Even Earlier

Even earlier: 

lately, I have to wake up even earlier than usual to catch a few soft moments of quiet before the day begins with noise. There's just enough time to meditate and prepare my coffee, maybe write just a word or two in the brief and precious silence of the morning. I live with someone who is attached to sound, television on first upon rising, loud, repeats of the same shows they've watched for years. It's a recent thing for him, waking up so early, and for a length of time I've had these hours left alone, undisturbed, taking for granted the stillness that blankets the house so softly. 

so I wake even earlier now, catching a head start on the quietness the morning offers. Yet I find that I still miss the silence of the predawn hours, the entire stretch of time from my waking to that first hint of light to touch the sky. Those are sacred hours, holy in every tradition, and not meant to be disturbed with unnecessary sound. I often find myself wondering why anyone would wish to disturb this time, it's such a profound energy that seems to be absorbed completely to the bone, urging both mind and body to be still, and further, deeper, the soul stirs from its long slumber, joyfully awakening in these quiet hours. I'm at a lost as to how anyone could miss this alchemical effect of silence, and I suspect that perhaps it isn't lost on anyone, not really, and this it  explains the quickness of turning on sound, distracting oneself from being confronted by the holiness of a silent morning. 

not everyone is ready for a quiet mind. 

it took me years to be ready for this as well, my morning meditation often put off until I had a proper start to my day, readying myself  with my own distractions. Silence does indeed confront you, overwhelming in its embrace, scary in that it feels like a possibility that it will erase us completely so, nothing left but the loneliness of our true presence. With just a hint of this at first, and I found myself curious, somehow growing less afraid of what might be found within the depth of silence Waking even earlier, well before any distraction had a chance to catch hold - and I gave myself entirely to these hours, my fear replaced with a growing sense of love, a suspicion that I belonged here, fully, and that this presence is my true and only home. 

it now seems that I hoard these hours, guarding their holiness, protecting the silence of my own soul and mind. But of course I don't really have to, these are my qualities, ours, and the morning is just our true reflection. Silence simply embraces every sound, nothing excluded, returning exactly to it's original peace, forever undisturbed. That's the secret that the morning offers - reality, the soft truth of our acceptance, a sure sense that everything belongs after all. 

nothing really has to be guarded...

yet still, 

I find myself waking even earlier than before. 

~

Peace, Eric