Waking Early

Waking early: 

waking early to appreciate the silence, the world is hushed in slow activity of easing towards the day, and it seems that whatever sounds occur are quickly reclaimed by the morning's quiet hold. It's a sacred time, mystics commune with God at this hour, praying silent tones, listening to a voice residing in the depths of all things, a vibrations really, heard through their entire being, resonance. This is my time too, being a mystic at heart and a poet too, my prayer is to always go deep within the silence and emerge with a sense of beauty to convey, qualities that can never be truly translated into words, yet perhaps I'll be able to capture just a bit of their essence. 

but if not...it's enough to be part of this holy conversation.

in these hours I believe in angels, in faeries and elemental's, nature spirits with an urge to communicate their secrets to me. Everything is possible in the hours before dawn, and waking early is my promise to believe in the improbable, suspending doubt of a rational, solid world as my only reality, and lending myself to the pure vibrational means of exploring other worlds. This is the realm of imagination, not imaginary, as it's too real to be called anything other than an aspect of reality that's only known in certain hours - this is where stories emerge from, poets receive their best words from here, mystics and shamans are given holy visions, and musicians hear the inspiration for their songs. 

magic happens here.

and waking early makes us most available to know this realm. 

of course I might deny this later in the day, in more rational hours - but it's still early now, not quiet dawn as I write these words. Magic still lingers, my sense of everyday reality hasn't fully settled in my mind, and the realm of imagination remains near, almost reachable, but not quite, as the hours have progressed in distance towards the belief in a material world. 

tomorrow, waking early...

I'll dream once more. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Of Six Elements

Of six elements: 

we consist mainly of six elements, oxygen, hydrogen, nitrogen, carbon, calcium, and phosphorus - that's 99% of the human body, with five more elements rounding out the last 0.85%. These are also the common ingredients of the universe as well, of which 70% remains hydrogen left over from the Big Bang. Our bodies were forged from the dawn of creation, beyond ancient, as we existed with the birth of time itself, and space soon followed for our expansion. The universe is our story, from singularity to the agitation of energy that gave cause for a sudden burst of creation, space and time coming to creation, every star, planet, endless galaxies, all formed from the material of this event. 

of six elements we are arranged in such a way as to be unique in what we are, not just life, but a somehow aware human life, conscious of our own existence, able to ask important questions that lead to an understanding of how we came to be. We've done remarkably well with this, both science and philosophy offering explanations that continue to grow with further knowledge, building on its advancements and achievements, deepening with ever keener insights. 

yet we're never close to knowing why?

of six elements, perhaps randomly arranged, and now the universe is conscious of itself. 

why? 

and of course all we have is speculation, philosophies and stories told of our cosmology, all brilliant in their way, but always stories, fiction at their very best. No need for me to add to this, although I believe that poetry has a hint in explanation, an intuitive sense that the universe wants to hear its story poetically told, its origins beautifully recreated through the means of every art's display. That's just my best and latest guess, nothing more than further speculation, based only imagination. 

and yet? 

somehow imagination arises from the arrangement of six elements, and with this I'm able to offer poems and stories, to imagine great designs, drawing, painting, sculpturing things of beauty. I can't help but believe, if only through imagination, that this is exactly why...

of six elements,

an entire universe made,

and all for the sake of love and beauty. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Common Ancestry

Common ancestry: 

there's a common ancestry to the world, to the universe, everything, all being born from the creative burst of a singularity of existence, every element and particle of matter was created in just that moment. It's when we really came to be, our true birth from nothingness to here, an entire universe as our beginning. That how vast we are, how ancient, and more so, how connected - it all stems from that one creative moment, a fluctuation of energy giving cause for a great expansion. 

a desire to be more.

and so the universe came to be. 

that's our common ancestry, our shared origin story - we are literally the universe in continued expansion, a point of self-awareness within an ever greater mind. We consist of atoms existing since the dawn of time, our true bodies being 13.7 billion years old, beyond ancient, we are actually the birth of time itself, and even space came forth as our existence, the universe expanding through its own creative awareness and design. Our common ancestry is of this beginning and continues even now, each moment is created for the gain of self-awareness, furthering the expansion of the cosmos, the universe being delighted by its own sense of curiosity and awe. 

we are the universe in continuous self-discovery.

and so it seems we share a common ancestry, but really, we are simply a temporary arrangement of universal structure and design, our true self is so much larger than an individual life alone, we are the cosmos in expansion, existing as the very cause for space and time. 

we are the universe itself, creative by our nature...

delighted by our own sense of curiosity and awe. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Intimate Feel

Intimate feel: 

there's an intimate feel to holding a pen, writing - at one time, perhaps twenty years or so ago, everything I wrote was handwritten, usually on a yellow legal pad, and almost always illegible to anyone aside from myself, although often even I couldn't later decipher what was written. I never bothered practicing typing past my basic grade school lesson and long believed that as an instrument used for producing art that it lacked an intimate feel, an object that caused a true sense of separation between myself and what I felt was the holiness of words and the act of writing prose and poetry. A pen was hand held, deeply recognized by my body as an extension of the source of words and inspiration, an instrument delivered by the muse for sacred use alone. Writing felt comfortable, personal, an act of actual communication with something larger, greater, than myself. 

and now I use a keyboard, typing everything in almost continuous contact with the board, my fingers in a light caress of inspiration, motion, and then a pause for words to gather, fingers still held against the keys, patient, yet eager for the caress to carry on. It's just as intimate as before, maybe more so, kinetic, a swift connection of words and fingers with an easy grace between them. 

there's an intimate feel to typing, writing, my fingers are familiar with the keyboards now, I enjoy the feel of the keys raised against them, individual in their connection. Everything about writing is holy, it's a sacred art, an act of listening to the most subtle voice within us, receiving words, and then almost instantly sharing what was heard. There's an intimate feel to this communication, of reading what was given from the subtlest of voices, a whisper really, and now shared between us. 

