Tracking Dawn

Tracking dawn: 

ever since winter solstice I've been tracking dawn, following its course of rising through the morning, and wondering when I catch my first glimpse of light on my earliest morning walks. I usually head outdoors somewhere around the 5:00 a.m mark, sometimes before, but that's the standard time for me as I wish to avoid most runners, especially the heavy footed and those who play music while they run. My purpose is solitude, quiet, and whatever glimpse of wildlife fortune provides for me. Even my own steps often disturb the morning silence. I pause often, allowing everything to settle, proceeding again only when I'm sure my footsteps will be mindful. 

so earlier for me is better.

yet this time of year, all through the months winter, I miss the sunrise. Even the ambient light before true fails to appear at this time. I don't mind the darkness, my eyes adjust to the path and there's seldom a need for the flashlight that I carry. It's always an interesting time, caught right between two worlds as some wildlife is awakening while others retreat to find a place to rest through daylight hours. It feels like home to me, a meeting point of two worlds, mysterious, showing me how I belong to both darkness and light and every shade between. 

there's nothing to choose in this belonging. 

it's all perfect just as it is. 

tracking dawn, ever earlier now each day, and soon I'll catch the earliest sunlight. I'm looking forward to this, accepting the first tint of color to the sky as a welcome to another season. I belong just as fully to this morning light as I do to the darker shades that winter offers. There's nothing to choose here, life proceeds through various degrees of light and seasons and I am immersed in their belonging. Deeply so. A participant really. 

what I'm truly tracking, is the dawn of my own existence.

showing me just how deeply I belong. 

~

Peace, Eric