Loneliest Hour

Loneliest hour: 

 preferring the silence of the morning, early on, and it seems there's so little movement of the world - there's about an hour here, perhaps a little more, a stretch between waking and my last written word, a holy time for me, cherished. This is the loneliest hour, only mystics are awake, shamans, writers, and it's chosen for just that reason, having a sense of being truly alone and able to listen as the world stirs itself alive. The feeling of loneliness is undervalued, not often explored as we're afraid to spend any length of time without conversation, confronted by our own internal silence that comes to be known. I am alone at this hour, but not in anyway deserted, not forsaken of any company at all, in this loneliest hour there is the deep conviction of there only being a singularity of existence - I am alone with all the world. 

in this loneliest hour...

I am alone with you. 

and that's why this is truly the holiest of time, sacred hours, an aloneness that holds everything together in a certain way. Right now I can listen to a silence that seems near absolute, my thoughts are sparse, few enough to pass with such slight notice and concern. There is a greater conversation going on now, the entire universe speaking through every particle of my existence, calling to me as a forgotten constellation, lost, and my body responds, each cell stirs with ancient memories, that once I truly belonged to the stars, having cosmic origins, and that I am still at home here, even as dust to my original glory. 

yes, this stirs my loneliness, awakening memories so deeply hidden that only my cells remember now, the essence of my body yearning to rejoin its original self amongst the stars. Yet it also reminds me of the depth of this aloneness, that there is one thing only, being alone because there is really nothing other than the completeness of this existence, just this...

and in this loneliest of hours,

I remember. 

~

Peace, Eric