Showing Up

Showing up:

my only true talent is showing up, and that's really it, every morning, early as I can manage, I approach my meditation bench with the same reverence that I did more than twenty five years ago - and my day begins here, with a commitment to sit and let the world find me exactly as I am, not seeking to change, and yet honest to faults and blessings alike. 

this same talent for showing up extends to my writing, actually a continuation of my meditations, and again it's the words that find me, as I am content to sit before an empty screen, patient to a routine that always follows, ideas forming through the morning silence, words appear, writing happens. My only role it to show up and allow the process to play it natural course. I am not a writer, nor a seeker in any true way, life occurs, words get written, awakening happens, and all completely on their own. I'm simply fortunate to be present. 

of course I cultivate skill, nourishing a certain sense of artistry, and apply it all as needed. But even this has an energy of its own, a rhythm that finds me at just the perfect time, without willful action on my part. There is no attempt to write better, nor to meditate any deeper, or longer than the day before, there's no striving to awaken - moment by moment, whatever needs to find me readily appears, and always exactly where I am, here, now, with nowhere else to ever be. 

if it all sounds too easy, it is. 

yet none of this means I'm always happy, sorrow find me here as easily any blessing, and there's no reason, nor order to how they may appear. But that's just how life happens, the price paid for showing up, and through the years, from luck and mostly grace, equanimity appears too, giving room to my response with equal measure to reactions that seem less fitting. What I've learned is that everything belongs, and this includes whatever mistakes are made, regrets that I may feel, sorrow, all the things that make me human, alive, and open to their arrival. 

none of this is mine to choose.

and this is showing up, a true talent of simply being present, natural, and without pretense of being anything other than what this moment holds. My best term for this is capacity, that I am allowing by my very nature, we all are, and it's the easy grace of talent, our means of living in the present moment. We all show up, everyday, the first capacity of early morning, allowing ourselves to be filled by the worlds arrival. 

whatever that may be. 

~

Peace, Eric