Questioning

Questioning: 

it's referred to as the hard problem of consciousness, questioning why some physical matter is found to be conscious while others are not, and to what degree do we believe this to be so - how is it that a tree gains a certain sense of awareness rather than the earth and air of its home? Or that a bird nesting in the tree's branches is even more conscious still? There is much scientific and philosophical debate on this issue, with religion weighing in as well. Of course no answer satisfies all, and really, no answer is offered that is widely regarded as being sure and true. 

some believe it will never be clearly answered and explained. 

it wasn't so long ago that we believed animals weren't truly conscious, even our beloved pets didn't have an inner life but operated purely through behaviorism, simply by instincts long acquired in order to survive. We now know better, or science does, as anyone with a beloved pet knew this all along and never needed it confirmed. There was no questioning involved, ever, only a relationship based solely on an equal love, different yes, expressed through the lens of completely different minds, but still a bond between two very conscious beings. I have two cats and a dog that prove this to me often. To what degree should this love be questioned, how far down do we trust the bond of our connections? 

some consider this a hard problem indeed. 

so can we bring consciousness down to a chemical function? Or is it innate through all matter, a deep function of earth and soul, with the universe itself fully self aware? Another important question is if I'm even qualified to search for answers, is the inquiry purely scientific, meant to be examined and eventually solved only in a lab? My thoughts on this is that I am conscious, self aware, and certainly capable of exploring my own existence, taking inquiry and meditation deeply to the edge of this line of questioning and offering my own views on what it is I've found. 

and this is what I know for certain...

absolutely nothing. 

consciousness is as far as I can go, it's all I'm capable of knowing. 

that's it. 

it's not a hard problem, not for me at least, as it doesn't matter how consciousness arises, through whatever chemical or biological means, my consciousness becomes involved as soon is it's first noted. Somehow, it's all found to be a seamless transition, from nothingness to now-here, alive, and aware. Consciousness is built into the very fabric of the universal structure by virtue of my own self recognition. It's impersonal, only loaned for my brief appearance here, and eventually surrendered. Does it reappear? Is there awareness beyond my individual existence? Yes, but it's not mine, not in anyway that I would recognize as my own - it's just the universe continuing what it's doing, providing the means of its own conscious exploration, evolving, experiencing itself through every possible expression. 

or at least that's my theory. 

beyond my own conscious exploration...

nothing is certain. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Boltzmann Brain

Boltzmann brain: 

in fact anyone of us could be a Boltzmann brain, it's actually more likely than the formation of the universe we know take for granted as our home, and if that's the case we might all be figments of someone else's imagination. It's something to consider. This is topic that fascinates me but is also well beyond my capability to truly understand and my writing will never do the science justice, and honestly I won't even really try to do so - I'm not a science writer after all, thinking of myself as more of a poet, lyrical prose with a spiritual bent being my main consideration. And indeed, if the Boltzmann brain scenario is true, than I am my own best and only audience. 

what it is - is a thought experiment. 

again, I won't be able to do the science justice, but the line of thought suggest that statistically, it is more likely for single brain to spontaneously form in a void, along with its memories of a full and meaningful life, than it is for the universe to have appeared exactly as it seems to have done. That's the Boltzmann brain, named after Austrian physicist Ludwig Boltzmann, and it isn't a theory that cosmologist suggest is likely, even thought the statistics show it certainly could be so, but it's used as a thought experiment to test the line of reasoning within he given laws of thermodynamics. It's here that the science loses me, being to complicated for me to understand let alone write of, mostly concerning entropy, random fluctuations of particles, and heat death of the universe. 

fortunately, I'm not writing about science, or even Boltzmann's brain. 

what I'm here to suggest is that grace plays a role in all of the above, no matter how the universe first appeared, or the likelihood of our existence - we are here now, reality supports us even if we're a Boltzmann brain that spontaneously came to be, false memories and all, we're alive in some unique and truly fortunate way. That's the thing with statistics, no matter the chance occurrence, it's always Shiva's game, a roll of dice for an entire universe to present itself or again to disappear, or not exist at all. None of it is for our control, the dice are never in our hands, it's always Shiva's play. 

so with grace in mind, I find myself truly grateful for the life that exist right now, how all the possibilities suggest that none of this should even ever be, and yet somehow, it is, and I am an essential part of it's reality. If I am a Boltzmann brain, than this is all a dream of my existence, an entire universe created just to know myself, and more so, that it's all dreamed to know you. 

