My Potential

My potential: 

I've come to to truly love the emptiness of the screen, an empty page, and the promise that it now holds for me. Once there was some anxiety caused by its appearance, an expectation that I was to write something of particular meaning, or express a beautiful flow of words. But that's no longer so, at least not entirely, as I always hold out hope that something meaningful will follow, and that my words will have a certain quality of  beauty - the emptiness itself though, that's no longer a concern. Words will come to me in the time they're ready, no hurry, I'm patient, willing to embrace my own emptiness as well as what's offered by the screen. There is nothing here but my potential...

waiting to be filled. 

two things have changed for me, the first was starting meditation, decades ago, and its practice has freed me creatively, allowing me to simply trust and surrender to the ebb and flow of words. I no longer consider myself to be the sole authority on what's to be expressed here, and I will wait for the perfect phrase of words to find me without concern for exactly when that might be. The second change was the realization that came by seeing myself as capacity, a beautiful word as applied to both my own inherent emptiness as well as the infinite hold of my potential, being at once the promise of an empty page and its fulfillment through the appearance of words, beauty, and meaning. Writing happens through emptiness, an occurrence of words and phrases, ideas, and it's capacity that allows for their arrival, everything that appears is first through me, and this includes the belief that I'm the author of these words. The truth is that each word is spontaneous in its appearance, gifted somehow, and almost instantly received by the emptiness of my potential. 

capacity. 

and so I now see the page as not being truly empty, as it's literally brimming with its own potential for words and beauty, a blank slate provided for any meaning to then follow. The empty screen is the actuality of my potential, a reflection, and whatever spontaneously appears is simply life in its fulfillment. Writing is the pleasure of being alive, serving as capacity...

of seeing my own potential, as well as it's achievement.

instantly, and at once.  

~

Peace, Eric