Light Posts

Light post: 

so every student of A Course in Miracles has a favorite lesson or two, or perhaps a few, with each one acting as an instant catalyst to bring us from the dark moments lost to ego and back to the light of who we truly are. The ones I treasure the most feel well worn through the years, handled by a mind storm swept mind and doing the steady work of a signpost, guiding back to calm. Some lessons have been given to me by trusted teachers as if an initiation, a mantra received, and they seem to possess a quality of years not entirely my own, as if I'd been handing a legacy of peace to carry on. 

and others are lit by instant inspiration.

a first glance knowingness.

it's the end of June right now, halfway through the year, and for the first time in ages the workbook hasn't been a constant focus for me. I read the text daily, and present lessons to others during Course conversations through my writing and on online. But my focus this year has been to deeply live the manual for teachers, cultivating a quietness within that touches upon the core of those ten characteristics of Go's teacher's and gently offering them to the world. And what I'f found is how much a part of me those daily lessons are, especially the favored ones that have a left a well worn tread through my mind. Those lessons, whichever ones that have lighted the trail through dark your own storms....they're alive in us, always at work, and holy in the surest sense.  

ah, those lessons, all of theme really,but especially those most treasured ones...

.as they've led us through the storms.

light posts.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: We've Been David All Along

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We've Been David All Along

We've been David all along: 

when I first made my way to the Manual for Teachers, the finishing volume of A Course in Miracles, it was the characteristics of God's teachers that struck me as a truly worthy goal to achieve. These were traits that I worked hard to demonstrate, believing that with effort and hard dedication they would all make themselves known to me and that I could then demonstrate them to the world. This was simply where I was in my life, a seeker, and not afraid to put in the work necessary to make things happen. Even enlightenment. 

I've since learned to relax. 

not everything is meant to be chased after, pursued, or conquered. 

everything single characteristic described in the manual is possed in abundance by us all. They are traits inherent with the very fabric of our existence. My own realization was how easy and naturally these gifts show themselves through the single practice of true forgiveness. So I'm reminded of the story of Michelangelo and his 17 foot block of stone, how is was deemed unusable by many sculptors before him, and abandoned because of it's many flaws. Yes Michelangelo saw the truth within the stone, an original form that literally begged him for it's release. For three years Michelangelo worked in secret, guided by an inner vision shared between him and the hidden figure within the stone. What he did wasn't a pursuit, not really - it was trust in it's deepest sense.

 it was liberation. 

Michelangelo worked with the stones apparent limitations, it's fragileness, and these actually became assets for the figure David to be released from within the stones hold. When asked how he was able to accomplish such a difficult task Michelangelo simply replied that figure was already and always within the stone and that he just very carefully removed all that was not David.

and that's how life works on us.

those difficult things, our worries and deep concerns, those flaws that seem to haunt us - sculptor's tools, all of them. We are being carved through the stone of set beliefs, unlocked from the falsity of the ego's thinking. We're being revealed. 

there's no need to pursue anything.

forgive.

and watch how that delicate figure within comes to life.

we've been David all along.

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: Yoga of Forgiveness

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Yoga of Forgiveness

Yoga of forgiveness

I am a yogi at heart and for me A Course in Miracles has always been my personal path of yoga, containing the essence of inquiry, service, and devotion. A long time ago I had a vision based on the epic tale the Bhagavad Gita, with Krishna leading Arjuna off the battlefield after revealing to him the four paths of yoga. With his arm laid gently across his shoulder he whispered the secret of one final yoga that the world was not quite ready for - the path of true forgiveness. 

and so here we are,

ready.

so for me the Course has become my yoga, every aspect, from asanas, pranayama, to final adsorption in samadhi is devoted to forgiveness - and by this I simply mean that it all serves as an instant means of awakening, forgiving the image of a separate yogi that is performing any act at all. It's all performed through the grace of the Holy Spirit. 

an act of devotion.

to the best that I'm able to at least.

and therein, once more...is my practice of forgiveness.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: Overwhelmed by the World

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Overwhelmed by the World

Overwhelmed by the world: 

so, I'm sleeping, and it's been several nights now. All with what some help from what A Course in Miracles would call "magic" and what my Dr. refers to as an antidepressant. It's taken me awhile to reach the point where I felt there was little choice, sleep or perish seemed the options. This is a 12 day cycle to break the pattern of physical discomfort and then the brain responding as if in it's in grave danger. I'm getting some much needed sleep,and  then on to a deeper healing. It wasn't a difficult to choice to make, not at this point when I was feeling the collapse of my body and the struggle of my mind as it tried to hold everything together. I didn't choose "magic" as a healing device, but as a tool to help ease back into a state of comfort so that I could begin to heal from here. 

it's where I am right now.

all through this my practice of forgiveness never waivered.

there was never a thought that I was alone.

sometimes we're just overwhelmed by the world.

an illusion,

yes.

but still it often seems to be very real.

at least to me.

