Arrogance

Arrogance: 

for the first time ever I am dealing with chronic pain over an extended period, months now of a lower back issue that goes beyond the ache of overdoing something. This most likely stems from an injury occurring long ago, 30 plus years now, and never properly treated, the arrogance of youth allowing me to continue onward though even more damage through the years. I'm not smart, but I'm consistent. Generally I have been able to treat my back with gentle yoga, mobility, and in a day, two at most, it's always been better and ready for whatever workouts I wish to do. Yet it's been months now without let up, and the culprit this time is the very thing I've always sought to heal me. 

yoga. 

of course yoga's not to blame, it was the arrogance of middle age that caused me push past the edge of discomfort into pain. I took my practice to the extreme, no longer so gentle, focusing on duration of postures over comfort, pursuing the most difficult poses for the promises they might unlock if I only endure a little longer. It was foolish - as I am often. Even after all these years. 

but it's yoga that's healing me now too. 

my practice has been rearranged, seeking the gentle healing of its promise and no longer pushing to that edge of pain. The arrogance of my mind has been replaced with the wisdom of my body, an intuitive voice within each cell that urges me to be kind, easing into poses that best suit its healing process. I'm learning to listen, finally, and this allows me to explore asanas that offer deep insights in their hold. One of which right now is Malasana, Garland post, or sometimes called the yoga squat. This is a pose that I sink into, settling down to a full squat position, spine extended, hands in prayer position and pressed against my heart as the elbows push the hips apart. 

it's a beautiful pose.

gentle.

slowly relieving months of pain. 

more so, Malasana returns me to earth, grounding, a focus on the root chakra and the benefits of this connection. In my return to basics, laying my arrogance aside, I find pleasure in the feel of asanas that call for the simplicity of  being still, settling in to the energetic joy of this root expression. The main lesson for me is that healing isn't necessarily a pursuit, it's a momentary process extended overtime, small things that allow the wisdom of my body to be heard. 

certain asanas will call to me.

an intuitive, healing whisper/ 

and arrogance aside...

I've finally learned to listen. 

~

Peace, Eric