Older

Older: 

older now, and I find myself less inclined towards certain things that once had a great pull for my participation. There's been a definite shift of energy, not so much a lessening, but just a change in how I wish to invest it, a quieter burn to my passions. I feel as if I'm in retreat from the world, and yet having an overwhelming love affair with life as well. A paradox perhaps. It's the best that I can do to explain it - and being older now, I'm less inclined to offer an explanation of my every contradiction and simply accept myself as I'm found. 

ever changing.

shifting.

a new expression being shown. 

I'm sure the recent pandemic pushed me in slight retreat, and my fathers death caused me to examine my priorities and the energy spent on things that now seemed a bit diminished. Really though, it's more of a call towards an interior life, simplicity, living a life of bare essence without need to chase the goals that once held such great importance. It's not that I love anything less than before, or that I don't foresee myself ever emerging from this inner retreat and participating once more in an outward expression of life. But at this point it just doesn't seem a possibility, it would be forced, uncomfortable, and worse, completely unauthentic to who I am right now. 

and older, I'm less inclined to being anything other than myself. 

whoever that might actual be. 

~

Peace, Eric