Stay With This

Stay with this:

to stay with this, and it's all I ask of myself, that right now I am aware and that it's noted, presence of a sort, I guess, as really nothing else is found but this, no boundaries that declare awareness has beginning nor end. 

just this.

aware.

anything else would be speculation on my part and provides no real meaning to be anyway. I have no idea if it's the chemicals in my brain reacting in a way that gives cause to the source of this awareness. Nor do my admittedly biased views of panpsychism hold ultimate sway. It really doesn't matter, to me at least, not being scientist nor philosopher, I have no position to stake or defend in this debate. My insight is always of the present moment, that right now I'm aware, no, not really so, I say this more for the sake of convenience, as truly on examination there's no one here to claim this awareness as their own. 

there's only being.

aware.

this.

to stay with this, being aware of a self appearing, noting too it's absence, and without need for it to be anything other than it is right now. I have no reason to believe that this awareness continues after the functions of my brain cease in working order. This could all be a chemical reaction for all I truly know. It amazes me that life could deliver awareness in this way, that I am hardwired for awakening, my nature being so perfect and precise to behold the world this way. It's a miracle of DNA, evolution, and even the physics involved to create such a structure of elegance and energy. 

and yet,

this could all continue too in some way, awareness lasting beyond my personal value, measured not by my own view, but that I'm merely a momentary content within a greater capacity still, an aware aspect of the whole. I am amazed by the intimacy of it all, that I only know of what appears within awareness, so immediate, near, seamless. This is exactly where I belong, here, able to note myself at once as both appearance and that which knows it as the view, again being intimate beyond compare. More truly and deeply seen, this is a singular arising, capacity being just as miraculous as all it holds, one thing alone, and only. 

to stay with this, aware, allowing all ideas of self and non-self to come and go, simply present, empty, and yet somehow full as well. It needs no explanation, no claim of priority or lasting value. I'm aware, or something far larger than me is aware and allows for my appearance, an aspect of its greater hold. Truly, I have no idea, and all I ask of myself is to stay with this, not knowing, demanding no answers, and giving no belief to anything this present moment doesn't hold. 

it's enough to just find myself aware,

~

Peace, Eric