it doesn't matter what instrument is used, it's only a sense of familiarity, what our fingers have grown used to in the ease of their expression. A pen feels almost foreign to me now, meant for notes and not for longer prose, it's as if I've lost my connection to its hold, no longer having the endurance of writing in this fashion. And now it's the keyboards that are familiar, my hands accustomed to their feel and energy, eager to give themselves to the motion of this writing. It's a different endurance. Yet writing itself is unchanged, still holy, always so, and any instrument used would eventually have an intimate feel, becoming sacred by its use, blessed by muse and inspiration. 

it's the act of commitment that produces such an intimate feel. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Quiet World

Quiet world: 

I write often of meditation, noting it's value and importance to me, how through the years it has become center to my creative life and what might be called my spiritual practice. Yet really, I should probably mention how little investment it truly is, a simple technique of mantra and listening, easy focus, and the more subtle nature of the mind just unfolds as my reality. Twice a day, I sit, think the mantra, and find myself in an evermore quiet world, nothing really mystical here, only my own silent nature now shown prominent, and this is all that happens...

just a quiet world.

and so much comes from this, I find myself more centered in a true creative process, seamlessly being part of a greater expression than my own smaller talent, writing is a joy, with words easily flowing from those silent moments found through meditation. I am less reactive now to things that once disturbed, being responsive, more thoughtful and intuitive to my approach with others, with life. More so, my self-compassion has grown, finding a real love existing as my core, readily expressed to my own sorrow and times of deep depression. This is now what I'm able to offer the world, what I give to others in the best of my relations. My true self is all the more accessible, readily shown now. I'm more at ease within the world, relaxed, at peace with every aspect of myself. 

yet even if none of this were so, or perhaps not found stemming from my meditation practice, it really wouldn't make a difference, not the slightest, as my only true point of sitting are those silent moment, that quiet world that's always so inviting. That would be enough, simply sitting, allowing life to happen without my thought-filled interference...simply, only, sitting...

just a quiet world.

~

Peace, Eric 

Conscious Expression

Conscious expression: 

the question really isn't one of consciousness, of asking if it's a function of biology or built into the very fabric of the universe itself - it would seem the answer is both, that we are a biologically conscious expression of the universe. Perhaps the question better asked is how deeply are we aware of this connection? 

everything is the stuff of the universe, our biology functions and consists from remnants of the Big Bang, elements from the very first moment of creation. That we are conscious is a reflection of this creation, again it's the fabric of the universe, at no point is there any cause for separation. 

it's all just the universe, one thing, a conscious expression...because we are.

we are the thinking universe, not simply an aspect of it, not individual parts that serve in some small and insignificant way - no, what we are is the entirety of it all, the whole cloth, we are the universe by design and function, serving in its continuous evolution. 

it's simply what we do.

in this light it's seen that we are not some small idea, we're not accidental in our occurrence, that we somehow simply appeared within the world without cause or reason - it's all far too inspired for this to be so, we are too grand of an idea by our own design. It's not really even a question, we know that we are conscious and that we are made of universal material, substance of the very same stuff as stars and planets, of space itself. We are the source of consciousness through every measure of our biology, by the physics of our existence, and with even the first hint of our potentiality.  We are a conscious expression of the universe - in no way removed from the entirety of what we are. 

 ~

Peace, Eric 

Allowing Mind

Allowing mind: 

my practice is important to me, a sacred time really, and not because of what it promises nor any state it might brings me to - no, meditation is just a few moments of the early morning, and again later in the day, completely dedicated to an allowing mind, or perhaps said, to simply noticing this always present allowing mind. It's my time to sit, unconcerned by what I'm thinking, my mantra leading me to more subtle layers of conscious recognition, everything familiar here, and yet fresh and unexplored as well, as if it's new ground I've somehow covered once before, a paradox of remembering an ever changing place of home. To sit, gentle with the mantra, soft, and everything's allowed, whatever thoughts appear, an outside sound, nothing is a true disturbance now...

everything belongs. 

and this is just my time to notice, relaxed. and not push anything away that makes itself known. There's always the return to my mantra, but it's an easy approach, not used as a weapon against intruding thoughts or sounds - as nothing is really seen as an intrusion anymore. The mind allows, that's its deepest nature, a quite and allowing place that's simply unconcerned as to all that passes on the surface. An ocean's depth is often a metaphor that's used, the undisturbed stillness of it's floor, without care to any waves above that crest and fall, untouched by their motion. 

it's an apt description. 

so my practice is just a point of dedication, it's here that I sit and listen to a seamless world, with my thoughts no different than any other sound - I'm listening to it all, and deeper still the mantra takes me, an ocean's depth, a stillness so intimately known that it actually aches to return here, so familiar, and yet often lost, forgotten for the length of time between my sitting. What I find is that I remember this more frequently now, or really, that it's not lost at all and only dims in the course of a regular day, being less drawn to waves of my daily routine, an ocean's floor still even as the day hurriedly unfolds. 

that's my practice, it's not meant for anyone's approval, not even my own, it's simply what I'm drawn to, happily so, a sacred time, quietly sitting, allowing...home. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Pure Potentiality

it's not that words are already present, yet they're not really absent either - what I have right now is the pure potentiality of this moment, a page that appears empty and yet holds the promise of every word's expression, everything that's ever meant to be written is existing now, at once, and right before my typing fingers. It's almost as if I only need to begin writing and the words instantly appear, already gathered to be written and my only role is their arrangement on the page. That's what every artist does, trusting in the process of creation, holding site of their work's completion at the very moment of their start, but without concern of how this expression will unfold. 

trusting in the pure potentiality of their moment.

and that's how art is created, more so, everything is viewed as art, every smallest aspect of the world and even the infinite stretch of the universe as well. It's all art, not separate works, not small pieces presented by individual artist through their pride - but the entirety at once, seamless in display. The universe is art, creativity itself in the motion of its greatest work. 

pure potentiality. 

this is what we're part of, it's what we belong to, creation in process, and we're somehow granted a certain grace with our expression, given a definite sense of our ability to participate in this great design. We're artist within the larger framework of an infinite work of art, participants as well singular brush strokes currently displayed. Belonging to this, as a conscious participant of creation, my personal tools are writing, yoga, meditation,  it's all a self-inquiry into the very essence of this design. I am less interested in what words conveyed as I am in the instant  just before they're told, that moment of pure potential where every story exist at once, everything is, and isn't, being both at once up to the exact moment the universe collides in its commitment of display. 

