Absence of Words

Absence of words: 

I simply let the ideas come to me, sometimes it's just a word to start me out and an entire theme builds from there. Often it will be a vague concept that wishes to make itself known to me, and my only role is to provide the means for its expression. But generally, nothing is forced, there's no stress involved in my writing and if the first inkling of strain appears I will immediately surrender to the absence of words, patiently, allowing myself to sit in silence and wait for words to find me. 

and they always find me here.

exactly where I am.

there was a time when writing was worrisome, often coming to the page with a slight fear that my imagination might fail me, or at a critical time of writing I would suddenly be struck by silence, unable to continue working on some idea. It's amusing now to consider my fear of writers block being the very cause of failure. However, that was surely the case, that I was my own worse enemy as far as inspiration goes, petitioning for its appearance but always on my terms. Or really, by my demand, being so full of myself that I could possibly believe that inspiration would obey my command. What I really believed was that I was in charge, master of my imagination, and that I could force words to appear by virtue of my own special talent - and of course I was left frustrated, feeling abandoned by my talent. 

bereft of inspiration. 

afraid of the absence of words...

and being left with the silence that remains. 

I'm not really sure how things changed, it just seems that a large amount of self-importance has vanished and along with it all of my previous demands and conditions placed on inspiration. I no longer write on my terms alone, cooperating now with silence, knowing how it's so intimately connected to the appearance of ideas. There's a larger trust in inspiration, faith, that my only role is to show up each morning, patient, full of curiosity as to whatever might arrive to me, joyfully abiding in silence of its promise. 

that's all I have to do. 

~

Peace, Eric