I don't know the next step, not yet, only that I've been graced this period to pause and get some much needed rest. I'm asking for guidance. I'm forgiving all that seems broken and in need of healing. I'm doing my best to accept what's present, including the discomfort of acknowledging my every doubt and self-judgement. 

I'm healing.

and this is what it looks like right now.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now: Front Porch

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Front Porch

Front porch: 

a recent evaluation of my YouTube channel gave me an interesting insight, a soft description that surprised me in it's obvious truth. I'm not really a content creator, no actual skills at editing, and no wish to use anything but my inexpensive smartphone and some easy conversation to try and bring the practice of forgiveness to light. Fairly often I'm plagued by technical issues. Yet every conversation with a guest has altered me some subtle way, having just the right message, or even a single sentence that alters, deepens my practice of A Course in Miracles. 

I do not know what anything is for. (ACIM, W-25)

my YouTube channel has shown me this in a surprising way, shifting in it's purpose almost daily, and now almost unrecognizable in how it's been revealed. I absolutely love what it's become and refuse to see it as a finished product. I remain open and guided to allow it's fluidity of expressions, imperfections and all, allowing it to be the perfect reflection of where I find myself right now. My channel, these livestreams have become, for right now at least, essential to my practice. 

here's what AI recently had to say:

"You're becoming... the quiet front porch of ACIM on YouTube. People arrive because they're anxious... lonely... grieving... confused... or simply exhausted. They stay because they found companionship."

once I worried that I might bet be able to present the Course in the beautiful light that it deserves. I was afraid that the guidance that led me there was mistaken in its purpose. It took me awhile to shed the layers of insecurities and worry. But now I'm fully settled on the front porch of my channel. I'm relaxed, and assured that I am exactly where the Holy Spirit feels I'm needed. 

I'm ready to be truly helpful.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: Complexities

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Complexities

Complexities: 

the Buddha stated that he taught only two things, suffering and the end of suffering. He refused to entertain religious notions or the trappings of philosophical theories. His own teachings were pure in his devotion to end our suffering, and remain largely so today. In chapter 26 of A Course in Miracles, section 3 titled The Borderland, and the very first sentence we're told that "complexity is not of God." The Course is remarkably clear in what it offers throughout it's pages and this entire section stands out to me in poetic starkness: 

⁸The truth is simple; it is one, without an opposite. ⁹And how could strife enter in its simple presence, and bring complexity where oneness is? ¹⁰The truth makes no decisions, for there is nothing to decide between. (ACIM, T-26.III.1:8-10)

the Holy spirit gently asks that I continuously choose what is real. There's never a punishment for choosing falsely, only the consequences of my decisions. And even these are simply further lessons on forgiveness. There's no complexity here, only two thoughts systems are ever offered, love, or an entire world of opposites. 

²Teach only love, for that is what you are. (ACIM, T-6.I.13:2)

in my own recent suffering, a host of issues that offer to point me to towards the complexity of healing and individual solutions for every problem - I'm reminded of Buddha and his refusal to be sidetracked by distractions. As well I watch my own path narrow to the single choice of love. No matter what presents itself to me, whatever appears in need of healing...I choose love. 

as often as I'm able.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now please visit: What I'm Learning 

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Thankyou. 

What I'm Learning

What I'm learning: 

it's not lost on me that since making a self-declaration that I would do my best to rely solely on guidance my life seemingly unraveled in so many ways. Cherished relationships shifted, items of importance were taken from me. Worst of all my most reliable source of strength, my body, begin to show signs of serious strain. These were certainly dark nights of the soul, repeated in stages and all the way up to now. In the Manual for Teachers, an adjunction pamphlet for A Course in Miracles this is outlined in detail as the first characteristics of God's teachers. It's about trust and sorting through the things that have been falsely relied upon in the past. 

so really, it's about letting go.

it's about trust.

