Four Things

Four things: 

during meditation, and more specifically a mantra session, we can expect four things to occur, and if any one of these are happening then we are in the midst of a successful meditation. There's no particular order here, it's not a sequence of events, and really these are only experiences to be noted as aspects of our practice, things that occur naturally during our time of practice. Our meditation is centered on the mantra, it's not a focused practice, it isn't based on effort or concentration but an an easy repetition and remembering of the mantra, gentle, forgiving of any moment that we stray towards our thoughts. 

and thoughts will happen. 

often.

our role is to return to the mantra, easily, making it a joy to return its repetition. The mantra too is a thought, yet one without meaning other than its vibration, a frequency that lends itself to our relaxation and belonging. There is no pace to follow, no rhythm to be concerned for, it's not chanting, it's just a thought and we choose with preference and delight. 

that's our practice.

simple.

easy.

if we're thinking our mantra, giving it our preference over other thoughts, returning to it as often as remembered, then we're successfully meditation. Four things can happen here, and the first two are thoughts, we're either thinking the mantra or giving our attention to mundane thoughts. Both will happen with regular occurrence and as long as we are gentle with our return to the mantra, than our meditation is unfolding perfectly, everything is going fine. Thoughts happen, our mind wanders, and we gently, easily, return to thinking the mantra. That's the nature of our practice. 

or...

we might fall asleep. 

that happens too, of the four things perhaps less likely so, maybe not very often, but on occasion it will, at least if one is very sleepy. Meditation is relaxing, and if daily stress has disturbed our sleep then it will lend itself for deep relaxation and this may result in falling asleep. It's a natural response. When we wake up, no matter the length of time, we return to the mantra, again, easily, gently, no judgement offered to a sleepy mind. Here's the pattern, something happens during our meditation, we're caught in loop of constant thought, perhaps following a stray thought to the realm of our imagination, or we find ourselves too sleepy to maintain our focus, falling asleep for a moment of our practice - noticing this, any of aspect or variations of these three things, and we return to the mantra. No fuss is made, no judgement of success ir failure, just the mantra, again, returning, always our return. 

that's our practice.

four things can happen while we're sitting, with thoughts and mantra being more of a promise and sleeping a rarity of a very tired mind. With this we come to the final one, and it's a promise as well, a natural occurrence, yet magical, and one beyond our personal control. In mantra practice it's called the Gap, an ever present silence found between our every thought, primordial, infinite in its creative potentiality. The Gap is really who we are, presence, remaining unmarred from whatever thought it holds, pure mind, allowing by it's very nature. We fall into the Gap naturally, without effort and without it even being sought. It happens on its own. Always. But sometimes we don't notice, there's no reference point here, being pure awareness there's nothing for it's compare, and it's only after our return to thought or mantra that we realize something magical has happened. We slipped into the Gap, beyond the realm of realization, we were simply presence, beingness, relaxed as our original mind. The Gap is remembered as our return home, and we are naturally drawn there by thinking the mantra, led by it's vibration, settling here without effort or even notice. 

it happens on it's own. 

of these four things mentioned only the mantra is purposely chosen, consciously courted and given our preference. Everything else is a byproduct of our sitting, happening beyond our control, and really without any care. We don't fight what happens naturally, our practice is one of simply allowing, and to give ourselves to the mantra frequently, often. If any of these four things are happening, we are meditating, successfully, easily and there's nothing here for our concern.

that's the joy of sitting, it's how we practice. 

we think the mantra.

nothing more is needed. 

everything else happens on its own. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Breaking Open

Breaking open: 

each moment breaks from its own fullness, tenderness, a wish to hold all that appears within it, and yet only holding so much before succumbing to motion, shifting to a new expression and breaking once more. Life is made of these breaking moments, never again instances of such unique and precious beauty, continuously being offered to our notice. More important still is that this too is  truly what we are, being a seamless parade of a moment breaking open, tenderness displayed, and shown to be a lifetime. 

and really this is seamless to the point beyond counting, not actually moments at all, just life flowing through our perception, interpreted by the senses as events happening through time. We are immersed in this, life, it's what we are, and we break open from the tenderness of this expression, being so full of our own beauty that we must continue on and show ourselves as the further beauty of the world.

