This Moment

This moment: 

perhaps the real, and only, power of this moment is in simply recognizing the nature of it's allowingness, its fluidity, that it remains when all experiences and events pass. This isn't to imply that the reality of this moment is separate from our actual experience in anyway, life is too seamless for this to be so, and we know from physics that space and time are really an exchange of ideas, one thing really, just a way for us to make organize and makes sense of our world.

this moment itself is all there is. 

that's reality, everything happening at once, and that means all things are really an illusion of items and events, not even existing on their own. Particles don't make atoms, and atoms don't construct a physical universe - they're one thing, atoms are particles, the universe is an expression of atomic structure. There's no sequence of events here, everything happens now. 

and so we see that there's only this moment, right now, and that we're alive with whatever experience is happening, not in anyway separate from these events. We're not mere witnesses to life, not simply an observer here, no, awareness isn't passive at all, it's dynamic, a process of creation and we're participants of reality, an expression too of the universe, of atoms, particles...motion. 

our real power is this motion, life, happening now. This moment is just a way of seeing the continuous activity of creation, it's our own creativity displayed over what seems a course of personal history, a series of events we label a lifetime. But really, it's not ours, it's just life itself, and we belong to the reality of this moment, a creation of temporary design, infinitely expressed, dynamic in display. 

this moment...is what we are. 

~

peace, Eric 

Intelligence

Intelligence: 

there's intelligence here, creative, innate to the universe itself - and I can only liken this to consciousness, being my own only point of reference that applies. The universe is self aware, it knows of it's design and proceeds in evolution, and we belong to the very fabric of its plan. The universe is God, all of it, from least speck of cosmic dust to our own display of life. 

everything is God. 

the great cosmologist Carl Sagan famously said that extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, and to claim that everything is God surely should be backed by an argument beyond my faith. But truthfully, I have no real argument to make, no need to debate this issue to prove my point is right. I'm not a scientist, nor a theologian, my faith isn't of anything that needs proof to be provided. What I am is simply part of life, a self-ware aspect of an even greater expression of consciousness. I am witness to my own  innate intelligence function as a body and something larger too, that my heart beats without any direct effort of my will, breath drawing from an infinite source of air, sun and earth aligned just so for my life to thrive. 

my extraordinary proof is being alive. 

and this isn't offered as a claim of God's existence, that's just a term I use, poetic preference, and these are just words to note my own cosmic wonder. Somehow, the universe created me, made from scratch really, every particle arranged from infinite sources. Some scientist make the bold claim of random events developing to the point of consciousness, our own awareness, a pinnacle of achievement without deign or plan. My one claim isn't quite so bold, extraordinary, yes, but not without the required proof for me to show - everything needed to exist was provided for me without demand, life itself gave me all the ingredients for body and mind, an entire universe was arranged with intelligent care for me to recognize myself within this intricate design. 

that's God...

my own life displayed as proof and wonder. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Been Given

Been given: 

that its all been given, unasked for, an entire universe provided as a gift - I'm continuously amazed by my surroundings, the life that I have, that I exist at all even. It's all a miracle, everything, and I have caused none of it to happen, having been given spontaneously, so freely and abundantly to my every care. Life is indeed a miracle. 

let's consider the sun, placed perfectly in its distance from earth, being just the right size for its purpose, it's temperature not a fraction more than needed, bright enough to illuminate our entire world. We never ask for light, it's been given to us along with the infinite gifts depending on its touch. Our oceans are warmed to a life sustaining degree, plants are nourished by the sun's rays, the earth's atmosphere affected in ways that produce wind and rain. All from the sun's touch, even its gravitational pull keeps the earth in orbit at the exact distance needed for all of this to be so perfectly arranged.

sun light's been given, freely, and there's life because of this. 

each morning while preparing breakfast, I give thanks to everything that I trace back to the sun's touch, with fruit ripened to the right point of being offered, berries picked beneath it's rays, oats harvested from a sunlit field. I am nourished by the sun, fed by its light, having been given this exact moment to be awake, grateful, and alive. 

yes, it's a miracle. 

the sun, and all that thrives from it's existence....

it's all simply been given. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Math

Math; 

it fascinates me that some deep aspects of reality, a description of the function of the universe, can best be expressed through a mathematical formula. I have little aptitude for math, never progressing far with it in school and through the years after had little appreciate for its use aside from the basics that were needed, and even these were handled with no small amount of struggle. Math doesn't suit me. And yet I find that it expresses me so absolutely well. 

not that I understand it, not even a little bit, it's well beyond what my brain is capable of comprehending. But the mind itself is composed of math, information, performing the actuality of mathematics at a level of perfection. Everything is, effortlessly so, in reality we are mathematical geniuses, constructing the entire concept of a universe from scratch and then participating in its flow of ideas and understanding. It's not that we know we're doing this, not conceptually, and there's no need too, it's simply what we are, it's lived, expressed perfectly so through all we do.

everything. 

really, math is just a language, a way of communicating reality through shape, structures, information and numbers. It exists, and yet it doesn't, not independently so, it's not an actual thing that resides outside of us, again it's a language and we're mathematical creatures, speaking it fluently, effortlessly. It's the language of who we are, constantly expressed through the very fabric of the cosmos. 

and with a single equation an entire universal force can be shown, explained by this mathematical language, comprehended in a deep and meaningful way. That's the power of math, and even more so it's the innate power of what we most truly are, that in reality we are a mathematical expression, a gathering of ideas and information given the illusion of form. We 're not contained by an equation, that's only a symbol of a point within an infinite field of reality. Math provides us an easy name, a useful way of communicating our existence in the vastness of the universe. It's more of a demonstration than an actual explanation, as our ultimate truth remains a mystery without need of being solved. 

