Another Kind of Challenge

Another kind of challenge: 

much of my yoga practice is now centered around relaxation, postures that bring a deep rest to the body such as savasana (corpse pose) and balasana (child's pose) - the sequences of poses is designed for effort of a longer held asana, or a series of asanas, followed by some time spent in complete relaxation. It's quiet a change for me as much of my background is based on motion, strenuous activity, and even my previous yoga routine was based upon a physical effort all the way though. Really, it's another kind of challenge, one of least effort, similar to my practice of mantra meditation, where stress is reduced to a proper position of holding a pose and then completely letting go into whatever the breath and body then offers. It's a beautiful style of practice, classical Hatha Yoga, ancient. 

exactly what I need right now. 

what I've discovered is the deep grief my body has held for so long, an accumulation of sorrow, from my mother's long decline through Alzheimer's until her death, divorce, and then caring for my father as he passed away at home - years of stress stored through the fibers of my body, unexpressed even as I believed that I was grieving fully. It seems the body stores this kind of energy, knitted through muscle and all the way to bones and deeply into cells. Through this yoga practice my body is tensed through a particular asana and then allowed a chance to process the exertion, a counter balance, and so much is released through this period if relaxation. It's deeply restful, and yet also scary in a way. I know that my body is now able to release decades of stored emotion, freely expressing the scars brought by the sorrows of a lifetime. I'm not sure I'm always ready for what's just beneath the surface, the next layer that's released to be examined in the light of new awareness. 

it's another kind of challenge. 

and exactly what I need right now. 

~

Peace, Eric