Holy In Our Suffering

What's found holy in our suffering:

it's not that we must first endure hardship in order to become a better version of ourselves, nor are we tested in regard to building our resolve. Life isn't an experience of transcendental value. Sometimes we suffer. It's just what life offers in certain moments. There doesn't have to be a deeper meaning. Our acceptance is simply that it's present, nothing more, no need to assign any significance to this other than our hurt. That's what's found holy in our suffering, this shared hurt, the depth we've all reach in how much we've endured. It's personal, and shared, belonging to all of us and to ourselves alone. We don't transcend this, there is no other side to suffering. Only life offering something other than before, continuing in motion. 

what's found holy is our shared expression as life, unique to us alone, and yet common  in its theme of highs and lows. We all suffer. But life is never less beautiful than it is right now. It's the very same moment. Even our wish to escape any deep hurt is a shared value, no less holy than being stoic in response. It's all sacred in its way. 

life is completely ordinary, and it's miraculous that we belong - this is really all we need to know, that we're not excluded from the whole in anyway and that this means life will bring it's share of everything. Suffering included. What we go through doesn't make us special, it confirms the holiness of being human, of a shared belonging. 

always together. 

~

Peace, Eric 

This Current Breath

This current breath:

finding myself present - even to what doesn't seem to be, accepting what's unseen but current, like air in it's becoming of the breath. It's simply knowing that life is happening, constant, and now. There's no need to get bogged down in every detail.  It's the faith of this current breath, and the infinite things that make this moment possible. 

this moment is all I really know, and this is to say that I only know of mystery - it's an awareness of my limit to be anywhere else but here, present to what's happening but not privy as to why, or what may happen next. I am granted the favor of existing and this is always just a momentary grace, aware now, nothing more to be promised. 

to be present is enough.

yet this isn't a call to mindful, to note details of the moment - it's accepting the current breath, life, and being aware that there is nowhere else to be but here, already fully present. Whether mindful or not life continues happening. I have no fear of missing out, that some important detail will be lost to my attention. I am present by virtue of being aware, that momentary grace given, and nothing escapes this presence, everything happens here, and always now. 

it's that simple. 

this current breath means I'm alive, connected to air and it's infinite reach - to find myself present includes the flight of every bird, each  tree branch extended to the sky, all things belonging to the hold of air. There's no effort to this connection. It just is, it's the ease of being present, of being aware. It's the grace already given. 

enjoy. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Somehow Found Aware

Life somehow found aware:  

it's observation alone, without witness to be found - this isn't a declaration of emptiness, nor absence of a person to the extent of pure awareness. What it is, what it seems to be, is simply participation. That everything is observed in the moment of it's happening. I'm a witness to myself, life somehow found aware. 

so no separate observer, no final witness to all that happens in the world - just awareness, life in playful wonder of itself. I have no idea of cause, or why this seems to be. Or even if it's true. Yet I find myself aware, not as a witness to the world but direct in my participation. There is no line drawn from experience to aware - just this present presence, alive, and knowing myself as so. That's true enough for me, a validation of my momentary expression. 

to be aware, as always so - but to know this, awakening to knowing, is where I find myself now. It's a constant surprise, effortless, the grace of simply being alive. I'm aware. This is pure, direct, involvement of the moment. Not removed from a single aspect of life. Participating. And it's all spontaneous, arising now, and always now. Nothing is excluded from this, and even what's not welcomed is found in this belonging. My response is as spontaneous as everything else that appears. 

and so too is each word here, appearing, without concern for meaning until measured on the page. I'm just writing, a pause, and then there's always more words. Life continues in it's flow. And I'm aware that I belong. 

~

Peace, Eric 

As Wholeness

As wholeness:

to know myself as wholeness, this certain sense that everything belongs without true separation, seamless, and complete - it's my own experience, without need of verification, and I make no real effort to explain. I only offer words in illustration. There's nothing to prove, or to even understand, and there's no need to believe that is even so. 

it's just my words.

of course the world seems made of parts, objects separated through space from one another, my own distance from you, and our belief that we encompass an are of our own. It's true, the world is made of distinctions, things and divided by time and space. Events. But it's a truth of illusion, the real fiction of how unfolds. Reality doesn't have to be understood to be experienced. It simply is. My reality is breath - drawn right now as air, complete, one thing in giving life. There's no need for me to know the elements of this giving. I just breathe. Every aspect of air is one thing to be drawn by a similar aspect known as me, particles arranged as form, energy somehow gathered. Through every distinction - it's all still experienced as life. 

Wholeness. 

This is what I feel, life, and not the components of it's expression - it's one thing in experience. It's the same through all of my senses. My listening is separated from any sound heard, the view not broken down is parts. Everything's complete. Whole. I know it all as life. One thing in infinite variety. And even what comes to seem divided belongs seamless to the whole. 

others explain this differently, or have another philosophy all together - this is only what I offer, my own experience of this moment. 

nothing more. 

