Aliveness

Aliveness: 

and right now I'm no longer really sure of any certain insight, revelation, or idea that at one time opened me to an entirely new understanding of who and what I really am - it's not that I dismiss any previous insight as being false and leading me astray from what seems true to me now, but that life doesn't hold any concept as a certainty, nothing is absolutely so from the point of mystery, and all I can ever truly know is my own sense of aliveness, of being aware for just this moment alone, with nothing sure and certain beyond this. I think this is why I'm drawn to early morning meditation, as well as to the inquiry of my own spacious nature that seems to happen spontaneously through the day. These moments of clear meditation and inquiry hold no philosophies for me to understand, there are no concepts of duality, nor beliefs of anything being separate and apart from me.

there's just life, happening.

aliveness.

of course this is always so, independent of a moments inquiry or mediation - yet I enjoy both for what they offer, and how it seems that this quiet acceptance of life spreads from that singular point of my attention to an underlying awareness that's existing all the time, always available, only waiting for my notice. It's all part of this aliveness, ordinary and at once miraculous, everything belonging precisely so, perfect, and that life could never be other than it is right now. Until it is, and then this too, whatever it is the moment now holds, is simply part of this aliveness. 

that's how life happens.

or so it seems to me, and my every previous insight and belief fits in perfectly with the moment of its revelation, a truth for that point alone and not meant to be anything other. There is no need to make a philosophy of any of this, to make any idea permanent in belief, certain. There is only this aliveness, dynamic, ongoing in mystery and its revelation. Even these words seek to turn it into an experience, something to be described and not absolutely lived right now. 

there is only, always, this aliveness.

~

Peace, Eric