Commitment

Commitment: 

my yoga practice can really be split between the poses that come relatively easily to me and those that present a clear challenge to their performance. There are many asanas, even some that may seem difficult at first glance, that just naturally suit my body and strength and I am able to hold them with a certain strength and balance. Of course there are many more that simply defy my best and every effort and these are the ones that take the most commitment, as well as offering the biggest payoff for my investment. The difficult postures are a great challenge, not only to perform, but to commit to everyday, coming to each practice knowing that there will be moments beyond my present strength,  and perhaps I'll fail to even reach the grace I held yesterday for just the briefest moment. It's not that these asanas are the most advanced ones - it's that they're difficult, for whatever reason, for me to perform. 

these are the ones of my commitment. 

and then there is dandayamana dhanurasana, standing bow pose, a unique combination of my strengths and every weakness, a balancing posture that requires a certain fearlessness in its commitment. I will most definitely fall from its peak position, overextending and reaching just a moment too long, or holding it past the point of my current strength and balance. But not always, this is my favorite pose because of its combination of being difficult for me and at the same time, playing uniquely to my strengths. I am able to give myself fully to this pose, a deep commitment, unafraid of fall or failure. 

standing bow is at once the pose of my strength and greatest challenges.

what I find is that it's right before I fall from this asana that reach a momentary grace, balancing, not an achievement, but a suspension of the gravity of doubt and any previous failure. This just and only this moment of grace strength held however briefly. To commit fully to this pose every risk but be accepted as a clear and ready possibility, and then dismissed to its practice. There's no success here, nothing achieved, it's greater than any sense of value or measure. It's also less. 

nothing really,

it's only a moment, a yoga pose, one, that fully holds my surrender as well as deep commitment. Briefly now,  perhaps for just an instant, there is a sure and certain strength...

and even the proceeding fall belongs in the perfect order of it all. 

grace.

~

Peace, Eric