By a Few Degrees

By a few degrees: 

largely, I believe, it's been less about seeking ultimate answers and really just to make myself happier by a few degrees. It's not that I didn't have concerns for the big questions, as somehow I've always seemed to know that happiness and the mystery of the self were intimately connected, that if I could retrace myself back to the source of my true identity I would find an unwavering sense of joy. 

but now I've settled on mystery,

and simply being happier by a few degrees.

really though, that's no small thing, having the easy pleasure of my yoga and meditation practice without adding anything other than my commitment to their calling, being offered nothing but a long stretch of postures and sitting in a deep interior silence, no search for anything beyond these precious moments. It's been more than enough for me, honestly, it's exactly what I've needed. 

relaxing in the joy of being.

and happier by a few degrees.

and of course I've always known this, yet it was so deeply hidden that it took years of searching for me to finally remember where the answer resides. What I had come to believe was that my practice was to be an achievement of some sort, reaching for an end result, and that I would ultimately receive the prize of understanding myself, enlightenment. What's happen is actually the opposite of this, my quest has been surrendered to the moment, joy is found here, right in the possibility of an asana, balancing, perhaps just an instance of poise before the posture's ending. Sitting in meditation is no longer a reach for silence, it's a process of settling into the natural quiet that's always found, easily, as if I'm finally coming home. And I am...

it's been here all along. 

~

Peace, Eric