Promise of Fulfillment

it started as a discipline, a means of achieving the end result of a better life. I began to meditate for the clear benefits that the practice seemed to offer me, a promise of fulfillment that I had read about in countless books and articles on the subject. I've practiced now for almost three decades, and almost every promise of health and emotional well-being has been fulfilled to a certain extent, perhaps in some subtle ways that often escape my daily notice. But here's what I notice, looking back through my years of practice, somewhere along the way meditation ceased to really be a practice, or at least not in any disciplined kind of way. I still call it a practice, as the act itself is more of an art-form, a practice of mantra weaved through an extended period of silence, an approach of stillness settling thoughts and relaxing any tension of my body. It's a practice that happens on it's own now, no longer calling me to action, no real discipline involved - meditation is simply what I'm called to do. 

happily so.

the practice of meditation is an answer to its own promise of fulfillment, it's a paradox in a way, that the action itself is its own achievement, any results are really only the side benefits of sitting for its own sake. I no longer have expectations of practice, I'm not seeking enlightenment nor results of any higher states of consciousness. Whatever happens from my practice is a happy effect of my love for simply sitting still and the soft repetition of the mantra fading to a perfect silence. Anything that comes from this practice is an extra grace, one I'm grateful to receive, but no longer a reason for my sitting. 

somewhere through the years my practiced changed, no longer a discipline, but an eager opportunity to sit in silence, allowing the early morning to emerge through my senses, and again later in the day to feel the world begin to settle down, as if both dawn and dusk occur within me. That's the promise of fulfillment, just allowing the world to be without my interference, that I offer a response from a deep reserve of stillness and not a reaction based upon my every state of mind. I'm happy to sit for the sake of being relaxed in my own presence...and it seems to the world responds in kind. That's enough for me, more so really - it's my promise of fulfillment.  

~

Peace, Eric