Not Described

Not described: 

best not described at all - yet I often find myself writing in near absolutes, stating what I am and believe myself to be. But really, I don't know anything. Nothing. I think of this as I ponder Pierre Teilhard de Chardin's famous quote of being spiritual beings having a human experience, and I find myself wondering if this esteemed thinker knew something beyond what a human could possibly know. I don't think so; and in no way is this meant to demerit his philosophy, beliefs, nor this well traveled quote. There is a sense here that Teilhard reached for an absolute in description of the ineffable ghost of being that passes for what we are. He witnessed a glimmer of reality and sought to harden it to truth with words. It's what we do, and exactly what I did right now. 

perhaps these things are best not described at all.

but I try anyway.

my goal isn't to reach for an absolute, it's not to write anything with certainty, nor give truth to mystery that seems to take delight in proving me wrong. I wish only to allude to the momentary wonder I often find as my experience. That at times there is a selfless stretch of what Teilhard might describe as beingness, and that I find there's no possibility of explanation due to the complete absence of myself as anything other the experience itself. Again my words fail, and sometimes a metaphor simply won't do. Yet I try and not for any wish to grasp this to a sense of permanence - but only that I find myself here, early morning and at my desk. I am drawn to write...something...and it's these words that appear. 

it's for the enjoyment of words; and even though I know I'll fail - I write of mystery and grace, of my own sense of self, as well as a selflessness that often feels more true. I write without any wish for words to be taken as truth, nor even real in their description. What they allude to is false as well, just another story added to my stories of the world. 

it seems that reality is more than can be told.

and less. 

but I try anyway. 

~

Peace, Eric