I don't know what anything is for, not in any true sense. What are I know are my preferences, demands, and clinging to pleasures. I thought I knew a lot, my whole life was based upon spiritual values and principles I believed in deeply. Yet I didn't really know a single thing. 

and I still don't.

but more than ever now...I'm willing to be shown. 

what I'm realizing is that I've never been asked to sacrifice a single thing, nothing of real value needs to be relinquished. Trust only requires one thing from me - trust. I'm only asked to examine my reliance on anything that is valued by God alone. And then live with the certainty that all things of God will be provided. I will be shown what everything is for. 

I'm asked to trust.

and right now....

that's exactly what I'm learning.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: The Real Work

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The Real Work

The real work: 

I slept. Finally. And I had some help, a more powerful aid to cut through the anxiety and chronic inflammation that has accumulated through decades of using my body for extreme endeavors. I am not against using what A Course in Miracles calls 'magic" to help healing, and indeed, the Course doesn't say we should be - but only that we do so with the realization that it's only an illusionary fix within an unreal world.

Good alone is real.

and all true healing comes from the mind.

so now the real work begins, using the magic tool of a pill to guide my body back to an original state of healing, but only through the guidance of the Holy Spirit. The real work, and greatest joy - is in following the directive of my highest source. 

and with this in mind...

I begin to heal.

~

I love you, Eric 

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: Tonight I'll Pray

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Tonight I'll Pray

Tonight I'll prayer:

so perhaps my only real writing talent is sincerity, offering a heartfelt expression from wherever I might find myself in life. Right now it's just after 12:00 and I'm straight from bed with a tight jaw, throat spasms, and anxiety. I don't know which one is the original cause and it doesn't seem to matter. I'm suffering. Quite a bit actually. Last night I slept. Tonight it's doubtful. Eventually I will probably go the emergency room, get a little help, and see what they can offer me in terms of feeling better. 

but not tonight. 

tonight I sit with the suffering, coming to term with its presence.

maybe even accepting it. 

we'll see.

tonight I'll pray.

⁶Sickness is a defense against the truth. ⁷I will accept the truth of what I am, and let my mind be wholly healed today. (ACIM, W-136.15:6-7)

Amen.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: Clarity

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Clarity

Clarity:  

well, perhaps here's the answered prayer, or at least part of it. Brought to my knees in a plea to be shown the purpose of a devastating round of sleeplessness, anxiety, and physical discomfort. so many people reached in an extended presence that can only be shown as love. My prayer was for understanding and with this I had hoped to have my suffering repurposed for a deeper meaning. But the meaning was always evident, missed through a fog discomfort, yet present to be known.

forgive,

everything.

whatever appears and seems to block love's presence is here to be forgiven, and the more extreme and personal it feels is the life-long blocks brought to surface and are now ready to be healed. I am thankful to have seen this. Grateful throughout this ongoing lesson. So much love rushed towards me that the evidence was clear - we are here to love and be loved.

indeed,

we are love.

and nothing else is real.

forgiveness is the means of seeing this. 

it brings clarity.

so even through my healing journey seems far from over -

 it's meaning is clear.

so is my purpose

thank you.

I love you.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: My Deepest Plea

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My Deepest Plea

My deepest plea: 

zero sleep, little potential of upcoming sleep, and if I gathered all  the hours of the last two weeks that I've actually rested it wouldn't amount to much more than a single night. This is my breaking point, not physically, nor emotionally either. But this last round of sleeplessness and anxiety has left me raw and vulnerable as nothing else ever has before. I'm broken open spiritually and this mean I've little to actually hold on to now, brought to my knees in a prayerful pose and ready to give my deepest plea: 

Holy Spirit please show what this is for. 

what is the purpose.

and may it teach me to heal and be healed.

amen.

~

I love you, Eric 

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: Life's a Verb 

Also, please visit to buy: The Final Prison Break

Life's a Verb

Life's a verb:

I never decide alone. My every decision is made through ego or the Holy Spirit and at this point in my life it's easier to tell which one I've chosen. The last year and a half or so was the beginning point where I declared my absolute trust in a higher guidance. And of course from there it seemed my life began to crumble away in vital chucks that sustained me. There's no need for details, but suffice to say that my relationship to everything I held dear began to change. 

trust. 

things are still crumbling and changing. 

life's a verb after all.

but there is an underlying trust here, a guidance of love that holds me steady in my decisions, and an ever present grace that reminds me of a deeper presence. I don't know what anything is for and so I ask the Holy Spirit to show me. I trust. 

