The Practice of Mystery

Yoga is the practice of mystery: 

my yoga is the practice of mystery, every pose beginning with uncertainty of balance and poise, no idea of how any posture will unfold as I attempt to explore each one through  their relationship with breath and relaxed concentration. I bring a new body and mindset to every practice, fresh, a different possibility of how I will perform and release myself of every expectation. My body's karma is the cellular memory ingrained by years of holding these poses, a grace brought through years of practice - but what is quickly learned again with each asana is that mystery transcends even karmic law, that conditions of the present moment always bring a new challenge to every posture, a unique opportunity for it's expression, and that most certainly I have no idea of how my practice will unfold, if balance will be found and held through duration of a single breath, if my grace prevails to the edge of mystery and carries me to whatever possibilities exist beyond my present capabilities. 

yoga is the practice of this mystery. 

with this my practice is centered to the moment, allowed and freed to be expressed in any it happens, no demands or expectations involved. What I have is an intent to practice, that's all, an energy to expend my present capacity of letting go and simply being aware of how posture is a mystery of its own, combined within a flow, and how perfect this is as a reflection of my daily life. Yoga then is the practice of life, each event an opportunity to explore my place in mystery, knowingly aware, and unafraid to fail, indeed, that failure is really, only, a label to the present possibility that's now ready to unfold. 

yoga is the practice of mystery.

and what I find, a rediscovery through each pose, is that mystery requires no practice at all, not really, and that my entire life is yoga, a fine balance of poise and letting go, being the grace of my surrender to every moment of life's flow. There is no practice here, just yoga, life, and my response to its ongoing mystery...balancing on the edge of it's uncertainty. 

unafraid to fall. 

it's all yoga.

~

Peace, Eric 

Reality At Hand

Reality at hand: 

all we ever experience is the truth, reality at hand - and yet our minds most often interpret things as being false, not believing the initial sincerity of each moment, and then quickly translating events and objects to fit a preconceived notion of the world. Truth itself is beyond our explanations, too simple really for words, but it's always available as the actual experience of the present moment, expressed in Zen as the suchness of right now, raw, and unadorned as yet by our descriptions. 

reality at hand. 

of course truth is fluid, being capable of infinite expressions, and our minds are usually unable to comprehend its many guises. We insist on things being exactly as long believed, easily understood, and fitting our ideas of how everything should be. The idea of a fluid truth is frightening to our senses, we want a solid world, available and immediate to our fingers, exactly as perceived by eyes and ears. The truth is that reality is always an interpretation of what's currently happening, how the unseen is converted to a visible world, vibrations slowed to reach our senses and made easier for us to understand and navigate the world.  

but our first experience is always of the moment, reality at hand, suchness.

this is the truth, right now, whatever we experience before interpretation and even after its translation to a world we understand. We experience the truth of water as it quenches our thirst, meeting our lips in an easy flow of liquid, and the same water may be slowed in its vibration, still the same in essence and yet visibly different, ice, no longer easy in its flow. Or perhaps the water is heated, tea added as a flavor, converted as the taste of something other, and through this process some liquid seems lost as steam, vibrating higher still, but no matter its flavor or vibration - it's water just the same, one truth through its every expression. 

reality at hand. 

our world is perceived solid, and that's one expression for us to understand. It's also spacious by it's very nature, emptiness in pure vibration, and that's another aspect of truth beyond perception of our senses. We experience both, reality at hand, and immediately translate it all to a more familiar world. It's just how things are, this translation happening completely on its own, experienced without our comprehension - but still we somehow deeply know the mystery of our true expression. 

reality being always at hand. 

~

Peace, Eric    

It's All Geometry

It's all geometry: 

it's all geometry, nature, life, this ongoing process of putting structure to space, and being a sacred arrangement of form within its own inherent emptiness. Before going to far with this I should say that I know little of geometry, sacred or otherwise, any form of math beyond simple arithmetic seemed almost beyond my capacity to learn and what I did learn quickly left my mind as soon as school was over. So there won't be any deep math involved here, I'm just a poet after all, musing, simply offering my own view and portrayal of the world. 

what I see is nature in arrangement, patterns, and that it all relates to space, emptiness, deeply so and more than eyes alone may recognize. Although with this I could be wrong, as perhaps eyes are first in recognizing the sacred lines of nature, and it's later then the mind that translates everything seen into the material world. Really, I don't know the order, and I'm not sure it matters, the seeing that I'll talk of here is of first sight, innocent of beliefs, before logic enters into thought, before even thought is entertained, and everything is seen in pure geometric structure, emptiness appearing as the realm of form. 

it's all geometry.

what makes this sacred is that the world appears so perfectly designed, not by divine hand but by it's own self-creation, nature in it's own arrangement, that everything solid is in truth emptiness in a slow vibration as form, and what we're really most truly seeing is space lending itself to the patterns of the world. Every line seen within nature is less a border than it is a true continuation of emptiness in seamless its trade as the appearance of form, sacred geometry at play. 

it's amazing to consider, and even more so to realize, that we are part of this grand design, a pattern within infinite patterns of display. And that it's all one thing in various vibrations, qualities of design for every function, and a universe of endless space and structure. There are no true lines that signify a pattern's separation, form is dependent upon space to give it structure and the appearance of order. Yet it's all geometry, sacred, spaciousness allowing itself as form. 

that's as mathematical as my mind will allow, not really meant to follow any line of logic, and that's what leads me to a more open, sacred view of nature, seeing everything from my original perspective, first sight, innocent of all beliefs, and just before the mind sets the world to a specific order. It's the geometry of natural appearance, space and form without true lines, and yet somehow patterns  seamlessly emerge. 

that's what makes it sacred.

