A Deeper Healing

A deeper healing: 

I've been sleeping in a bit lately, just an extra half or or so in bed to make up for the preceding weeks of sleep nights that seemed to haunt me. Even now my slumber is less than optimal, not the same struggle as before but the quality hasn't yet been restored. Nor has the original cause been addressed, a few more upcoming appointments and maybe they'll be some answers.

regardless, 

a deeper healing has begun.

what I've noticed about sleeping in is the guilt that seems to follow. I'm compressing time while laying in bed, setting my self-created schedule off by what seems a large degree. I feel guilty. Amazingly, this is all my own work flow, I've no one to report to, and few things that actually require a firm commitment. Yet I've conditioned myself so thoroughly to a routine that there's a self-induced pressure to confirm to my own made up schedule. My day feels a bit more rushed now, compromised in a way. And all because of a much needed extra 30 minutes in bed. 

of course it has nothing to do with sleep.

it's about guilt.

my guilt.

already present and in mind.

and so here the real healing begins - forgiveness practiced just before bed, letting go of anything that might linger through my sleeping hours. And any hour that I might awaken through the night is a moment to first be  grateful for any sleep at all, followed again by forgiveness for whatever it is that caused me to awaken. My first thoughts each morning are gratitude and forgiveness, a wish to wipe the slate of the previous day clean and start this one completely open and ease. 

it's truly forgiveness 24/7 now.

a deeper healing at play.

so I'm mindful of those extra minutes in bed, and more so of the feelings they induce. That's the benchmark, a bellwether for my healing. Can I offer myself just a bit of much needed kindness without a backlash of guilt to follow? 

I don't know.

forgiving myself for that as well.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: Ask

Also, please visit to buy: A Course in Miracles

Thank you.