First Step

First step: 

the first step is about honesty, admitting that we are powerlessness over our present situation and giving cause to our surrender - it's also often the most difficult step to take in a recovery program. We are long conditioned to believe in our own personal power and having complete control over all aspects of our lives. Admitting that we are powerless, even over an addiction, doesn't seem to fit within the strictness of this framework. But the truth is that we have little power, less that we could possibly imagine, and surrender to a higher power is really the only viable option if we wish to live an awakened life. 

and to be awake is to be free. 

to be truly free is to realize that there is no higher power separate from ourselves and that our surrender is really and only to the flow of life. That's it, the first step is admitting that we are powerless and have little real control over how our lives unfold. It's scary. It's also not what we believe, we've spent a lifetime navigating our lives in a particular direction, choosing a preferred path, and having a sense of control over our destiny. But of course this is all reaction and response, not true power, but simply a slow careen of life events that we react to. We're powerless here, life's in charge, and the great discovery is that we're alive, an aspect of life itself and have always been surrendered in its flow. 

that's our higher power.

the first step is to simply be alive.

we've got that covered.

how does this free us from addiction? 

it doesn't, not really, it just frees us from the illusion of control, gives us pause and a moment to relax and reconsider our position. The first step allows us to be broken and yet also realize that every jagged piece of our existence is held within a spacious whole. That's how we heal, accepting ourselves as we are and allowing life to provide it's own solution. This isn't abdicating action, nor denying responsibility of our present situation. It's surrender to our higher power, the first step and the last one too that need be taken. I have no idea on how to heal, and certainly no advice on how to treat addiction - what worked for me is my path alone. But it started with surrender, admitting that I was powerless over not just my addiction but with every aspect of my life as well, and with that life provided options. They were there all along, yet I was unable to see them, believing too much in my control and the illusion of my power. 

the first step is about honesty, 

and with that...life provides the answers. 

~ 

Peace, Eric