Familiar

Familiar: 

this was to be my year with God, trusting in a deeper way than ever before - and it seems life immediately put this commitment to the test. Please note that I didn't say God tested my faith. There's no requirement that my trust be displayed through hardships. 

yet it can certainly feel that way.

for me it was financial hardship and health concerns, along with changing relationships. I took a creative and spiritual leap this year with my sole source of income being a small YouTube channel that's devoted to demonstrating A Course in Miracles in various and meaningful ways. It's different from many Course channels in that any teaching that takes place is more through presence than actually talking about it. I don't wish to lecture, but communicate and offer a display of kindness as often as able. 

yes, it's a strange way to earn a livelihood.

difficult right now.

but I'm fully committed.

health and relationships have shifted as well. These once reliable pillars of strength have caused me a great deal of stress this year. It's as if I'm being asked to no longer depend upon the familiar and to now step upon new ground, sacred, yet still a mystery. 

I don't always know if I'm up for this. 

if I'm strong enough.

I don't know.

and yet my steps continue, most often joyfully so - 

yes, a mystery.

frightening at times.

but I now sense a presence by my side, steady, and even more familiar than anything I've ever held dear before. There's love here. I mean right here, now, intimate and truly mine. I'm not really asked to trust, or at least not in the way I previously believed I was supposed to -

I'm only asked to continue walking.

one step at a time.

and be willing to recognize this presence even more.

that's it.

and so my year goes on.

~

I love you, Eric

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Thank you.