From Seamless Expansion

 From seamless expansion:

it's the world - as given through the senses, a translation of direct experience happening each moment to something my mind can easily understand. From this, listening becomes what's heard, a label to each sound. My view is transformed from seamless expansion to objects found separate from each other, and my own split from belonging to the world. This isn't necessarily wrong. It's just not reality, at least not completely. 

reality is whole, or perhaps it's better suited to say wholeness - one thing appearing as the distinctions of the world. I prefer to say seamless, and of course none of this actually captures what's truly on, my preference for description is simply poetic license to write these words. Reality escapes me in description but is always, simply, exactly what's going on. 

so seamless is my word of preference only because this seems to be my direct experience, that I find no point of separation from the reach of morning sounds to my listening. Nothing has to find me, I am present, now, and here, for what's to heard. There is nothing I need to do for this to happen, it's an effortless art of just listening. 

even as my thoughts add labels it all remains as a seamless view, an easy expansion of seeing how space allows itself to be lent as nature - of how a flower belongs as much to the air of its surrounding as to the earth that holds its roots. This too is carried to my own seeing, holding the same flower in my view is offering space for it to be in my experience, rooted right now in my very own existence. 

seamless all. 

my translation of the world is my own, although I've inherited words to apply each experience, their directness happening belongs to me alone. I offer what I hear and see, providing meaning that's been added a moment after their occurrence. Reality is always, only, first. There really is no after. Even my thoughts of this description are seamless in their belonging. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Through Breath

 

Through breath:

it's found as breath - a rebirth through moments, and life continued in a trade of drawn air and its release again to the world. It's alchemy. The breath reveals my most subtle moods, to follow along with its flow brings me to an easy observation, a witness to currents all but unknown to the busy details of my common day. There's no great secret here, what's found is simply qualities of life in greater stillness, an essence of a quite self which remains no matter the layers of thought and beliefs applied. Through breath I come to find my own allowing nature - present all along. 

there is a constant exchange of things for life to be, respiration on a cellular level, compounds broken down to the point of energy - again it comes to essence, everything found smaller, and smaller still to show nothing true as form. Life is energy. Then there comes the breath, respiration of another kind, life in repetition itself, the universe inhaled and channeled through the body's function, and exhaled in a grateful return to the world. 

through breath comes inspiration, life in its most subtle hint of mystery, a whisper not heard by ears but revealed in the depth of true listening - it's grace received through air drawn in from the world and given back again through intimacy of breath. Inspiration is breathing of another kind. 

in this all it's just one thing - aspects of life exchanging information through channels of its reach. I breathe nothing separate from myself, giving back only what truly, already belongs as well. Life is always equal in exchange. 

through breath - I am revealed. 

~

Peace, Eric 

My Own Found Experience

 My own found Awareness:

of my experience - and this all I really can say about the world, my own found awareness and what unfolds for me alone. It's only my present moment evidence, not meant to be believed by anyone else, or even by me, everything is subject to change, experienced and then let go. What remains is the motion of reality, shifting to a new expression even in the direct experience of what's occurring. 

nothing is known in isolation, reality it seems is a fabric of infinite threads and a small, attentive moment reveals the cloth of all existence. This doesn't mean I'm blessed with privileged information, the knowing and wisdom of guru and sage. It only means an awareness of this moment - that right now, my attention to any single detail reveals a larger experience as well. 

this moment, writing, drinking coffee, allowing the sounds of the world to reach me through an open widow, early breeze touched against me. It's a broad experience of my morning routine, I'm aware of it all, and yet writing has my sharpest attention. But to write of my direct experience of now is to open to all that follows a single thread, it not wandering thoughts but simply my own allowing nature informing me of a larger world to be experienced right here in my office. 

awareness is my invitation to explore what comes to my attention, to experience each given experience as a gift never again to be offered. I'm grateful to receive it all, knowing that to receive means I'm alive, hopeful in the faith that reality is motion, a continuous rebirth of a world to be experienced. It's the promise of each moment. 

~

Peace, Eric 

A Shared Existence

 

A shared existence:

more than anything - it seems a shared existence, that any claim of my true distinction is lost in mingled breath and molecules exchanged between us. This is life in all it's varied space and form, seamless, whole. At no point do I find myself removed from this, an impossibility of existing on my own - I am an equal part of this exchange, breathing in our common air, some essence of myself given in return. Life has a rhythm, subtle, and my sense of being is found in response. I am a keynote in this song. 

this is a bit difference than a claim of oneness, of my own center within existence - I have no sense of being any true source, that the world extends through my awareness. But I am aware, and all that's found is simply part of this belonging, an even flow of just one thing. Nothing needs to be added to this, no belief that it's anything more than what's found. 

just aware. 

shared, and in this I see myself as both process and outcome, as breath itself in motion and resulting life - this only seems as separate events, and yet it all comes plainly as one existence. I am shared, as well I am accumulation of all that's given, somehow a continuation of it all. So I can only find myself grateful, and perhaps this is the true gift of being aware, that I see myself as this sharing, knowing of my inter-dependence, and that every aspect of the world is essential for my existence. In this way my every breath is an offered prayer of thank you - that I am, and that we share this all, together. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Than What's Found Present