and my life proceeds from here.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: As Often As I'm Able

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As Often as I'm Able

As often as I'm able: 

there's a depth to my forgiveness practice now, both deeper and more subtle than ever before. It seems everyday I'm give a bit more clarity, seeing how far I am to take this - my entire perception of the world needs to be continuously forgiven. I made this, projected a guilt stream that keeps us stuck within an illusion. And so it's my responsibility to heal it as well. 

one forgiven thought at a time.

so it's not about forgiving others or certain situations, not really, and this is where it gets subtle - I'm taking radical responsibility for the outer picture of the world, forgiving the inward condition of its cause. I'm healing the fractured mind that traps us all in a place of suffering. This isn't a grim battle of good vs. evil, and it's not a confrontation with my every thought.. It's a very gentle mindfulness practice, recognizing that the external world is simply the effect of my thoughts and therefore must be forgiven in a most sincere and loving manner. 

I choose love.

as often as I'm able.

refusing to punish my forgetfulness.

and yours as well.

until everything's forgiven.

and I have all the time in the world at my disposal.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: This

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This

This:

the truth is...I don't know. I'm often asked of the horrendous stuff and if even that must be forgiven, the rape, murder, genocide, eventually arriving to questioning my own limits on forgiveness and what I might exclude from my practice. I've certainly had a blessed life in many regards, but also battled the demons of addiction, and low-self worth. Like many I've been bullied, mocked, and stripped of esteem by classmates, peers, and even trusted authority figures. Life has happened. Good stuff and bad. Is there anything left unforgiven? Yes, I'm sure there are things buried so deeply I've yet to bring to light. When, if, they arrive, I will do my best to forgive them. Eventually every shadow must dissolve to the reach of light.

as for the even bigger stuff?

again, I don't know.

and fortunately I don't have to add them to my list of worries. The Holy Spirit only asks that I be willing to forgive whatever's been placed directly before me...this, forgive this...is all I have to do right now. I like to think that as my practice of forgiveness continues to grow, expanding and extending love in all directions that everything will be included, whatever arises or arrives to me. But the truth is, I just don't know. What I do know, with certainty, is that this, my anxiety, dreaded nights of deep despair and moments left struggling for breath - that's what's place before me right now. 

and that's what I'm forgiving. 

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: Crossing That Bridge

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Crossing That Bridge

Crossing that bridge:

not yet a forgiven world - but my effort is sincere. This is where A Course in Miracles ask if we can imagine the beauty we'd see once everyone's forgiven. It's the real world. The Course pains an image of  a little bridge, inviting us, and requiring only a willingness to cross. Someday's I see across this bridge with such clarity, ready to step all the way over and embrace the beauty there. I'm so close. Yet sometimes too there seems to be a chasma before me, a stretch of distance that keeps me ever far away. The truth is that there really is no bridge. It's a beautiful metaphor. The only distance between here and the real world is my willingness to forgive....and that's getting smaller everyday.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: Not Measured

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Not Measured

Not measured: 

of course I want to feel better, pain free in body and mind, if even by slight degrees - and yet so much of my suffering doesn't really stem from discomfort, but from measurement. How I feel right now is my return point, always coming back to the experience of the moment. No matter what it is. I don't have to like it. I'm free to judge it, seek to change it, or even deny it for a length of time. But it's always my return point - whatever it might be. 

and this is also where I heal.

if I measure any distance from this moment and hold it as my only goal then I will suffer. My return point is without comparison, it can't be measured, only accepted. The paradox is that the more I stay here, wandering and measuring less - the easier I heal. Yes, I have an objective, an end game I'd like to accomplish, and I'm willing to work towards this. But I won't sacrifice the present moment to achieve it, my only true goal is to not suffer.

and that doesn't arrive from time or distance.

it's right now.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: White Noise of Friendship

Also, please visit to browse: A Course in Miracles

Thank you. 