~

Peace, Eric 

My True Belonging

My true belonging:

grateful for the view, that the world unfolds before me, and grants participation - it's from here that I find my true belonging, this point of observation, aware, and thankful that it's so. 

to be truly grateful, sincerely, is to know that I belong. It's not my possessions, nothing about what I have, nor who I know. These things aren't taken for granted, but they fit in a world of loss and gain, an illusion to be owned, or believed to be everlasting. My belonging runs deeper, a capacity that holds the things of the world without a sense of ownership. 

everything belongs. 

through this, an awareness of myself as capacity as well as what appears - I find an easy gratefulness just to be alive. To be able to note what arrives to bless my life, or what may seem to be a curse, is a gift that comes by grace. It's not one I take for granted. 

to be grateful is to be aware. 

my true belonging is simply life, finding myself in an intimate sense of knowing the world as home - that air is set for me to breathe, water is rained to quench my thirst, and the earth grows what's needed for me to thrive. None of this had to be, and indeed it's all balanced precisely so, a difference by degree and this home would be no more. I am grateful for this home and all that it provides. 

life is my only true belonging. 

it's here, this moment, that I am most thankful for - to be aware of all that's appearing now, to know that I belong exactly where I am, to be at ease within the world. It's an unearned grace that I've been given. And I am truly, truly, grateful. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Life In Continuation

Life in continuation:

because the moment's always open, an ongoing process that is still found somehow timeless in experience. What I hold as an instant, an image captured in what seems like a brief stillness through my observation - is in fact motion, life in continuation, and is already shifting to a new expression. It's all dynamic, never truly a single thing but an arranging reality of one existence. Each moment is an artful expression to never come again, not exactly as it is, perhaps just a subtle shade of difference, or a shocking change to an immediate new understanding. 

what's happening now is life in continuation.

each moment is a fabrication of motion, not really existing on it's own, never paused for observation - only experienced, known through participation. It's ongoing. Even my memories of past events, taking place in a present moment, belong to right now, a pattern of energy within endless more patterns, an interplay of reality in constant rearrangement. 

life is always motion. 

so no moment is ever isolated from another, there is always a process of becoming, but without goal, nor wish for final expression. Just life, self creating through its motion. I am given what seems a pause for my own self-reflection, a glimpse of my belonging within this continuation. I am as much part of this interplay as every other aspect found, a pattern too, and already becoming an entirely new expression. This moment is a gift given through awareness, to see myself ongoing, participating with life in artful arrangement of all that happens. 

I am always unfinished. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Acknowledging The Moment

Acknowledging the moment:

because it's so - this is my resting point, acknowledging the moment exactly as it is, not yet imagining a better future, and simply allowing myself to be with whatever thoughts and emotions may appear. Nothing has to fit my mood, nor even be accepted. Just acknowledged that it's so. Everything is already changing in someway, perhaps a minor aspect, becoming something other as the moment shifts anew. With this, my response always belongs to just now, free to shift as well with every coming moment. 

to rest with what is - and truthfully this seems my always, only, option. Change happens here, in acknowledging the moment and the proper action to what's present. It's all spontaneous, what arises and my response equal in their appearance. Even a plan for later action belong to right now, a response to what is, and is allowed the freedom to be let go, another shift too in the faith of all that changes. 

of course acknowledging the moment means to see my own faults and self-blame, to view my own imperfection in the light of equal grace. What's found now is what I am, or at least as I'm appearing. It's the reality of what is. But this too is changing, I'm not bound to any moment, nor identity, my response belongs only to the moment is was given. I'm free to acknowledge once again a new appearance and make my peace with all that happens. 

there is no cause for me to suffer from the past, nor to anguish for the future - I hurt in this moment, I heal only in this moment offered. I belong right now. This is where I am...because it's so. 

~

Peace Eric 

One Reality

One reality:

as if reality could be anything other than this, exactly what's found now in every possible distinction, formless and in form. It's all one thing really, one reality that includes my individual sense of self within the whole of its existence. Nothing is excluded from this, what appears as an illusion belongs for whatever length of stay it's believed in, reality is seamless in its embrace. 

everything belongs.

it's air - breathing in the reality of one thing to sustain life, a simple breath, and yet its truth is of components added as the whole. My body only knows to breathe, the actuality of air for its existence. The complexities are left unexplained, unneeded for that single breath. Breathing is found as infinite aspects drawn to the point of now - life and its continuation. 

it's just one thing. 

this is all I really need to know, it's enough for me to relax in a sense of true belonging - I am included as the whole, an aspect that mingles in the very substance of air, a component of life, breathing its continuation. To find myself aware of this is simply part of reality, the mystery of consciousness being another one of its expressions. 

there is no reality without me.

only because I exist, it's not argument for any sense of greater self, only that I am right now, and fully part of reality in all of its mystery. I am as air, and breath - infinite aspects, but still, and only life. As if there could be anything other than this. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Immeasurable

