The Inspiration of Ultrarunning

I think a big difference between my first attempt at the 100 mile distance last spring and my first 24 hour run this fall is inspiration. For quite some time I felt driven to train hard and accomplish the ultimate ultrarunning experience -100 miles - and yet somewhere within that distance my will failed me. I dropped at mile 63. Perhaps I had some justified reasons to do so - stomach issues that lasted for over a day, I felt injured and my pace was slowed to the point where a deepening chill was becoming worrisome. But the bottom line is I quit - I no longer had the will to push myself past the point of my discomfort. I'm not beating myself up over this fact - I'm gathering what I've learned and I'm happy for the experience.
Two weeks ago I ran my first 24 hour race - I completed 75 miles within the time frame and 77 miles total. There were points within this race where I became violently ill, throwing up regularly for over an hour. My hip flexors locked up painfully slowing me down considerably for a portion of the race. Lots of little things went wrong - including a lost toenail that became pretty painful. Yet at no point did I feel as if I was suffering, I was happy being out there and new without a doubt that I would finish. I ran the few miles in hard and faster than at any other time of the race. The question of will never appeared - it didn't matter to me if I ran a single mile or 100 or if I was walking or running. Pain was just part of the experience - maybe one I could have done without - yet there it was. So I kept going. I didn't force myself and I didn't need too.
The difference between these two races? The first race I was driven and relying on sheer will to get me through. Will power has limits - maybe those limits are different on different occasions for different people. I don't have those answers - I only know that at a certain point I was done. This last race had no defining moment of drive - I never felt the need to urge myself forward. I was inspired and inspiration kept drawing one more step happily from me. Even in the face of sickness and pain inspiration never left me - it called to me, whispered to me and at times even carried me. And that made all the difference.
For now my prerace thoughts and prayer will be one of surrender - will power may see me through my training - inspiration will guide my racing.

Peace,
Eric