I am fortunate indeed. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Holds Everything Together

Holds everything together: 

my interest right now is in what holds everything together, specifically, what is it that draws things like molecules, atoms, particles  to gather in a particular order that becomes the baseline of my existence. This isn't so much a question of science, I understand the attraction and bonding of particles that gives form to atoms, and further on to the chemical bond that creates molecules, well, no, I don't really understand, but I can rely on the information of science to explain it all extremely well, almost to the point of my understanding. Science is wonderful in this detail, through this keen investigation and applying what's been learned we have gained the modern world. 

truly a marvel.

but what is the first cause of this attraction? 

what holds everything together? 

science tells us that there are four fundamental forces of nature, gravity, electromagnetism, the weak nuclear force, and the strong nuclear force. These four forces govern how certain particles and objects will interact and bond with each other, and also the point of their decay, when things will no longer hold a specific form. I won't play scientist here and attempt to explain any of this, it's well beyond my writing skills as well as my ability to understand this concept. It's also not the main area of my interest right now, I'm not concerned so much with scientific details, although fascinating, my thoughts are drawn more towards whatever it is that wishes for these things to bond.

what gives cause to this attraction? 

and by cause I don't mean an explanation of continuous effects to some final point of action, I'm not looking towards science as a philosophical tool to reach an ultimate understanding of the universe. Nor do I believe that religion holds the answer, although all three, science, philosophy and religion give hints as to what might be proven true. Honestly, I'm not so sure there is an understandable answer, at least not in a way that can be formulated to satisfy any of those three branches of thought and investigation. But I think we might know on some deep, deep level, cellular, more so the very particles of our existence, we understand the fundamental force of love. 

it's what holds everything together. 

this isn't a sentimental love, it's not a love between objects, it is the basis for objects to exist, the first cause of every interaction. Fortunately I'm not a scientist and there's no reason for me to provide any proof to support this. It's not really a claim, nor even a theory. But it's also not just mere speculation, going further than that, an investigation into soul, consciousness, our own sense of being and existence. This is the same place where all answer is found, the intuitive voice that whisper theories and equations, inspires great philosophical reasoning and religious stories, giving beautiful ideas to every poet and artist. This is the realm between things, it's the place of their arrival, where first particles come from - it's what holds everything together. 

for lack of any other word that even comes close to its description...

it's love. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Call It Soul

We'll call it soul: 

this is about soul, making a case for it's existence, an argument that some essence, a force, and here we'll call it soul -  holds us to this specific structure of cells, molecules, atoms, particles and further to an absolute void. That somehow, and all from a collection of these infinitesimally small parts swirling through the vast emptiness of the cosmos, we find that we exist, we're aware, and providing some meaning to the world. 

and here, we'll call it soul.

but this isn't a claim of anything ever lasting, not in a personal sense at least, that information is beyond our ken, or it is mine, and I suspect it's a mystery not soon, if ever solved. Mystics call it divine and leave it mostly undefined, without need for details that satisfy the mind. Science, so far, has no use for it, being barely a consideration and leave it to philosophers and theologians to ponder. And for them it's mostly theories, speculation, stories. It's the mystics and yogis that fascinate me, their deep dive within this impersonal mystery for information the defines them as a person, more so, that hints of what they truly are beyond the limits of personality and body. 

they're exploration of the soul. 

science tells us that their are four fundamental forces of nature, this is what holds the world together, governing everything that happens in the universe. There is gravity, weak force, electromagnetism, and the strong force. This is a fascinating collection of forces, and the science is way past my limited understanding and ability to describe. It amazes me the secrets that science has uncovered, continuing to do so, and yet still never arriving to a reason why - we simply have no idea why the universe arranges itself in such a fashion that we find ourselves alive, aware, and participating in its story. Mystics and science agree that this all a mystery. 

but here...we'll call it soul. 

without need of qualifications or description. 

it's enough to be alive, aware, existing by this grace of mystery. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Not Chasing

Not Chasing: 

meditation offers many gifts and the questions that's often asked, in some circles anyway, is if awakening is one of these gifts, does it lead to an ultimate letting go of an ego dominant belief system that seems to rule our world - does meditation bring us to enlightenment? The ancient yogis who first sat in meditation certainly believed so, to be liberated from Samsara, the endless wheel of life, death, and the suffering in between was to be the end result of their practice. My own thoughts are a bit more aligned with the Zen Master Dogen, who likened meditation itself to awakening, an expression of our innate Buddha nature already found present in the very fabric of existence. Mostly though, I'll leave it to others to debate the issue, it doesn't really matter much to me as I'm not chasing liberation. 

meditation is simply a joy to me.

