Salabhasana

Salabhasana: 

it often seems that certain asanas fall in and out of favor with my body, or a pose captures my imagination only to leave me struggling to realize its full potential. Sometimes, physically, I'm just not for the challenge, a pose is simply beyond my body's capability, and that's hard for me to accept as I'm used to being able to work through issues and become fairly comfortable in some of the most difficult poses. Of course my body has carried me through so many challenges over the course of a lifetime, hard earned miles and heavy weights, pushing past many of my perceived limits. My yoga practice at this point in my life is not meant to be another challenge, it's restorative, healing, a cause for the celebration of energy, grace, and motion offered through each asana.

there's no reason for me to struggle. 

only to surrender.

and celebrate this motion. 

right now it's a relatively easy pose that's giving me trouble, It's one I've never considered very challenging before, Salabhasana, locust pose, and when it's fully expressed presents a beautiful curved line along the spine, as if a smile of elegance and grace. This is a pose that came rather easily to me, my legs lifting  high, a long extension of my spine, strong, breathing comfortably through its hold. Perhaps it's the hard earned miles behind me, my back no longer capable of ease in some asanas. I'm older, and there are many things that aren't quite as easy for me now. 

maybe Salabhasana is one. 

but I'm not ready to let this one go, not just yet. I'm goal is a more gentle expression of this pose, adjusting it to my expectations and capabilities. My natural tendency to push a little more, hold an asana a bit longer, has to be subdued, for now at least, and certainly for this pose. It's a different challenge, and I'm sure they'll be similar ones as time rolls on. There might be a point when I'm no longer able to do Salabhasana comfortably at all, and if so, sadly, it will be surrendered. 

not yet though.

it seems there's more to be explored here,

another lesson to unfold. 

and it's not time to let Salabhasana go. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Struggle

Struggle: 

my writing seldom focuses on my past issues with alcohol, barely mentioned that I can recall, and only a few times that it was actually the topic featured. On other creative outlets I talk about it frequently and often at length. Yet writing, for me, somehow seems more intimate and personal, as if I'm committing long held secrets to the page and should only allow certain themes to be shared. I'm often asked to share more of my past issues, as maybe others will be able to learn from experience and struggles. 

I'm embarrassed to write though, of how little I truly struggled. 

yes, I could easily have been classified an alcoholic, drinking daily and in excess, solely to be drunk and, at least in my thinking then, have a good time. There was no struggle with this, my social life was a large focus, I was committed to bars and drinking and the friends that shared a similar lifestyle. I felt engaged with others, even through my haze of drink soaked thinking. I also had a remarkable knack of shrugging off every bad quality and aspect that surfaced, my often irresponsible and self-centered behavior excused by the pursuit of excess alcohol and having a good time. 

there was no struggle here. 

only selfishness and stupidity. 

entirely my own. 

so I wrecked cars and relationships with equal regard, hurting others in the wake, seldom pausing to truly care. But I never struggled, because if I slowed down enough to really consider my life, the ugliness would come rushing forward unchecked, overwhelming me, and everything would need to change. Then, indeed there would be a struggle. 

I wasn't ready for that. 

until I was. 

and then alcohol, and bars, and a large degree of selfish behavior...

were simply gone. 

it was an epiphany of sorts. 

or maybe grace. 

undeserved of course. 

an event occurred, nothing tragic, but enough to have me consider my entire life before - a break in my current thinking appeared and provided me an opportunity to simply step into a new direction. For some reason, again, maybe grace, I did, and never once looked back to reconsider. In a single moment I was reborn as someone free from drinking and the lifestyle that it held. I was done, no struggle to quit, no meetings or relapse.

just done. 

and I have no idea how any of this happened. 

so it's difficult to write about. 

why do I deserve this grace when so many others were lost in their struggle for a better life? I'm not sure there is an answer, I certainly have none, other than I was ripe for change. My entire life had brought me to this point, an undercurrent of struggle never realized before and it finally broke me open to it's flow. 

for whatever reason...

I was ready. 

truthfully, I had always hid from struggle, masking it, not ready to confront it until life took away my every other option. Alcohol was never really my struggle, nor even my true addiction. My thoughts were, I was addicted to a certain way of thinking, and I was unable to break free from its hold. 

until I was. 

again, maybe it was grace. 

but I was given a clear moment, an instant when my every previous belief disappeared and that undercurrent of struggle broke through and carried an entire lifetime away. For whatever reason...I was free. Not from struggle, nor any sorrow or sense of suffering, but from my own addiction of believing my every thought  and belief were true. 

I was free to reconsider. 

and everything has changed. 

Peace, Eric 

My Life as an Asana

My life as an asana: 

I like to think of my life as an asana, especially in the classical sense of Patanjali's description, holding a pose with steadiness and ease, finding just the right point of comfort no matter what confronts me. This is taking my practice off the mat and facing life through all of its complexities, sorrows, and concerns, unwavering in my commitment to accept whatever's offered. Finding just the right point of grace and effort to navigate through it all. 

my life as an asana...

stable, steady, comfortable. 

even as I fall from the grace of my position. 

or maybe especially so. 

the real practice is in the repeated effort, falling from a moment's sense of stability and then simply beginning again, adjusting, adapting to the current conditions. It's about finding steadiness through the process of my commitment, always returning to the present asana that life is now offering. I don't get to choose what comes to me, life is a continuous surprise of motion. Yet this is the opportunity of my practice, to be caught by surprise and instantly adjusting, balancing, again coming to just the right point of grace and effort. 

my life as an asana. 

it's my practice. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Imagined

Imagined: 

perhaps the greatest value of my practice, meditation and yoga, has been an ever growing sense of empathy and compassion. It's seems that I'm simply unable to think the way I used to, my former life was too small for the inclusion it now holds and I find that it's expanding even further, holding more and so many to the point of bursting past its borders. 

there are no longer any clear lines between us. 

as if there ever were. 