~

Peace, Eric 

Rare Occasions

Rare occasions: 

on a rare occasion without seeming inspiration and no forthcoming words, it always seems a matter of my own listening, perhaps the depth of my attention, that I am missing the true voice of silence and what it's now trying to tell me. There is always something to write of and it doesn't need to be of any great importance, nor imaginative in theme -  a quiet moment has a secret and unique message, a whisper of it's own significance, and my only true role is to listen and write whatever then is heard.

or abide in the peace that silence offers.

and it doesn't matter what happens next, being unconcerned by the length of silence, or if words will arrive and bring a certain meaning and beauty to their order. Silence is the same as words now, a meaning of equal clarity in their true message to an author. What I hear from silence isn't the absence of words but the potentiality of their presence, that here, my own quiet mind, is the sacred hush of every temple that waits to hear the holy word. 

on rare occasions, I rest within this quiet temple, content to simply listen, no rush to gather words and attempt to fill a page. I will write when silence readies me for writing, providing an inspiration that urges me to reach for keyboards and begin the ritual for receiving words. It's an easy process now, one of words and silence entwined together, no true pause between them, only brief moments spent listening to the very act of pure imagination, and being witness to words forming from their silent hold. 

on rare occasions I am gifted by the awareness of this process, how inspiration happens, and how silence prepares me to receive the sacred words. And indeed, every word is sacred, holy in their appearance, having arrived from the pure imagination of my listening. What seems as a lack of inspiration, writer's block if you will, is only a reminder for me to listen, to allow silence to prepare me for the sake of holy words. On rare occasions...

I am gifted by this silence 

and urged to simply listen.

~

Peace, Eric 

Beautiful Description

materialism fascinates me in an almost magical way, indeed, perhaps of the many views of mind and nature it's the most magical thinking of all, almost proof really, that something truly holy is going on here. By this I don't mean the notion of God in any organizing sense, but more of an inherent sense of some intelligent intent deep within the material of the world, that somehow matter is drawn to give life, and more so, giving rise to our awareness of it all. Materialism is a beautiful description of reality, an explanation of my existence just as fascinating as if something holy were involved. 

not being a philosopher nor a scientist, my consideration of this topic is purely of my own speculation, and is really no more of an exercise of creative morning writing. I have no stake in being right or wrong in any philosophical point of view, and although my own tendency of thought leans towards a more consciousness first and perhaps only school, I'm more truly unattached to any theory of the world. The summary of my only real philosophy is that I surely don't know anything for certain concerning the mystery of the world. 

but I write for my own enjoyment, whatever current subject holds my fascination, and this morning the play of matter seems to be on my mind, materialism, that the chemical reaction of an object leads to the creation of my reality, in how I perceive the world, the very thought that I'm aware of my existence. Some are disturbed by this view, holding consciousness itself as being first and crucial to reality. Many feel that materialism is an argument against the proof of God. Yet really, it's just another beautiful description, another means of explanation to the universe at large. That matter, itself being broken down to smaller and ever smaller particles of creation, consisting mainly of a vast expanse of emptiness, somehow gathers in a way to gain a sense of self- awareness. It's a miracle worthy of being holy, a coincidence of particles leading to the current stream of our reality. 

materialism is no less miraculous than if  it was a plan of God. 

not that I'm saying there's a God involved, reality in this way doesn't need the myth of a creator, it's divine in it's own way and means of self-creation. My own view is that everything is cause for curiosity and wonder, it's a grace filled world of mystery, beauty, spontaneous and random in its nature. I have no need to add a personal belief as to how it all unfolds. I simply don't know how any of this evolved, not even this very moment of my consideration. It all seems spontaneous in origin and appearance to me, and the consideration of materialism only adds to this sense of awe and wonder. 

it's just another beautiful description. 

even if it's so. 

or otherwise, too. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Engaged

Engaged:

that I am fully engaged with the world, concerned by outcomes that affect the welfare of others, caring for their well-being, and wishing to address issues of impact and importance that shape our lives together. My concern comes naturally, arising no different than insights and realizations that free me from beliefs of how the world should be. It's a paradox of sorts, and yet I am deeply comfortable with my position, engaged, caring for the sake of myself and others, and somehow too there's a sense that things are far beyond my own involvement and control, a play of activities cosmic in their proportions and that I'm simply an aspect of how it all currently unfolds. 

engaged, because that's how life is, and it couldn't possibly be any other way.

at least for right now.

of course things may one day seem quite different to me, that my best wishes for the sake of the world might somehow be altered in their vision. I have no idea how my life will unfold and this includes whatever arises in my field of interest. I am open to the mystery. But nothing ever removes me from engagement, being fully an aspect of the world, belonging to its current flow. I am part of it all, everything, and there's no real choice involved in this appearance. 

I am engaged because of this belonging. 

it's simply how things are.

and couldn't possibly be any other way.

at least in the appearance of this moment. 

and right now...

I find myself engaged.

~

Peace, Eric 

How Easy It Is

How it is easy:

how easy it is, effortless, life appearing without me giving cause, and that I'm aware of it too in such a natural way - that it's all simply part of my existence. For me, at least seen in this light, it's an awakened life, to just note that everything's happening in the only way it could right now, unfolding in a perfect sense beyond the care of my judgement or concerns. What's noted is that I belong fully to life's flow, an event appearing as a self, and that there is no need for transcendence past this very moment. Life itself is enlightened - and I'm as fully alive as I'll ever be...

right now.

and that's how easy it is, recognizing myself as life, already aware, and now awake to how miraculous it all is, everything. Enlightenment really takes care of itself, happening as the ease of sunlight dries the morning dew, how a blade of grass glistens with the weight of moisture and this touch of light, everything found perfect in such a beautiful way, and that even my notice is now somehow part of this perfection. I don't claim enlightenment, nor even an awakening in any special sense - only that I belong to the same sunlight touched upon a drop of dew, that I am equally of earth as every blade of grass, truly I'm a participant of it all, involved through every event that life holds. 

that's how easy it is,

really,

and always. 

it's life that's enlightened, my only claim is to be alive, and that it happened through no effort of my own and without need of my concern. At no point do I have to take control and guide life with a purpose or intent, everything is cared for in the same manner as an easy reach of morning light touched against a blade of grass - dew drops in slow travel to the ground, nothing interrupting the perfection of this moment, and that somehow even later as I write this, it's still a continuation of that perfection, just as easy now, the sunlight still reaching although the grass has long since dried. 

events are always changing...

yet life remains constant in its flow.

that's how easy it is.

