No Idea

No idea:

as for me, I have no idea what's final, if my end state is pure awareness, or perhaps nirvana reached by some degree of grace. It's the moment that matters, and from this point it doesn't feel eternal but intent on motion, change, life through varied guise. I find myself included through this motion, every bit as fragile  as all else that's ever appeared. My own stretch of moments will pass, and I have no idea if there's an after. - so right now is all that really matters. 

this moment too, I find myself aware, a deep quality that feels very much changeless in the press of motion. This is the true gift that has somehow been given, to be aware of myself as a participant of life, knowing the fullness of this expression. This too matters, it's the gift of each moment, and to wish for it to be eternal seems selfish in a sense. Not everything has to meet my demands, to be owned by my desire to continue. This moment, I'm aware, fully involved with life. It's enough for me. To speculate on anything further than this would never bring me closer to the moment now at hand. 

of course there could be degrees to this awareness, subtle states that have yet to be revealed - I hold myself open to all possibilities. Yet I refuse to imagine what those states may be, to pursue any point past the moment its been given. I have no wish to waste this precious time, to fantasize of an eternal now while this one moment slips away. Any revelation, any further awakening, will happen now, or not at all. I am content here, and what comes next will surely be a continuation of this gift. Whatever it may happen to be - or perhaps not be. It's not for me to say. I simply have no idea, and my curiosity extends only to the point of my awareness. 

and that always seems right now. 

~

Peace, Eric