. It's also harmful. The Buddha said that we are not punished for our anger but that anger itself is the punishment. The ill effects take a toll physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. We are left weaker. This is why Saint Francis says where there is hatred, wherever there is hatred, we must sow the seeds of love. And this begins the only place hatred exist - within. In the very depth of hatred there still lies a seed of love. Cultivate it. Slowly, tenderly yet surely. It will bloom even in a winters rage. It's the faith of even the tiniest seed.

Peace,
Eric

Detachment and Simplicity

It's time (for me) to contemplate a return to simplicity. Not by outer means or by eliminating objects (or people) from my life but through detachment. Detachment is often confused with emotional distance but that is far from being true. Real detachment allows one to truly and love and care without being burdened by the consequences of their actions - that being good or bad. A detached person acts from love and his/her own higher awareness and allows others the freedom to respond in the manner they are capable of within the given moment. It's possible. Yet not easy. Detachment is cultivated and a state to which one has to return to over and over again until the path of the heart is clear as the only path that allows true freedom. When we are caught up in our own reactions towards events, circumstances or people then we are victims of our own mindset. We don't choose - we react. Our goal should be to be responsive. A responsive allows for interior space and wise, loving action. A reaction is reflective of our lowest needs.
It's easy to sidestep this path, to allow our steps to take us elsewhere in a realm of reactionary behavior. It's also easy to step back on. The key is to remember the peace and freedom this path will offer. I'm watching my steps...and choosing wisely.

Peace,
Eric

Weight

When of the best things I have ever done was to take up ultra running in my 40's - it gave me new goals and challenges, a chance to spend hours outdoors exploring trails and new routes. It also changed my body and mind set away from a bodybuilding and lifting mentality of more is better. I still love lifting and always will - it's an important part of any athletic pursuit and is integral for maintaining muscle mass and strength as we age. Yet more isn't always better (OK still a little tough for me as I try to pound out more miles in faster times) More protein for more weights and more reps will lead to health trouble down the road. My father is there now with kidney damage from excess protein. It's not worth it for another inch on the arm or pound on the bench press. I've been there - a 220lbs powerlifter, a 190lb bodybuilder to a 170lb Olympic lifter - I have run the weight and weight gauntlet. And I enjoyed it all and who knows - maybe I will again. Of course in a healthier way then before. Right now my weight is in the 140lbs and I feel great - yes strength is down but I am a strong runner instead of a lifter who runs. Optimally I would like to get my strength back to a level of at least 2-3 years ago and I'm taking steps to get there. Meanwhile my running is strong and I'm meeting and exceeding my goals. There's not too much more one could ask for.

Peace,
Eric