Immeasurable:

it's all without measure - everything in continuation of itself in some form or formless way. Only distinctions end, but seamless, the world remains as is. So too, I find myself immeasurable, distinct, and yet without true lines. I have no idea where this all ends. Or if it ever does. I'm not claiming immortality, but only my own sense of wonder, that molecules and atoms in constant trade across borders, somehow carry a singular essence along. 

in this sense I will continue. 

what is truly ever measured - as if arbitrary distance could be assigned within such a spacious world. It all belongs to convenience, a help to navigate through each day. To measure is to finish, a set point where a certain existence ends and another might begin. It's an illusion made real by belief, a trick of sight, and feel of something solid. 

yet life itself remains immeasurable. 

to see a bird in flight is to witness the seamless grace of air, a sure acceptance of wing curved to just the right expression. There is no point of separation to be measured from wingtip to air, and to include myself in observation - I belong within this flight as well. It's the same with any object, to measure any distance of between is to leave off the formlessness that continues. It's a false sense of seeing, not wrong completely, but not entirely so at all. 

life is more than can be measured. 

so what I am is life, a continuation of every season, changing, a constant shift of nature in another end and new becoming. I'm not measured by a definition long ago given by another, a truth assigned through a belief of certain numbers.

immeasurable, life continues. 

~

Peace, Eric 

To Find Myself Seamless

To find myself seamless:

to just know myself as aware - and nothing more revealed but the world as my expansion. It's really that simple, to be aware, and to note the details found in this awareness. There are no true lines of separation here, to see is to find myself seamless to the view, to listening is to be joined as both silence and sound. It's one thing in noting, qualities in the single experience of being. 

just aware. 

this isn't a certain achievement, not a special status for a few - it's the reality of being a human, alive, and participating in the world. It only seems magical through neglect of appreciation, a lost art rediscovered in the most obvious of places. To remember is to awaken, and to appreciate this gift of living is awaken further still. I am given a lifetime to explore. 

and it begins with every moment. 

to be aware, and to know myself as so - it's an instant meditation of what's found within each moment, a gentle note of what belongs simply by its presence, of how, through this very act of noting, I find myself in this belonging. It's a great welcoming, even to events not welcomed and what feels undeserved. Nothing can be excluded. This doesn't always feel kind, that the world offers what seems the worst of possible outcomes just moments after all is fine. It's not about feeling better. It's reality, and mystery, and sometimes too the grace that's found in being aware. I accept the moment, and all that's given, and at this very point is my surrender. 

that's grace. 

yes, I surrender to what's present - but this moment too contains the inconceivable possibilities of simply being alive. Life brings its own faith. It's not a belief that things will be better, or that a promise land awaits. It's faith in motion, that every moment is constantly changing. This is my surrender, that things will be different, and that I'm given this moment to be an active participant in what will be tomorrow's outcome. I'm not striving for change, just aware of all that's changing. 

to just know myself as life - and by this I am aware. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Whatever Comes To Me

Whatever comes to me:

nothing has to be written, there's no grand truth to be told by me alone, and these words carry no great weight of meaning. But still I seem called to write, everyday there is a pull to sit and give expression to whatever comes to me each moment. 

inspiration is simply listening to this urge. 

to be creative is the natural way of life, being a expression of the world just as I am - that I am a construct from earth and stardust, a trade of air for breath, and infinite in space and molecules. I am an aspect of earth, aware of myself as dust and something more, an energy of certain artistry, life in constant urge to be continued. 

whatever comes to me belongs to this moment only, a contribution to only to this page, and my own small sense of inspiration. To write is as easy and natural as breath, it's the same trade of emptiness to form, the energy of life expressed in the same wish for continuation. To write is to be myself, a true self of creative energy, giving voice to what's heard even if it's just for me. I am obeying the law of expression, life always seeking to be known in every possible way. 

it doesn't matter if this is true.

what only matters is this communication-  that life whispered and I heard in this simple way, listening brought me to the page and I wrote with a quiet wish to be voiced, to give myself to the moment's urge of creation and continuation. 

to simply be inspired. 

if read, perhaps only briefly seen - then I am joined in this expression with another, we share a single moment crossing time and space to be together. 

that's all the meaning that is needed. 

~

Peace, Eric 

To Tend To

To tend to:

there is a self to tend to, and even in a sense to make a measured effort to improve - it's not denying any aspect of my essential nature, from appearance as a functional person in the world, to my inherent formless capacity that allows it all. Everything belongs. 

this isn't about a frantic self-help approach of always being better, striving to perform at my greatest potential, nor any sort of comparison of my past self or too others. I've gone through that and have no reason to return. It's simply caring for myself as a person, to take measure of certain actions, bringing my attention to how I respond to myself and other people. It's seeing, and in this awareness to offer myself the relief of care, love, and compassion. Self empathy. I see this as the foundation of my nature, openness, and the capacity to serve for appearance in the world. It's formless/form, a true Heart Sutra of caring, and tending to what appears. 