I see now that they were always imagined. 

so really, the true value of my practice is in seeing the seamlessness of our connection, how the world is just a continuum of events and seeming objects, but without any real division. Empathy is the end result of this seeing and compassion is my own nature spontaneously arising to situations that demand my care. It's the natural conclusion to years of practice, my heart finally and fully broke open to now hold the entire world. 

with no exceptions. 

as if there ever were. 

I see clearly that there were always imagined. 

it's not that I didn't care before, there's always been a high degree of compassion. But through the years it's expanded past any point of containment, a tenderness exists that continuously draws my attention towards the smallest details of life that once escaped my notice. A flower's bloom is seen as a miraculous event of cooperation between seed, earth, rain, and sun - everything plays a part for it to blossom. What's seen is how life always operates for the miraculous to happen, everything is the outcome of a continuous story, never completely told, still unfolding even as it seems the world has moved on. 

perhaps the greatest value of my practice is in noticing these details. 

how life simply and always continues. 

there's never been a true ending to our story...

they've only been imagined. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Our Seat

Our seat: 

asanas are only mention three times in the Yoga Sutras, an entire book that's considered to hold the essential teachings of our practice and our most favored aspect is barely discussed at all. However, the directions for proper use of asanas are explicitly stated - sutra 2:46: sthira sukham asanam, that our posture should be steady, stable, and comfortable. Patanjali had meditation in mind when he wrote this, the word asana is translated as seat in English, and his instructions here offer us the advice of finding comfort in our seat, not just on the meditation cushion or yoga mat. 

but holding our seat within the world as well. 

finding comfort exactly where we are. 

wherever that might be. 

with this advice in mind, life becomes our practice, every moment is an opportunity to find our proper seat, a position of steadiness and peace even as the world seems give reasons for our sway. The objective here is acceptance, that our true comfort isn't dependent upon external circumstances, we take our seat wherever we find ourselves and commit to a stable position, and this could even be through the highest winds of emotional turmoil - we remain steady in our inner seat. 

the point to remember is that yoga is our practice and that it takes place through all of life, not only on the mat or meditation cushion. Asanas are a trial run of tension and relaxation, sitting in meditation is the process of observing the interactions of the mind and easing our way through whatever conflicts they present until completely absorbed in silence. 

steady, stable, comfortable. 

we take our seat within the world. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Easy Prayer of Motion

it's designed as a show of gratitude, not by me, but arriving as a show of motion, spontaneous, and yet with an inherent intent of gratefulness displayed throughout. My morning yoga sequence originally started as just a few rounds of Sun Salutation in order to warm my body and prepare it for the coming day. I also wanted to invoke a sense of prayer, brief, an easy way of saying thank you to every part concerned, from joints, vertebrae, and individual muscles all slowing waking to the morning - all the way to the day itself and everything involved in it's arrival. 

an easy prayer of motion. 

grace. 

from this initial intent it's become a bit more involved, still brief, only slightly longer then water boiling a kettle for my morning coffee. Other asanas have now been added, just a few, some inversions and back extensions, a forward fold and deep garland squat, all of then spontaneous in their order, appearing as a faint idea that my body immediately responds to, as if obeying some sort of higher commend. It almost feels like channeled yoga, my easy prayer of motion suddenly becoming more involved, expressing an energy directly given from the cusp of night giving way to dawn. My body is showing gratitude as its own response, a deep wisdom displayed as it reaches through each posture, knowing exactly what pose to sequence to and there's never any need for me to question. 

it's still an easy prayer of motion. 

only now it's more truly spontaneous, gratitude shown through my initial movements, and then each asana chosen by some some inherent wisdom of the body, linked together by the subtle energy of light emerging to another day. There are infinite things for me to be grateful for -

my body knows this. 

deeply so.

and displays it through an easy prayer of motion. 

every morning. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Their Release

Their release: 

it's with deep appreciation, that anyone finds my writing worth even a moment of their time and spends just a few minutes here to read them, it amazes me - and thank you, sincerely so. I believe that the final creative act of any artist is in sharing their work, and after that it's largely released from their concern. It's like a completion of some sort of holy ritual, cleansing, and then a new work of art begins. Someone reading these words is less important than their release. 

only then am I truly ready to write again. 

my writing is crafted carefully, words chosen for their lyrical sound within my head, seeking resonance as they're read aloud, always ready to drop an extra word if it even slightly disturbs the flow. Often, everything is composes around a single line that I find beautiful, the entire prose serves only to highlight those particular words. That's enough for me, writing a line that strikes me so deeply, that causes a smile as I read it again in final draft, and then I'm done - everything I hope for in my writing has been accomplished. 

and it's time for their release. 

sharing is the final ritual of writing. 

I keep in mind that once shared, words are no longer really mine, if they ever were at all. Anyone who reads them is free in their interpretation as well as their critique. Even praise is held lightly, although again deeply appreciated, but it's always for past writing, words that have been released, and my concern is solely on the present tense,  on words arriving now. 

a new ritual begun. 

`

Peace, Eric 

Bhujangasana

Bhujangasana: 

perhaps as equal in recognition to yoga as the headstand, Bhujangasana or cobra pose is an elegant line curved through the spine, head reaching upwards, chest opened in expansion of the heart. It's a beautiful asana, a favorite of mine since my first practice. This is a complex pose even though it appears quite easy to accomplish. There's more reliance on the spine and the arms only play a supporting role. Our initial inclination is to push through with the arms, lessening the back bend, arriving at that beautiful sweeping curve. Yet the actual pose takes commitment to strengthen the spine, only arriving at the fraction of the height that using the arms would allow. Through this we slowly arrive at the full expression of the pose, an elegant line, curved, our hearts opened to the world. 

a beautiful pose. 

body wise this is a back strengthening asana, working the abdominal, as well as supportive muscles that play an active role. Done correctly, and gently, Bhujangasana is a perfect pose for beginning yoga, fixing many issues of lower back pain, and internally working the digestive organs for better function. Really, this is an all important asana, a full taste of yoga in a single pose. My own practice never fails to include Bhujangasana, it's a sacred pose to me, the essence of yoga. 

beautiful.

an elegant line curved through the spine. 

as of a smile. 

