Sunday, November 3, 2019

From My Dearest Friend


what to do when there is no self found to harm, no one to condemn, nothing to confront in this alone understanding? Perhaps we could call this "non-dual" depression - or better still, simply allow it to arise without labels, without need to manipulate it to a different state of mind. There is no making light of this - some moments seem to overwhelm me, darkness applies itself through better parts of my days. Not always - but sometimes. I've found ways to cope, navigating this weight to bring on better days. I have also blamed myself when I couldn't bring around a lighter shade of mood. Here's the thing - I have no wisdom to apply in this situation, no truth to give myself to balm a deep set wound, there's no meditation or inquiry to relieve this. But there is the tenderness found within this very moment, a willingness to let things be, broken as is, without a quick fix offered. What I have found is that all this, wounds and all - belong to each moment of their appearance. They arise and stay at their own convenience, no say for my concern, or even well being. I can let them be, or acknowledge their appearance with the same care, the same love and understanding that I might offer to another. I can be my own dearest friend. Sometimes the best we can offer to another is just space to tend their deepest wounds. This is what I am - an offered space, allowing wounds to be. I know this space is given from my dearest friend. 

Peace,
Eric 

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