we are a moment...continuously breaking open.

to be mindful of this, for even an instant, and we touch upon eternity, now knowing ourselves as more truly the motion of the world. Each moment is breaking open from its own beauty, continuously so, and we are privileged by a lifetime in which to notice our own participation here, baring witness to the tenderness of our every expression, given no choice but to break ourselves open and share this beauty as the world. 

it's what we are..

the tenderness of a moment,

so full of beauty,

continuously breaking open. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Promise of Fulfillment

it started as a discipline, a means of achieving the end result of a better life. I began to meditate for the clear benefits that the practice seemed to offer me, a promise of fulfillment that I had read about in countless books and articles on the subject. I've practiced now for almost three decades, and almost every promise of health and emotional well-being has been fulfilled to a certain extent, perhaps in some subtle ways that often escape my daily notice. But here's what I notice, looking back through my years of practice, somewhere along the way meditation ceased to really be a practice, or at least not in any disciplined kind of way. I still call it a practice, as the act itself is more of an art-form, a practice of mantra weaved through an extended period of silence, an approach of stillness settling thoughts and relaxing any tension of my body. It's a practice that happens on it's own now, no longer calling me to action, no real discipline involved - meditation is simply what I'm called to do. 

happily so.

the practice of meditation is an answer to its own promise of fulfillment, it's a paradox in a way, that the action itself is its own achievement, any results are really only the side benefits of sitting for its own sake. I no longer have expectations of practice, I'm not seeking enlightenment nor results of any higher states of consciousness. Whatever happens from my practice is a happy effect of my love for simply sitting still and the soft repetition of the mantra fading to a perfect silence. Anything that comes from this practice is an extra grace, one I'm grateful to receive, but no longer a reason for my sitting. 

somewhere through the years my practiced changed, no longer a discipline, but an eager opportunity to sit in silence, allowing the early morning to emerge through my senses, and again later in the day to feel the world begin to settle down, as if both dawn and dusk occur within me. That's the promise of fulfillment, just allowing the world to be without my interference, that I offer a response from a deep reserve of stillness and not a reaction based upon my every state of mind. I'm happy to sit for the sake of being relaxed in my own presence...and it seems to the world responds in kind. That's enough for me, more so really - it's my promise of fulfillment.  

~

Peace, Eric 

With The Quietness of The Breath

With the quietness of the breath: 

sitting with the quietness of the breath, grown so subtle now as to barely feel it's passing, my mantra just a pure vibration echoing all the way through me to the edge of what seems an infinite field of silence - and then...nothing, absolute and aware.

it's been said by Vedic seers that to place an intention at this point of meditation is to be assured of its instant manifestation, a seed planted within the moment's pure potentiality and then immediately baring fruit. It's a skillful means that's beyond me though, even past my consideration, as it's enough to just reach this place of silence, sitting with the quietness of the breath, content to simply let the world happen as it will, without intentions nor concern for my own affairs. 

this could be seen as true spontaneous fulfillment, with nothing more needed than what the moment itself provides. It's a rare occurrence of course, at least for me and at this point of my meditation. Yet it happens, and perhaps not so rare but more often overlooked for the favor of a returning thought that causes my distraction. The infinite field of silence is always present, serving as capacity for every present thought, allowing breath and sound the freedom of their passage. 

meditation is really just the realization that we serve as this capacity and that in certain moments, such as sitting with the quietness of the breath, or listening as the mantra plays softly through the mind until we reach this ever present field of silence - yes, in these certain moments we realize that our every need is met right now, instantly manifested as air supplied for breath, heart beating in a rhythm of fulfillment, life spontaneously and easily occurring without our interference.

sitting with the quietness of the breath, serving the world as this capacity...

and I am instantly fulfilled. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Smaller Dharma

Smaller dharma: 

dharma has become an important consideration for me lately, giving thought to my larger purpose, a self-inquiry of meaning and the theme of my existence through the mid point of my life. There are some who are so gifted with a specific talent that's there's no question as to their  life's direction, others with a passionate drive that seems to clear the way for whatever path they choose to follow. I have always been more of a wanderer, having a smaller dharma as it so appears, my passions being simple by their nature, varied, and never felt to be my true calling. My wish was not to have a great single talent to display, but to just know my purpose here, to have a real reason for my existence, perhaps some meaning for what was long felt to be an aimless life. 