I see it all right now, the emptiness of the page, words urging their appearance...the pure potentiality of this one and only moment. 

now.

so I give myself to writing. 

and words appear. 

~

Peace, Eric 

A Meaningless World

A meaningless world: 

lesson 14 in A Course in Miracles workbook states that God did not create a meaningless world -it's been well over a decade since I have given the course any serious consideration and yet this lesson seems to play through my mind more often than all the others, almost an inquiry of its own and often giving cause for me to ponder its implication. These lessons build on one another, a theme, and each one leads to a greater understanding of ourselves, God, and the world as they precede through the workbook. So it may not be helpful to consider one lesson in isolation, without understanding how we've been led to this particular statement, a declaration that God did not create a meaningless world. 

each proceeding lesson builds on this theme, asking us to first consider the room around us, whatever objects catch our eye, briefly studying it before we state that it has no real meaning other than what we assign it. That's the crux, being that any meaning assigned to the world is of our own doing, not of God, but that everything has been given its value through our own thinking. It's a meaningless world, at least in and of itself, without any inherent significance until we've decided so. 

that's the beginning of the lessons, leading us now to number 14 and understanding why God did not create a meaningless world. 

it's because the world is ours, not of God's creation but entirely our own affair. 

in Course understanding it would be because God doesn't create separation, there is nothing outside of love, and that the world we live in is mind-stuff, our creation of meaning and value, having little to do with the way of love. The Course goes on to teach us another way to see the world, or perhaps better said, of seeing through the world to the only meaning God intended. 

only love is real. 

I'm not a real student of the Course, not any longer, although I appreciate the lessons and what the teachings brought me at an important junction of my life. I'm a happier person now because of my years of study. A year ago I reread Albert Camus's The Myth of Sisyphus with his allusion of being stripped of all meaning, of the realization of a meaningless world, we are faced with the absurdity of our situation and left with only two rational options - to take our own lives out of desperation, or complete surrender to the absurd, embracing the world and all it offers without need of meaning or design. 

finding happiness exactly now, however things are...

exactly as they are, 

there are other philosophies that grant us the role of assigning meaning, that we are essential to the world for just this very purpose. We provide meaning to the world through virtue of our existence, by our beingness. It's what we do. It's who we are. 

really, it's all pretty much the same view, or so it seems to me, and in the end the meaning is entirely our own - God did not create a meaningless world, not in the sense implied here. What we see now is of our own creation, values, meaning, its all been assigned by the mind. We've created a world of meaning, not God, and our role is to continue this creation, a cosmology of our own design, realizing that only through love do we reach a true and real understanding of the world. 

and with this I agree complete with the Course...

only love is real. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Approached Poetically

Approached poetically: 

mainly, I write intuitively, almost everything is approached poetically, as to how it sounds to be read out loud, and with the flow of words as my chief concern. There is less worry here on opinion, on what anyone might consider to be there own sacred truth and that I've worded it differently than how they believe it should be told. I write my own insights and they belong only to the moment that I receive them, being already let go of by the time they reach the page. 

nothing I write is exactly so.

it's not a sacred truth.

but that it's approached poetically, an insight that has somehow been given words, and that my only real goal here is art, beauty in a sense, and that's what seems true to me - I write directly from whatever source that words appear from, listening as they gently break through initial silence, and this too is an art form that I'm committed to, just the listening. Even if I never write another word again there would still, and always be the listening itself, a sense of beauty found in the grace of being given words. 

and so my writing continues in this way, committed as much to silence as I am to words, listening, writing to appeal to my own sense of beauty. This is my art, another form of meditation, prayer really, as it's almost a conversation with something divine, holy, a deep silence within me that somehow receives the grace of every word. I've little interest in any truth outside this realm of art and beauty, I'm not a seeker in need of outside guidance, no wish for a guru to advice me. I'm just a listener, a poet, someone who appreciates the gift of silent moment, and then grateful for any words that are received. 

it's all approached poetically...

everything. 

and that's my only real concern.

~

Peace, Eric 

Headless Cosmology

Headless cosmology: 

it's a headless cosmology, my origin story played out through both absence as well as my appearance, a continuous display of emptiness and fulfillment. This is a personal cosmology, an inquiry into my very own existence, noting the unique qualities that appear as thought and form, and then too an impersonal awareness that seems to hold it all within a seamless view. What's found in this investigation is a constant becoming of who I am, a Big Bang of my existence, at first headless and then the world appears, every detail simply finds its way here, a universe in the entirety of its creation. 

right here, noted and examined, lived.

my own headless cosmology. 

this is how it happens, but first it's approached with innocence, with having the curiosity to see what's real as well as holding to the possibility that our reality is very often different than it seems. Here's our origin story, our headless cosmology, and it's happening right now - that we have a head is only an assumption, evidence provided second hand from mirrors, photos, or a report received from others. We've never actually seen our own features, we've never witnessed the true colors of our eyes, or noted anything that even remotely could be called a face or head. Our investigation begins with looking, open minded, curios to see if this is so...

my description is here: 

looking now, retracing the line of vision from objects of the world to the source which holds the view - and nothing is found, emptiness, a true primordial place for my beginning. This is my personal emptiness, a spaciousness prepared for the arrival of my world, and it happens in an instant. That's the Big Bang, no metaphor of description, no theory, but that as soon as I note my own absence...a complete universe appears, this emptiness found to be an allowing place for my appearance. It's happening right now, a headless cosmology, continuous, an entire universe created from a single point of pure awareness. 

of course that's my own description, and I welcome yours, investigate, be curious, look now and tell me what you see...

a headless cosmology is here to be explored. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Prayer of Saint Francis

Passage meditation: 

my first serious commitment to meditation was with using Eknath Easwaran's passage meditation practice, a method of devotional concentration on a certain spiritual excerpt from a religious or inspired text that has stood out through time for it's deeply moving message. Using passages from the Bible, Bhagavad Gita, Upanishads, and other spiritual texts, most specifically The Prayer of Saint Francis - the student memorizes the words and slowly, silently, repeats them as if each word is a single mantra, allowing the meaning to sink within, the passage becoming a living part of us and shaping how we conduct our daily lives. It's a beautiful practice, leading to great stillness as the words fall away to a quiet mind. Easwaran believed that we become what we meditate upon and that a spiritual passage would lend itself to a higher quality of life. 