It's simply love. 

of course this openness, my formless nature, is without bias, everything is allowed by virtue of its presence. It's unconditional. But I am also form, capacity somehow given function to know itself within the world. This isn't two things, or even two aspect of the one. It's just life, mysterious, and full of possibilities. That I am - is simply one of them. 

so in this formless/form I am unconditional, without bias too and allowing everything to be exactly as it will - and this includes my tendency to care, a wish to ease the pain of others, to love what feels broken in the world. Even as I know it all belongs. It's not a contradiction - it's my full, unrestrained, expression. I find myself aware of how I navigate through the world,of my response and reactions. With this attention comes a natural sense of ease, I relax, allowing myself to act in any given situation in the way that feels fitting. It's formless/form in action of life, without my sense of second guessing. If something appears that comes to my concern, it is mind to tend to. 

and I do. 

in whatever way the moment calls for.

~

Peace, Eric 

Of Pure Listening

Of Pure Listening:

for the joy of true listening - allowing things unnamed to the moment they arrive, the pleasure of what the world gives in early morning sounds. It's an easy mediation, sitting, no effort to reach a certain frame of mind. I come to smile as labels arrive, to name a sound a bird call or distance car - for just a moment it's just the world, not yet named until a vibration reaches my mind. But I have that brief, brief instant of pure listening, that just before moment...and I know it remains throughout the day, a seamless reality of silence in its gentle hold of sound. 

it's really, only, one thing. 

this listening is always available - sound expressed and received in original innocence of hearing, the communication of silence to the air, and my own response of translation. I am joined in that one instant of silence parting to be heard, a shared moment of allowing, something, some sound in its initial stir from stillness, emerging. And what I hear is silence, unnamed, pure and true in these first moments.

what I am - is listening.

 it's simple, one thing in response to itself, it's all music really. To listen, truly so, is to remember that I belong as well to this allowing space of silence and note, that I am essential to this hearing, providing my own openness as a field for its reception. What I hear is my own seamless nature expressed as the music of the world. Every note, each pause, is a reminder that I belong.

it's the joy of pure listening. 

~

Peace, Eric 

My True Belonging

My True Belonging:

as if I could ever find myself someplace other, not present to the only moment offered - it's always here, and I'm never removed from this, right now is my true belonging. And even as my thoughts wander, revisiting years ago or imagining far tomorrows - I remain as clear presence, the allowing point for the mind to travel. 

who I am never wanders. 

just be, that's it and my full instructions to myself - to just be, and I find that this includes an innate present moment awareness, effortless, and not one that calls for a mindful demand. It's not about attention, or noting the details of a particular moment. It's relaxing as I am, as I find myself right now, and allowing life to reveal itself in the way it feels fit to show me. To just be means life, and what I am is alive, aware, and curious as to how this present moment seems to contain the whole of my existence. Even if I could there is no need to stray - life takes place right here, and always now. 

this is my true belonging, my only source - I am aware now, and in this sense awareness I find no lines to distinguish past from present, no separation between the aware presence of yesterday and of today. It's clear, line-less all the way to any point I can remember. 

just presence. 

being.

and through no effort of my own - it's a somehow grace, to be alive, to be aware, to just...whatever happens next. It's all included. 

my true belonging is always here.

~

Peace, Eric 

My own seeing:

it's just how I see the world, not offered as opinion but only from my view - it's my own seeing, taking place from a capacity that serves in seamless hold to all the world. What I write is a description of what really can't be told. Yet everyone shares this view. 

it's simply seeing.

this is an easy inquiry of what's seen - noting everything as an object found within the world, something to be experienced in someway, known for sure by the senses. There are objects and the space of their surroundings. It's the common way I view the world. But not always, it's not seeing, not true seeing from the point where I am absent from the view. 

tracing what's seen, any object, back to the beginning of being observed - and I only find more view, another object seen as body, the same spacious surrounding that holds every other item of the world. I find emptiness where an observer should be. And too, I find this space aware, intimately knowing itself as the view and every object in its hold. This seeing is without witness, although a witness does belong. It's seeing without claim, nor demand, and I find myself included without a line of clear division, seamless too in my belonging. 

whole.

seeing is always available, it's a present moment reality, abiding through my own forgetful looking, and never once wavering in its flow. I'm always seeing, even as I lose myself as object in the world. I remain whole, seamless, and aware. So do you. We see each other in this first truth, a shared together of spaciousness and form. 

we simply see.