~

Peace, Eric 

Problem

Problem: 

it doesn't seem like a hard problem at all, although I guess an explanation that alludes scientific and philosophical minds alike will be considered a quest worthy to pursue for sometime to come - but I wonder if it's worth the effort, if any explanation will be meaningful in anyway. The easy problem, as far as science is concerned, is the physical system and how it's capable of discerning information, being wired for a conscious experience to occur but never truly knowing why it is we have an experience at all. Why do we know the world the way we do?

the hard problem is always why.

and of course where - is the origin of consciousness purely physical, a chemical process that happens through a certain arrangement of matter that somehow comes to know itself as aware? That's the materialist view and as of now probably backed by the majority of scientist. Some philosophers and even many neuroscientist take a more nuanced view of consciousness and matter being linked to experience, that one can't occur without the presence of another. We have experiences because we're conscious and that consciousness itself is part of the every object we experience. 

mystics say that everything is consciousness.

mostly, I find myself a mystic, but I think more so in the traditional sense of the word, that it's all a great mystery to be explored and yet never really known. For me, as far as my philosophy is concerned, it really doesn't really seem a problem. Or even an issue. That I experience anything at all is truly a miracle and how it occurs is equally so in its miraculous expression. To think that particles consisting largely of empty space form an energetic structure, an object, that somehow, eventually knows itself as life - that's an amazing event worthy of the title holy. 

and so for me, it's not an issue to debate, not a problem at all and certainly not a hard one - I am conscious, alive, and miraculously I am away that this is so. I have no cause to consider how or even why this came to be and leave that to greater minds of philosophy and science to figure. Every answer that they offer is equally a miracle, life will always be a holy occurrence, never less than an astonishment of riches through each moment of awareness. 

it's not a problem at all.

being holy, 

no matter how it came to be.

~

Peace, Eric 

Great Reveal

Great reveal: 

it's not to say that self-inquiry leads us into a particular truth, or to use the term, ultimate reality, nor is the role of meditation meant to be any great reveal of who we truly are. It's all more subtle than that, more mysterious indeed, as really all we come to know is our own illusion of control, a fiction of a separate self-hood long believed to be separate from the rest of the world. Inquiry leads us to a more fluid truth of who we are, nothing declared as absolute, no answers seen with any certainty, and meditation is simply resting in the awareness of this mystery. 

after years of meditation and inquiry...

I can truly say that I know nothing as being absolute and certain.

and perhaps that's the great reveal after all.

that's the shift from seeker to explorer, subtle too in its implication, but there seems to be an energy of almost desperation to our initial seeking, a burning for answers and an ultimate truth. We're not satisfied with not knowing, demanding that our practices provide us access to secrets and unknown realities, keys to inner worlds we've long been denied. That's seeking. Intense. There's a place for it, a time, a beginning fuse for what's to come later. Or at least for some of us it seems. My own quest was never quite so demanding, not as intense, more curious by my very nature. 

my shift from seeker to explorer came pretty early on.

a great reveal that there was no ultimate answer.

and that reality was now open to explore. 

that's when inquiry and meditation most truly became interesting, letting go of demands for how my practice should unfold and accepting each moment as it came to be. I found that I was versions of truth, ultimate reality in the sense that right now is all that can experienced, and even that is inconceivable, ineffable, mysterious in its great reveal.

and that gives me cause for further exploration. 

to know myself as shifting views, temporary, aware, and all without need of declaring anything as being certain or absolute in anyway. That's the role of practice, for me at least, that it relaxes me from any demand to know or understand the world. It's a great reveal of just this moment, be it a breath or difficult yoga pose, a mantra disappearing into silence, a finger pointing to my headless wonder - there's so much to be explored without giving it a label as being either true or certain. 

it's all simply appearing. 

a great reveal of just this moment.

~

Peace, Eric 

Entire Meditation

The entire meditation: 

 mantra is the entire meditation, whole and complete in its easy occurrence, nothing is forced, no effort is given to thinking the mantra, and a natural pull towards a quiet mind follows its repetition. That's the simplicity of meditation, it's not an exercise in mindfulness, nor the use of concentration, we think the mantra and allow the silence to unfold completely on its own.

like magic.

or science really, 

and the two are not really exclusive from each other, with science simply being an explanation of the natural magic of the mind and world. Meditation is both magic and scientific in its description, it speaks the dual language of mind and soul, material and immaterial, the manifest world and the promise of the most subtlest vibration to potentially come to form. It's one language bridging soul and world and it's found naturally in the mantra, a vibration acting as a word, no more than a faint impression gently given to the mind to hold. The mantra is the entire meditation, or at least that's the description that I use for now, an easy explanation for the process that unfolds.

it's the entire meditation because the mantra is just a vibration, no meaning to the words, and in it's use we match its quiet tones, vibrating to ever more subtle levels of stillness just by its repetition. The mantra is silence itself given to the form of words, to think it is to naturally place ourselves within its silent hold, with nothing more to do but to surrender to its flow. That's how easy it is, think the mantra, unconcerned with any other thoughts that follow, think the mantra and let go of any expectations, think the mantra and allow whatever then follows to belong to the moment now at hand...simply think the mantra.

the mantra is silence,

stillness,

it's the entire meditation vibrating as a string of words.

we think the mantra, and magic happens, the science of words and vibrations, a natural prominence of our quiet mind is given noticed. It's easy, as anything forced isn't true meditation and goes against the pleasure of the mind. That's the gift of the mantra, just by thinking it we enter the realm of silence, nothing more needed to be done, simply a thought of meaningless words vibrating at a most subtle level, and whatever follows is how meditation happens - crowded thoughts parting on their own, the mind settling in its natural fashion without our effort given, silence gaining in its notice. 

it's really that easy.

mantra is the entire meditation. 

