Beautiful Lines

Beautiful lines: 

and I trust that by the end of whatever time I spend here writing - that there'll be a few meaningful words arranged across this page, perhaps even a beautiful line or two that fill me with a small joy when I consider where they arrived from, having been inspiration sent, and given only to this quiet moment of writing. My great wish is to carry this trust even further now, with my entire life being a page and receiving only those beautiful lines whispered by the Holy Spirit. 

it starts here,

with an empty page...

and my trust in inspiration.

~

I love you, Eric

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A Trusting Prayer

A trusting prayer:

moment by every moment, a shift towards the voice for God, however slight, and with this I learn to trust in the Holy Spirit. It's not complicated, there's no real plan for learning how to surrender. Right now I don't know what anything is for, nothing in my life provides any true meaning at first glance.That's the first truth that I acknowledge - and from here's it's just a simple matter of asking to be shown the real value of whatever life delivers. So each moment is the entirety of the plan, proceeding from this initial willingness to let go of my own immediate demand to understand something, and then offering up a little prayer that I wish to be shown what this is truly for. My trust is then demonstrated through forgiveness, a practice of choosing light over what appears to be present moment darkness. 

that's it, 

the entirety of my life's plan. 

a trusting prayer.

~

I love you, Eric

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Great Faith

Great faith:  

there's been great faith placed in my mantra, how a specific sound, a vibration really, has carried me to the depth of stillness repeatedly through years of my meditation practice. No matter where my thoughts might wander I am led back to silence through it's practice. In much the same way forgiveness plays though my mind, a backdrop of consistency that never allows me to stay far from my true spiritual home. I have great faith in my practice of forgiveness, always available to me, a continuous meditation that never fails to release me from the grip of resents and grievances that seek to keep me in their tightened hold. This is my mantra away from the meditation cushion, carrying the softest vibration of love, a forgiveness phrase that carries me lightly though the day - 

"I forgive myself for dreaming this world" 

and with great faith, 

trust,

no matter were my thoughts might wander...

my mantra always takes me home.

~

I love you, Eric 

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Eternity Follows

Eternity follows: 

I love the gentleness of allowing myself to trust in the Holy Spirit, how it calls for just a little willingness, no more, and then my trust develops a bit further from there, one moment of trust at a time. This is the trickle of faith that carves the stone floor into a canyon, steady, asking no more than a single moment that leads on into eternity. It seems that I often place the development of trust on a list for things to be accomplish, that it's an achievement of faith that accelerates my progress. This has often been my "all out or nothing" approach throughout life, diving in at once for the immediate benefits and results - and of course trust doesn't work that way. It's a gradual extension of that little willingness I'm asked to have, trusting just for this one moment, right now and no more...

and from here eternity follows.

as it's always now.

~

I love you, Eric

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Show of Faith

Show of faith: 

and of course the ultimate show of faith is forgiveness, a display of trust so profound that our initial reaction to a person or situation that seems to wound us is now used as a call to prayer, providing us an opportunity to love further and forgive more deeply. The appearance of our wounds aren't denied, our trust's isn't misguided, nor do we bypass our trauma. We seek to heal the source conflict, addressing the wound directly at its point of origin. Our faith is placed in our own internal healer, not trusting in an illusory world for comfort, but turning within and asking the Holy Spirit to guide us towards a true healing. Faith is now continued by extending this same healing light towards another, trusting that there is only love between us, one internal teacher that guides us all back to heaven. 

forgiveness is the ultimate show of faith. 

it's independent of the evidence provided by an illusory world. 

relying solely on the results of its practice -

being self-evident,

by the healing that proceeds it. 

~

I love you, Eric

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Sigh

Sigh: 

softly now, proceeding through life with each moment welcomed with true forgiveness. There is a growing sense of gentleness occurring, a long held tension dissipating with ease. My life feels like a sigh, as if I've held my breath for so long, afraid of letting go, never even realizing how constricted I've become - and gently, gently, this breath surrendered with a smile...and a new one taken. 

forgiveness only asks for what's been held too long, 

stale air, our fear of letting go,

we're urged to sigh -

trusting that we never breathe alone.

