Third Rung

Third rung: 

it's that third rung on the ladder of prayer, still with some hesitation, but yes, climbing towards complete surrender of my own small requests and asking only for the will of God. I love the metaphor of this ladder, a progression laid out that seems to display the entire journey through A Course in Miracles. My initial foray into the Course was seeking a better life, or at least what I believed I truly wanted. My prayers were to gain the comforts of all the things I thought would make me happy. That's the first rung of the ladder, and it's not long after that we take the second, offering prayers for others, having a heartfelt response to those who suffer. In the beginning this is still selective, giving concern only to those I felt deserving. I'm not sure how long this selective period lasted before it deepened to a more inclusive prayer. But I'm grateful that I eventually learned how to release the idea of an enemy through my practice. This is such an artful design, that I pray for my own release of guilt through seeking peace, sharing this mutual goal, and letting go of ego's exclusive nature. 

and now, 

so it seems...that third rung appears.

my prayers are naturally shifting towards surrender, asking mostly for the courage to go of fear and to place my trust in God's will. I am not firm on this rung, hesitant, fearful that the needs I have will not be met. But I'm praying, asking to gain the trust I most truly need. I feel equal in fear and faith right now, often uncomfortable, and seeking better to balance myself upon this still unstable rung. 

and yet,

there's also a great sense ease here, 

let's call it grace.

with every little letting go, surrendering doubts almost as quickly as they appear - my grip grows stronger and sure on this ladder, with a growing feel of balance on this rung, and gaining a sense of security I've never felt before. It's still a hesitant step. 

but it's been taken.

and of course...there's one more rung to go.

~

I love you, Eric 

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: Right at The Beginning

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Thank you.