I believe so too. 

this is why Easwaran would recommend beginning with the Prayer of Saint Francis, committing to these words as the foundation of our practice. It's a prayer I turn to often, even outside the use in meditation, and through the years of practicing Passage Meditation, it's meaning has become a very real part of me, expressed in a very real sense through the actions of my life. 

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace...

the prayer opens with a request to be of service, to put our own desires aside for just a moment and be granted as use for a more peaceful world. The genius of the prayer is that our own needs are met through service of others, it goes on in the same line of thought, asking for the ability to forgive and see light within others, to find hope through despair, and offer only love. With passage meditation the meaning of these beautiful words sink deep within and become a living part of us, expressed through our daily actions and concerns. 

this is a meditation that changes us from within, growing, becoming who we are - and it's something we seem to really need right now during this troubled time, a commitment to a greater peace, planting the seeds of forgiveness, love, and understanding others deep within our hearts and mind. Not everyone has a wish to meditate each morning, understandable, although the practice will only benefit our lives, it's a commitment that seems to find us only when we're ready. Yet the prayer itself is available now, Saint Francis words offers us a better way, a more compassionate way of living, and just a few minutes of gentle observation of their meaning is enough to change our lives. It's spiritual technology, a means and practice of transformation realized just by briefly reading and remembering its message. 

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace...

my own practice has changed through the years, I've committed to a mantra practice, sitting twice daily for an extended time, teaching others this method as well. But passage meditation remains a part of me, an extension of my deep desire to serve others, the prayer of Saint Francis ringing through my soul and being an essential part of every interaction. I return to these words often, the practice of passage meditation too, they're simply part of who I am now, what I truly wish to give to others. 

Where there is hatred, let me sow love...

~

Peace, Eric 

Our Personal Cosmology

Our personal cosmology: 

each moment is entirely of creation, an instant personal cosmology of our own affairs, and we can trace the origin of it's story all the way to the Big Bang and whatever came before. It's amazing to consider the infinite moments that have led to this, right now, and whatever is occurring. This is the universe, here, and at this exact point of our existence, the entire cosmos found even through the mundane events that seem to fill our days, we are a ripple in a vast cosmic field of intelligence, energy appearing as a structure. Our personal cosmology is the story of a universe in creation, our ancestors being once brilliant stars exploding with the potentiality of this very moment. 

and in the same fashion we will carry on, something of our essence lasting past our personal existence, endless moments of continuous creation. We are always part of creation, always the universe in infinite redesign of our appearance. In this way we are truly immortal, not as personality, but as the very fabric of the cosmos, that we consist of the basic elements that shape the structure of the universe, existing even in the singularity from which all creation first emerged. 

the cosmology of Kabbalah states that creation itself is simply a thought crossing through the mind of God, and that indeed the universe is all mind stuff, conscious by virtue of belonging to a greater consciousness. This makes us us a self-aware thought within the mind of God, our essence being the same energy of all creation. It's awesome to consider, not just as a story, but that truly we are made of particles that existed at the dawn of time, that space itself expanded as our possibility. Our personal cosmology is no different than the science of creation, we find ourselves included from the Big Bang onward, carried through the creation of both space and time, evolving from a single celled being existing on an ocean's floor, emerging through simplest lifeforms to the more complex existence of who we are now - there is some intent here, an intelligence driven to a further creation. 

and we are part of it all. 

a creative thought belonging to the mind of God.

it's our personal cosmology of existence. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Our Own Philosophy

Our own philosophy: 

it seems that inquiry and meditation should free us of philosophy, that by simply asking certain self revelatory questions regarding our identity that we would arrive to a point of letting go of all that would restrain us - every philosophy is the school of someone else's opinion and doesn't really serve our search for freedom, nor does it provide any sense of lasting ease for the reasons of our pain and sorrow. Philosophy is just a temporary understanding of who we are at any instant, it's never a true, and has little value outside the moment we relate to it. Perhaps what we need is our own philosophy, personal, and one that we willingly surrender to the greater mystery of life, as each moment a new understanding arises only to be let go of, our every insight seen immediately as belonging to us alone, not meant to be shared as a hard lined truth of who we really are. 

our's would be a philosophy of letting go, of surrender...

of not knowing who truly we are.

and that all of life is mystery. 

our own philosophy would be one of only asking questions related to each moment, self inquiry without the need of usual answers, as silence itself being the most truthful place we're ever led to. With this, nothing could be written down, there would be no ideals to guide us, and no opinions to hold as worthy ones to follow. It would all belong only to the moment of our asking, a personal revelation, temporary in any truth provided, and always a return to mystery. 

and if as any time this becomes a true philosophy...

we would simply let it go. 

our own philosophy is always, only, of this very moment. 

~

Peace, 

Invitation Home

Invitation home: 

it's a  difference of experience, that meditation invites us to know our own essence, who we are in relation to the thoughts we hold, and how we are a silent, spacious witness to the mind, aware, and so seamlessly connected to the world. Meditation itself isn't a philosophy, although their are many schools of thought that surround its practice, but what it truly is...is just an invitation home.

it's simply sitting, being, and the experiences that unfold. 

and that's what we really are, beingness, always in process of experiencing ourselves through whatever life offers. Our invitation home is only a return to essence, remembering this, and no longer confusing ourselves with the busyness of our current lives. We are witness to it, but more so, seamlessly, we are every experience as well, a deep participant, and not removed from any aspect of the world.

our invitation home is to relax to this, our essence, right now. 

and that's meditation. 

it seems now that modern philosophy, and so often the current study of consciousness, removes itself from this participation, or at least attempts to, leaving things as abstractions, distant, and not believing that it's already involved in the world, everything, and neither science nor philosophy is the exception. Nothing is removed from consciousness. This isn't necessarily stating a panpsychism view of the world, but only reaffirming ourselves as participants, not ever once removed, and that philosophy and the study of consciousness is simply and always the study of who we are.