~

I love you, Eric

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A Small Display

A small display: 

it's an early morning display of trust - what was once the intimidation of an empty page has now becoming the trusting welcome of new ideas and beautiful expressions. I know that words will soon appear, there's never even the smallest doubt any longer. And they always arrive from the same unseen source that calls for a further surrender into an inspired life. Writing is not a small thing to me, it's a ritual of faith, a process of trust that carries over into every aspect of my day. 

words arrive...

and my day flows with this confidence, my request for inspiration so easily granted, as if God whispered through the angels of fingertips and keyboard and words so easily appeared. Every morning I'm asked to trust in so many ways, from first waking breath being readily received, to the promise of sunrise in a still darkened sky. I have no idea how any of this actually happens or why it's given so easily without having to be asked for - but I suspect it's all gifted from the same source that brings me just the right words each morning. 

I suspect it's love.

and everyday...I'm willing to surrender a little more.

~

I love you, Eric

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Trust

Trust: 

and the problem is that I've already developed a great deal of trust, almost limitless it seems, all of it misplaced within the confines of a world created by the ego. For so long, a lifetime really, my trust has been earned by struggle and a great deal of effort for so little gained. It was largely an unexamined life even though I placed an emphasis on meditation and spiritual pursuits. My trust in the world was so complete that it never occurred to me that it could be wrong in it's assumptions. So really, this is just the redevelopment of trust, it's simply fixing a misdirection - shifting from faith in the false and temporary things of the ego to remembering the all encompassing love the Holy Spirit offers. It's waking from a dream of darkness to the reality of light. So this might seem to take some effort, and maybe there's fear involved in these early stages of letting go of all the ego holds dear. Yet.effort and fear are really just part of the dream as well. Waking up is as simple as opening our eyes -

and seeing the presence of dawn beautifully unfolding.

no effort at all required.

trust...

and it is so.

`

I love you, Eric

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Lean

Lean: 

I love the balancing postures, two in particular each morning, vrikshasana, or tree pose, and natarajasana, also called the dancer's pose. Both of these poses require trust, being mindful of just the right shift of balance to continue the posture a little while longer. What I'm trusting is not only the body, but ground beneath my feet and the very air that seems to support be when I reach the point of feeling perfectly poised and stead. It sometimes feels like I could hold each of these asanas forever, an eternal yogi trusting that a greater force will hold him. And fairly often too I stumble from the pose, as if the air defeated me and gravity frowned upon my effort to defy it. Lately though, my trust has grown, deepened into something nearly describable - 

I'm being held. 

not propped to support the the pose, and not always with a sense of ease, but with a grace that whispers to me that every fall and tug of gravity is in perfect order for the lesson of the moment. I'm not asked to trust that each asana will be perfect, no, it's that they will be perfectly expressed in such a way that I learn to remember to smile through every shift of balance. Trust is dynamic, requiring deep listening and keen inner sight that takes us beyond the appearance of what the moment offers. I know that each fall doesn't remove me from the hold of grace, but only furthers my commitment to smile and lean even deeper into the unseen arms that always hold me. 

it's trust.

and every morning...

I lean just a littler further.

~

I love you, Eric

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A Happy Learner

A happy learner: 

I'm learning to trust, and there's been hard lessons that have brought me low and made this a difficult thing to learn. From the perspective of  Course in Miracles, trust is letting go of the need to control the narrative, being centered in the present moment, and not judging what unfolds. Trust is relying solely on Source to provide the means for my function to be fulfilled. My function, as is everyone's, it to move from a fearful mind to one of trusting in the voice of God, shifting from a mindset of separation to the reality of being joined together in love. I've not always been a happy learner with these lessons. The Course says a happy learner is someone who is willing to unlearn everything those hard lessons offered, relearning to trust that God's only concern is for my true happiness. 

and that's where it seems I'm slowly arriving -

happiness.

joy.

I'm beginning to fulfill my function. 

perhaps soon, not far off at all, I can call myself a happy learner.

and complete mean it.

because it's true.

