Of Strength and Love

Of strength and love: 

today marks the eleventh anniversary of my mother's death due to complications of Alzheimer's along with a fractured hip that accelerated the process in just the matter of a few days. Along with my father and my siblings I was one of her caregivers, fortunate to have the time and energy to help my dad with this and fulfill his wishes of keeping my mother home for as long as possible, comfortable and at peace. For the most part we succeeded with this, although it certainly took a toll on my father, emotionally and health, as he suffered a stroke a few years into her care. It's amazing how quickly he recovered from his stroke, regained his strength and immediately took control of her care again. A lesson of strength and love, true care, that's impossible for me to forget and brought a resolve to my years of caring for my dad in his later years. I became a better person caring for my mother, following my father's example of patience, tenderness, and holding steady to the importance of not forgetting the person suffering due to Alzheimer's, that my mother, his wife, was still and always present, not defined by her disease, and the depth of love and respect in our relationship would remain unaltered through this storm of loss.

and indeed, Alzheimer's is a disease of loss.

to write of my mother's final years, of my role as caregiver, will always bring to mind my own healing, how our relationship turned to one of finding true value of another. Through guarded years and emotional distance we arrived at a place of vulnerability, for myself as well as my mother, no longer able to view her through the lens of grievance, we both surrendered to the present moment, of care without conditions, free of any past concerns and hurt. Again, a lesson of strength and love, my mother's point of surrender, trusting in my care, vulnerable and yet with insight and faith of a tenderness returned to her, seeing me more truly now than ever before. I hope I never let her down. 

of strength and love, my mother eleven years gone, and now my father too, and this is what they gave me, lasting into the very moment of this reflection...

of strength, and only love. 

~

Peace, Eric