But First, Pause

But first, pause: 

I'm willing to pause, to truly step back and let the Holy Spirit lead the way. What I want to examine now is even my slightest insistence that I know a better way. My wish is to be shown, gently led to wherever it is I next need to be. Yet what I find is that even surrender carries the risk of becoming an endeavor, that at times I point myself towards my preferred path and then ask  the Holy Spirit to lead me further in the direction I already wish to go. 

and so I'm willing to pause,

to take just a moment and ask the Holy Spirit if this is indeed the path that I should follow. It's that instant given to stillness that makes all the difference now. My willingness is met with a soft assurance, not always a direct answer, but a presence that promises me continued guidance. This is coming to be enough, my demands have lessened, and I no longer need to know everything immediately. 

but it all begins with a pause, 

just a quiet moment before I commit to action, 

 then asking the Holy Spirit,

³What would You have me do?
⁴Where would You have me go?
⁵What would You have me say, and to whom? (ACIM, W-71.9:3-5)

and guidance always follow.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: A Ceaseless Prayer

Also, please visit: It's All Mind

Thank you. 

A Ceaseless Prayer

A ceaseless prayer: 

and now pray without ceasing, that's the directive given, how I'm supposed to move through life. This is supposed to be a nonverbal communication, full-way openhearted. My prayer is for guidance, continuously so, asking only to be truly helpful. I pray for an easier release through forgiveness, to be mindful of any judgement made towards myself and others, immediately recognizing that I have decidedly wrongly and then choosing again to be at peace. 

mostly though,

I'm to pray with gratitude, thankful that I rest in God. 

and that's how I'm asked to move through life.

a ceaseless prayer.

~

I love you, Eric 

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: My Teacher

Also, please visit: It's All Mind

Thank you. 

My Teacher

My teacher:

my mother was a teacher, by all accounts an exceptional one, long remembered after her first grade students grew up. We had a a contentious relationship for much of my life. It seemed, to me, that the sweetness she held for her students was absent towards me. I carried the weight of what I felt was her disappointment for a long time. 

not long after her retirement, my mother began a long decent into the fog of Alzheimer's, robbing both my parents of heir dreamed of retirement. I became one of her primary caregivers, a trusted and steady guardian for her to depend on. She became my teacher. My mother taught me the language of infinite kindness, re-establishing my inner vocabulary to one of continuous patience. I became truly mindful of how I wished to speak to her, looking past the Alzheimer's to the person that I had missed seeing through all the years of my own insecurities, resentment, and judgement towards her.

I discovered, and experienced...the love that had always been present.

one day I walked past her room and heard her speaking as if she were addressing a roomful of people, children actually, students. Knowing she was alone, curious, I peeked in and say my mother teaching a classroom of children only she could see. She was engaged and loving, calling each child by name and offering them a gentle correction or praise. I didn't interrupt, no need to, these were the real children of her mind and I was privileged to share their lesson. This was the moment  I truly saw my mother, my heart burst open with vision and the children, for just an instant were as real for me as they were to her. It was then that she looked up and saw me, giving me a look of such deep love - and what broke me open even further, a smile of pride towards me. 

my mother became my teacher, an exceptional to the end.

actually, she's still teaching me.

I look for the unseen things of the word now, maybe not a classroom of students to see, but an undercurrent of love that only needs my recognition. My mother taught me the grace of letting go and the steadiness of the presence that remains. She continuously reminds me to trust the unseen, that eventually my eyes will open and I will truly see the classroom of the  world and its need for one more loving teacher. My mother has prepared me for that role. 

she taught me vision,

and infinitely more.

I love you mom.

~

I love you, Eric 

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: The World I Made

Also, please visit to buy: a Path to Peace

Thank you.

The World I Made

The world I made: 

with the privilege of many years of practice now, those early lessons of A Course in Miracles continue to astound me with the simplicity of their profound message. This morning lesson 23 came to my attention with a subtle weight of authority:

I can escape from the world I see by giving up attack thoughts. (ACIM, W-23)

even after decades of practice my attack thoughts are still to creating a world that hurts me. This is the value of reviewing the lessons, returning as a cleansing ritual, sweeping the mind clean of its accumulated debris. Attack thoughts are subtle, multiplying quickly as the littlest of grievances until they gather as a fully ranging storm within the mind. Lesson 23 reminds me to be careful, mindful, and never wait to offer myself forgiveness. 

and with this, 

I can again escape the world I made.

one forgiven thought at a time.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: Commitment

Also, please visit:A Path To Peace

Thank you.