no exceptions possible. 

if we ask ourselves who we are, a deep consideration taken - the answer is instantly provided, revealed, immediately as all that's going on right now, seamless, our own involvement shown as well. That's the philosophy of the moment, our invitation home, and the only study of consciousness that's ever truly accurate. What we are can only really be known as participation, a community of conscious structure where everything belongs. Meditation, inquiry, is this experience...

it's our invitation home. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Without Philosophy

Without Philosophy: 

it's really to the point of being without philosophy, and this includes religious thought too, relying now entirely on my own way of seeing the world, the simplicity of being alive and not having the need to know anything as certain, holding my every point of view lightly, easily, and without asserting any lasting value or meaning. This isn't to imply that I see the world as meaningless, far from it really, I see everything with a quality of information, a story, but that this is just the meaning I hold as prominent in the moment, a fresh idea to all I'm seeing, innocent of the ways I've viewed the world before. 

without philosophy. 

there's value in philosophy, and I've spent a lifetime gathering the thoughts of others, we all have, and for me I've found myself mostly partial to Eastern schools, yogic lore, Vedic wisdom, and Buddhist methods of inquiry. Everything was useful, to a point at least, up until the very moment that it was all surrendered to an easier way of seeing the world, my own way, one that always provides me with all the information that's ever really needed, momentary, always ready, available, now. 

it's been important for me to separate technique and methods from any school of philosophy, that my meditation practice be free of expectations, my inquiry without dogma, and that these are simply tools to aid the mind. They only have the value I've assigned them, and they are useful as a means of allowing me to let go of all the beliefs I've accumulated through a lifetime. They are tools without philosophy and it's through their use that I've gain the freedom to let go, surrendering even the means and methods that have brought me here, resting now purely in the moment and whatever thoughts or meaning it may hold, knowing that within an instant another story will be told. 

this isn't a freedom from anything, I'm not removed from thought or stories, not even from philosophies,as everything is included in this freedom, nothing can be denied here by virtue of it's appearance...whatever is found present now...belongs. I'm not really without philosophy, but I am free of any lasting hold it may have on me, free to simply be however the world finds me. Just free. 

easily so. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Ultrarunning

Ultrarunning: 

largely, and at this point in my life, I feel that I'm retired from ultrarunning, a sport I loved and trained for passionately for well over a decade. It's time has past for me, although I never rule out the possibility of its pursuit again, but for now, the fire needed to train for distance, the desire to race with and against others, just isn't there. I'm okay with it, my life has always been in cycles of interest, each pursued with an intense, singular passion. My love of fitness, roaming through nature, and even distance, remains the same, and this is why I don't discount the possibility that I'll tow the starting line once more - yet it's not a thought I really entertain right now, the idea isn't foremost in my mind at all. Really, I simply feel a chapter's closed, for many reasons, some I'm not sure I will understand - I'm moving on. 

for me, my love for ultrarunning was born from sorrow, the loss my mother through stages of Alzheimer's and then a sudden, unexpected death, my marriage ending as a lingering wound, such a constant point of suffering with no sure avenue of escape, and so much more too, it was the literal dark night of both mind and soul. And distance running saved me, first the long hours spent on the trails, simply being deep in the woods of my own pain and joined by the welcoming presence of trees and streams, sighting deer in a quick run of their own, and for a length of time feeling an ease of pressure, a true sense that I belonged and was at home in nature. The sport of ultrarunning was different though, it still offered me the welcoming grace of nature, but also a community, liked minded people who found their own way here through whatever stories life had offered. 

we all belonged here, welcomed, equal in our stories. 

mostly this hasn't changed, I have lifelong friends gained from the sport of ultrarunning, the community still welcomes, and so many reached out with love and concern with the loss of my father, soon to be a year gone, and his death still felt sharply. Because of the miles we've shared, due to the great distances we've covered, often together, but mostly alone, and I think it's that aspect that's become our common bond - we've all traveled the dark trails of mind and body, navigated our discomforts, faced the deep loneliness of our travels, and have come to the other side, if maybe only for a temporary stay. We've all suffered our aloneness, and this is what bonds us. 

and it doesn't matter if I race again. 

the bond is always there now. 

the age of Covid has changed for me, and for many others too, perhaps for most of us and we've yet to realize the depth of these changes. As well, my father's death has given me cause to withdraw even further, embracing an ever present sense of loneliness and spending long hours in the quiet nature of my mind, still a true wilderness to me even now, spacious, and welcoming as any forest trail. It seems ultrarunning remains my essence, always the love roaming great distances, even if now they mostly unfold through my mind, through hours of quiet meditation, exploring an ever growing length of inner stillness. This is where I find myself now, uncertain for how long, but equally determined to know this distance. 

perhaps at heart and by my very nature...

I'll always remain an ultrarunner. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Field

Field: 

the secret is revealed in chapter 13, it's then that Arjuna asks Krishna about the nature of the Self, to please share the reality of who we really are, to provide knowledge of that which seems to stay changeless through a world of change and motion. What Arjuna is asking about is awareness, the eternal witness of both mind and world, and Krishna's answer is that the body is a field of energy and knowledge, and that what we truly are is the knower of all that it displays, being the ceaseless observer of life as it unfolds through its every turn of grace and mystery. 

here, the field isn't just our physical body, it's the world, and all that it's composed of, our larger body really, an extension of who we are as owners of the field. This is pure energy, seamless, a description of reality in it's finest essence, vibrations acting along vibrations through infinite design. It's the universe, an endless, cosmic field. 

and we are the knower of the field.

aware.

witness to our own sense of being. 

my favor description is one of light, that consciousness provides illumination to all that appears within its hold, and that most truly its embrace is endless, seamless, with everything simply being an appearance of this light shown in manifest form. The world, life, is consciousness created and displayed and at once, somehow, easily observed. 

it's a beautiful description. 

and honestly, I have no idea if this is so, if I take Krishna truly as his word, or even if my own interpretation is correctly known. What I do know, or at least seem to gather through my own hours of quiet meditation, is that when my mind eventually settles to a deep and lasting stillness - here, the world appears, yet somehow different now, an extension of this quiet field, my own mind being shown to me, witnessed, and that all of life seems to arise from this easy point of observation. I have no idea if this is true, if this is really how consciousness originally appears and shows the world. 

it's enough to just rest in this awareness...

whatever it truly might be.

or if it's even true at all. 

and allow the field to simply be.