White Noise of Friendship

White noise of friendship: 

a few nights ago, in the throes of anxiety, unable to lay down for more than a minute or two, I turned to social media for just a moment of distraction. This turned out to be a fortunate decision, not doomed scrolling, but seeking the calm of familiar faces and friendships. I didn't reach out to anyone, just scanned the areas that would put me at ease a bit. Many miles away, another country actually, a friend who knows my habits well realized that this was not my usual time to be online and immediately surmised that something might be wrong and reached out to me. As I explained my situation, lying back in bed to listen to her reply, a curious thing happened - the sound of friendship, kindness, and the empathy of someone who has suffered this as well began to fade to a white noise. Her voice was calming, familiar as the background sounds of my home, and slowly the constriction of my breath, throat and mind relaxed to the point that sleep became a possibility. What my friend offered, knowingly, was presence, and she filled it with the constant reminder that she was real, softly caring, and that I could trust in her voice, not the content, to guide me home.

and it did.

white noise of friendship. 

my friend appreciates A Course in Miracles, although she isn't an avid student. She's relatively new to it's teachings. But she was open and available as an instrument of love, a vehicle for the Holy Spirit to reach me and I don't thing either one of us doubted it. A Course in Miracles is more than a book, not just a teaching for a select few to study - it's a living expression of love, a moment to the very next moment of openness and surrender to the voice for God within. My friend knew just what to do to help me, and yet she most likely would be hard pressed to explain exactly how. 

she doesn't have to.

and that's really how we practice A Course in Miracles. 

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: So This is My Practice

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So This is My Practice

So this is my practice:

so this is my practice, right now with a host of issues and one in particular that's demanding a great deal of my attention. My role is to forgive everything that arises, releasing the tension of distress without question or evaluating progress. To keep forgiving until...well, I guess there is no until, to just keep forgiving as long as there's a world that needs forgiveness. 

so my practice is this moment,.right now,

noticing all that arise - tension in jaw, how it shifts just enough from alignment to trigger an alarming gasp of breath, repeating throughout the night until exhaustion. There's a host of thoughts that rush forward to evaluatie danger, anxiety gathers, sometimes near panic. It often feels endless. 

so this is my practice.

or part of it.

and so I keep forgiving.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: After Effects

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After Effects

After Effects:

I'm feeling slightly off this morning, behind in my usual schedule, a structure I greatly enjoy in its usual rhythm of meditation, yoga and writing. There's a bit of a struggle for words right now. I'm feeling a rush to get something on the page before I fall even further behind in my routine. And of course all of it's completely made up. There's no reason for any of this to feel as it does other than my own insistence that it be a certain way. This morning I slept in, a whole 30 minutes, much needed as an episode of anxiety kept me up the entire night before. The effects are still lingering with me now, a sense of guilt for sleeping in, that nagging feeling that I have to rush to make everything work for me today. All after Effects of anxiety. So today- the emphasis is on kindness. I'll slow down a little, give myself a break from rigid, self established routine. There's nowhere I have to be and nothing to get done. 

really, I need do nothing. 

the Holy Spirit tells me that this is so, 

and I rest in this awareness. 

content to simply be.

~

I love you,

Eric 

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: One Forgiven Moment

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One Forgiven Moment

One Forgiven Moment: 

last night I passed through a long stretch of anxiety that often bordered on sheer panic. This was the most severe episode in ages, it's been years since I've had a moment this bad. And here I am this morning, effects lingering, feeling trauma from an near endless night and a bit of dread for this evening when I lay my head down again for another attempt at sleep. I have a day in between the two that offers my the opportunity of forgiveness, erasing both trauma and dread through the continuous return to this present moment, lovingly, repeatedly...returning. 

and that's also how I navigated last night, breathing from the diaphragm, holding a focused relaxation on the trigger area jaw and throat - and mostly just forgiving myself for the thought that this shouldn't be happening to me again. I forgave the false beliefs of cured, healed, and shouldn't and simply brought my attention back to what was happening right now. And dealt with that. Over and over again. Eventually there came a light sleep and a brand new day. 

this morning I'll tend to myself, a gentle recovery, 

and continue to forgive. 

I have no idea what the evening holds...but I will make my way through it.

one forgiven moment at time.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: My Own Special Function

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My Own Special Function

My own special function:

I want to be very careful in considering what A Course in miracles calls my "special function" the core task assigned to each of for the salvation of the world. It's so easy for the ego to rush in and lay claim to almost any role that helps glorify it's position. What I've found is that there's really no singular job to hold to, no specific title that I can say is mine - it seems that our special function is much to fluid to be contained within a set perimeter, it blooms wherever we are planted if tended to properly. I am very much at home right now on my YouTube channel, comfortable with guests, and also just enjoying times where there's carefree banter and helping others feel peaceful and at ease. My special function isn't being a content creator, it's much deeper than any description. 