~

Peace, Eric 

An Inspired Life

An inspired life: 

an inspired life, that's the true gift, quietly so, as if simply being alive and aware of fragile possibilities, nothing promised, and yet here we are - gifted with existence. With this every moment is a grand expression of life, artistically lived in an easy and natural way, without pretense, and authentic even in apparent flaws.  

it's an inspired life by simple virtue of our existence, that by chance or perhaps some divine favor given, we've somehow gained our presence here, and more, being aware, conscious of our unique position, we are now able to live a life of joy and deep appreciation. 

an inspired life, indeed.

and that's the twist, truly it's all inspiration, not of an individual talent, but of life itself in constant giving, expressing itself through such grace and beauty that to find ourselves alive and aware is to be in awe of our very own presence here, knowing ourselves as part of this vast expression of life, an aspect of some continuous, infinite design of love and inspiration. That's the inspired life, being appreciative of theses fragile possibilities, each moment being so unique in the gift that it offers, never again able to appear in such a beautiful and inspired way. To see this, just this alone and nothing more, is to find ourselves caught by inspiration, an aspect of its bloom without cause other than the joy of simply being alive and kin to earth and air, a flower too of pure existence. We are life in its every pleasure, delighted by our presence here and expressed through the mystery of our own cause and wonder.

Yes, an inspired life, indeed.

~

Peace, Eric 

Original Being

Original being:

words are vibrations, of course everything is a vibration of some degree, with matter being slower to the point of appearing solid and words more subtle in their nature. In meditation, particularly in the form that I practice, we use a mantra particular in its resonance, aligned to the moment of birth and lunar cycle, a vibration of our moment that we came into the world. Repeating this mantra, easily and without concentration or effort, is a return to our natural state of being. Or perhaps it's better stated that there's the perception of a return - and what's seen more clearly with the mantra's use is that we've never really left this state at all, our vibrational quality only shifted to a more mundane relation to reality. Our mantra doesn't return us anywhere, it simply shifts us once more to the quiet point of who we really are. We vibrate as our original being. 

this is where I like to write from, whenever possible at least, immediately from meditation cushion to desk, and allowing any words to find me here. This could be liken to the law of attraction, not in the New Age concept of manifestation of my desires, but in the sense of a quiet mind being more open and allowing in its reception, attracting words of a similar vibrational nature. It seems to work for me, my writing is always a joy and words seem to easily appear exactly as I need them. 

it's writing from original being. 

vibrations, meditation, and the use of mantra - this shows us a creative universe, everything manifested by some design and from an infinite source of possibilities. It's the state of original being, and it's only by forgetting this that we remain trapped within a mundane view of the world. The truth is that it's all and always a miraculous world, full of grace and beauty, and what seems terribly destructive is only the nature of creation. In this sense we vibrate as Shiva, destroyer of worlds and from this point we also give cause for their creation. It's all from the level of the mind, an empty page serving as an extension our original being, emptiness being most subtle of all vibrations and words will surely flow to create another written world purely from our imagination. 

we write as Shiva...

our original being.

emptiness, vibrations, mantras...all giving cause to another written world. 

~

Peace, Eric 

In Essence

Prayer in essence:

in essence, and perhaps that's really the only way for me to write of prayer, dismissing form and any methods used and getting directly to the essence of this pure and holy communication. Prayer is simply life in a call and response to matters of importance, it's devotion shown to a greater aspect of ourselves, and an eventual reach of silence where our truest voice is heard. Prayer in essence - is a conversation of self and world taken to the point of intimacy so clear and deep that words are simply no longer ever needed. 

prayer...in essence,

is who we are.

yet it's not often seen this way, mostly shown as asking for a preference to be granted, for needs to met and answers given. But even petitionary prayers are more truly a form of self-communication, an inward search directed outward to the heavens. As our prayers deepen to a sense of quiet listening, the tenderness of our request and the need for answers breaks us completely open to the point of being without of any sure directions.

heaven no longer a place beyond us.

our every prayer in essence...

already answered.

so prayer, at least in my description here, is simply a means to reach that quiet point of true listening, our voice being carried to a deeper place within us, awakening heaven as an inner sense of being, and now content to live a life without the need of certainty and answers. Prayer, in essence than, is really and only mystery in communication with itself, silence being the comfort of its voice, and our every call is just to beckon its attention.

in essence,

prayer is the mystery of who we are...

in communication with ourselves. 

~

Peace, Eric 

On Its Own

On its own: 

surrendering is a theme I seem to revisit fairly often, drawn to it really, perhaps in a wish to offer some sort of lyrical explanation to a process that happens completely on its own and yet one I mostly take credit for, as if surrendering was a willful act that could somehow be controlled. The truth, as I see it at least, is that life itself is in a constant state of letting go, everything immediately surrendered even as it comes to my notice for the very first time. It's the impermanent nature of reality for my full display, as well as the Buddha's insight that my suffering is tied to the refusal of allowing myself luxury of this truth, caused by clinging to a static view of an ever shifting world. 

surrendering happens completely on its own.

all of nature demonstrates this fact continuously, perhaps none so more vividly than a caterpillar's transformation of its form to show itself as butterfly, a surrender of familiar  ground to a new life of wing and flight, letting go of all it ever knew before to obey an inner urge of change. There's no willful act here, only an intent innate to very essence of life, motion, surrendering in faith to however things will be. The insight is that the caterpillar is transformed by motion, at no point by decision of its own, by nature already in essence a creature born to flight. 

so what is my surrender?

and with this too, whatever my life will come to be, it will happen completely on its own - for even my every choice made is a response to life's motion, that I am fully part of this shifting world and hold myself to no illusions. Everything I hold to now will eventually be no more, already let go really, shifting even as I still wish to hold them dear. My life is continuously surrendered and it's this change that I respond to, my own transformation being constant, and with no cocoon offered between the ground and flight, there is only the present moment of a new becoming. 

