A Calming Pose

A calming pose: 

a few months ago I wrote of balasana, child's pose, and the near panic it would often initially induce, a strong sense of restriction of breath, followed by a lasting anxiety through its duration. It also relieves my back pain. So I find myself committed to the pose, not just for the pain relief, but to work through the anxiety that sometimes shows, settling in and breathing softly to that edge of panic, simply allowing myself to be present to whatever unfolds -

emerging safely to the other side. 

oddly, child's pose is said to be calming. I have no idea why it might be a trigger for such a powerful emotional response. There is something that seems to rebel as I settle into the asana, not always, most often it truly is a calming pose, yet occasionally the opposite occurs and I find myself faced with a strong sense of anxiety. Since I first wrote of this I've worked steadily with balasana, not to induce this reaction and try to navigate my way through it, but to just see what it offers with each session on the mat. Most often it's a calming pose, soothing, easing tension in my mind and back, and only occasionally does anxiety beckon. 

usually just the edge.

my breath guides me through the experience, it's not used intentionally, at least not at first, but observing the shallowness of my breathing, higher in the chest, restricted. This is what I have to work with, the present moment of my experience - it's not a story yet, it isn't called anything at this point, anxiety doesn't exist, there's only the breath right now, guiding me through what's present. 

and I trust my ability the breathe. 

with this I find myself settling into breath and posture, nothing purposely done, I'm not altering the experience in any way. Just allowing, that's all, allowing what is and being mindful as it shifts in patterns of breath and energy, how my thoughts seem to follow along with these subtle changes. Everything settles on its own, breath and body ease into a truly calming pose. 

my only role is trusting the deep wisdom of the body.

allowing the pose to simply happen. 

~

Peace, Eric