we are.

existence itself.

being.

and it's really that easy for us to know.

perhaps math does suit me after all. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Course

Course: 

I've always loved the spiritual text A Course In Miracles, from my first discovery it held a certain promise to me, that this was the way, if only I devoted myself to its page and practice I would reach enlightenment, or at the very least be a happier, more at ease person. It took me years to finally commit to finishing the workbook, completely the daily exercises, reading the entire textbook. This was no easy task, demanding, working diligently to diminish ego's hold on me. After years of starts and putting the exercises aside, and now fully committed to its study, I finished, a monumental year of study and surrender complete.  

and of course everything was just the same.

ego had its hold.

or perhaps maybe a little less so, it doesn't really matter, my ego is less of a concern now, as is enlightenment and showing signs of spiritual progress. That's not really what the Course is about anyway and it seems that even after years of study I had missed the point entirely. Only love is real, there it is, from its opening words the Course sets its agenda clear - the ego isn't the problem, it's simply an appearance, a lens through which we view the world. It's our identifying completely with the ego that leads to a troubled world. 

and so we find ourselves here. 

in a very troubled world. 

I'm no longer a student of the Course, although I often turn to it for inspiration, finding comfort in its words and some of the exercises still. The past few years have brought their own sense of surrender, life happens like that, providing loss and fulfillment without much effort from our part, and we learn from this if we pay attention to its flow. That first important lessons remains clear though, only love is real, and I see that more deeply now, living it in a way that only life delivers, brought here through loss and sorrow, grief, and ultimately the joy of surrendering to it all. 

just life. 

yes, it's a very troubled world, the illusion of power is held by a few who worship control, exploiting the less fortunate to gain even more, destroying the environment, causing irrevocable harm. That doesn't sound like love, it's not the reality that the Course wishes us to show. Is there an answer? A way out of this troubled world? 

honestly, I don't know, it seems doubtful, overwhelming really, too much for me to consider on my own. And yet, I do believe that only love is real, no, more so than a belief, it's a deep faith that life itself is the answer, it's the reality of love in display and practice. Only life is real, it seems obvious, and yet we take it so thoroughly for granted. We don't have to surrender, there's nothing to practice and no spiritual texts to study, unless we wish to, or it brings us joy and a sense of fulfillment in some way. Life provides us with every opportunity to grow, to let go of the past, forgive, to be embraced by the grace and love found only in in this present moment. It's all here, now, a complete course in life, love, and surrender.

perhaps that's the answer, that it's not really a troubled world at all...

it's just life.

and we're still learning how to live it. 

~

Peace, Eric 

To heal: 

 with my father's death just over a year ago, a series of health issues, mostly mild, but adding up to the longest stretch of discomfort and distress in my lifetime, and now added too with Bell's Palsy - it's been a difficult year. As it has for so many of us, economic woes, the pandemic still in play, political division, the violence of mass shootings so frequent now. It's an age of underlying stress, draining us physically, emotionally, spiritually, and carrying on through life as if unaffected by any of this won't provide us with the needed time to heal. 

and we certainly need to heal.

I need to heal. 

writing helps, expressing my concerns, sharing fears, and allowing myself the vulnerability that only true creativity provides, the deepest, most scared part of me revealed through words. Art is indeed therapy, even if it's shared with just a few, or no one at all really, as long as we allow ourselves to be fully expressed, vulnerable in all we offer. 

writing is my needed time to heal.

meditation is beyond my sanctuary, it's my own interior silence shown back to me, an exploration of my quietest point of mind and its spacious nature. It's here that I see that everything belongs, truly so, with no real distinctions made between preference and what occurs, how life flows without concern for my demands, simply offering itself through every possible expression. Meditation is just a moment of this, sitting still, allowing, a much needed time for me to heal. 

and motion...staying current with the world through mind and body, moving, walking, dancing across the landscape with the ease of our belonging here. Nature heals, and it doesn't have to be difficult to be effective, a moment standing in a garden, swaying with the caress of gently offered breeze, a soft and slow walk through woods and fields. Even a breath, drawn fresh and again given back to the sky in gratitude for its value, one breath...it's enough for us to heal. 

these are my means of healing, available to me now, and through their use I hope my own immediate world becomes a little kinder, a more gentle place to be around. 

it's what I have to offer. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Just Sitting

Just sitting: 

it doesn't have to cause anything, nor lead anywhere, it's not a tool for awakening, meditation is simply our own exploration, a moment to moment unfolding of who we are right now. It's the beautiful experience of just sitting quietly, moving ever inward and yet still finding the entire world, the universe, here, exactly where we are. We could call this awakening, Zen master Dogen likened meditation as the display of enlightenment, our inherent truth given show by our commitment to be silent and still. For me, it's just sitting, being, a vibration of mantra playing through a  seamless field of consciousness, a beautiful expression of being who I am, easily so, and there's no need for me to make it anything more than this. 

it's enough, just sitting...

being. 

the question is still often asked if this will lead to awakening, or if enlightenment will soon arrive - and there's really no ready answer for me to offer, there's no concern for that here, no thought given to what this could be called or where it ever leads to. Meditation doesn't hold a promise for something to occur, it's not a process with an end result in mind. It's its own thing, complete by itself, a journey without any destination, no place to be, we've already arrived...

just sitting. 

being who we are. 

for me, meditation is a continuous expression of life, art, a continuous display of what I am through every possible moment, nothing excluded, and that it all somehow appears through that seamless field of consciousness. Thoughts are not distractions here, silence isn't sought after, everything simply and so easily happens without any care or my concern. 

life appears. 

~

Peace, Eric