~

I love you, Eric

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An Adjective

An adjective: 

reminding myself that I'm still learning, and that while a healed mind does not plan, as lesson 135 of A Course in Miracles beautiful states - I'm not quite there yet, healing, trusting, but I haven't completely placed my faith in the Holy Spirit. I have, however, fully embraced the process, those small moments of surrender that deliver an enormous sense of joyful bliss. It's okay that right now I'm living more as an adjective than I am a noun, I'm in process, almost at that point of fully accepting those expressions of love, experiencing miracles in my everyday life. The truth is, I'm in process, and this is exactly as it's supposed to be right now, this is where I am, an adjective...

on the verge of realizing it's true nature. 

~

I love you, Eric

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To Be Written

To be written: 

and really, it's as simple as this, just recognizing that truly, I need do nothing. This is the ultimate display of trust, allowing myself the restfulness of the present moment without the rush for any sense of achievement or gain. Of course this doesn't mean inaction, my life might still look like someone devoted to a spiritual path, or attempting to earn an income through my work on social media. But this is what I'm guided to do, at least for now, and it brings me great joy to devote myself to it. The difference is that I'm beginning to trust that I'm exactly where I need to be, there's no frantic energy involved for things to be other than what they are right now. I'm more relaxed, trusting in an inner guidance.

almost as if, 

I'm an instrument belonging to a greater hand...

allowing my life to be written.

joyfully.

~

I love you, Eric 

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My Place of Asking

My place of Asking: 

and this is almost always where I start my practice, an empty page and letting go of all preconceived notions on the words to fill it. This is my place of asking, it's where inspiration is received. Each morning I ask the Holy Spirit for just the right words...

and this is where my prayers are answered.

~

I love you, Eric

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Release

Release: 

by Grace I live, the beginning of lesson 169 of A Course in Miracles, and it's full acceptance is a way of life that leads directly to the realization of the Christ within. This is such a beautiful declaration, that grace is God's love and my trust belongs only here. I've been on this edge for sometime now, touched by the hint of grace, yet still withholding complete trust even as I knew there was no value in any other options. Yet here I am, older, worn through by fear....and grace is still inviting me, ever patient, gently waiting for me to step from that edge and fall within the arms of love. What I realize now is that I've always lived by grace, although often ignored and quickly forgotten. 

it's the second part of this lesson that's taken me so long to remember.

by grace I am released.

 forgiveness is inclusive, no one's left out...

including myself. 

and herein lies the grace of my release.

~

I love you, Eric

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A Healing Mind

A healing mind: 

and perhaps this is the most radical of all thoughts offered by Jesus in A Course in Miracles is that the healed mind does not plan, and, indeed, relies solely on the guidance of the Holy Spirit. This puts us solely in the present moment, without concern for defending the past, nor projecting worry to the future. It's clear that my own mind is not yet healed, but it is healing, and I am learning to trust in God in a very profound way. This is really about staying present, being attentive to divine flow and attuned to the voice of the Holy Spirit. It's also a beautiful way to live, being deeply appreciative to the ebb and flow of life, having faith the nothing is removed without reason, and that nothing essential is ever absent. This past year has been a lesson for me on trust. It has felt like a time of continuous loss on so many levels. Yet I am here now, with just a little willingness to give up the plans drawn up by ego. There's another way of living in the world....and I ask the Holy Spirit to help me find it. 

~

I love you, Eric

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Edge of Fear

Edge of fear: 

what I've long wanted to do was live a simple life of creativity, writing and sharing, and above all else demonstrating the principles that I've held so dear. My challenge has been the possibility of earning an income through creative means, ultimately trusting that indeed, God alone is the source and I only have to stay true to the message of forgiveness and love. I am not there yet, not in income, nor faith - trusting in the infinite generosity of the universe has often placed me on the edge of fear. This year has taught be the art of letting go, almost continuously so it seems. I've been stripped of much that I've long cherished, finding myself precariously dangling on that edge. 

and yet, here I am. 

my plan is to keep showing up until I can no longer do so, or that I am eventually called to offer a different means of my creativity. So is it really a gamble when all I've been asked to do is demonstrate love, kindness, and continuous forgiveness? Sometimes it still seems so, my faith hasn't quite backed me away from that fearful edge. But I'm willing to stand here a little while longer, swaying on that edge, afraid, and yet trusting too that perhaps....

this is where I learn to fly.

