Halasana

 Halasana:

there are a few poses that have always been difficult for me to perform, most of these asanas, through diligent practice, I’ve been able to work through and reach a point where I am at least satisfied with my ability to hold them. A few poses, I have set aside, no longer including them in my practice, believing their benefits being less than the amount of work I wish to invest in them. Or at least that’s what I tell myself. The plow pose, Halasana has been one of those, although I’ve paid it a cursory use as a stretch, not being mindful of form, and quickly moving through it without commitment as a practice. Yet now I find myself drawn to it for that very reason, realizing that there’s been a certain amount of fear present for me here, a deep presence held through my next and spine that refuses to release me in this postures full expression.

and I’ve decided to work with this.

or maybe more truly,

I’ve been drawn to release this fear.

it seems strange to me that I’m able to perform Sarvangasana, should-stand, without fear or difficulty, even from my earliest days of yoga, almost immediately holding the pose with strength and confidence. Yet to lower my legs behind my neck from this position invokes a sense of unease, my spine locked in inflexibility that isn’t present in any other pose. I’m just unable to fully commit to it, at least not in its proper form, and being unsatisfied with this only feed into the anxiety and causes me to release holding it through to finish.

fear.

I’ve been afraid of working with halasana.

and this is absolutely fine, perfect really, as now it truly becomes a practice. I’m committed to working with this fear, not just through it, or seeking to conquer it in anyway. But to befriend it, seeking to know its presence in my body and listen to what’s been hidden here for all these many years. The practice of yoga, true practice, is one of patience, a slow process of discovering secrets of the body/mind.

I’m committed to this asana.

for now, halasana is my complete practice, everything else letting up to it as a helpful aid of focus and attention. I’m not seeking to master this pose, I’m not at all interested in perfection, but to only understand the secret that it holds, a wish to befriend the fear that’s present in my body and allow it to be expressed in a more meaningful way.

halasna is now my practice.

until I finally hear it’s message.

~

Peace, Eric