~

Peace, Eric  

To Make My Yoga Beautiful

To make my yoga beautiful:

my only real aim now, as far my practice is concerned, is to make my yoga beautiful. This is less about appearance than it may sound, it's not a matter for judgement, nor a measure of success for others to witness. I will be the only one who knows when this occurs, they'll be no teacher to praise me, no audience to applaud. Truthfully, I might not even know exactly when or even how this may happen. I'm not sure if there'll be a specific moment, a smile that signifies that something magical has happened, or if this will be a process of slow adjustments, slight shifts that suddenly seem to cause a surrender to the asanas flow. 

all I know is that my aim is to make my yoga beautiful. 

however it might occur. 

so it's not really a goal, it's too vague for that, and it's not meant to be a comparison to anything, my own progress being included. Of course beauty is subjective, or at least in its traditional sense. But this is something else entirely, an intern built through the fabric of my body, inherent in every cell, as if an urge for some divine expression to show through. 

somehow. 

and the only way for this to happen is through my practice, giving just the right amount of effort, yet relaxed as well, realizing the deep joy that's found through motion. Someday's, certain sessions, or a particular pose, and I feel very close to something magical happening. There's a hint of a smile that spreads directly from my heart, a warmth of energy that courses through my body. Most importantly though, it seems that I dissolve within the pose, there's only motion and then a surrender to its completion, as if the universe universe has paused for just an instant to allow this moment to occur. 

it's magical.

maybe even beautiful. 

and I'm not the one who made it happen. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Trepidation

Trepidation: 

what I most love is the sense of a beginning, that the screen appears empty on my arrival and simply waits for words to be given, always willing to hold whatever's on my mind each morning. Of course too, this often comes with some trepidation, a blank page holds promise as well as some certain expectations to be fulfilled. Through the years of these mornings, facing the emptiness of the page before me - I've learned to relax and trust that words will arrive upon their own scheduled time.

and that my only role is patience. 

it's true for every artist. 

really, it's actually rare that I know exactly what I'll write of, having a theme in mind is a gift I never take lightly. Fortunately, curiosity takes my thoughts in infinite directions and I no longer have a fear of being judged or criticized for whatever it is I write. There's a sense of freedom now, expressiveness, and with this comes the inspiration to write and share whatever concerns me in the moment. 

it's just writing after all. 

really, of no great importance. 

and that's what I remind myself whenever a hint of trepidation appears, that it's just writing and of this particular moment holds the limited audience of one. There is no reason for even the smallest fear, inspiration will always arrive in the most unusual way, leaving a thread to follow, a path from empty page to its fulfillment. 

words. 

even one is just enough...

as if left as a clue for me to follow.

and being curious now, 

writing starts to happen. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Thinking My Mantra

Thinking my mantra: 

really, it's the mantra that does the work, quieting thoughts to soft hush before they fade completely, carrying me to what seems an ever deepening silence. My role in this process is always easy, I'm not tasked to do anything at all but to make myself comfortably thinking my mantra, easily, always gently, and innocently returning every time my thoughts might wander. It's not about awakening to any higher state of consciousness, nor am I seeking enlightenment -  this is just being restful in my own natural point of awareness, doing absolutely nothing....

sitting.

thinking my mantra. 

and everything else happens on its own.

I have practiced many methods of meditation through the years, following the breath as it grows more subtle, body scan with attention given to each sensation as it arises and again gives way, deep concentration on a sacred passage - all have had value to me. Yet it was my first session with the mantra that I actually felt like I arrived home. There was little concentration involved, no hard effort, only a gentle repetition of a mantra that had a rhythm and pace of its own. My mind latched to a vibrational pattern that was offered and allowed itself to naturally quiet down, just a bit at times, but often very deeply, profoundly, and there was a complete surrender to this silence. 

again,

it felt like being home. 

and all I do is think my mantra.

yes, there's a technique involved, or more truly instructions on trusting the process that unfolds. Mostly, a teacher clears up misconceptions of what meditation really is. The sooner we surrender to the inner sound of the mantra the easier it goes. There's never a reason to struggle, and if we are, that's the first symptom of our effort. It's telling us to let go, to listen to this ancient primordial sound, and follow it's rhythm as it leads us through the space between whatever thoughts are present. 

always easily. 

never a struggle. 

just thinking our mantra. 

~

Peace, Eric 

About Politics

although I consider myself politically astute and concerned with policies that have the potential to alter the course of life for generations to come - I seldom write overtly about politics. This isn't out of fear that I may offend those who read, nor a desire to stay clear of these issues during my writing. It's mostly because I know it will make little difference to others, some readers who know my politics will either skip it or give reasons why I'm wrong, causing more of a debate than an insightful discussion. I'm not drawn to argue much anymore, not over your beliefs, nor even my own. 

about politics...

I'd rather write about yoga, meditation, breathwork, being immersed in nature. 

and there's a reason for this, honestly, I believe a political view is likely to expand when any of the above are practiced sincerely. Maybe not everyone, but certainly those who embrace with humility and a wish for transformation. The path of yoga itself starts with ethical restraints, calling on us to consider leading a life of non-harm, the absence of lying, and stealing, the right use of energy, and letting go of greed. These are considered restraints because once subdued, the opposite effect grows, expanding to fill the void of the behaviors we left behind. In the absence of harm, there's peace, a true sense of peace that is is all inclusive in its hold. It's the same for everyone of these issues, and it's a gentle practice, urging us to simply be aware of the harm that we may be part of, or lies that might be told that we believe are harmless.

everything changes through the lens of our awareness. 

the practice of yoga, meditation, breathwork, and even a short time spent daily in nature, they all have the tendency to expand our awareness. Our sense of a personal self dissolves, however slightly. and the borders of our concerns expand to hold others, compassion and empathy grow, and with this our politics become an issue of our practice, a natural reflection. 

so I write about yoga. 

or nature. 

and maybe, a soft urge of inspiration will whisper in a readers ear. Perhaps they'll examine their yoga practice and rediscover the beginning of the path, those ethical restraints and observances. Or they'll begin to meditate, or add a short walk to their routine and experience the joy of being in nature so early in the morning. Maybe none of these things will happen, mostly likely that's the case, and I'm fine with that as well. I write about the things I love, my own experience with their practice. My goal of sharing what I write isn't to cause change - but to simply share my own inspiration. 

about politics...

