Overwhelmed by the World

Overwhelmed by the world: 

so, I'm sleeping, and it's been several nights now. All with what some help from what A Course in Miracles would call "magic" and what my Dr. refers to as an antidepressant. It's taken me awhile to reach the point where I felt there was little choice, sleep or perish seemed the options. This is a 12 day cycle to break the pattern of physical discomfort and then the brain responding as if in it's in grave danger. I'm getting some much needed sleep,and  then on to a deeper healing. It wasn't a difficult to choice to make, not at this point when I was feeling the collapse of my body and the struggle of my mind as it tried to hold everything together. I didn't choose "magic" as a healing device, but as a tool to help ease back into a state of comfort so that I could begin to heal from here. 

it's where I am right now.

all through this my practice of forgiveness never waivered.

there was never a thought that I was alone.

sometimes we're just overwhelmed by the world.

an illusion,

yes.

but still it often seems to be very real.

at least to me.

I don't know the next step, not yet, only that I've been graced this period to pause and get some much needed rest. I'm asking for guidance. I'm forgiving all that seems broken and in need of healing. I'm doing my best to accept what's present, including the discomfort of acknowledging my every doubt and self-judgement. 

I'm healing.

and this is what it looks like right now.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now: Front Porch

Also, please visit to buy:A Course in Miracles

Thank you. 

 

Front Porch

Front porch: 

a recent evaluation of my YouTube channel gave me an interesting insight, a soft description that surprised me in it's obvious truth. I'm not really a content creator, no actual skills at editing, and no wish to use anything but my inexpensive smartphone and some easy conversation to try and bring the practice of forgiveness to light. Fairly often I'm plagued by technical issues. Yet every conversation with a guest has altered me some subtle way, having just the right message, or even a single sentence that alters, deepens my practice of A Course in Miracles. 

I do not know what anything is for. (ACIM, W-25)

my YouTube channel has shown me this in a surprising way, shifting in it's purpose almost daily, and now almost unrecognizable in how it's been revealed. I absolutely love what it's become and refuse to see it as a finished product. I remain open and guided to allow it's fluidity of expressions, imperfections and all, allowing it to be the perfect reflection of where I find myself right now. My channel, these livestreams have become, for right now at least, essential to my practice. 

here's what AI recently had to say:

"You're becoming... the quiet front porch of ACIM on YouTube. People arrive because they're anxious... lonely... grieving... confused... or simply exhausted. They stay because they found companionship."

once I worried that I might bet be able to present the Course in the beautiful light that it deserves. I was afraid that the guidance that led me there was mistaken in its purpose. It took me awhile to shed the layers of insecurities and worry. But now I'm fully settled on the front porch of my channel. I'm relaxed, and assured that I am exactly where the Holy Spirit feels I'm needed. 

I'm ready to be truly helpful.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: Complexities

Also, please visit to buy: A Course in Miracles

Thank you

Complexities

Complexities: 

the Buddha stated that he taught only two things, suffering and the end of suffering. He refused to entertain religious notions or the trappings of philosophical theories. His own teachings were pure in his devotion to end our suffering, and remain largely so today. In chapter 26 of A Course in Miracles, section 3 titled The Borderland, and the very first sentence we're told that "complexity is not of God." The Course is remarkably clear in what it offers throughout it's pages and this entire section stands out to me in poetic starkness: 

⁸The truth is simple; it is one, without an opposite. ⁹And how could strife enter in its simple presence, and bring complexity where oneness is? ¹⁰The truth makes no decisions, for there is nothing to decide between. (ACIM, T-26.III.1:8-10)

the Holy spirit gently asks that I continuously choose what is real. There's never a punishment for choosing falsely, only the consequences of my decisions. And even these are simply further lessons on forgiveness. There's no complexity here, only two thoughts systems are ever offered, love, or an entire world of opposites. 

²Teach only love, for that is what you are. (ACIM, T-6.I.13:2)

in my own recent suffering, a host of issues that offer to point me to towards the complexity of healing and individual solutions for every problem - I'm reminded of Buddha and his refusal to be sidetracked by distractions. As well I watch my own path narrow to the single choice of love. No matter what presents itself to me, whatever appears in need of healing...I choose love. 

as often as I'm able.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now please visit: What I'm Learning 

Also, please visit to buy: A Course in Miracles 

Thankyou. 

