Two Black Cats

Two black cats: 

having two recently adopted two black cats, rescues, 10 years and sisters that have been together all this time - I know nothing of their back story, why they were let go and brought into a shelter, how long they were there for, no information about them other than the shelter workers loved them and were worried that thy might be separated through different homes. I was told all this by my ex-wife, not for the sake of convincing me to bring them home, but she shared the shelter's concerns as well. 

so now I share my home with two black cats.

through out my life I've always had cats and dogs, never a long stretch without their presence, although with the loss of my two most recent dogs, beloved, and still missing them several years later, I've been unwilling to open myself again to caring for another animal in that way. The emotional price is steep from their loss and it's been a time of deep hurt for me, losing my parents, divorce, my animal companions - I am unprepared to care that deeply again. Or ever maybe, as it seemed enough for me to have my ex-wife visit with her dog, giving attention and care on a part-time basis, an emotional investment without any real attachment. Of course Misty, doesn't realize that, when she visits she's my dog, my walking companion, and offers me a dog's love without condition. In every real sense of love and care - she's my dog as well, that's just the way it works with her. 

my two black cats aren't crazy about her visits. 

she's a curious dog, playful and affections as he puppy she once was, six years old and only wants to play and get to know her two new friends. To Misty, everyone is a friend, even two black cats that clearly don't share the same idea of friendship. This is now their home, I'm their companion, the person they seek for attention and affection and anything outside of their usual spectrum is suspect and they will withdraw from their usual home life, hiding briefly until order is restored. Not traumatized, but slightly miffed by this intrusion. They have made this place their home. And all visitors are suspect in their interruptions. It's that simple. 

it's been good for me to have this care, both giving and receiving, not allowing myself to be so selective in my emotions. Both cats are fairly independent, but one in particular has decided that I'm her person, almost always wanting to be near, finding a spot within the same room to keep an eye on my activities, calmed by my meditation, curious of the sound of typing fingers, always ready to listen to my conversation, blinking at the comfort of my voice without concern for the actual words. Or maybe she does understand and is only humoring me with her listening. The other cat is a bit more skittish, quickly settling down with the right and proper attention, but easily startled as well. I walk softly by her, giving fair warning to my presence and intentions, no wish to be the cause for her disturbance and it seems she appreciates this care, blinking and offering a soft purr as her appreciation. 

 my life is a little different now, not much, but just enough to break the pattern of my own self-involvement, opening myself in little ways that shows me how guarded I've become through the last few years. I've realized that previously I would go all through the morning hours with hearing my own voice in conversation, the quiet of my meditation extended to the day, and would often find myself slightly startled by my first words, hearing a voice that sounded unfamiliar, almost foreign to my ears. It's nice to have two early morning companions to talk to, patient to my routine, but making themselves available to listen my ideas that I'll write about this morning, offering wisdom in the silence of their replies. As Eckhart  Tolle has declared "I have known several Zen masters - - all of them cats. I think I would agree, although I'm adding Misty in as well. Two black cat Zen Master's and a visiting Bodhisattva dog companion, and life is pretty good, expanding with just a little bit more affection and conversation, reminding me that life is meant to be open, expansive, allowing. 

I am grateful for this reminder...

and to those who have reminded me. 

~

Peace, Eric