~

Peace, Eric 

Not Deny

Not deny:

to simply not deny, acknowledging what's found present, and for this be the center point of my reality - this is awareness, always and only accepting just what is without demand for things to change. Everything belong here, my resistance to what is, as well as my plan to offer something other, nothing is excluded from this welcome. 

this is the acceptance of reality, not resignation to what is but a deeper surrender altogether - it's seeing what belongs only to the present moment, and that life is already in motion to become another version of right now. I can only accept change. Life is dynamic and I am a full participant of its play, joined in its motion and always in process too of becoming a new version of myself. There is nothing passive about this - it's the full acceptance of life in all it offers. 

from here, this welcome point of all existence - my life unfolds, and this all a mystery without a single tell of what's to come. But I know it all belongs, somehow, and without my say. Life has long ignored my demands and I've come to see my insistence for things to fit my particular needs as simply another aspect of it all, my own quirk added to this welcome. Life continues to move along, a grace of motion in its flow and the more I come to its reality, to not deny a single thing now found - the more I find myself in living grace. 

it's all life, every aspect, and no part is broken from the whole. I won't deny what's present. even as I wish for sooner change and the moment to be other. It's all allowed and to know this brings a certain depth to my acceptance - things will only be as they are right now. But life is in the midst of changing and I have no idea of any moment yet to come. I accept this, now, nothing denied. This is the only present moment of my participation. 

through this acceptance - life brings change. 

~

Peace, Eric 

In The Only Way

 In the only way:

and from this comes compassion - it's just seeing that it all belongs in the only way the world could be right now, coming to this point from infinite choices taken alone and together. This is what we have, and I find through my own recognition of this, my capacity to open to the world, that everything is shared in some important way. My ache is yours, although we may break at different points. There is only our suffering, and too just one joy. What brings us here may differ - but it's all shared, a universal depth of consciousness. 

this is simply being human, that there is certain truth that life holds for each of us. We will all touch upon suffering. The things we love are fragile, designed to be cherished but not for long. We all break. My humanness recognizes yours. It's what we share. 

to see this, is to be aware - awakening doesn't remove me from concern for the world, not from it's least aspect to larger issues happening now. It's all one world and it all calls for me to care. To see - is to love in its truest sense, inclusion, of how the view is an embrace of always one more thing, seamless and ongoing. There is no line that shows me a different world for you, that your suffer ends here and mine begins somewhere other. We are shared. Life, happening together. 

that is all belongs in the only way the world could be right now - it's our common bond. We find life just the way it is, so often uncertain, always changing, shifting in both loss and sense of something new. It's our shared mystery. From this comes compassion - yes, we may see the world very differently, but there is always, only, one view. 

it's ours. 

~

Peace, Eric 

From Simply This

From simply this: 

only this for certain - that I am, and I'm aware that it's so. Only this. One thing implies the other, to know that I exist is to note my own awareness, to be aware is the display of my existence. I surmise a world from simply this. 

it's the first I am aware, and then comes the rush to name and explain the world in easy meaning. To find myself as capacity is to invite awareness to be filled, and in the intimacy of this holding there is an urge to define and personalize what's found. I claim the world as mine and then divide it by label and design, describing it terms that force a sense of separation to my mind. I've come to see the world as certain, a quick forgetting of the mystery of it all. 

my return is always seeing, to look and let the view unfold in the manner that it will - my first glance, initial seeing, is truest yet, just the world before a single thing is certain. This is remembering, a return to basic understanding - all I know is I'm aware. Perhaps I can't help but to build a world around the simplicity of this, the urge to create something from the raw purity that's first found. Yet there is always this return, coming back to original view, uncertain of it all but my sense of wonder, alive and appreciate to find myself aware. 

the world comes later - at first there's simply seeing. 

~

Peace, Eric 

No Longer Cherished

No longer cherished:

of my beliefs, they're simply now held lightly, no longer cherished in an ultimate sense of being true. They are of service in the art of investigation, to lead me to my own open nature, free from the weight expectations. 

to believe is to accept something as proven true - and little of my life is beyond examination, nothing has been shown to be permanent, what once served in a useful way will reach a point of limit, no longer being a source of aid or comfort. It becomes a belief of who I used to be. 

even in the comfort of beliefs there's little freedom to be had - I am constrained by a narrow grip of acceptance, without the courage to peer a bit further past these invisible confines. This is the inquiry of simply looking, nothing dismissed out of hand, no belief not given its due - but only asking how it serves, if still belongs to this point where life brought me. I am not without beliefs, yet they have little influence in any sense of who I am, they are tools to navigate through life. 

once let go, only the space of not knowing remains - an infinite space for life to be, and one free of any sense how it should all unfold. A better view of reality is shown. I still believe many thing, perhaps it's just the nature of the mind - but nothing has to be true, I am not invested in anything as certain. My beliefs are no longer cherished. They belong as every other passing thought or moment, here, for now, experienced and then let go. It's all without effort, life happening on it's own - no matter what my beliefs may tell me. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Not Knowing

Not knowing:

it's truly not knowing and resting in the relief of not having ready answers at hand - this is a space unfilled by belief and speculation, empty of demands. My point is being aware, of knowing simply and only that I am right now, existing this moment, and refusing to add anything from here. There is no need for a religion of myself, to believe I'm anything more than fleeting in existence. 

of course I may be more - I have no sure way knowing, and taking others at their word is just to borrow their own belief, giving the authority of this moment to a faith that isn't earned. Yes, I give myself permission to wonder of this mystery, perhaps a guess at how I might continue on, and new realities to be discovered. But nothing is held as certain. Nothing is believed to be true just because it becomes cherished by my mind. It's still, and always, this present moment. 

right now is enough to fulfill any wish for mystery, to experience the grace of simply being aware, and participate in life through every moment granted. Awareness is a precious gift of existence, the vital backdrop of being alive and able to appreciate all that's given. I do my best not to add to this, accepting this gift as all that's needed, no, as being endless in what it offers. What could I possibly add to life itself? Being enough almost sounds dismissive. This moment is infinite in its mystery, to be aware that I am right now, alive and a function of this expression, is enough, and yes more - it's everything. 

it's not knowing - and resting as I am. 