my surrender happens completely on its own. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Every Inquiry

Every inquiry: 

 and as with every inquiry it's soon realized that we live in mystery and that no answer will ever really satisfies our sense of curiosity concerning to the world around us. Most especially this pertains to matters of reality and the inner world of mind and spirit, being seekers it seems by our very nature. This is where inquiry leaves us, directly in the midst of mystery, content, and even happy with the paradox of our conclusions. Our answers are held lightly, easily let go in another moment's exploration. We aren't really seeking the end to mystery, but simply noting our temporary position in its hold, ready for one more revelation shared and further prove that mystery itself is our only true home. 

every inquiry leads us here...

directly where we always are. 

this too is the path and art of meditation, not to find ourselves anywhere else but here, the present moment of mantra, breath, and inspiration. Meditation is really the end result of every inquiry, no longer in pursuit of mystery, we are now resting now in the awareness of its revelation, not really seekers anymore but explorers of surroundings. Inquiry and meditation are seamless in their flow together, one always leading to the other for the further cause of mystery being known as our existence. 

it seems mystery never reaches a conclusion.

and so our every inquiry is continuous in its function, offering a glimpse more of this never ending mystery and then the opportunity to sit within the deep relaxation of its present revelation. This is the process of spiritual living, not seeking certainty and absolute answers to questions of reality, but the acceptance of our paradoxical nature, no, not really acceptance, but the excitement of never truly knowing ourselves completely... 

that our every inquiry is actually the very process and motion of  displaying who we really are,being mystery in the show of grace and revelation. 

every inquiry shows us who we are.

~

Peace, Eric 

A Deep Rest

A deep rest: 

using a mantra is a continuous meditation of surrender, a soft release of everything but the the faint idea of certain words vibrating through the mind, and even this is an eventual letting go that happens completely on its own. When first meditating, or even years after it sometimes seems, there is a wish to hold fast to the mantra, clinging for the sake of keeping thoughts at bay. Yet this isn't an effort of concentration, nor a mindful method of noting when thoughts appear - it's the easy repetition of words without a given meaning, chosen for vibrational quality alone, and there's no concern for whatever thoughts appears, nor an attempt to establish a specific rhythm to the mantra's flow. 

it's a deep rest of our continuous surrender.

a practice,

and the mantra is its own perfection.

that's it really, exactly how to meditate, fully surrendering to the mantra and allowing ourselves to be carried by it's flow, unconcerned with any final destination. The mantra is just a thought vibration, a vehicle of self navigation, and each repetition is our immediate arrival to the present moment, peaceful even amidst the turmoil of a racing mind. We think the mantra and it's instantly let go, that's all we do, near effortless, and the result is simply and only the surrender of that one repetition, nothing more is expected. 

and so we return once more to the mantra.

a continuous meditation of surrender. 

this simple, easy practice is profound in it's realization - a release of needing to control our minds, allowing thoughts to exist and pass without the influence of our judgement. We just think the mantra, again that's all we do, and even this is done without force or concentration, a thought released and we are then carried by the ease of its vibration. It's the deep rest of a continuous surrender, effortless, one thought, immediately let go...

~

Peace, Eric  

Morning Reveals Itself

Morning reveals itself: 

morning reveals itself to me in its hours just before dawn, and every part of me respond to its hushed tones, my breath matched to its quiet motion, heartbeat even paced and slow in its rhythm, my thoughts are few, subtle, passing without the fanfare of my attention. I find myself meditating before I even reach my cushion, as if pulled to a more significant silence than my own. 

perhaps it's only myself revealed, with these early hours simply being the gift of my reflection, and I become more fully alive within the silence that they offer. What seems true is that it's a quite seamless revelation, listening to the morning silence and I only hear life in its first stir of another day arriving, feeling its pulse as my own, a single body in a slow stretch towards the coming light. 

morning reveals itself in unexpected ways.

it's in these hours that I'm most restful, more truly myself in the quiet hold of dawn than any other time throughout the day. Morning reveals itself as my original and true nature, this significant silence that allows the motion of the world to unfold through the moments of my listening, and with every sound being a portion of my soul in the form of early song. 

morning reveals itself as mantra.

and that it's all vibration, this being why my meditation starts from first moment of awakening, earlier still, that I am pulled awake by the vibrational qualities of these morning hours, asked to join myself in their silence before the proper start of day. My mantra vibrates as the dawn, light in a slow reveal through darkness, a seamless point of silence and sound meeting in the earliest morning birdsong. It's all revealed to me, no, more truly so, it's all revealed as my own awakening.

morning reveals itself to me...

my light being true dawn. 

and every hour is my awakening. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Magical

Magical: 

it's a point of ego to believe that I have control and a certain power over the aspects of my life that bring me please and the avoidance of many of life's sorrows. Seeing my life more clearly now and I know that it was this very belief that kept me trapped within a seemingly endless cycle of working hard towards building an ego that finally knew success and the failure and defeat of never measuring up to a made believe standard. It was the illusion of control asserted by the appearance of a  false sense of self, ego, magical thinking really, and it always doomed to fail. 

so I say ego, and by this I mean a total belief in an identity that was somehow separate from the very environment that was my true and only home. Ego is simply a label for this false sense of identity, neither good nor bad, but never truly in control of any situation. Ego, in this description at least, is an appearance of a self brought by endless thoughts of who I believed myself to be. It's the voice of parents, teachers, media, and even strangers who offered an opinion in their passing. They all gained a position in my held, wielded influence and control - and all the while I believed the voice was me. 

it was magical thinking.

and yet, 

there always remained a deeper voice of silence, intuitive, a magic found beyond the scope of thinking and beliefs. This was the voice of life, my only true and real self, and it was available to be heard in the moments of my surrender. Ego never really has any true power, believing so was the magical thinking that kept me trapped within its false narrative. Life was simply happening, flowing with every possibility of success and seeming failure and I was always an essential current of its flow, never separate, and never, ever in control. There is magical thinking...and there is magic. 