it was actually my practice that brought an end to any pursuit of awakening, not that I abandoned it in any formal sense, or achieved anything that caused me to consider myself enlightened. Truthfully, it was just no longer a point of interest, meditation engaged in deeply, the joy of sitting and the creativity that followed were and are enough for me. As Dogen claimed, the moment of my sitting was enlightenment itself, there was no concerns other than breath and mantra and even these were eventually let go to the simplicity of just being who I am. 

completely so. 

really, enlightenment was never really my goal, I'm not chasing liberation, nor interested in debating the merits of my practice. Meditation has many gifts to offer but only to those who have an interest to discover them and not everyone is called to do so. There are other means to open some of these gifts, breathwork for stress reduction, cultivating a sense of gratitude to help us appreciate the present moment a bit more, journaling to foster the flow of creativity and bring insight to our lives. Meditation is just one means to realize these gifts, they're by-products to my sitting. 

but the true gift is simply the joy of meditation. 

it's here, sitting, mantra softly let go, breath barely a whisper past my lips, and there is no issue of pursuit, no sense of chasing liberation, just the joy of sitting, there's not even a trace of anyone actually meditating - only presence found...

 with no one here to claim it. 

~

Peace, Eric 

All of It's A Story

All of it's a story: 

and did it actually happen, did the Big Bang really occur exactly as scientist say? How about atoms and particles, and even smaller things such as quarks and the vibrations of infinitesimally tiny strings that bring the entire universe into existence - do they exist? Or is it all just a story told of creation, another myth only with a scientific understanding and credentials? I'm not a science denier, not even a little, I believe in the proven facts presented by scientist through the ages, adding on to theories with growing information, learning more and having their views altered through this process. Yet ultimately, all of it's a story, mainly true, yes, but a story just the same. 

cosmologist Carl Sagan wisely stated that extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, and to say that the biggest ideas in science are simply stories is indeed a bold assertion and I make it without a shred of evidence to back my claim. I'm not a scientist, and I have nothing to prove, offering no theories to counter what science says is true. I believe what credible scientist say and it would be ridiculous for me to argue counter to their claims from my limited point of view. 

still, all of it's a story. 

by this I mean that what's discovered, labeled, charted and presented as scientific facts is simply what's occurring, it's life, fascinatingly shown, but only a glimpse of an infinitely larger reality that's yet to be known. A molecule isn't a thing, it's not a separate entity existing apart from atoms, which in turn consist of particles, and further to the very basic vibrations of creation. We know all of this, and even more, an entire universe mapped out with incredible detail and information. But what we see is parts, items, and we give them names, describe their actions and interactions, assigning them qualities though our language - stories in other words. We tell their stories. 

without these words, with no labels, no stories told, everything happens on it's own, seamlessly, spontaneously, reality simply...is. There's really no such thing as an atom, it's a gathering of other aspects of reality, information given from particles and vibrations and then continued on through molecules and cells. There's no real language to adequately describe this and the best we do is stories and this serves us almost impossibly well, our daily lives so incredibly enriched by what they tell. 

but it's all a story just the same. 

reality itself is seamless, whole, a mystery that's forever told in parts. But it's always expressed, lived, through the simplicity of being, it's what occurring right now, vibrant, without need of any story. It's what we are, seamless, whole, a mystery too. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Transcendence

Transcendence: 

it's transcendence, and every moment holds this grace, just an easy recognition that the world holds more than the present felt reality, a largeness that invites our stay even if only for an instant. We don't transcend the ordinary world, the truth is that it's all extraordinary, magical, changing right before us. What's transcended is our place in the world, our view is traded from looking outwards to a more direct participation, going from a place of insular seclusion to belonging fully to everything that's found. It's simply engaging more deeply with the present moment...

 intimately so.

and mostly it occurs through grace, happening spontaneously on it's own, a glimpse at first and then our view expands as we grow to recognize that all of reality is our true nature, no part excluded. That's how we awaken it seems, suddenly, and yet it's often felt to be in stages, a moment of clear seeing and then a slow expansion of a greater sense of what we truly are.

transcendence.

but ultimately, everything's happening now, at once.

with nothing to transcend.

really this is just a play of words here, thoughts on an indescribable instant arranged in lyrical form, creative licence given for sake of morning's worth of writing. Everything is transcendence in a certain way, nature, reality, a constant motion of particles transcending their vibrational sense to gather as an atom which in turns attracts to others for am even larger state, gathering as form in creation of the world. Some moments we are graced to intuitively know this, deeply so, a transcendence of small beliefs to a grander of who we are...it's ordinary, happening every moment. 

yet extraordinary, magical, just the same. 

~

Peace, Eric