Smaller Dharma

Smaller dharma: 

dharma has become an important consideration for me lately, giving thought to my larger purpose, a self-inquiry of meaning and the theme of my existence through the mid point of my life. There are some who are so gifted with a specific talent that's there's no question as to their  life's direction, others with a passionate drive that seems to clear the way for whatever path they choose to follow. I have always been more of a wanderer, having a smaller dharma as it so appears, my passions being simple by their nature, varied, and never felt to be my true calling. My wish was not to have a great single talent to display, but to just know my purpose here, to have a real reason for my existence, perhaps some meaning for what was long felt to be an aimless life. 

my life at mid-point now, and my dharma is still not clear, at least not in any sense that lends itself to a clear review of purpose. My accomplishments are quite easy to measure, some being physical and achieved through hard word and effort, others being creative in their expression. But nothing I've done has any theme of great meaning, no depth to their purpose, indeed they're all just smaller dharma, really nothing more than flash points of achievement through all my years of living. 

and yet, 

there's something important here to consider, yes, this is a smaller dharma - and one with such care and tenderness given to all I've ever held dear, these smaller things, that each well written book I've read was loved and cherished deeply, my life's been devoted to poetry and a clear expression of beauty and love of nature. I was available to care for both my parents during their hard declining years, providing a service of deep commitment to their well-being and dignity through long illness and being near and present in their final hours. I have a love of stillness and silence, meditation as a sincere lifetime practice and I offer this to others, teaching, writing, an enthusiasm without bounds.  Each morning I awake so early, well before dawn to meditate and then greet the day with words written with a quiet joy and passion, never once diminished throughout the years. It's a smaller dharma indeed, no great measure here, no overriding theme of purpose and measure. 

just life...

and the presence that I offer. 

~

Love, Eric