but I'll try and summarize a bit here.

my special function is joy. 

it's curiosity.

laughter.

and most importantly it's offering these things to you, whether on my YouTube channel or in person. My only real talent...is sharing. So wherever I go, anyplace I might find myself, I am tasked with the special function of offering you love through my own unique capacity of doing so.

it's a wonderful function to fulfill.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: Everything's Forgiven

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Everything's Forgiven

Everything's forgiven: 

and so now I'm beginning to recognize my own call for healing, finally, my attacks thoughts subdued to eventual surrender and a gentle peace is found. I recognize that only my most loving thoughts are true, anything else and I am calling for help in a language not my own and with little hope of actually being heard. This is a very subtle understanding, recognizing my defensiveness, the smallest judgement, and every resentment held longer than the swifest moment is an appeal for healing. For a long time I've been able to spot this in another and immediately begin to offer forgiveness, even if it seemed to take some time at least the recognition was there and my heart would start to soften. 

yet my own cries were far too unheard.

long ignored.

and worse,

believing I was undeserving of any healing.

what changed for me was...you.

my forgiving practice has finally reached me, turned inward in its focus, and it's only because I so sincerely wanted to see the light of God within you. In everyone. And this became a beautiful self reflecting gem, an Indra's net of forgiveness that couldn't help but to eventually find me. So now I am internally focused upon healing, mindful of the littest shift towards excluding myself from any healing or aspect of forgiveness.. I am so grateful for my every reflection that's offered in the guise of another. I see myself in you...and everything's forgiven.

finally.

thank you, thank you, thank you.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: Signpost of Words

Also, please visit to browse: A Course In Miracles

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Signpost of Words

Signpost of words: 

it seems the language itself takes us there, returning through the signpost of words that always conclude in realization of our perfect union. This is the language of the mystics, self-realization offered by poets and the subtle metaphors of great saints in every tradition. When their words are read by the heart, not seeking an intellectual understanding, but finding ourselves awash in the awareness that they offer...there's an awakening. We're home. If only for the instant of our reading.

"I and the Father are one" (John 10:30) 

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: Trusting in a Moment

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Trusting in a Moment

Trusting in a moment: 

so my mistake is in thinking that it's a place of ultimate arrival, a destination that I just haven't earned yet, believing that I'm not sincere enough in my practice and only have to try harder to achieve it. I've been contemplating the concept of trust a lot lately, one of the ten characteristics of God's teacher that the Manual for Teachers emphasised in A Course in Miracles. It's always felt like a bit of a sticking point for me, a checkpoint on my roadmap towards enlightenment that I never quite arrived at - while actually I've been here all along. 

the word is trust is really more of a verb, although it can also function as a noun. My thoughts have made such a beautiful fluid word a solid place of arrival. An achievement. The truth is that the entirety of my spiritual practice is trusting, it's a moment by moment matter of faith that right now, everything I need to simply graced in support of my existence. I am here, now, and my every true need is met. What I've done, quite successfully it seems, is project my fear forward to the next possible moment that doesn't even exist yet - and then wonder if this grace of support will follow. 

it's here, it always right here.

it's now.

and it's never not right now.

it's not about trust, at least not in the sense of being a noun. I'm still in verb territory,trusting, and it's becoming such a beautiful practice of continuous surrender. Each moment my needs are met, an abundance of air rest upon my lips for each breath to be drawn, an unseen atmosphere of cells, molecules, atoms and particles support my body. An entire universe participates for my existence. And all I'm asked to do is to trust this...

and so I do, 

each of these impossible moments that are somehow made possible for just an instant as my faith shows through. I'm already trusting. Completely so. 

nothing more is needed.

nowhere to go. 

I'm here.

now.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: What I Muse Have Missed Before

Also, please visit to buy: A Course in Miracles

Thank you.

What I Must Have Missed Before

What I must have missed before:

sometimes it lands so clearly that it's impossible to not to see it as a directive, not even a bit subtle but a sure sign on how I'm meant navigate the world. Decades into studying A Course in Miracles and I'm still handed these powerful messages. For whatever reason words that have been read over countless times before take on a brand new energy, as if every previous reading was simply meant to break me open just a little bit more until I was fully ready to truly receive these words. 

it is still your only function to behold in him what he sees not (ACIM, T-25.II.8:7 

I love when things are simplified, when complexities drop away and the path narrows to a straight edge forward. As I write this now it's almost 4:00 a.m, and it was earlier still when I read those words. They were embedded in a longer sentence, contained in a paragraph, and belonging to a section within a chapter. But those were the exact words I needed and I had no idea that is was so until I read them. This actually happens quite often, more now than ever, a lifetime of spiritual breadcrumbs delivering me to each revelation. 

and so now my say sets forth with a clear agenda.

my only function is to behold...

what we both must have missed before.