~

Peace, Eric 

The Question Now

The question now: 

and just previously I wrote of how we meditate, detailing the process of thinking the mantra in a gentle and easy fashion, allowing our own internal silence to unfold, listening, simply listening and nothing really more. That's how we meditate, or at least the basic method briefly told. The question now is why, why should we meditate at all, what's the purpose of sitting for an extended time listening to the vibration of a strange sounding phrase or words? 

there's no reason, not really...

but we do it because we're drawn to it, that we possess a deep desire to hear the true silence of the soul,and knowing that somehow beneath our thoughts there is a stillness unmarred by the busyness of the world. We're drawn to know ourselves, deeply so, and meditation is the means we've come to, for whatever reason it's now our path. 

it just is. 

and the reason is mostly a mystery. 

or at least it is for me.

the question now is why, why are we drawn to meditation? And asking this will always provide a near endless list of varied answers, none of which satisfy us as completely true; with each answer being a complexity of reasons, an infinite course of action has led us here and that's all we know for sure. There is never a certainty in asking why, science itself provides no firm basis for reasons of why things happen, relying mostly on an explanation of how and leaving any reasoning to the realm of philosophy and religion. As for meditation - we can simply do the same, there is no one and certain answer, or at least not one that can be relied upon if we ask ourselves this question sincerely. 

or any question, really.

the question now is why, why are we drawn to meditation? 

and the only answer is...

simply because we are. 

~

Peace, Eric 

How We Mediate

How we meditate: 

the mantra is just another thought, and yet it's the one we give our preference too, returning to it as often as remembered, favored to the point that other thoughts soon fall away to an underlying silence. That's how we meditate, just a gentle repetition of words that hold no actual meaning, but simply selected for the value of their vibration, resonance, and how the mind responds to this with a subtle ease of listening, relaxing, and deeply so. It's not a chant, there's no altered state of consciousness other than a return to our natural state of mind, our true home, clear, open, and allowing. 

that's how we meditate. 

there are other methods of meditation, different means of calming the mind, or reaching insights of deep, profound meaning. But the mantra is the path of vibration, listening as it play through the mind in a gentle, easy fashion, until we slip within the space found between repetitions, the always present gap between the mantra and any other thought that passes. The gap is silence, pure, inviting - it's where we belong. Most importantly is that it's not something we achieve, it's not a place earned, nor reached for by our effort. 

meditation happens on its own. 

 our only role is to think the mantra, giving silent voice to its vibration, allowing the quiet nature of the mind to unfold with ease and wonder. That's how we mediate, or perhaps it's better said that that's how meditation happens, through the grace of simply listening, easily so, and with the mind responding, relaxing to the mantra's sound, resonating to its vibration. Meditation is a process, a journey from here to here again, and yet the quality of our presence is different now, more attuned to the frequency of others, to life, and how the world unfolds and everything flows in beauty, love, and wonder. Meditation shows us that we are this process, occurring now, always now, and all we need to do is notice, just notice and nothing more...

and that's how we meditate.

~

Peace, Eric 

Largely Unconcerned

Largely unconcerned: 

 really, I remain largely unconcerned by all the things I'm told that meditation won't accomplish, and mainly, that it doesn't lead to an awakened state of mind. That seems to be the lead argument in certain circles and I won't deny their salient point, as truly, meditation doesn't lead to anything, there's no purpose here, no real end point or goal - not even for awakening. There's no reason to meditate other than being drawn to sit and watch the world unfold, seamlessly so, as what was once believed to be my own personal inner world is now seen as a single view. 

there is simply, and only, the world. 

life.

and meditation is my point of notice, a quiet place for this to happen, and I am content to sit and allow the world to unfold within me, throughout my entire frame of reference, largely unconcerned by my own thoughts and opinions of how it all should happen. I enjoy my time just sitting. Being an observer and participant at once, not needing, nor even wishing, to accomplish anything more. 

just sitting...

listening.

largely unconcerned by anything at all. 

the world simply, easily, happens on its own. 

perhaps this is why early zen master Dogen considered meditation to be enlightenment itself,the act of sitting being it's own moment of awakening. Dogen believed that enlightenment was inherent by existence, through all of nature, everything being part of a grand and continuous awakening, each moment, and that meditation is a process of knowing this, deeply so, consciously participating with the cosmic flow of the world because that's exactly what we truly are. Meditation is ordinary mind, it's what I return to by sitting, listening to my mantra play through my mind...

largely unconcerned where it may lead me. 

happy, right here, without need of anything more. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Provided

Provided: 

embraced by early morning, instantly, without any effort for our acceptance - and this is how we wake up each day, loved, no judgments carried over from the past, no conditions given to earn this current day. It's that easy, life provides for our existence, everything else is details, things to be sorted out by the mind, projects that keep us busy, distracted, and all the while we're surrounded by the infinite gifts that the day has provided...with life itself being foremost.

this is how it happens everyday, we wake up to the grace of each morning, gifted really, immediately accepted and renewed, Our first thought should almost always be of thank you, no matter how we may have grieved the day before, no matter yesterday's sorrows. We've been given this day, truly a gift, and it's new, innocent, ours to realize with fresh experiences, 

our very existence has been provided for, and we have no sure idea how this has happened, or why, it's simply a gift bestowed from mystery, one we receive each moment. More so, it's truly unconditional, and without any attachment to our past concerns. We're given today, a moment really, and it just appears, spontaneously, a life so full of grace and wonder. 

life has been provided.

we're embraced by early morning, by the light of a day's new promise...we're immediately accepted, provided for, instantly and completely being part of something larger, life, the ever changing moment. It's ours, we belong here, if only by virtue of our appearance, we are life itself awakening as a fresh experience. Yes, everything else is details, busyness, concepts and beliefs that keep us distracted from the miraculous gift of finding ourselves alive, simply being...

of how our bare essence has been provided for. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Faint Impression

