Darkness and Light

Darkness and light:

there's just a few days of summer left, tomorrow the temperature drop to a stretch autumn weather, rainy and cool. Once there was a time when my mood would plummet with the warmth, growing even darker as sunlit days became shorter. This wasn't seasonal depression, it was low lying and ever present - but leading into the long stretch of winter would often make it worse. 

I choose the joy of God instead of pain. (ACIM, W-190)

the above isn't offered as a cure for depression, it's a means of navigating through darkness that wasn't available to me before. I try to be very careful with this, any discussion on mental health needs to be approached with infinite tenderness and care. I haven't and don't bypass depression. But I'm aware of my own shifting inner vocabulary. I see the first hint of darkness approaching and turn to God, not in despair and a request to hide me from the storm - 

it's much softer than that.

I turn to a friend.

so the dark days still find me, not quite as often as before it seems. And my plan is simple. I give each moment that I can't handle to God, a prayerful conversation through the Holy Spirit, and again I'm not asking for a cure - God doesn't recognize the dark thoughts I bring to Him. 

He offers only light.

and even though a storm might still be present....

I see it.

and it always leads me home.

~

I love you - all the way through the storm, Eric

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