~

I love you, Eric

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Fulfillment

Fulfillment: 

I've always liked the principle of manifesting, first coming across it many years ago through some authors that might be considered "New Age" in their beliefs, and it immediately appealed to me as an almost magical way of fulfilling my desire. My yoga studies at the time explained it in way that seemed to make the most sense, that it's simply a matter of entering an intent, a sankalpa, into the infinite field of pure consciousness and allowing it to align with the potentiality of it's fulfillment. Magical, yes, but also based up sound principles of yogic knowledge. And it worked, right circumstances always seemed to reveal themselves for me to trust the process, patiently detached as the universe cooperated with my intentions and brought my desire to its fruition. 

and yet, there was never fulfillment, or not completely so, as the next desire almost always emerged soon after the first appeared. An endless cycle of desire. Deepak Chopra coined the term "spontaneous fulfillment of desire" and it urges us to follow the synchronicities that naturally appear through the mind that grows quiet with the practice of meditation. Again, into that vast still of consciousness we enter a more general intent of trust, having the good faith that the universe knows exactly what we need for our every need to be met. This has been my practice for many years, it appeals to my growing sense of trust that I am part of an infinite Source that loving guides me on my way through life. 

but even this practice now feels a bit incomplete, as if I am not ultimately trusting that God alone will meet my every need if I just surrender to His love. This is where my long practice of A Course in miracles has led me, that ultimate surrender, complete faith that I am cared for through the love of God. I'll be honest, I'm not quite there yet, close, being on the precipice of this surrender. What I've found, as I'm balancing here on the edge of faith - is that this is now my only true desire, allowing God to be the one fulfillment that has need for another to arise. It's the end of the cycle of desire. Or close to it for me. So as the Course offers in lesson 242:

And so we give today to You. ²We come with wholly open minds. ³We do not ask for anything that we may think we want. ⁴Give us what You would have received by us. ⁵You know all our desires and our wants. ⁶And You will give us everything we need in helping us to find the way to You. (ACIM, W-242.2:1-6)

yes, I'm still on the precipice...

but closer now to finally letting go.

~

I love you, Eric

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Closer

Closer: 

this trust has always been the hardest for me, never quiet reaching that point of perfect surrender, placing my future in the hands of God. Ultimately this is what A Course in Miracles brings us to, and not even that far into the workbook we're asked to take that step, gently so, but still a giant act of trust. Decades ago, my first time through the workbook, and I was naive enough declare that from this point on my faith was in God alone and my future was secure. It was naive because my life was still so full of fear and anxiety, having more faith in ego than God. 

I'm no longer quite so naive.

but my faith has grown, and even with no small amount of fear still present - I'm closer to that trust than ever, maybe not quite ready for that definite declaration. 

yet closer.

and, indeed, I do place my future in the hands of God.

knowing that each day,

 my trust grows stronger still.

~

I love you, Eric

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Cusp

Cusp: 

over years of study and several times through the workbook of A Course in Miracles, lesson 48 now stands as somewhat of a cusp for me, stating that there is nothing to fear, and always arriving right when it seems that I am most fearful. This is the exact moment I'm to deny my own strength and depend fully on the will of God. Once again I'm not sure I'm ready for this leap of faith, oddly so, as it's not as if my own answers have brought me to a lasting place of peace. Indeed, the Course reminds me that this precipice is entirely of my own making, and allowing the embrace of God to guide me would release me from my fear. With so many years of practice and study, near endless demonstrations and examples of mistakes that have been transformed through my previous surrender - I find myself amazed at my stubborn clinging to fragile thoughts of strength.  And still I'm not quite ready to fully release this underlying sense of fear. Yet the Holy Spirit asks that I only to have a little willingness,just enough to gently approach this fearful edge.

and so this is where I find myself,right now.

on a cusp...

with just a little willingness.

~

I love you, Eric 

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Loving Choices

Loving choices: 

of course my most difficult directive is to trust, having faith that I am guided through loving choices, and that my path always leads me to the light of God. I am often lost along this path, or seem to be at least, as sometimes a loving choice takes me further from the things I believe I really need. Therein lies the struggle, sorting through the beliefs that have me clinging to the little things of the world...until I'm finally ready to let go of the littleness and find my way back home. 

yet this isn't a journey.

my destination is here, right now,

and I arrive home -

 only though my loving choices. 

~

I love you, Eric

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