I'd rather write about nature. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Colder

Colder: 

fall has settled in now, my earliest walks are in chill air and it takes a bit longer for my body to adjust to these cooler mornings. I know that winter is not so far off, steadily approaching and the chill will turn to a bitter cold and make some of these walks close to unbearable for me. It's not so much the temperature, I can bundle warm and brace against the cold, warming as I walk more briskly. What concerns me is the underlying presence of a mild depression, not seasonal, but often triggered by the weather, made worse by the shorter days of sunlight. 

winter is just a harder season for me, for many of us who experience depression. 

I recently watched a clip posted on social media where someone stated that he doesn't believe in depression, that it's imagined and the person who suffers only need to move more often, eat better, think happier thought, and above all - be more stoic. This actually isn't unfamiliar advice to me, it's how I've long approached my situations and some of it has helped ease me through no small amount of my darker days. Yet it's odd to hear someone say that don't believe in depression, or to be given advice from one who might not understand the severity of this condition. 

it's never easy. 

but someday's are easier than others. 

in colder seasons, those days are often few.

through the years depression has settled in and made itself comfortable here, it's not going away and I no longer seek to chase it from my experience. It's a familiar guest, unsuspected in visits or length of stay, but one that no longer floors me by surprise. Somehow, even on the coldest mornings, I find it easier to maneuver around its edge, not attempting to keep it at bay, but simply noting its presence, perhaps softening to its inevitable visit. Really, it's somewhat of a surrender, letting go of an urge to fight or flee, settling in to its approach and not denying that my days might be more difficult now, harder in many ways. 

especially when it's colder. 

for whatever reason, or maybe it's the many points of my practice, meditation, breathwork, yoga - it's somewhat easier now, never easy, but I'm long familiar with this presence and I'm able to welcome a guest that makes life more difficult for me. 

no matter how long it might stay.

or even that it's uninvited. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Not a Teacher

Not a teacher: 

I'm not a yoga teacher, not an expert of any kind, and have actually just stopped short of my 200-hour teachers training course. To go further would be to enter the classroom, learning to teach a class, instruct a group of people through a sequence of asanas. There's absolutely no interest for me there, although it certainly is a worthy endeavor if one feels called in that direction. It doesn't seem that I am though, or at least not yet, it's doubtful that I ever will. I value the practice of asanas, before I even meditated I had a regular series of postures I performed almost daily. But even then I knew that there was more to yoga than asanas, a larger purpose, and I found myself drawn in that direction. For over 30 years now I've meditated daily, perhaps there was a session lost here or there, but largely it's been a committed practice and my life has changed drastically since beginning. 

it seems that I've built my practice from the back end to the front, a reverse journey of the yogic path, coming all the way to the ethical considerations that traditionally begin the teaching. I think mainly it's because I've been extremely physical through life, fitness orientated, and it was easy to forget the true purpose of asanas, they simply became part of my fitness routine. Of course the yoga classes that I've attended over the years have encouraged this, most offering little more than a brief philosophical overview before turning full attention to firmer thighs and flatter abs. Important issues, but in a larger context these are more of a byproduct of our practice and not the goal. 

Patanjali states it succinctly in his sutras -

yogas chitta vrtti nirodha. 

yoga is the cessation of the fluctuation of the mind. 

and this doesn't happen by force or through intense concentration, but only through the gentle persistence of our practice, returning to poses again and again, the soft repetition of mantra or easy focus on the breath. This is where a guide proves invaluable, urging our return to this very basic principle, constantly leading us back towards the true purpose of yoga. 

I'm not a teacher, or even a guide. 

but maybe I can be a signpost, a reminder of our true and most important steps along the path, using words to gently serve as guardrails preventing a yogi from wandering too far away. I'm certainly not a teacher, but I am persistent with my practice - and I'm eager to share my enthusiasm. Really, I'm just a fellow yogi, and my own words serve in this commitment. 

writing is simply part of my practice. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Several Bodies

 

Several bodies: 

my body has been an able instrument through the years, carrying me far, performing feats that seem fairly incredible now, and most of all serving to bring here to this point in time. I take none of this for granted. It actually feels like I've been blessed with several bodies, transforming from infant to my middle years, and that through a life filled by training for vastly different pursuits it's appearance as varied greatly. At one time my interest was in lifting heavy weights and my body reflected this effort with increased size, I was bulky, powerful. A few years later and my interest turned more towards endurance, and again my body shifted to show this turn, shedding bulk and gaining the advantage of being able to travel with grace and ease over difficult trails. 

it's seems I'm not quiet done.

there's more changes yet to come. 

through all of this my practice of yoga has been a constant, keeping my fairly agile flexible no matter the changes that occurred. It almost feels that indeed I've had bodies  through the years and that each has been shed to reveal a near final version, closer to essence now, streamlined to carry me to my last years. In many ways I'm as strong and fit as ever, still capable of performing the activities that hold my interest. 

but it certainly feels different now. 

of several bodies...

