This Particular Line

This particular line: 

perhaps the most famous and meaningful line from any Buddhist text is from the Heart Sutra, which states that "emptiness is form and that form is emptiness". It's a lovely expression and can be studied for a lifetime to reach its meaning. There is a depth here that pulls me to new levels of realization even after years of giving the text, and this particular line, some serious study. With that said, I won't claim to have any grand revelations to share, no wisdom to offer from my own understanding. Mostly, the Heart Sutra leaves me quiet, deeply so, and without need to speak of any insights gleaned. 

it's all too personal, fragile, to speak of. 

at least for now. 

so my writing is really the perimeter, a continuous line of words surrounding my present understanding of this particular line, a description, but not the actual insight. The truth is, I have nothing to share that would make little difference for anyone to read, as every insight is personal, a revelation for ourselves alone. What matters is how we live it, how our lives become a measure of a growing understanding, each insight being a seed that eventually blossoms to greater fields of joyful living. 

...emptiness is form, and that form is emptiness, this particular line hones in to my sense of joy, of knowing myself as capacity for the emergent world and being settled in the appearance of all that arises, serene even in my sense of grief and loss, being intimate with the briefness that life offers. This particular line reminds me to cherish whatever's brought for me to hold, and yet to grasp it all so very lightly, lightly, as nothing in the appearance of form is ever meant to stay ours for very long. With this, it's seen as well that the lightness of my grasp holds the formlessness of the world, nothing ever truly lost, just the changing of appearance. 

and the insights of this particular line...

continue to unfold. 

~

Peace, Eric 

My Potential

My potential: 

I've come to to truly love the emptiness of the screen, an empty page, and the promise that it now holds for me. Once there was some anxiety caused by its appearance, an expectation that I was to write something of particular meaning, or express a beautiful flow of words. But that's no longer so, at least not entirely, as I always hold out hope that something meaningful will follow, and that my words will have a certain quality of  beauty - the emptiness itself though, that's no longer a concern. Words will come to me in the time they're ready, no hurry, I'm patient, willing to embrace my own emptiness as well as what's offered by the screen. There is nothing here but my potential...

waiting to be filled. 

two things have changed for me, the first was starting meditation, decades ago, and its practice has freed me creatively, allowing me to simply trust and surrender to the ebb and flow of words. I no longer consider myself to be the sole authority on what's to be expressed here, and I will wait for the perfect phrase of words to find me without concern for exactly when that might be. The second change was the realization that came by seeing myself as capacity, a beautiful word as applied to both my own inherent emptiness as well as the infinite hold of my potential, being at once the promise of an empty page and its fulfillment through the appearance of words, beauty, and meaning. Writing happens through emptiness, an occurrence of words and phrases, ideas, and it's capacity that allows for their arrival, everything that appears is first through me, and this includes the belief that I'm the author of these words. The truth is that each word is spontaneous in its appearance, gifted somehow, and almost instantly received by the emptiness of my potential. 

capacity. 

and so I now see the page as not being truly empty, as it's literally brimming with its own potential for words and beauty, a blank slate provided for any meaning to then follow. The empty screen is the actuality of my potential, a reflection, and whatever spontaneously appears is simply life in its fulfillment. Writing is the pleasure of being alive, serving as capacity...

of seeing my own potential, as well as it's achievement.

instantly, and at once.  

~

Peace, Eric 

If I'm a Yogi

If I'm a yogi: 

it's the practice itself that brings me deep joy, not seeking anything past the present yoga posture being held, this single breath observed, or the silence brought through repetition of my mantra. If I'm a yogi than it's not so much through self-identification as it is for the pleasure of my practice, the wisdom found in so many ancient texts that still hold meaning to me now. an easiness of motion brought to my body from the asanas held each morning, and perhaps most joyful of all is a peaceful and inspired mind that seems to extend from my sitting meditation. These are all benefits, fruits of my practice, but it's the actual performance of each one that brings me the greatest joy, simply practicing for the vibration of the manta's sound, or the easy glide of motion as my body stretches between postures.

if I'm a yogi -

than it's for the pleasure of my practice alone.