Commitment

Commitment: 

I guess the real commitment, for me right now, is to the Holy Spirit. My day begins with a small prayer to abandon my own best thought plans and allow the Holy Spirit to guide me through the day. I'm seldom successful for very long before ego takes charge and leads me astray. Yet my sincerity has grown deeper through the years, my commitment seldom wavers, and tolerance for mind wandering lessens everyday. I love the infinite patience that I'm shown, the compassion, as each morning the prayer comes unbidden to my mind and offers me another beautiful opportunity to surrender. 

it's 4:00 am now,

and the empty page that started my morning is now filled with heartfelt words. In an hour I'll give an online talk without a single planned idea other than the lesson for today. There's a grace present right now, an easiness, a beautiful moment where, indeed, everything is surrendered. It doesn't have to last. Another moment might follow with an ego's rush of plans and ideas. But my commitment isn't a struggle, there's no punishment for forgetfulness or if my mind wavers. 

there's just another beautiful moment.

and another.

everything's forgiven.

and I'm asked to chose again.

³What would You have me do?
⁴Where would You have me go?
⁵What would You have me say, and to whom? (ACIM, W-71.9:3-5)

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: Devotion

Also, please visit: The Mystic Jesus

Thank you.

Blessing

Blessing:

My holiness blesses the world. (ACIM, W-37)

and now it's so, although it seemed to take many years to arrive here. But the truth is that my holiness is an inherent quality of existence. It's not earned nor striven for, it's just a quiet kiss of love extended to the world. My whole life seemed a search for purpose, lost years of addiction, a profound sense of having little worth. Yet even then my holiness was intact. Through the very fabric of my being there was a blessing that gently worked through me. 

and you as well.

in fact, 

it was your holiness that revealed my own.

thank you, thank you, thank you.

 may we now continue to bless the world together,

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: Devotion

Also, please visit: The Mystic Jesus

Thank you.

Devotion

Devotion:

becoming devotional, surprisingly so, and I never thought it would be the Holy Spirit that would guide me here. A Course in Miracles has been the guide book of my life, 30 years of practice. Originally it was the logical lay out of its order, follow the exercises and the results are the peace. I very much needed that early on as my life was a chaos of late nights and alcohol. The Course definitely delivered in it's promise and my life settled into an easy study of the text, yoga, meditation. The miracles wasn't that my life became issue free, but that I was able to face my struggles with a degree of grace that simply wasn't present before. What I didn't expect was the my heart would break open through my practice of the Course, a literal devotion to the Holy Spirit and the guidance He Provides. 

everyday is now a mystery.

surrendered.

and each morning begins with the devotional act of turning towards the Holy Spirit in a first act of trust and asking to be guided through the day:

²Today I will make no decisions by myself. (ACIM, T-30.I.2:2)

and there's a continuous letting go:

³What would You have me do?
⁴Where would You have me go?
⁵What would You have me say, and to whom? (ACIM, W-71.9:3-5)

and I am truly met with guidance, surprisingly so in many ways. Forgiveness is now a thoughtful process, catching myself in earliest grievances and letting it go sooner than ever before. I'm more quickly brought to the root source with space provided for me to let the thought go. Most surprisingly though are the littlest nudges that guide me on, mysterious request such as devoting time to pray the rosary instead of my customary mantra practice, to suddenly a yoga pose that's long been absence from my practice. These seem inconsequential at first hint but always prove to the very act that fills me with a sense of ease and grace and trust. I have no idea why. Maybe it's learning to listen more clearly.

or maybe it's just mystery.

I do not know what anything is for. (ACIM, W-25)

and this proves true over and over.

yet I'm learning the fine art of letting go of the need to immediately know,or even understand the mystery that's in store.

 I'm now living my life in quiet devotion,

trusting,

 one surrendered moment at a time.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: Whisper

Also, please visit: The Course in Miracles Experiment

Thank you.

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