life is magic,

spontaneous,

beyond the sense of my control.

and this was my eventual surrender, not eliminating ego, but just letting go of the illusion of its control, no longer giving in to its every distraction and demand. My life is magical now, truly so, and not of belief, but by being entirely embraced by life's flow, and that I am a current within its endless stream of every possibility and appearance. 

magical. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Process of Awakening

Process of awakening: 

meditation is part of it, or so it has been for me, and yet it's not the sole means of any process of awakening. I don't believe there is a single method that leads to a direct revelation of a certain truth and understanding of ourselves. It's life that leads us to this point and really it's more if a surrender than it is a great reveal of who we really are. Meditation helped bring me to this point, being a continuous letting go of the activity of clinging to my thoughts. I naturally found myself relaxing to my own company, unconcerned by the flow of thoughts and simply resting in the awareness of their passing - and this eventually, easily, led me to a restful inner silence. 

it was a start.

and still a meaningful part of my life. 

inquiry too has aided the process of awakening, most specifically the Headless exercises of Douglas Harding, pointing towards my actual present experience of emptiness and at once finding that this too holds the completeness of the world. It was an instant awakening, really not a process at all, but a satori of availability, reality always found exactly where I pointed, immediately showing the truth of who I am without need or use of any words. 

indeed, it's beyond whatever could be told.

and perhaps it's my own sorrow that has provided the surest path to my surrender, a low level depression that's filled a large portion of my years, a past struggle with addiction, losing relationships and the love of others. My sorrow brought to me to the point of letting go, a surrender to the magic of the present moment that seemed completely unavailable until the instant I let go.

so it seems to me that life itself is the process of awakening and every practice, guru, and spiritual book is simply a means along the way, valuable for the moment of their need. Meditation and inquiry fuel my artistic inspiration, they are aspects of my life of great importance and I perform them without any expectations of the possibility of enlightenment. 

but they are a demonstration of reality.

an awaken moment of their own.

not needing to be anything more than this.

it's all a process of awakening. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Arrive

Arrive: 

it's always better to let words find me, allowing them to arrive on their own without my chase for theme or inspiration. My preference is to write early in the morning, just after meditation, and I feel relaxed and open to receive the world. It seems a magical time to me, from first moment of awakening the day appears ready made for me to be alive, noting the ease of breath and how everything I need for just this moment is present right now, and that life appears completely on its own without any demand for its arrival. 

somehow.

why should writing be any different? 

words arrive, they always do, and the only question is if I'm content in the silence of my waiting, willing to allow words to find me without my interference offered. I've learned to love this silence, no matter how long, a pause between words and inspiration that seems so filled with the potentiality of all that could ever be written. It's impossible to rush this, and would disturb the sacredness of the pause to even try. It's always better to let words find me. 

a poet learns how to sit in silence.

words will always arrive.

completely on their own.

in this sense, every word ever written is spontaneous in appearance, and that a writer's quick claim of ownership will simply mask the moment of their inspiration. It seems better to not take credit all for their arrival, that my contribution is of patience and the artful arrange of words given. This too is how life proceeds, inspired, spontaneous, sacred in pause as well as motion. I am not the author here, not of these words, nor of how life appears through every moment. 

it's all a gift.

everything. 

somehow now arriving. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Continuous In It's Forgiveness

Continuous in its forgiveness: 

 that we're always forgiving, happening at once, and with each moment found innocent of any past notion of injury or harm, immediate in the healing that it offers. It's just the way of life, having already accepted whatever circumstances appear and now moving in a new direction, continuous in its forgiveness. This too is how we proceed, even as the mind clings to past behavior, blame, and hurt caused by words and the actions of others, we move on, carried by life through its motion. 

continuous in its forgiveness.

and so with this we see that any act of forgiveness is really only a ritual of intent and design, one meant to cause our surrender to what the present moment holds, a reclaim of innocence, and a return to our original healing nature. We are rejoined to life's flow, continuous too now, and free of any claims the past attempts to hold us to. This isn't about forgetting, nor is it letting go of any lessons learned from our previous engagements, we're wiser in this moment, insightful, clear, and our surrender is to the wisdom accumulated by our motion, gaining experience even as our innocence is reclaimed. 

continuous in our own forgiveness too.

of course no ritual is ever really needed, it's just a tool of recognition, reminding us of our own forgiving nature, that are already and always immediately healed of past harm. Yes, scars exist, this isn't a denial of any previous hurt, nor is it a refusal to accept our current sorrows. But healing only and always takes place in the immediacy of right now, each moment is our innocence regained, fresh in its potentiality, free in its offering of new choices to be made. The truth is that we've already forgiven any issues of the past, we're continuous in our healing, always in motion...

innocent.

~

Peace, Eric 

Karman Line

Karman line: 

it's called the Karman line, an imagined boundary of air between our commonly viewed sky and where the infinite reach of space is noted to begin. Hungarian physicist Theodore Von  Karman determined this point as the edge of space, being about 62 miles above earth as the atmosphere thins, becoming less dense and a different quality in its measure. Of course it's a scientific distinction, terms given to the change of air. Yet the reality is simply space, with no real determined point of separation, only that infinite reach that includes our world within its sweep. 

there is no real point of separation.

we're the universe at large. 

if anything the Karman line is a welcoming point, where the atmosphere provides us a greater quality of air to breathe and life to thrive. It's amazing how this is all determined so precisely, as if measured for the ease of our existence, everything so perfectly, artfully arranged for our convenience. Space literally becomes more dense in greeting us, welcoming, changing its very nature for the sake of earth's comfort. This is the only proof of God that I need, and it's no different than any scientific point of view, it's just the operation of the universe, not a God of separation but one of our inclusion. 

that we're the universe at large.

