By First Word

By first word: 

usually by first word, it's something given, and writing flows from there - I seldom have a theme to write of, nothing really as a project to consider. Writing is a spontaneous act for me, for everyone really, if we trace the origin of ideas we find nothing but surprise, that there was a point of grace where something, thoughts, a theme, words, revealed themselves from absolutely nowhere, and only later do we claim them as our own. 

truthfully though, it's all given. 

writing is a favorite topic of mine, and I seem to return to it often as a theme. It's fascinating how words appear and offer themselves as clues to a larger mystery yet to unfold. To this point, I still have no idea of what's to come here, hints have been given, and a theme is developing, but I am kept in mystery to the end, each word a revelation on the page. 

seeing this is so has freed me from the grip of certain writing fears, an empty page had become the hold of expectations, and my role was to fill it completely with clever words and phrases. There was always varying degrees of anxiety present to my morning, knowing that the page waited and not yet inspired to commit myself to writing. There was nothing to tell, no words given because I believed myself to be sole author of  anything to appear. I waited for epiphanies without realizing that everything is revealed by grace, spontaneous and freely given. 

every moment is inspired.

my own epiphany arrived in similar fashion, just as easy and spontaneous as every word that's now appearing - there was the usual dread before the emptiness of the page, anxiety of having nothing yet to say, and then an unexpected silence, a pause before thoughts began again. It was the pause that did it, a somehow moment of revelation...that there is where words arrive from, silence, every thought begins from here and they're all completely independent of my control. From that moment on I was no longer truly a writer, but a participant to the act of writing. My expectations were replaced by the delight of anticipation, of not knowing when words would appear, what secrets they would hold, but certain of my place within this mystery.  I was free from my role as author, nothing expected of myself but to show up to the keyboards each morning, eager to be revealed as surely as the word themselves. 

and usually by first word, that's the secret, that there's always more to follow, my own revelation continues too every morning, epiphany followed by epiphany, grace always found by letting go of my own presumed authority of any situation. By first word I know to pause, trusting silence now, not forcing my opinion, allowing mystery to unfold. This is my agenda, or better said that I am part of this agenda, an aspect of this writing process that still sometimes believes himself in charge. But usually, by first word, I am surrendered completely to the mystery of what will soon follow, eager for my own revelation to be shown as words, as well as the silence of their hold. 

each word, an epiphany shown by grace. 

~

Peace, Eric