I'm close to the final one. 

this last last is more concerned with energy, a transformation to a body of light, luminous, yet subtle. I feel my body changing, aches giving way to a lightness of being, there's less of a drive for performance and more joy in a certain stillness found at the depth of motion. This is a yogi's body, or at least a turn towards this last direction. 

through several bodies, 

I'm nearest to bare essence.

lighter 

and more full of light. 

a yogi's body. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Frequencies

Frequencies; 

it's not just hearing sounds, really that's just one response and the entire body is keen in reception, vibrational patterns being detected throughout the field of our existence. With out bodies being 70% water we are perfect conductors for frequencies, listening more with our entirety than just the ears alone. This is the powerful effect of music, why we're propelled to dance, vibrations coursing through the limbs and causing an ecstatic response. 

we are fully listening. 

we now know that babies hear within the womb, the rhythm of their mother's heartbeat first, and then later the outside world begins to seep in, voices, life sounds. It's one of our earliest senses as well as being one of the very last to leave as we die. New studies reveal that the dying brain response to sound even through its final stage, and loving words offered will indeed bring comfort past the point our heartbeat ends. In the hours after my father passed away I sat with him through the night, unaware of these studies, yet knowing that his consciousness was still present, his essence, and I would even call it his soul. What I offered him was love, the comfort of a familiar voice, my own frequency matched to his, and perhaps this was all only for my benefit, but these were valuable moments shared between us. 

a final listening...

I am sure the last thing my father heard was the frequency of my love. 

my meditation practice is based on sound, vibrations detected throughout consciousness and leading me towards a silent field of listening. And of course this isn't my only mantra, nature offers its own primordial sounds, drawing me to listen closer, subtle qualities speaking more fully to my soul. This is how I return to nature, simply listening, dropping beneath any perceived meaning to a pureness unaffected by the the sounds of a busier world. 

it's the frequencies of my own true being. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Where Yoga Begins

Where yoga begins: 

it's where yoga begins, placed here for an exact reason, and everything that follows is built from this foundation. The yamas and niyamas are the essence of yoga, its life blood, and no single pose has as much value as their practice. Theses are the ethical guidelines for the yogi to follow, 5 restraints and 5 observances and together they offer the moral ground from which the yogic path continues. Without them - it's all simply fitness, beneficial, but not leading us to highest point of yoga. 

it's where yoga begins. 

the foundation of our practice. 

there's a reasons for this, of course, and not just for the practical consideration of our moral well being, although that's obviously important. Yet there's a clear genius to the yogic plan, steps that lead us all the way to the greatest sense of ease and joy. Taken to the end and we're actually gaining our liberation from the entrapment of our mind's behavior, freedom. But it all begins here with the yamas and niyamas, and the reason is that these guidelines steady the mind, easing us of concern and worry, providing a clear way forward with our practice. 

and as always that's key, practice, that we're meant to actually commit to their observance, even as we so often fail to reach our full potential. We're not asked to be perfect, but only to practice, beginning again every time it seems we stray from their design. 

it's our practice. 

what we soon discover is that even if they're often difficult to observe, they're benefits are clearly observable and every other aspect of our practice begins to gain in steadiness and meaning. Our foundation is now built solid. 

we have a clear path to follow.

and this where yoga begins. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Quest for Power

Quest for power: 

politics is certainly a difficult subject to write of these days, maybe it's always been so, but particularly now with a bitterly divided nation, perhaps more so than any other time since the civil way. Sadly. It seems largely tribal, or at least it appears that way to me, tribes in a quest for power to rule with policies that demand the other to conform to their opinions. Of course both sides lose here, even if one seems to be the winner there is resent and plotting for their demise from power. No one ever truly wins in a quest for power over others - the entire nation will eventually lose. 

what we're really talking about here is force, not power, that there are some who literally demand that others believe exactly as they do, or close enough as to belong fully to their tribe. With this attitude there is no working across any politically divided aisle for the benefit of a nation, for people, not even neighbors. Only the belief in power for the sake of power. 

but again, it's more truly, simply force. 

an illusion, no matter how lasting. 

author David Hawkins said this quiet clearly and beautifully when he stated that force creates opposition while power brings unity. It's the difference between healing and ignoring a wound for the sake of appearance. True healing only takes place when proper conditions are met, and then the innate power of the body takes charge, gently bringing us back to wholeness. Healed. That's power, and no amount of force will ever help us heal. 

for me, I'm always struck by the wisdom of yoga, it's complete path, from practicing it's ethical restraints and personal observances at the very beginning all the way to its conclusion of clear seeing, freedom from the afflictions that prevent us from being truly loving to one another. There's a genius of practice here, a real quest for power, yet not over another, or even ourselves, but simply the power to observe the quality of our own mines and then to rest in its natural compassion. 

my own opinion, it's the only quest worth taking. 

~

Peace, Eric  

Uttanasana

Uttanasana: 

few asanas help me feel as good physically as uttanasana, standing forward bend, and it's not even a pose that I'm particularly adept at, having hamstrings that seem to tighten up almost immediately to their original limits just minutes after a lengthy yoga session. But this asana is at the end of my practice, one of the very past postures and by this point I am primed in my approach, loose, and more able to bring my face to knees and hands to meet the floor. It's a beautiful pose when it reaches completion, with chest against the thighs, no bend to the knees, the entire body appearing supple. 

there's a grace that belies the effort given here. 

it's the epitome of yoga. 

which, of course, often causes me to rush success, or at least my vision of success. After decades of practice my expectations still exceed my limits, having an urge to push just a bit further into a pose to meet my ideal of grace and beauty. Uttanasana is the perfect example, not any two sessions bring the same results, with certain days seeming as if gravity is suspended and I slip easily into every pose, and others offering me a longer struggle to gain even the slightest sense of ease. When I'm caught in this pattern, a thought loop, there's a failure to see that each asana offers me an opportunity to display a different sort of grace, one that isn't based upon comparison nor vision of success.  It's the grace brought to every moment of struggle and acceptance, a dedication to imperfect beauty, embracing what my limits are right now without the incessant need of pushing forward. What's amazing is that by working within the structure of what each asana offers, over time I find that am far beyond whatever limits were once imposed. 