Faint impression: 

and the mantra shows that silence can't be divided, every sound is simply a vibration held in its embrace, seamlessly so, with no true interruption to its hold. We think the mantra, just a faint impression really, no meaning to the words, but a frequency that carries us further into silence, drops us between the ordinary flow of thoughts to deeper consciousness. This all happens on its own, we're not replacing mundane thoughts with higher inspiration, each thought belongs to the moment it appears, we're only concern with the mantra, introducing it the mind, remembering it, listening...

a faint impression leading us deeper into an ever present silence.

that's meditation, how we use the mantra, an easy approach, natural. Mostly importantly is that little concentration is needed, no force of mind nor willpower. Every thought belongs, noticed lightly, and let go without concern. Even if we get caught within a whirlwind of thought that seems to be beyond control, a daydream, it doesn't matter at all. Returning always to the mantra, gently, and easily so. That's the vibration we give our notice, our soft attention, again being just a faint impression - and it's with this shift form ordinary thought to a finer level of vibration that we drop within existing silence, pure, deep, always present. The mantra simply leads us here...

home.

it's that easy, listening to the mantra, that faint impression - meditation is a completely natural shift of mind, that we notice thoughts without the distraction of their dismissal, allowing their presence even as we think the mantra. Nothing really changes, it's only that we now notice the mantra as well, vibrating without any meaning of its own, a frequency of silence growing ever fainter, urging us to follow, showing us a field of undivided silence. 

it's simply listening to that faint impression, always returning, and through this...

we notice that we're home. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Our Involvement

Our involvement: 

it's the nature of our involvement, that by examining any one idea about ourselves we always arrive at something larger, our lives being far more intricate and involved than ever previously conceived. Through this inquiry we find that we have roots, our reach in earth as deep as every tree, being made by the very same particles that once gave form to ancient life, in essence, our involvement is one of intimacy and true belonging. Really, we are an aspect of earth itself, elements made through the explosion of stars, DNA traced from a single cell form emerging from the sea. 

we are simply life...intimately involved.

there's no wish to find any source of divinity here, no belief in a soul that is apart from any other aspect of the world. It's all divine, everything, and the only proof  needed is in seeing how it's all a shared involvement, threads of a single design, the fabric of existence. Life is holy, undivided, and thus heaven is found directly where we are, one thread leading to another, an endless, sacred loop. 

that's my involvement.

and yours. 

this too is why there's no individual karma, every action is of benefit or harm to the entire world. Knowing this, deeply so, we're no longer afforded a short sighted vision of our involvement. Everything has consequence, we're stewards of our own agenda here, continuous life, and suffer or gain by our own present actions. We're all intimately involved with each other, with the earth, all of existence, and simply by virtue of our own appearance here, that we're unable to find a single point of separation. It's all life, ours, never just mine, always ours, and nothing is ever excluded.

it's a singular involvement. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Deep Listening

Deep listening: 

perhaps even more so than sight, deep listening is a truly intimate act, one that allows for an appreciation of silence as much as what is heard. It's in this way that we recognized the seamless art of deep listening, with silence being an allowing field of pure potentiality, that even the slightest sound can make itself known through this quiet embrace and instantly, intimately, be shared as our own experience now...that's the art of truly listening.

and more so than sight for the simple reason that we take so much for granted by favoring what is seen, giving objects our close notice yet failing to appreciate the space through which they may appear, to note the emptiness that allows and holds the world. Yet listening provides us with access to silence, we experience the absence of sound as keenly as any symphony heard, gaining a deep appreciation for the space that it provides, that it allows for meaning to emerge within it's hold. 

deep listening is pure intimacy.

silence is heard...as easily as any sound.

my earliest morning act is devoted to its practice, before my eyes even approach their waking I am stirred from sleep by the slight sounds of a pre-dawn world. I wake by listening, noticing whatever sound emerges from its quiet hold, seamlessly so, silence being selfless, allowing by its very nature. I love to give myself an extended moment of pure listening, deep, and without need to identify any sound, innocent of specifics, simply hearing sounds emerge from a place of true mystery, silence, and then...always they return. If I give myself this time, just a few moments devoted entirely to this listening, I'm able to catch this seamless return as well, the very instant that a sound surrenders itself back to silence, appreciating the magic of its emergence, a unique note not ever again to be repeated. 

truly magic, mysterious...

and always heard through a moment of deep listening.

~

Peace, Eric 

A Larger Inspiration

A larger inspiration: 

not knowing what to write about is both scary and liberating, a moment for pure imagination to take over as soon as I surrender the need to express myself in sure and certain ways. For me, I often find that a theme soon develops through this process, and that as I let go further into the mystery of not knowing, writing begins to happen without my interference of ideas, a larger inspiration takes over and the words begin to flow within a definite energy of their own. 

I like that...a larger inspiration.

and so there's little trepidation as I approach an empty page, no great need to fill it with grand ideas and poetic words. There's only the writing itself, whatever it will be this morning, however many words arrive to greet me. Silence is part of this process, waiting as well, and I've learned to trust this larger inspiration and to embrace the uncertainty of what an empty page offers.

it's always full of possibilities it seems. 

bringing my own ideas to the page is often a matter of false confidence of skill over inspiration, thinking that I will better navigate through uncertainty with the aid of a given theme and cleverness of words. Sometimes, if the idea is inspired, this can work quite well, and as I write I will begin to lose any sense of being the true author here, finding myself absorbed in the mystery of receiving words, my writing skills now reduced to the basics of patiently waiting for words through long moments of silence, and then followed by an inspired eagerness of writing what is given. Writing, at its best, is mere dictation...

it's all from a larger inspiration. 

there's never any need for me to worry about what to write of, there's no real wait for inspiration, it's always present and only takes a turn of mind towards a point of mystery surrendering any notion of certainty and control, allowing myself to simply be part of what's soon to be written and not make claims as sole author. I am the process...nothing more. 

it's better this way. 

being more at ease.

and writing happens on its own. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Equal To The Page