my life at mid-point now, and my dharma is still not clear, at least not in any sense that lends itself to a clear review of purpose. My accomplishments are quite easy to measure, some being physical and achieved through hard word and effort, others being creative in their expression. But nothing I've done has any theme of great meaning, no depth to their purpose, indeed they're all just smaller dharma, really nothing more than flash points of achievement through all my years of living. 

and yet, 

there's something important here to consider, yes, this is a smaller dharma - and one with such care and tenderness given to all I've ever held dear, these smaller things, that each well written book I've read was loved and cherished deeply, my life's been devoted to poetry and a clear expression of beauty and love of nature. I was available to care for both my parents during their hard declining years, providing a service of deep commitment to their well-being and dignity through long illness and being near and present in their final hours. I have a love of stillness and silence, meditation as a sincere lifetime practice and I offer this to others, teaching, writing, an enthusiasm without bounds.  Each morning I awake so early, well before dawn to meditate and then greet the day with words written with a quiet joy and passion, never once diminished throughout the years. It's a smaller dharma indeed, no great measure here, no overriding theme of purpose and measure. 

just life...

and the presence that I offer. 

~

Love, Eric 

Essence of Yoga

Essence of yoga:

it's been said that the essence of yoga is found within a single asana, one pose held with steadiness and poise, a dedication to the mastery of stillness within the midst of motion. I love that thought, although I certainly don't have the mindset to pursue that intent, my love of yoga is far ranging in posture and philosophy and I enjoy the full experience. Yet the notion does intrigue me and it has helped me pare my practice down to what I consider essential poses as to what they offer, being of value to mind and body, the very essence of yoga. 

with this in mind it seems that the world opens to me with a new sense of opportunity, to continue to strip my writing down to a bare expression that still contains the merit of a thousand words more. Small beauty is the thought I keep in mind, crafting just one line that carries the weight of the entire point of what I'm writing, similar to one asana holding the essence of yoga in its display. The posture itself is simply the means for a greater realization of who we truly are, with yoga being the union of worlds, physical matched with spirit, emotions grounded to the body. Writing is yoga, and with a single line an author can reach this same realization, union on the page, written through a sense of poise, balance, the small beauty of just a few words offered as the very essence of poetry.

one line only...

the asana of our full expression.

that's the essence of yoga, and truly writing is yoga, everything is - it's all an opportunity to tie our worlds together by a single posture, a well crafted line composed for the sake of some small beauty we've been captivated by, knowing that this one expression contains the entire essence of the world. With this than my practice is yoga, through everything I do, it's all offered as a gift to something far larger than the moment of my single focus. Small beauty. Yet through this, a single asana, just one line written, being the essence of yoga...I touch the beauty of the world. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Point of Notice

Point of notice: 

with everything cared for, each detail of realty happening on it's own and without any effort needed to sustain it - the mantra easily leads me here, this point of notice where life occurs throughout every particle of my existence, that I'm completely engaged as both stillness and motion, observer and observed, aware, and simply nothing more then ever feature of the world. 

and all I do is sit here with the soft repetition of the mantra playing through me, listening further and deeper to it's vibration, until this subtle notice is reached and then everything is at once let go of, surrendered to the ease of my existence. I am life, only and completely. 

this is where air meets my lips and becomes the breath, where particles form the very the structure of my existence, and atoms join as molecules, cells, creating the fabric of skin and the support of bones, every body part is gifted from this point of notice. Everything happens here, it's the moment of the Big Bang, the singularity and impulse of its expansion, timeless, infinite, and yet the birthplace of time and measure. 

it's the point of my notice, always being here, and only now brought to the point of notice. The mantra brings me here through my listening, seemingly deep within the mind, past the hold of thoughts and any meaning, as if my own private world is now given the privilege of a view. But this isn't quite so, as more subtle still, seamless, this isn't my world at all, there's only life occurring here, and I am simply an aspect of its awareness, just a point within this infinite point of notice. 

an endless loop of pure existence.

~

Peace, Eric