there is a certain grace displayed by effort alone. 

as well as our surrender.

uttanasana almost always brings me this reminder, striving to a particular point and then simply letting go, my only results being exactly what this moment offers. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Headless Yoga

Headless Yoga: 

what I most love about sarvangasana, shoulder stand, is the perspective it gives me, how my view is immediately altered by feet reaching through the air and shoulders firmly planted on the ground. It's headless yoga really, an instant recognition of myself as spaciousness, an aware capacity that intimately knows itself as being seamless with the world. 

sarvangasana is known as the queen of asanas, offering near endless benefits from its practice. It's long been a favorite of mine, perhaps because of the ease of my first attempt, naturally arriving to its completion with little effort needed. There are posture that still defy comfort and lack a fine degree of grace even after decades of practice. Yet the shoulder stand seemed to welcome me from the very beginning of my yoga journey, as if gravity would loosen its grip for just the moment of this pose and allow me to gain access to the spaciousness of this view. 

headless yoga indeed. 

right from the start. 

of course I didn't have the words to describe this, only after my encounter with Douglas Harding and the Headless Way did my perspective have a sense of intellectual understanding. But the wonderful thing was that it never needed any explanation, I was seeing, without need or use of words. It was the simplicity of everything being exactly as it is - open, spacious, and aware. 

headless.

sarvangasana is always near the beginning of my practice, and it's a posture that's held for the greatest length of time. I love to flow easily into this pose, as if slipping seamlessly into my natural view, returning to my original sense of the world. It's like coming home. And this often stays for the duration of my practice, a shift of perspective that gives a clear view of reality and every asana after is just a continuum of an infinite practice, causeless, ongoing since the dawn of time. 

headless yoga. 

~

Peace, Eric 

A Yogi's Smile

A Yogi's smile; 

a slight smile, just a small turn of lips at each corner as an asana is held, a yogi's smile. At first this comes as a reminder, serving to remind us to relax during the most stressful aspects of a pose. It's only later that this smile becomes quite natural, playing easily against the lips, a sign of deepening practice and the joy that comes through motion and settling into the stillness of our minds. 

a yogi's smile. 

in numerous ways it's a contradiction, so many things happening at once that would seem to keep a smile at bay. Even the simplest postures require some degree of concentration, and there are quite a few that demand a high degree of concentration. Yoga is the way of effort, not an easy path, a lot is asked of us and perhaps a smile might be a trivial matter in light of all we do. But really, it's a conscious smile, a recognition of our effort and how it eventually leads to grace. 

at a certain point...a yogi's smile is quite spontaneous. 

a natural response to silence found. 

there's science behind this too, a chemical reaction, hormones released that cause a joyful effect of practice. Yoga makes us happy. What's discovered is that stress doesn't have to be a reactionary affair, that we are not always at the mercy of its call, with little options of our response. Practicing yoga is the lessening of our emotional patterns, over time we become less pulled into reactions and more considerate of situations that once demanded a reflective action. 

we ease into the response of a yogi's smile. 

compassionate. 

natural. 

spontaneous. 

~

Peace, Eric 

A Single Cup

A single cup: 

I used to drink several cups of coffee a day, at least two, sometimes three first thing in the morning and then in the pre-Covid days it was a ritual to go to the book store cafe for coffee and a bit of socializing with friends. These days it's a single cup, strong, but never more than one. With this reduction comes a mindful quality to its preparation as well as every sip taken. This been a flavor gained now that was absent to me before and it's one brought to me by attention, an awareness shown though the ritual of carefully preparing my one cup for the day, giving thanks for it's taste and place within my morning. 

sitting at my desk, 

sipping mindfully between intervals of writing...

a single cup is all I need.

this has become part of my practice, yoga really, fitting in seamlessly with my breathwork and meditation, water boiling as I move through my early session of asanas, and then drinking at my desk as I write whatever words the morning holds for me. My first hours of the day slide by in this fashion, unremarkable in its regularity, and yet....

such a beautiful feel to it all. 

I love every aspect of my practice. 

and a single cup of coffee helps me bring some focus to my routine, nothing is taken for granted here, not the motion of my body as I ease my way through sun salutations, nor each sip taken as I wait for words to arrive. One cup reminds me to be grateful for all I have, so much given, and it took the cooperation of the entire universe to bring this cup of coffee to me, from proper alignment of the sun to just amount of rain and the many people who work for its production. 

this community of effort is all contained within a single cup. 

and my ever sip reminds me to be grateful. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Tree Pose

Tree Pose: 

vrksasana, tree pose, and this posture is about stability, poise, reestablishing our deepest connection earth through our commitment to finding balance. It's a simple asana yet tree pose is deceptively difficult in performance, and to me it seems to hold the entire essence of yoga as stated in Patanjali's sutras - chitta Vritti nirodha, that yoga is the cessation of the fluctuation of the mind, or regaining our most natural composure. 

standing as a tree,

rooted to earth.

reaching through the sky. 

it's a beautiful posture, and for a minutes hold on both sides I am sometimes blessed with just an instant of  true poise, my breath grown soft, spine long and arms stretched upwards, balanced on a single foot with the other one pressed strong against my thigh. Of course if I even think of celebration I am immediately  thrown from the pose, having lost my sense of poise to ego, and once more need to reestablish my connection. What I find is that if I reach that moment of balance, when everything seems to flow towards an ease of strength and balance, a subtle smile plays natural against my lips, spontaneously, as if the earth itself is smiling through me. 

there's no ego involved. 

at least for the moment of that smile. 

the vast majority of my practice is spent falling, physically from a postures hold, and mentally from nirodha, stillness of the mind. What I truly practice is returning, coming back to a posture countless times and reconnecting with my inner smile, one that signifies my deep connection. 

