Just Enough to Matter

Just enough to matter: 

winter solstice is just about a month away, with the least amount of light shown for any day of the year, winter begins, and usually I find myself sliding towards my own darkest hours of depression. It's not strictly seasonal, there's no annual rhythm to my lowest moods. But the short, cold days of winter certainly bring the worst to me. Yet there's a promise here too - after solstice is a shift towards more light, if only slightly at first, maybe barely noticed by my mind, but registered by eyes and body, a subtle response as I find myself opening to the presence of this extra sunlight. 

sometimes even the smallest thing, maybe barely noticed...

is just enough to matter. 

it's that way with a lot of things, important for me to consider with my wellness practice, how diet, yoga, meditation, and the smallest daily actions add to ability to navigate some of those darker days. What I find is that it's never just one point that comes to me aide, it's the entirety of my practice, from first moment of gratitude for upon rising to the breathwork I use to close the day and prepare for slumber. 

everything counts.

even if barely noticed.

this is far less monotonous is detail than it might seem, really almost the opposite, as even the most well planned structure of my day now feels entirely spontaneous. There's a seamlessness to these events, continuously catching me by surprise as I find them arriving to my day. Yes, it's certainly a paradox, and one I embrace completely, a healing process, small things that add to a growing sense of joy. All of them being just enough to matter. 

to me at least.

and so a find myself without the former dread that used to face me during these shorter days. My mood still shifts in darkness occasionally, sometimes often. But it seems to be one more spontaneous appearance to me now, not lasting for days, simply clouds that fill my mind, yet an ever present spaciousness still remains, untouched by thoughts-clouds in their passing. I have no idea why this has occurred, it feels to be a bit of a healing, not a cure really, a shift, slight....

yet just enough to matter.

~

Peace, Eric