Mostly

mostly, I just surrender to the process, not planning any writing theme until I reach the page and then simply waiting for words to come, being surprised at what unfolds. It's joyful writing, but at times there's still a bit of apprehension, even after so many years of this surrender. In some ways it's certainly easier to have a plan, an outline of specific intent to start the writing off and provide a sense of direction. Yet even as I consider this I'm struck by how little control life actually provides me in any endeavor. 

indeed, mostly life is all a surrender.

really, it's mostly about faith. 

faith isn't a word I use often, it's not a reoccurring theme for me to write of - it's generally heard as a religious term, having faith in a higher power to guide our steps through life. I guess it's easier in a sense to turn control over to a source that is regarded as superior to us in every way, having faith that we are supported in every endeavor. At the same time, there's belief that we've been granted free will and that we determine our own destination. That's a curious paradox, never quite explained in many religious texts, but having struck closest to me in description by the Bhagavad Gita quote (2:47) "You have the right to work, but never to the fruit of work. You should never engage in action for the sake of reward, nor should you long for inaction." The Gita continues sage advice and urges us to consider that work done with anxiety is inferior to any task performed with calm and ease, that our actions are surrendered to Brahma alone and rewards are offered through his grace. 

this is a faith I understand. 

and mostly as I consider Brahma to simply be another term for life, a name given for the process of living, dynamic and continuous. It's what I surrender to, writing is the process of life being given my own unique expression, a flower's bloom for a certain moment on a sunlit page. My every expression is momentary, a chance occurrence of words and inspiration being met at my location, my only real talent being of timing and consistency of appearing daily to receive whatever words are offered. Yes, mostly, I surrender to the process of Brahma, writing for the sake of words themselves, serving their expression. It's a faith in which I understand completely, though still with some apprehension of it's everyday appearance. This too, it seems, is in process of surrender. 

~

Peace, Eric