God, as well. 

 and no Karman line is ever measured.

so there is no real point of separation between the atmosphere and space, neither ends for the beginning of the other, no border that determines the existence of the other. There's simple space, the universe changing in quality for the sake of earth to thrive and stars to shine. It's all one thing only, and we are fully involved in this order, aspects of the whole, with no Karman line between us. We're the universe, our bodies made from collapsed stars and we've somehow gained awareness of who and what we really are. Not the slightest bit of separation is ever really measured, only space, emptiness giving rise to form and allowing our existence to be known....

however briefly,

a Karman line of our distinction. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Shift

Shift: 

it's more of an energy shift, certainly not enlightenment, at least not in any traditional description, and not even an awakening of any life altering significance - but just a subtle shift towards an easy understanding of myself, or perhaps really, that I don't know myself at all, a mystery of both emptiness and appearance, a Heart Sutra of suspense as I seem to shift with every introspective view.

it's seeing myself as capacity as well as its fulfillment.

emptiness and form. 

life. 

and more subtle still is the absence of wishing for a great change of any present situation, being content to simply relax in this sense of mystery and allow life to unfold exactly as it will. I find myself more responsive, appropriate in actions taken, at ease to how life responds in turn. It's a shift of energy away from seeking better answers and being more interested in the quality of my questions, exploring possibilities as they continuously unfold. 

what I am now is an inquiry without wish for any answers.

a shift from seeker to explorer.

subtle, more and more,

until...

and that's the mystery - I simply don't know where life will take me, how this inquiry will evolve and what further possibilities will  come to be explored. It's all continuously changing, energetic patterns lasting only for a moment, shifting once more, and I am never the same through any point of notice. What I find now is that it's not a shift of any true becoming, it's not enlightenment, nor even an awakening of any kind, but that I am this shifting energy, always in motion, an inquiry of emptiness and appearance. 

a temporary pattern...

noticed.

~

Peace, Eric 

Through This

Through this: 

to show myself as capacity, open, and through this spaciousness my world appears - that's really the essence of my practice now, not to find anything that isn't already present, but to simply rest in this awareness, being more of a reminder that everything belongs completely as it is right now without need of change or even notice. 

it's seeing myself as this allowing space,

and through this my world appears. 

this is the end of all debate for me, there is nothing here to prove as being absolutely true, nor is there any false evidence to dismiss. There no point of using language to argue for or against what's found. It would only a description of what really isn't so. 

everything is...exactly as it is.

appearance,

appearing

and all through this...whatever it is... giving space for this to happen, capacity being just a word for the sake of my convenience. Really, it's far too dynamic for words, defying description, a verb often seeming as a noun, reality always in the motion of appearing through the very absence it allows. It's not a paradox, it's life, and only confusing through language. 

it's happening right now.

so my practice is to see this, noting first my own absence, capacity found, and through this my seamless reemergence, immediate in appearance, always happening right now. Really, it's not through this at all, capacity not being separate from its hold, again it's a failure of language, a description of a seamless action that's far too beautiful to accurately be told. 

yet I am always witness to it, 

a participant,

capacity.

and through this, as this...my world appears. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Just Listening

Just listening: 

meditation, writing, the two seem rather seamless to me now, and most especially the early morning session, before even a hint of first light, an easy rise from bed to mat where my mantra will lead me to a deeper silence than even sleep just held. It's through this continued silence that words will then appear, almost drifting in their arrival, my meditation now is at my desk, artfully arranging each word gifted to my quiet mind. These are no longer separate acts, meditation and my writing, really, it's all just listening, attentive to mantra, the soft appearance of words, and the silence found throughout.

it's just listening.

the art of mantra is to simply listen to however it plays through the mind, it's agenda is to lead towards a natural silent world, already existing and only waiting to be revealed. There is no effort given here, no sense of need for the mantra to be controlled in anyway. It's a thought, a faint impression that's more vibration than a string of separate words. 

writing too is just listening, although it seems I play a more active role - but the truth is that there is no search for words, no attempt to actually be a writer. Words appear, and before they do I sit with silence, more than content, it's a joyful listening of an inner world of pure potentiality, the primordial ground where words eventually arrive, and completely of their own accord. 

only then will there be writing. 

and that's my morning, a moment full of silence and whatever sounds it may holds, seamless. Meditation, writing, they're similar to the point of being one expression, unique in method, and yet the end result is much the same...

it's just listening....

and through this silence my world arises. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Nagarjuna's World

Nagarjuna's world: 

existing in Nagarjuna's world, which too implies my non-existence as a self with any lasting value, that ultimately it's emptiness serving for the grace of my appearance, and that neither emptiness nor form would be possible without the other, both being seamless in the nature of their trade. This is the relativity that describes it all, allowing no debate on the essence of what's true, seeing contrast alone as the reality of my existence. 

that I am - is only through emptiness. 

and that emptiness only has value through its capacity as form.

...seamless in Nagarjuna's world.

of course this is just a description, not being true at all, a philosophy, and equally so it's exactly how things are, that it's true, but only in the moment that it's told. Welcome to Nagarjuna's world, paradox being gracefully accepted, everything being relative by it's measure. Nothing is denied here, emptiness doesn't negate the reality of appearance, my claim as a momentary self will not disturb the capacity of my existence. 

that I am - is only possible through relation.

or so it seems.

but really, it's just a great mystery, my life isn't understood at all, I exist in Nagarjuna's world, a brief appearance, eternal, being both emptiness as well as the appearance of form. Life. And perhaps it's best to simply see myself as motion, an exchange of vast and finite expressions, existing, not existing, and that it's all equal in my view. In meditation this is where my mantra leaves me, everything being all at once, seamless, a trade of emptiness for meaning, capacity and its fulfillment of appearance.

Nagarjuna's world.

~

Peace, Eric 

* Nagarjuna was an Indian Mahayana Buddhist thinker who is widely considered one of the most important scholar, philosophers of Buddhist history and many of today's physicist are viewing his thoughts in the value of their present work.   