and nothing more. 

no, I can't say there's an end to my seeking, although there was a definite shift of energy from a wish for enlightenment towards a sense of exploration, being filled with curiosity and wonder as to whatever next might unfold. It feels that now I'm being led by grace, offered new avenues to discover what life has in store, and that there is absolutely nothing at all to be achieved, nothing to be earned, that everything arrives completely on its own, exactly in its perfect time. This doesn't deny effort, or that there's any work involved - but that it's the work itself, practice, that offers me enlightenment. 

again, it's a subtle shift...

chop wood, carry water, as they say in Zen. 

if I'm a yogi, it's a label lovingly earned through the pleasure of my practice. Yet it's just one more concept that's easily let go. All there is...is what the present moment holds. And it offers infinite avenues that I'm eager to explore. 

~

Peace, Eric 

4: a.m

4:00 a.m 

well before sunlight hints at arrival, earliest morning, and there is much to do as I match my pace with the slowly coming dawn. These are my most favorite hours, productive even as I move without hurry, never at a rush at all, and yet so much seems accomplished by the time they're gone. Usually I'm at at 4:00 a.m and this seems to have mixed reviews health-wise by many experts, with some claiming it has negative effects on certain measures of our body and mind. I don't dispute this, it's a practice not meant for everyone and seems to an hour that has mysteriously called for me awaken without a choice given to my reply. I am up generally well before my alarm sounds, as if the cells of my body have been awake for hours now and are only waiting for my conscious mind to join them. 

4 a.m is the time my body wakes me. 

this is when I first meditate, almost immediately after waking, and it's usually easy to slip into the gap between thoughts at this time, brainwaves still slow in motion and without the morning light to hurry them to action. It's by far the most quiet point of day, seldom any noise aside from the natural occurring sounds of nature, not even birds active now accept for occasional call from an owl in a tree nearby my window, a rare gift received and cherished when it's heard. Meditation has a quality of silence at this hour that is unmatched at other times, I sink easily in its depth, half an hour or more, mantra fading to a faint impression, and then nothing more but my own sense of pure and easy existence, beingness, simply the quiet nature of my soul. 

this alone is worth my waking early. 

from meditation there's motion, still without rush, there's plenty of time ahead, everything moves slow at this hour and my pace is matched to how the morning will unfold. Here, it's the ritual of preparing coffee, sun salutation while it brews, and then it's time for writing - 4:00 a.m is when inspiration calls for me to awaken, rituals performed, and now I listen, words appear, ideas form, and writing seems to happen on its own. That's a full day for me, everything that I would wish to happen has already occurred and the sun has yet to even reach me. So much ahead of me now...

and I pause, enjoying the still quiet, magical quality of the morning.

waiting for light to greet me, 

~

Peace, Eric 

light Bearers

Light bearers: 

we are meant to bring light, that we are luminous in a subtle fashion, emitting a visible glow in small quantities, about 1000 times less intense that what the human eye is sensitive to, and science believes that this is a byproduct of a biochemical reaction within the body, perhaps involving our metabolism. There is also infrared light, electromagnetic radiation with a frequency lower than what we visibly measure. Both of these are the faint glow of our existence, biological, produced by the functions of the body. But in a greater sense still...we are light bearers. 

and there's a more subtle light still, biophotons, emitted from cells, and thought to be a form of communication, intelligence shared between the trillions of cells that constitute our bodies. We literally glow with this intelligence, and it truly makes us luminous beings, light bearers, producing the brilliance of our own existence. 

it's here that I veer from science, at least the modern understanding of our luminosity - biophotons are a recent detection in humans and not yet generally understood, although it's now suspected that there is more to this light than previously imagined. Science is just now opening to the possibility that our subtle light is a communication of energy, intelligence itself expressed through cells, and that perhaps even our DNA plays a role in its production, likening it to the rise of consciousness itself in some possible way. Of course these scientist are on the fringe of an ancient understanding, that we are light bearers, made of luminosity, emitting a frequency that it only truly understood and measured by the soul. 