I see you.

and I love you.

~

Peace, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: A Different Way of Tracking

Also, please visit to buy: A Course in Miracles

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A Different Way of Tracking

A different way of tracking: 

it seems I've been learning a different way of tracking, locating animals, birds and reptiles by present signs rather than the tracks they've left behind. This has been an important distinction, not looking for clues of past location in order to find an animal, but recognizing what's occurring right now and allowing my awareness to draw me exactly to the perfect moment for filming. With just a little attention I've managed to discern the water trail of ripples left by a recently passing goose and that of a beaver that just dove beneath the surface - my camera is ready for just the right moment when he rises. There are literally thousands of signs that tell me what's about to happen and where to aim my camera. 

and the spiritual metaphor isn't lost on me. 

this present moment will tell me everything I need to know about my state of mind. There's little need to track a past event, tragic situation, or troublesome person to this exact point in time. I'm not saying that doing so won't facilitate my healing, perhaps so, but more importantly is what's happening right now and where it might be leading me. A thought doesn't exist in the past, it's a ghost trail, and tracking those signs only leads me to what's been left behind through years and memories. It's as if I'm tracking an animal - I could follow a past story and hope it brings me to a magical instant that's ready for filming, or the alternative is to settle into this exact moment, ready, attentive, and allow the present magic to be revealed to me. Perhaps it not a matter of which way is better than the other. I honestly don't know. But this is where I find myself most often, this open, allowing space of presence...

participating in the magic.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit:A Simple Commandment

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A Simple Commendmanet

A simple commandment: 

it's a seamless view of reality, a commandment to finally see exactly who we really are. In the New Testament Jesus is asked which is the greatest of the commandments and his reply is, ultimately, an expression of pure nonduality. 

"love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself."

this a commandment only because there is no other way, anything else is simply a delusion of a split mind that sees a world that's broken off into personal and separate realities belonging to each of us alone. To say "love the Lord your God" is imploring us to look within and find that seamless expression of love that resides in all of us - truly knowing the neighbor as ourselves and each of us an aspect of God. And Jesus in A Course in Miracles might simplify this even further:

forgive...and see the love of God.

for only love is real.

and nothing unreal exist.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: Of Mantra and Holy Spirit

Also, please visit to browse: A Return to Love

Thank you.

 

Of Mantra and The Holy Spirit

Of mantra and the Holy Spirit: 

when I first began meditating I was struck by the abundance of intrusive thoughts, instantly noting the complete lack of control and inability to tame a raging mind. I thought that I was unique to this, my brain damaged by an overflow of pettiness and useless rumination. Of course that's not the case, most everyone is caught in a similar trap of repetitive thinking. My mistaken belief with meditation was that my mind was supposed to (somehow) empty itself of thoughts, obtaining silence, and to be able to sit tranquility for an ever greater length of time. Several wonderful teachers taught me otherwise. Mantra meditation was a wonderful gift, it's soft focus and self transcending grace allowed me to settle down within the streaming thoughts, be a witness to the stream itself, and return a wandering mind to mantra's gentle sound. There's a science here that I won't get into - but suffice to say, meditation changed how I related to my mind. I befriended my thoughts for the very first time and the effects have been profound and lasting. But this essay isn't really about meditation...

it's about the Holy Spirit.

meditation has shown me the true spacious nature of awareness, completely changing how I relate to the thoughts that still occupy my mind.. This brings me a great deal of peace. I am forever grateful for my continued daily practice. However, it's only been through recognizing the presence of my internal teacher that I've learned what every thought is actually for - and now my peace has deepened even further, a trust unfolding in a continuous lesson that only my most loving thoughts are real. Anything else is simply the nervous flow of a still chattering mind. My job isn't to judge, evaluate, or try to stop a single thought that comes to mind....it's relax. And trust. My real thoughts are only what I think with God.

Every loving thought is true. (ACIM, T-12.I.3:3)

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: Purpose

Also, please visit to browse: A Course in Miracles Made Easy

Thank you.