I’m amazed that old wounds still find news ways to haunt - it’s not a matter of forgiveness, letting go, or positive thoughts. What hurts - hurts. And often will for a very long time. Instead of changing focus, or inquiring into the nature of my wound(s) or even a deep dive into who it is that experiences this hurt - it’s enough to simply open to it, again, and even again as often as it’s thrown my way. There’s no escape. Today’s hit came by blindside, an instantaneous stab on sight. It wasn’t even specific to me, a witness to a confession where I was a casual aside to an event that once shattered my life. So here I am, embraced within a hurt that leaves me no option but to return its embrace and let it be without question. There will be time for that, introspection, inquiry, a note that it all occurred within an all allowing landscape of peace. Knowing this doesn’t remove the sting - but perhaps it helps keep the long view in sight. I wrote earlier today about participation - and I hear I am, participating in this aspect of life called heartbreak. I don’t like it. I don’t have too. In fact I don’t have to do anything at all - but simply know it all belongs. No one gets a pass from life. Any of it. It’s enough to be alive. Sometimes a participation trophy is its own, best reward.
Peace, truly, Eric
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