it never matters how often I might fall...

nirodha always waits for my return. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Exactly As It Is

Exactly as it is: 

mostly, just allowing myself to meet nature exactly as it is each morning, bringing less with me to alter the immediacy of the landscape, with eyes and feet adjusting to the predawn pace. It's the simplicity of a morning walk, an extension of my sitting mediation now given to motion, with no need to go any faster than the light of stars and moon allow. 

my walks have become earlier now, missing the sunrise by at least an hour and walking mostly in the dark as I attempt to avoid streetlights and house lamps. I almost crave the dark, solitary, as if a need need to retreat even further within, even as I embrace the early morning world. And that seems to be the point here, not the avoidance of people or artificial light, but just a short return to the natural world, a truer silence and softer light, easing my way into the busyness of the fast arriving day. 

mostly, it's about allowing myself to meet nature...

exactly as it is each morning. 

mindfully, 

and not forcing my pace upon the world. 

only by this does nature heal, if we keep altering it with our preference and demands it becomes tame, true wilderness retreating ever farther from our view. And yes, there is true wilderness close at hand, as even my suburban landscape reveals to me a hidden landscape in plain view, mostly unseen as we hurry through our days. This is why I wake so early, before any rush begins, seeking to delay what's unavoidable, matching my pace with dawn's slow arrival and basking in a starlit world. 

allowing myself to meet nature,

exactly as it right now. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Pause

there's a sense of mystery to the page, and some fear as well. Each morning I arrive at my desk with hope that words will reach me here and I've seldom been disappointed. Yet there is always a bit of apprehension, especially on morning such as now, no clear theme taking shape, a sentence written and then followed by a long pause into silence.  Through the years though, after much practice, I've come to surrender to the pause, knowing that this is the very spaciousness from which words emerge and that my wait will always be fruitful. 

writing is a game of patience. 

all art is.

it's a gift to be inspired, to rush to the page and have words fill it with hardly a pause. I love those rare writing sessions, but equally so, I've come to appreciate the stretch of silence that holds no words. Those are a gift as well, moments that allow me a brief reflection and inward turn, an opportunity for a deeper expression to find me. My writing gathers more meaning through those long pauses, something greater, almost holy in its feel, always seems to emerge. 

and if not,

I simply sit in silence. 

sipping coffee, content with just a few words given.

sometimes...

that's how writing happens. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Now, The Teaching of Yoga

Now, the teaching of yoga: 

the Yoga Sutra begins with the straightforward message - now, the teaching of yoga, and I like to imagine that these were the very same words Patanjali spoke to me in most subtle tones at the most pivotal moments of my life. From an initial sense of tragic endings, broken, I was to begin a new life course towards a better, more clear understanding of my mind. 

from that shattered point on...

now, the teaching of yoga. 

and it truly seems that way, that my most profound moments of loss and sorrow turn me ever inwards, a new depth of care and compassion is found and my mind becomes a bit more steady in its resolve to guide me towards a deeper sense of healing. Yoga offers me the wisdom that nothing is escaped, I must face my sorrows head on with the certain faith that life itself will heal me. My role is only to continue onward, embracing each moment as it's offered, trusting my own innate ability to carry on. It's life that's my teacher, my true guru, urging me to surrender in a gentle fashion, not struggling against its currents but learning to navigate through the always changing motion.

now, the teaching of yoga...

these words whispering through me, a mantra, 

and with every moment

a new lesson. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Easy Crow

Easy crow: 

it's an arm balancing pose, beautiful when it comes together in completion, body parts aligned and poised in the air for an extended moment, perfectly balanced. This is sukha kakasana, easy crow pose, and as the name suggest it is an easier approach to a very difficult posture. The full version is more vertical, knees high up on the arms and close to the stomach, the entire body is tense and yet the asana requires a completely relaxed mind as well, any one point being off and the posture will crumble to the ground. It's the asana that most seems to capture Patanjali's beginning instructions -

yoga is to still the patterns of consciousness. 

and when sukha kakasana is balanced right, even for a moment, everything is indeed still, as if the world has paused in its spin just long enough for this posture to be held. I make less attempts now to master the full version of kakasana, it's still something that I spend sometime with, occasionally catching a brief moment balanced in the air, poised and confident. But easy crow holds more promise for me right now, requiring a high degree of balance yet I can surrender to the pose without a high degree of pain, giving myself fully to the entire process of resting in this deeper stillness. 

easy crow seems to offer an extended sense of concentration. 

a meditation for the entire length it's held. 

there might come a time when the full version calls to me more strongly, an intuitive pull to spend more time in the entirety of its expression. A few years ago I would always tackle these postures with my complete attention and energy, kakasana was a challenge to be mastered and it seemed my body was more able to meet these harder demands. I prefer an easy approach now, which is another type of challenge all together, a concession that my body has limits that I never realized before. Being older has indeed offered me some wisdom, my edge has softened a bit, and  I see that not every part of life is meant to be conquered. Poise is gained through increments, moments, and it's displayed by that perfect balance of tension and relaxation, taut body, the mind at ease. 