~

Peace, Eric 

There's A Path

 There's a path:

of course there's a path - and my every step at once reveals my only destination. This is it, truly, there is no further awakening beyond this moment, no ultimate understanding, nor final enlightenment. There's nothing more than this, and that's the path itself, my step realizing it's sure place against earth, my breathing drawing near the air of our connection. The path is now - and it's all I do. 

and so it is with practice - nothing I do will make me more awake than now, awareness remains present even as I step away from my meditation mat. My practice is simply life, reminders I'm given through the day that serve as a wink and nod from mystery. My view serves in this as well, showing me both the world in all its details and my own absence from its hold. I practice seeing in all its obvious showing. It's an easy way of practice, just allowing life to be, noting my own belonging, and going on my way. Even as I sit in meditation it's not to gain anything, there is no seeking to arrive to any certain sense of peace. I sit, for the pure and simple pleasure of my sitting. That's my practice. 

everything happens now. So this is alone is my moment to awaken, life itself was all the practice needed to arrive here. I'm awake - simply because I am. I'm not declaring this, it's just a note of wonder, finding myself aware right now, through no effort of my own. Is there is more? Another, higher, state of being? If there is it's not now. This moment, being aware, is what I have - my path and practice is life. I'm in no hurry for anything more. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Reality of the moment:

there's no pretend life, I'm not spirit cloaked as form, nor an illusion playing out a given role. This is it, the reality of the moment and nothing more. 

life. 

of course I make no call on mystery, I'm not assuming any knowledge of what may happen when my time is gone. It would only be speculation and bring nothing to this one life I now have. This moment is enough and truthfully it has to be - nothing further is promised, no other moment is guaranteed. Mystery has me here, right now, life in just this instant. There's no role to play -it's enough to simply be.

accepting that only now is promised brings me immense gratitude to simply be alive. There's no reason nor time to pretend to be something other, to add a spiritual dimension to an already spirit filled world. I am alive, with no idea of what's truly possible, and this gives me the joy of cherishing all that happens now, each breath being a one on deal and the next one drawn is such a gift. To attempt to be other than this, to seek a version of myself that somehow knows more than the simplicity of being alive - seems to be a wasted moment. This breath holds every secret I wish to know. 

the reality of the moment is mystery, one too deep to be revealed. But life gives hints, the experience of unexplained and unasked for grace being one. Life sometimes happens in a way that I am gifted to receive this, we all are. But my own sense too is that grace is every moment, more subtle in the everyday, yet just as present. I see no reason to try and transcend this. I would miss the everyday grace that's found right now. And that would surely be a shame. 

~

Peace, Eric 

A Certain Way

 A certain way:

that I should, or that things should be a certain way to reflect my own awakening - it was this for a very long time that kept me in a certain mind frame, believing that life would be degrees easier once I truly understood reality. 

of course I understand nothing, seeing how things are is not quite the same as understanding, the world is just too vast to grasp beyond this moment. What I really know are only aspects of right now, that things are this way without my call, or at least not in particular choices for that way the life unfolds. Things are exactly and only as they are and there's no point in asking if there is anything I should have done to make them otherwise. I only have this moment. 

in this same light there is no certain way for me to be right now, no specific mind-set of reaction, no calm acceptance of how life is. There's just what is, there is only my response, and sometimes it suits the mood and often too I'm left wondering at my own reaction. There is no certain way that life should be and this includes my own participation. I belong fully to the whole. 

but I do now find myself more at ease, abdicating responsibility for the way I believe life should be has brought me to a more responsive state of being. Not everything needs my control, nor a make-believe enlightened response. Life only needs my attention, and by this I don't mean mindful of every detail, or a measured approach to every thought and action. Just an an easy attention to how things are, relaxed, giving a nod to life as motion and already changing to something other, even as I prepare my argument against it now. It's hard not to find this all a bit amusing - serious, yes, but amusing in the faith of all my previous unmet demands and how I might suspect that this time things will turn out other, I will bend reality to fit my whims. 

but life continues to surprise. 

there really is no certain way - only life unfolding, mysterious, even in the moment it appears. I find no true way to prepare for this, and leave it all to grace of how things are, and the trust that life continues changing, flowing, motion always. 