vedic sages knew this long ago and offered us the salutation of namaste, recognizing our subtle luminosity, an intelligence of divine origin intimately shared between us. Artist too have always known of this light, painting images of a halo effect of those who consciously show their light in a more obvious fashion, perhaps living closer to its source, being light bearers by their intent as well as natural function. On my part, this is all speculation, poetry really, only meant to fill page with words of my imagination. Yet somehow, this too seems to bear a light, words shining from the page, ideas reaching me from a source that I can only call divine no matter of its origin. This is the universal namaste, my light recognizing the subtle luminosity of the world, everything shining forth with an intelligence of pure imagination and infinite creativity. 

we are meant to bring light. 

and just by our existence...

we do. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Sun Salutation

Sun Salutation: 

and so I perform the sun salutation before even a hint of first light, as if greeting what's soon to arrive, my own ritual of fulfillment done and given to the new day. This is indeed a prayer, full body, gratefulness stretched through every vertebra, opening myself to receive every measure of the coming light. I am thankful to be in motion, able to move through this ancient sequence of postures that has awaken so many before me and will continue to do so for ages more. I am a link in an endless, ageless chain, and every morning I am reminded of this connection, of yogis centuries ago in this same performance, a ritual shared between us all. 

we greet the sun together. 

 I so deeply love this morning prayer, truly being a celebration of life, showing how grateful I am through the gift of body and attention, mindful of breath and how it moves and pauses through the entire sequence of poses, flowing with a wisdom completely of its own. My body knows exactly what to do, not just from the sake of years of practice, but something much deeper at play here, ancient, cellular, embedded in the DNA of my very existence. The sun salutation is a memory of previous bodies, yes, I'm talking reincarnation, yet not of a continuing soul, but of molecules and atoms, particles that were once gathered in other forms and prayed to sun light in a similar fashion as I do now. 

and still we greet the sun together. 

the sun salutation is a specific yoga practice, a series of postures meant to flow in sequence, opening energy channels, stretching fully and gentle every aspect of the body. Yet we can each offer up a morning prayer, a yoga of our own affair, a private gesture performed through whatever grace we're now given. Even a nod, when done with purity and full awareness, is a complete salutation, an entire yoga system contained within a glance and slight motion. It's just a means of being grateful, appreciative to a sunlit day, a small prayer that's offered to the morning. Through this...

we greet the sun together. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Self-Understanding

Self-understanding: 

it sometimes feels as if there's a kindness deficit in the world right now, a lack of empathy and self-understanding - and I know as well that this must be true within me if it's recognized at all, a deep place of hurt that's not yet healed or come to light in my own inquiries and time spent in meditation. The world doesn't need healing, I do, and through this I will come to see the world as my reflection, already whole, healed, full of kindness, love, and empathy. 

being a yoga practice of kindness and compassion. 

and it is a practice, allowing this natural gift to come to surface, with just a little awareness and it becomes a spontaneous surprise, my true self being shown to the world in every act of grace and kindness, easily and without effort of my own. That's what's meant by self-understanding, exploring below the surface of my initial reactions and finding a deep reservoir of compassion, that by my very nature I display kindness simply being as I truly am, and that any practice done is really only a means of self-revelation, my own love shown to me and now given to the world. 

this isn't a yoga of denial, negating any emotions that arise, it's much more free than that, allowing, allowing, and always allowing my world exactly as it is right now. It's with this that I find myself whole, accepting every cloud as it passes through the spacious nature of my soul. I am clear sky, continuous, never darkened by any cloud or storm, and my real practice is in recognizing this, deeply so, associating myself with this ever present sense of loving-kindness, even as I get lost amidst the clouds of judgement and anger - there is still the self-understanding of my clear sky nature. 

that's my true yoga practice.

returning to this depth of loving-kindness, empathy displayed by acceptance of my unhealed pain and any faults that might be shown. My practice begins and ends with this, an allowingness of all that comes to surface, everything instantly healed through the lens of my awareness. 

in this self-understanding...

I see that I am whole, complete, a clear sky of infinite loving-kindness.

~

Peace, Eric