Equal to the page: 

to match myself as equal to the page means that I don't need to write anything at all, that I am just as complete without leaving a single thought recorded, and more so that I serve as capacity for words to grace me with their appearance, really, no different than a page. So each morning I simply wait for words to find me, no rush in my approach to writing. I am content to sit and listen to the sounds of the world awakening, every sound hushed in softness, as if not quite ready for the harsher noise of day. I've grown to love this silence space that exist just before first words appear, listening to the absence of sound as clearly as the early morning notes that will soon part through, a seamless hearing of the world. 

and with this...I am equal to the page in every meaningful way.

by this I mean capacity, emptiness by basic nature, yet always allowing for the world to manifest completely through me, or more apt to say that I am the manifestation of the world. It's easily seen on any page, existing first as emptiness but also a serving space for any story to be told, a willingness to hold and share every writer's deep expression. Each morning I match myself again as equal to the page, just as empty, having my own willingness to hold every word as dear, sacred in the grace of its appearance. And that's capacity, serving by my emptiness for the fulfillment of thoughts and words, ideas, and really, for the formation of the world. 

it's a seamless trade of equal beauty.

an empty page isn't the absence of words, it's the potentiality of their appearance, home, an extended promise for every words expression. This too is the silence found before my first idea, and I find myself completely at home within this quiet capacity, being a moment of getting to know my truest self, content with all that's present. I don't need to write anything, but words appear now, easily parting through their silence hold to greet me. 

and again to match myself as equal to the page...

I am capacity for every word that finds me. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Namaskar

Namaskar: 

yoga is the prayer position of hands clasped together in front of the heart, that's it, the entire essence of this ancient system is found within this simple gesture, namaskar, bowing with reverence to a single consciousness shared between us. This is an asana of recognition, my hands joined and placed before my heart center signifies union and the deepest love that joins us all together, this is yoga, every path now displayed in humble offering. I recognize life, that it's all divine, every aspect of it, and my gesture shows this recognition, a bow offered to the world. 

namaskar.

that I recognize a single life between us.

I love things in essence, an entirety of something so large can be found completely within the smallest word or gesture, that one thing is able to contain the loveliness of the whole. And that's really what an asana is, the body used as an instrument of display, opening itself to divine energy, and given as a complete prayer within the moment it unfolds. One posture, it doesn't really matter which one, is the complete display of yoga, but only if done with devotion, mindful of the essence shown, breath channeled from subtle ether's to the body's function. That's exactly how the body prays, motion, a pause through stillness, and then continued on in its performance. 

doing any one thing, with certainty and reverence...

that's yoga. 

namaskar, my hands clasped together in prayer position, placed before my heart and I perform this as an act of deep love, offered to all who read this, to those who even glance the title and then move on. The essence is found there, one word, namaskar, it's the yoga of what's been written. 

I bow to you. 

~

Love, Eric 

Expression

Expression: 

and with only a slight shift of perspective, just a different way to view the world, our lives change from a pursuit of certain objects and concepts of possession to one of joyful expression, and with that we see  that what we are right now is already a demonstration of true significance. Through anyway we view ourselves it's a remarkable arrangement, from six basic elements of construction we have human form, every cell, molecule, and atom works in our favor. Particles gather from infinite possibilities for our achievement, and more so from the Big Bang, alignment of planets, and the endless crawl of DNA and evolution to this very moment now - it's all an expression of true joy. 

it's life.

already, and always a joyful expression. 

none of this is of our doing, with no effort put forth from us for any of this to be. Life simply happens, and this is why I consider it all to be an expression of joy, everything, through every single aspect of our existence. None of this has to be, it wasn't asked for, but it's our nonetheless, or more so, we belong to this, to life, gifted by our very nature. 

so what more is to be achieved? 

what else could we ask for? 

we have life. 

and here's the subtle shift of perspective - there is nothing that we truly have to acquire that adds a basic difference to our lives. We live in a world of abundance and with all we have right now we could feed every starving child, cloth and comfort those in need, care for and heal the environment that serves us all so well. And at no point this mean our own denial of happiness, it's just a slight shift, remember? Here's the difference, the change of perspective, it's from pursuit of happiness to one of knowing that we are already an expression of true joy, and that life takes great pleasure through our being exactly who we are, right now, and without any change at all. Of course we can still have all the things that we once believed would provide us extra meaning, but the pursuit itself is now part of this expression, a built in measure of joy without the stress of anything having to be achieved. 

and with this we are free.

it's all a demonstration of joy, and we take no true ownership of what can only now be viewed as a gift from an abundant world. We share freely of our happiness, seeing ourselves as an expression of this deepest joy, life, and how easily it's been given. 

it's all true now...and only waits for a subtle shift in our perspective. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Karma Yoga

Karma Yoga: 

really, it's the way of motion, of our participation with life, and that karma yoga is simply a description of the depth of our involvement, that through the means of our surrender to the actual activity of being alive, we are graced with freedom from attachment to the outcome. 

karma yoga is consider the path of action, of selfless service without any concern from what we may gain or if the situation may play in our favor. We act with devotion to the activity, our attention given completely to whatever the task at hand, and through this we a sense of liberation from our normal expectations of both achievement and failure. There is no gain or loss here, only our participation, the performance of the deed itself, and as life is motion, it's an ongoing affair, always an opportunity to engage with life through whatever happens to be happening.

karma yoga is of being alive. 

in motion.

and being in love that this is so.

with this we could say that it's less about attention given than it is of our devotion, just an easy and natural awareness of whatever happens to appear, or any task we have at hand. Karma yoga is the way of opportunity, with life always presenting us a means to give ourselves to any chance performance. This is why my preference is to think of it as motion, that it's an ongoing affair, and that in any moment I can gain my liberation by simply being present, at ease with every situation by virtue of my surrender. Through this...life itself is the means to freedom.  

and we're always alive.

always in motion.

being in love with all we do.

but remember that this is true love, one without preference, and perhaps more easily appreciated as pure awareness. Love doesn't hold conditions, it's never withholding, and is simply, always, presence. To be aware is to love, it's an easy formula to remember, that life itself holds everything in love, and that no action needs to be taken to make this so...we are aware, naturally, without ant effort given. It's who we are and karma yoga is just a description given to a life seen through this awareness. 

we're already free.

always in love.

and that's how we surrender...by just remembering who we truly are.

it's an easy formula. 

~

Peace, Eric