~

Peace, Eric 

From Seamless Expansion

 From seamless expansion:

it's the world - as given through the senses, a translation of direct experience happening each moment to something my mind can easily understand. From this, listening becomes what's heard, a label to each sound. My view is transformed from seamless expansion to objects found separate from each other, and my own split from belonging to the world. This isn't necessarily wrong. It's just not reality, at least not completely. 

reality is whole, or perhaps it's better suited to say wholeness - one thing appearing as the distinctions of the world. I prefer to say seamless, and of course none of this actually captures what's truly on, my preference for description is simply poetic license to write these words. Reality escapes me in description but is always, simply, exactly what's going on. 

so seamless is my word of preference only because this seems to be my direct experience, that I find no point of separation from the reach of morning sounds to my listening. Nothing has to find me, I am present, now, and here, for what's to heard. There is nothing I need to do for this to happen, it's an effortless art of just listening. 

even as my thoughts add labels it all remains as a seamless view, an easy expansion of seeing how space allows itself to be lent as nature - of how a flower belongs as much to the air of its surrounding as to the earth that holds its roots. This too is carried to my own seeing, holding the same flower in my view is offering space for it to be in my experience, rooted right now in my very own existence. 

seamless all. 

my translation of the world is my own, although I've inherited words to apply each experience, their directness happening belongs to me alone. I offer what I hear and see, providing meaning that's been added a moment after their occurrence. Reality is always, only, first. There really is no after. Even my thoughts of this description are seamless in their belonging. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Through Breath

 

Through breath:

it's found as breath - a rebirth through moments, and life continued in a trade of drawn air and its release again to the world. It's alchemy. The breath reveals my most subtle moods, to follow along with its flow brings me to an easy observation, a witness to currents all but unknown to the busy details of my common day. There's no great secret here, what's found is simply qualities of life in greater stillness, an essence of a quite self which remains no matter the layers of thought and beliefs applied. Through breath I come to find my own allowing nature - present all along. 

there is a constant exchange of things for life to be, respiration on a cellular level, compounds broken down to the point of energy - again it comes to essence, everything found smaller, and smaller still to show nothing true as form. Life is energy. Then there comes the breath, respiration of another kind, life in repetition itself, the universe inhaled and channeled through the body's function, and exhaled in a grateful return to the world. 

through breath comes inspiration, life in its most subtle hint of mystery, a whisper not heard by ears but revealed in the depth of true listening - it's grace received through air drawn in from the world and given back again through intimacy of breath. Inspiration is breathing of another kind. 

in this all it's just one thing - aspects of life exchanging information through channels of its reach. I breathe nothing separate from myself, giving back only what truly, already belongs as well. Life is always equal in exchange. 

through breath - I am revealed. 

~

Peace, Eric 

My Own Found Experience

 My own found Awareness:

of my experience - and this all I really can say about the world, my own found awareness and what unfolds for me alone. It's only my present moment evidence, not meant to be believed by anyone else, or even by me, everything is subject to change, experienced and then let go. What remains is the motion of reality, shifting to a new expression even in the direct experience of what's occurring. 

nothing is known in isolation, reality it seems is a fabric of infinite threads and a small, attentive moment reveals the cloth of all existence. This doesn't mean I'm blessed with privileged information, the knowing and wisdom of guru and sage. It only means an awareness of this moment - that right now, my attention to any single detail reveals a larger experience as well. 

this moment, writing, drinking coffee, allowing the sounds of the world to reach me through an open widow, early breeze touched against me. It's a broad experience of my morning routine, I'm aware of it all, and yet writing has my sharpest attention. But to write of my direct experience of now is to open to all that follows a single thread, it not wandering thoughts but simply my own allowing nature informing me of a larger world to be experienced right here in my office. 

awareness is my invitation to explore what comes to my attention, to experience each given experience as a gift never again to be offered. I'm grateful to receive it all, knowing that to receive means I'm alive, hopeful in the faith that reality is motion, a continuous rebirth of a world to be experienced. It's the promise of each moment. 

~

Peace, Eric 

A Shared Existence

 

A shared existence:

more than anything - it seems a shared existence, that any claim of my true distinction is lost in mingled breath and molecules exchanged between us. This is life in all it's varied space and form, seamless, whole. At no point do I find myself removed from this, an impossibility of existing on my own - I am an equal part of this exchange, breathing in our common air, some essence of myself given in return. Life has a rhythm, subtle, and my sense of being is found in response. I am a keynote in this song. 

this is a bit difference than a claim of oneness, of my own center within existence - I have no sense of being any true source, that the world extends through my awareness. But I am aware, and all that's found is simply part of this belonging, an even flow of just one thing. Nothing needs to be added to this, no belief that it's anything more than what's found. 

just aware. 

shared, and in this I see myself as both process and outcome, as breath itself in motion and resulting life - this only seems as separate events, and yet it all comes plainly as one existence. I am shared, as well I am accumulation of all that's given, somehow a continuation of it all. So I can only find myself grateful, and perhaps this is the true gift of being aware, that I see myself as this sharing, knowing of my inter-dependence, and that every aspect of the world is essential for my existence. In this way my every breath is an offered prayer of thank you - that I am, and that we share this all, together. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Than What's Found Present