What I'm Learning

What I'm learning: 

it's not lost on me that since making a self-declaration that I would do my best to rely solely on guidance my life seemingly unraveled in so many ways. Cherished relationships shifted, items of importance were taken from me. Worst of all my most reliable source of strength, my body, begin to show signs of serious strain. These were certainly dark nights of the soul, repeated in stages and all the way up to now. In the Manual for Teachers, an adjunction pamphlet for A Course in Miracles this is outlined in detail as the first characteristics of God's teachers. It's about trust and sorting through the things that have been falsely relied upon in the past. 

so really, it's about letting go.

it's about trust.

I don't know what anything is for, not in any true sense. What are I know are my preferences, demands, and clinging to pleasures. I thought I knew a lot, my whole life was based upon spiritual values and principles I believed in deeply. Yet I didn't really know a single thing. 

and I still don't.

but more than ever now...I'm willing to be shown. 

what I'm realizing is that I've never been asked to sacrifice a single thing, nothing of real value needs to be relinquished. Trust only requires one thing from me - trust. I'm only asked to examine my reliance on anything that is valued by God alone. And then live with the certainty that all things of God will be provided. I will be shown what everything is for. 

I'm asked to trust.

and right now....

that's exactly what I'm learning.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: The Real Work

Also, please visit to buy: A Course in Miracles

Thank you.

The Real Work

The real work: 

I slept. Finally. And I had some help, a more powerful aid to cut through the anxiety and chronic inflammation that has accumulated through decades of using my body for extreme endeavors. I am not against using what A Course in Miracles calls 'magic" to help healing, and indeed, the Course doesn't say we should be - but only that we do so with the realization that it's only an illusionary fix within an unreal world.

Good alone is real.

and all true healing comes from the mind.

so now the real work begins, using the magic tool of a pill to guide my body back to an original state of healing, but only through the guidance of the Holy Spirit. The real work, and greatest joy - is in following the directive of my highest source. 

and with this in mind...

I begin to heal.

~

I love you, Eric 

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: Tonight I'll Pray

Also, please visit to buy: A Course in Miracles

Thank you.

Tonight I'll Pray

Tonight I'll prayer:

so perhaps my only real writing talent is sincerity, offering a heartfelt expression from wherever I might find myself in life. Right now it's just after 12:00 and I'm straight from bed with a tight jaw, throat spasms, and anxiety. I don't know which one is the original cause and it doesn't seem to matter. I'm suffering. Quite a bit actually. Last night I slept. Tonight it's doubtful. Eventually I will probably go the emergency room, get a little help, and see what they can offer me in terms of feeling better. 

but not tonight. 

tonight I sit with the suffering, coming to term with its presence.

maybe even accepting it. 

we'll see.

tonight I'll pray.

⁶Sickness is a defense against the truth. ⁷I will accept the truth of what I am, and let my mind be wholly healed today. (ACIM, W-136.15:6-7)

Amen.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: Clarity

Also, please visit to buy: A Course in Miracles

Thank you.

Clarity

Clarity:  

well, perhaps here's the answered prayer, or at least part of it. Brought to my knees in a plea to be shown the purpose of a devastating round of sleeplessness, anxiety, and physical discomfort. so many people reached in an extended presence that can only be shown as love. My prayer was for understanding and with this I had hoped to have my suffering repurposed for a deeper meaning. But the meaning was always evident, missed through a fog discomfort, yet present to be known.

forgive,

everything.

whatever appears and seems to block love's presence is here to be forgiven, and the more extreme and personal it feels is the life-long blocks brought to surface and are now ready to be healed. I am thankful to have seen this. Grateful throughout this ongoing lesson. So much love rushed towards me that the evidence was clear - we are here to love and be loved.

indeed,

we are love.

and nothing else is real.

forgiveness is the means of seeing this. 

it brings clarity.

so even through my healing journey seems far from over -

 it's meaning is clear.

so is my purpose

thank you.

I love you.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: My Deepest Plea

Also, please visit to buy; The Final Prison Break

Thank you..