Noticed

Noticed: 

just quiet, with the few thoughts that appear being softer in their tone, lighter, and the entire moment being more spacious in it's hold. There is no real goal of meditation, no destination to be reached, it's not a pursuit of any particular state of mind - and yet I cherish the stillness when it's eventually noticed, not found, but more that it's revealed as always here, available, and the mantra gently led me through the currents of my mind to the reality of its presence. 

and it's always a surprise.

that's meditation for me, a gentle surprise of stillness and wonder, that my own mind is capacity for such infinite silence as to hold the potential for a lifetime of thoughts to appear. It's also what's eventually noticed, each thought momentarily existing in that present field of silence, and that it's the stillness that eventually remains, thoughts passing through but never truly lasting. 

meditation is my moment to notice everything that passes...

and all that remains.

somehow, that it's just noticed, acknowledged and released with curiosity and wonder, it has a profound effect on me - to know that I posses this quiet reserve within me, a backdrop of always present silence that allows my every thought to be, that I am more spacious than ever previously believed. For this to be noticed, even briefly, changes the very nature of my day. I am somehow more at ease with who I am, less concerned with passing thoughts and more rooted in silence noticed. This all happens without force nor any means of concentration, no effort really, it's not mindfulness, but a revelation brought by mantra, a vibrational thought that drops me directly in the present moment reality of my silent mind. What's noticed is that I'm always here, somehow existing through a thought-filled world and at once an ever present stillness. 

being witness to the miracle of simply being...

noticed.

~

Peace, Eric 

Intent And Inspiration

Intent and inspiration: 

generally, I don't know what I'm going to write about until I begin the process of writing, allowing the subject and theme of words to unfold with surprise and mystery, no longer feeling the need to dictate how things flow. Words always appear, somehow, and writing seems to happen without any true effort of my own. I don't make any great claim of inspiration here, it's much more subtle than that, as if it's as easy as the breath, natural, an intent of function that words best with little interference from my actions. My best writing, at least as much as I can truly claim, happens through intent and inspiration and neither of these are qualities invoked through mind nor effort - it's more of an invitation to join myself with their flow, a surrender to the writing process, and that I am essential to the task at hand. 

and just like that these words appear.

long ago, another writing life altogether, there would often be a struggle for words, a desire for greatness with every sentence, and not feeling settled until a project was complete and met with the highest satisfaction. Writing was something I had to do and would be brought about through force of will if need be. There was no surrender to this process. Of course this is the antithesis of both intent and inspiration, actually blocking their invitation to the joyfulness of writing. 

intent and inspiration are qualities of air, breathed without effort and released to their own actions - I am simply a function of their process, an appearance too, showing up to aid in their expression. I've learned to write on their demand and not my own, listening to their urge of words and silence, trusting the entire process and it's to this that I surrender. 

in reality intent and inspiration are of one nature, not separate qualities but aspects of creation, an essential universal function, always readily available to be known. The great realization is that we are part of this creation, essential too to the entire process. We are inspired in our appearance to the world, and blessed with the intent to simply be expressed in such unique and beautiful fashion. All of this without any true effort of our own. 

like words...

we simply happen.

~

Peace, Eric 

Consciousness Itself

Consciousness itself: 

there's only a few themes that I write of, really maybe only one, consciousness, and much like the subject itself, there's infinite means of its expression. I never tire of writing on this matter, always someway inspired to just sit and listen, allowing the subtle voice heard just before dawn to speak to me through silence and birdsong, wind and rainfall, whatever it is that needs to be told each morning. My writing is simply an extension of this, no matter what theme, or subject it seems to be - it's always, consciousness itself speaking through me. 

only this.

it could just as easily be called awareness, or life, even God for that matter, it all being the same to me, and there's no labels involved in the actual listening. When I hear a song note from the first call of a bird outside my window it's the seamless sound of morning, consciousness itself, and only differentiated by any thoughts that follow after. At first listen, there's just the morning speaking through the various means of its expression, and if I'm quiet enough, listening, I become involved in conversation, belonging as truly as a birdsong, seamless too in my expression. 

consciousness itself...

speaking,

listening,

writing. 

so this is what I write of, or perhaps it's better said that this is what's expressed here, consciousness itself being the entire act of listening, inspiration, and writing. It's a seamless act, everything, from silence to first note of morning birdsong, and my listening is intimately involved in its belonging. No matter what seems the subject, it's consciousness itself speaking through the appearance of a writer. I'm simply part of it all, subject matter too...

even as I'm writing. 

~

Peace, Eric 

It All Just Happens

It all just happens: 

that it all just happens, everything, life, and without our effort or involvement to make it so - yet at some point we insist on taking credit for how certain things unfold, sometimes blaming others for their involvement when our plans go array, and believing ourselves to somehow have control on the circumstances and direction of our lives. We love our own success stories, and what seems like failure is absolutely unacceptable for so many of us. We're raised to believe that life responds to our demands, and that we only have to try harder, work longer, and simply force life to meet our every need.  

but how much of this is ever really true?

neuroscience and mystics seem to agree on this matter, or at least on certain details, both stating that there is no central commander present to the mind, no actual self that controls our reaction to events and situations, that life happens and there comes a response and through this manner we navigate our lives. No one is ever really in charge, nor even close to being in control. 

it all just happens. 

this seems to scares some people, and for me it was a fear that eventually eased to relief, giving me cause to relax and explore my role within this process. My realization was that life wasn't happening to me, but that I was simply life...happening, a spontaneous appearance in this beautiful expression. I'm an event of infinite motion and response within a stream of ever larger events, endless, and it all just happens. No one is in charge for the simple and only reason that not one of us exists separately from the main event of life, we're all just momentary expressions of the whole, aspects, unique in voice and beauty.  

of course we think we're in control. 

a belief of self appears. 

that's just how it happens, it's the role we play through a portion of our lives, some for a longer time than others, perhaps a lifetime even, and it's never a matter of right or wrong. It's just how life happens, perfect in the sense that it really couldn't be any other way than it is right now, and that we continue on in motion, changing, an event happening now and always now. 

happening.

~

Peace, Eric