Than what's found present:

seeking to escape has been my greatest cause of suffering, making a sincere wish for things to be other than what's found present - any moment but this, and always something better imagined in some far off time. My true suffering happened in my mind. 

it's not that suffering is imagined, anguish is real in the moment it appears and for however long it stays. Pain is the message of the moment, a current event no matter when the initial strike occurred, the experience of hurt is always now - and yet I would find myself projecting to a time beyond the hold of a present moment filled with pain, a false comparison of what is now and moment not existing. That's suffering. It's an impossible wish to escape whatever is occurring right now, a coping plan to ease a bit of pain. It just isn't real. 

sometimes reality hurts, and I've spent a fair amount of time in search for different ways to ease this pain, a pathway of blissful bypassing, ignoring a certain sacred truth always hidden right before my eyes - life is full of every possibility, nothing denied nor excluded, and this fullness must contain all the things that might bring pain, cause me anguish, grief for what I've lost. I'm always found here, and this present moment is an allowing space. It can't be truly ignored. Life will continue in possibilities, things will happen beyond my wish or control, and sometimes, perhaps often, I will feel broken, grieving, left behind - I will be in pain and I will suffer. But I won't add to this with a wish of an imagined future, a time when suffering doesn't exist. 

what I have is what's found present, whatever that may be now, and I have no idea of what will come next - life will continue in it's offering, and I will continue to experience the fullness of its gifts. Sometimes I will be grateful, appreciative of beauty, content in the simplicity of just this given moment. And sometimes not. It's how it all seems to go sometimes. Yet there is present grace to this, a motion that is constant in surprise. That makes all the difference - allowing life in all its motion. 

~

Peace, Eric  

Until Named

 Until named:

everything just is - until named and defined by expectations. It's an easy way to navigate the world, providing a certain understanding and useful information. But it's not entirely how things are, it's only a surface reality, not telling me the whole story. My wish is to know, to explore what the world tells me before it comes to words - and then from here to write as clear as possible without story other than my own. 

it's not that I will believe my own fiction any more than what was offered from others - it's simply experience first before translation, my own sense of how things are without being told to just except the authority of another. Direct experience. Of course this what is always happening, everything is direct, personal through awareness. Yet it's easily, quickly forgotten, dismissed through the hurry of the day. What I bring now is my attention, an easy, relaxed note of not just what's occurring, but that it occurs and I am aware and that at no point is there a gap between them. Even as I offer a name to these events they flow without interruption, life being expressed in the very moment of my narration, another story told - but somehow different now. 

as the world is, and this includes my stories, labels I believe in, arguments for things to be other than what's found. Fiction is no escape for reality, and yet it seamlessly belongs as well. Every story is just a translation of the world, an assist to belong with a certain ease and understanding. It's why things are given names, an attempt to really know what something is. What's lost, forgotten, is that everything is already known for the reality of what it is - a tree is no less before it's labeled, in truth, seeing it directly tells me nothing, it simply reveals exactly, only what is present now. It's complete, without story. 

so everything just is - simply, direct, and experienced without story. Then too, is the experience of the story, every bit as real in its own way, not to be dismissed. It belongs in the same everything, the seamless whole. My joy is in writing the thoughts which appear in my mind, knowing that no matter what I write it's all fiction, and yet it's somehow true as well. At lease in a sense...

~

Peace, Eric 

Never Broken From The Whole

 

Never Broken from the whole: 

without interruption - and this is the true experience of life, that events aren't broken to distinct timelines, only changing through the new appearance of something other than before. My life is always now. It's inescapable and nothing interrupts its flow. Yes, the unexpected happens, sometimes sudden and often not at all what I would wish for. But life continues, different now perhaps, yet seamless too - the essence of being alive, let's call it presence, simply allows one more thing within its hold. Life goes on. Never broken from the whole. 

for me, this is grace - just a term for life's allowing nature, how it always continues on a course I can't control, and yet always seems to accept my every way of being. Through this I can relax in an easy knowing that nothing is permanent, life wasn't broken by an unwanted appearance, that through this seamless grace I remain whole, unbroken in the essence that I am. 

this is easy for me to know, although for years it was unnoticed - just my view alone holds the world unbroken, one object continuing to the next without real interruption, a true connection of formlessness in its becoming of something solid. So too with listening, every sound emerging from its silent hold, and still silence remains, lending itself for the music of the world to be made. More subtle, my thoughts too belong within this flow - how I find myself aware of what's whispered through the mind, a presence of some inner listening that never seems to waiver. 

this seems an endless pattern, a design of continuation that simply allows life's full expression - whatever that may be. Through this I find myself included, not part of the whole, but uninterrupted in my inclusion, seamless, complete. 

what I am - is never broken from the whole. 

~

Peace, Eric