Than what's found present:

seeking to escape has been my greatest cause of suffering, making a sincere wish for things to be other than what's found present - any moment but this, and always something better imagined in some far off time. My true suffering happened in my mind. 

it's not that suffering is imagined, anguish is real in the moment it appears and for however long it stays. Pain is the message of the moment, a current event no matter when the initial strike occurred, the experience of hurt is always now - and yet I would find myself projecting to a time beyond the hold of a present moment filled with pain, a false comparison of what is now and moment not existing. That's suffering. It's an impossible wish to escape whatever is occurring right now, a coping plan to ease a bit of pain. It just isn't real. 

sometimes reality hurts, and I've spent a fair amount of time in search for different ways to ease this pain, a pathway of blissful bypassing, ignoring a certain sacred truth always hidden right before my eyes - life is full of every possibility, nothing denied nor excluded, and this fullness must contain all the things that might bring pain, cause me anguish, grief for what I've lost. I'm always found here, and this present moment is an allowing space. It can't be truly ignored. Life will continue in possibilities, things will happen beyond my wish or control, and sometimes, perhaps often, I will feel broken, grieving, left behind - I will be in pain and I will suffer. But I won't add to this with a wish of an imagined future, a time when suffering doesn't exist. 

what I have is what's found present, whatever that may be now, and I have no idea of what will come next - life will continue in it's offering, and I will continue to experience the fullness of its gifts. Sometimes I will be grateful, appreciative of beauty, content in the simplicity of just this given moment. And sometimes not. It's how it all seems to go sometimes. Yet there is present grace to this, a motion that is constant in surprise. That makes all the difference - allowing life in all its motion. 

~

Peace, Eric  

Until Named

 Until named:

everything just is - until named and defined by expectations. It's an easy way to navigate the world, providing a certain understanding and useful information. But it's not entirely how things are, it's only a surface reality, not telling me the whole story. My wish is to know, to explore what the world tells me before it comes to words - and then from here to write as clear as possible without story other than my own. 

it's not that I will believe my own fiction any more than what was offered from others - it's simply experience first before translation, my own sense of how things are without being told to just except the authority of another. Direct experience. Of course this what is always happening, everything is direct, personal through awareness. Yet it's easily, quickly forgotten, dismissed through the hurry of the day. What I bring now is my attention, an easy, relaxed note of not just what's occurring, but that it occurs and I am aware and that at no point is there a gap between them. Even as I offer a name to these events they flow without interruption, life being expressed in the very moment of my narration, another story told - but somehow different now. 

as the world is, and this includes my stories, labels I believe in, arguments for things to be other than what's found. Fiction is no escape for reality, and yet it seamlessly belongs as well. Every story is just a translation of the world, an assist to belong with a certain ease and understanding. It's why things are given names, an attempt to really know what something is. What's lost, forgotten, is that everything is already known for the reality of what it is - a tree is no less before it's labeled, in truth, seeing it directly tells me nothing, it simply reveals exactly, only what is present now. It's complete, without story. 

so everything just is - simply, direct, and experienced without story. Then too, is the experience of the story, every bit as real in its own way, not to be dismissed. It belongs in the same everything, the seamless whole. My joy is in writing the thoughts which appear in my mind, knowing that no matter what I write it's all fiction, and yet it's somehow true as well. At lease in a sense...

~

Peace, Eric 

Never Broken From The Whole

 

Never Broken from the whole: 

without interruption - and this is the true experience of life, that events aren't broken to distinct timelines, only changing through the new appearance of something other than before. My life is always now. It's inescapable and nothing interrupts its flow. Yes, the unexpected happens, sometimes sudden and often not at all what I would wish for. But life continues, different now perhaps, yet seamless too - the essence of being alive, let's call it presence, simply allows one more thing within its hold. Life goes on. Never broken from the whole. 

for me, this is grace - just a term for life's allowing nature, how it always continues on a course I can't control, and yet always seems to accept my every way of being. Through this I can relax in an easy knowing that nothing is permanent, life wasn't broken by an unwanted appearance, that through this seamless grace I remain whole, unbroken in the essence that I am. 

this is easy for me to know, although for years it was unnoticed - just my view alone holds the world unbroken, one object continuing to the next without real interruption, a true connection of formlessness in its becoming of something solid. So too with listening, every sound emerging from its silent hold, and still silence remains, lending itself for the music of the world to be made. More subtle, my thoughts too belong within this flow - how I find myself aware of what's whispered through the mind, a presence of some inner listening that never seems to waiver. 

this seems an endless pattern, a design of continuation that simply allows life's full expression - whatever that may be. Through this I find myself included, not part of the whole, but uninterrupted in my inclusion, seamless, complete. 

what I am - is never broken from the whole. 

~

Peace, Eric