Patanjali's continues with this, his third sutra - 

that we practice yoga so that pure awareness can abide in it's very nature.

our only true challenge then...

is  simply realizing that this is what we are, 

already, always.

and easy crow is often my reminder. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Yamas

Yamas: 

in his Yoga Sutra's Patanjali offers the yogi five means of self restraint in order to cultivate the positive attributes of their opposite effect, meaning, for example, that we practice non-harming for the benefit of peacefulness, or non-lying for the sake of honesty and the clear seeing that's gained. These are two examples from the five Patanjali provides, although there are many more, but it's five that make up the beginning foundation of yoga. 

it's how we should begin our practice. 

oddly though, they're seldom mentioned in the modern yoga class, which is mainly now a means of fitness and better health, valuable, yet not the true aim of yoga. I love how Patanjali gets straight to the point in his sutras, beginning with his declaration that now begins the teaching of yoga and right away, the second sutra, tells us that yoga is the transformation of the mind from busyness to stillness, from noisiness to the return of it's more natural quiet nature. Of the 196 sutras, only three actually mention asanas and that's mainly for an effective seat for meditation. 

it's the transformation of the mind that he's after.

the basis for the entire path. 

beginning with the yamas. 

again, there are five of many that he puts forward for our practice, non-harming, truthfulness, non-stealing, right use of energy (often thought of as celibacy) and non-hoarding. Mostly they're stated in the negative, restraints on our behavior, yet more clearly this is seen as the cultivation of positive energy from putting the yamas in practice. As we practice non-harming (Ahimsa) peace pervades our lives. This doesn't necessarily mean the absence of chaos or violence, but that through our practice we become steadfast in a more peaceful response to the conditions of the world. Or as Gandhi stated, we become the change we wish to see. It's how our practice bares fruit.  

a worthy endeavor indeed. 

~

Peace, Eric 

My Yoga Practice

My yoga practice: 

there's a great deal of love for my yoga practice, it's not what everyone needs, but it's exactly what suits me best for these times and I'm completely devoted to its path. Most importantly, this doesn't involve any sense of searching for a final answer, it's not about arriving at any certain truth that will reveal the secrets of reality, perhaps providing me with enlightenment. I simply love yoga, how it affects my body and mind, calming me to the point of such easy acceptance of the world. 

there's no need for me to argue with reality.

things are exactly as they are.

and even now they're in the midst of changing. 

what yoga does provide is a deep change of physiology, a neurological restructure, polishing us from individual cells to vibrational brain waves, and we are then reassembled as something entirely new. It seems far fetched but modern science now largely bears this out. My personal thoughts are beyond the need to argue in the defense of yoga. I simply love my yoga practice, that it brings me immense joy through every aspect that it offers, from its psychological/philosophical foundations all the way to the asanas that I hold and the peacefulness of meditation. Yoga enlarges my world to the the point where absolutely nothing is excluded, everything belongs, at least for the moment of their appearance - and just as easily I surrender to a changing world, no longer grasping at things that weren't meant to stay for very long. 

or at least not so tightly. 

there's just less need to argue with reality. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Sukhasana

Sukhasana: 

my first asana of the day is almost immediately from bed, just moments after awakening, and it's also the longest held, up to half an hour or more quite often and never less than 20 minutes. This is Sukhasana, or the easy pose and it's my posture for meditation, really one of my first asanas ever learned as a child, legs folded comfortably under me for long duration's, no body parts complaining. We naturally sat this way as children, at ease with our bodies and the world, having not yet acquired any deep aches of body or soul, completely comfortable with who we are. 

sukhasana feels like a return to innocence for me.

home. 

a few years into my meditation practice, no longer skipping sessions or even days at a time, but committed now, vowing to myself that I would sit until my life had changed to one that felt more worthy of living. It wasn't enlightenment that I was after, back then it just felt like survival, that I was running out of time to be a functional adult, joy wasn't even in the equation. I was simply hoping to belong. My commitment soon led to longer meditations and with that I would discover limits to my body, being unable to sit in more advanced meditation postures for very long and even returning back to easy pose would cause my knees and back to ache well before my session ended. So with this I turned to a meditation bench, sitting Zen style in diamond pose, comfortable, back straight and knees free of pain. For the next two decades or so I meditated in this position and reached some amazing layers of self-discovery here. No longer concerned with mere survival or even fitting in, I came to find a true belonging within my body, being at home and at ease exactly where I am. 

and then not long ago, maybe a little past a year or so, sukhasana began to call to me, my meditation bench no longer felt like it was the proper place for sitting. I felt pulled to return closer to the earth, firmly planted in an easy pose, accepting the initial aches until the subsided to the pleasure of sitting in the innocence of this pose. It didn't take long at all, I was called to this posture for a reason, my body wishing a return to where everything started, not just meditation, but the origins of its deepest elements, earth focused, rooted close to ground and spine reaching long into the air. 

it feels like coming home. 

I have no idea how long the energy of this posture will last, if it will continue to hold me in this position for many more years or if I will return to meditation bench once more. It's not really a concern. Right now I am supported by earth and air, an easy pose of energy that courses through my body. It's enough that I've returned here, at home for however long this energy will last. 

for whatever reason...

sukhasana called for my return. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Spectacular Appearance

Spectacular appearance; 

my earliest walks are still in darkness, with first hint of dawn an hour or so away -and there was some mornings when I am fortunate to catch the moon in spectacular appearance, from sliver thin crescent all the way to the complete fullness of its beauty.  My first step outdoors yesterday brought me directly to the soft glow of moonlight, almost full, maybe just shy by a day, and researching it later I discover that it's in a Waning Gibbous phase, slightly past its peak fullness, yet still retaining so much of its luminous quality that there's little difference in its display. 

a spectacular appearance. 

I made several attempts to capture it with a photo, but my phone isn't made for such endeavors, it's camera simply not up for the task. As well, even as I entered the darkest parts of my suburban woods, a place where nocturnal animals seek to hide from an artificially lit world, there was just too much light from distant  porch lamps and lighted streets to do justice to this view. 

after my last attempt to it occurred to me that not everything is meant to be shared past the moment that it's offered. Somethings are meant to be basked in and not recorded, a spectacular appearance meant for ourselves alone and that even writing about it later will fail to capture intimacy of a waning moon and an early walker lost within its beauty. 

of course there will always be the wish to share, that's the role of every artist - and truly, in the midst of such deep beauty, we're all artist by virtue of our participation, that 'we're meant to be here, this particular instant, to be able to provide a certain poignancy to the view, knowing it won't be lasting, indeed changing even in the very moment that we hold it.  

a Waning Gibbous moon's spectacular appearance...

meant only for myself alone.

even as I wish to share it. 

~

Peace, Eric